


sunshine

by peterbparker



Series: here comes the sun [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A beautiful mess together!, Amputee Bucky Barnes, Avengers Family, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Dad Bucky Barnes, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kid Fic, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Retired Steve Rogers, Shrunkyclunks, So is Bucky, Steve is a mess, The Avengers Are Good Bros, and they fall in love!, they're neighbours!, young avengers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 107,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29142516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterbparker/pseuds/peterbparker
Summary: “This is Winnie.” Nice Hot Neighbour smiled andJesus Christ, Steve was fucked.“She’s my daughter. And I’m Bucky.”Nice Hot Neighbour,Bucky,extended his right hand to shake Steve’s. Steve did the culturally accepted thing and shook it, trying to maintain a nice smile, not a crazy one.“Nice to meet you, Bucky. I’m Steve.”or; retired Steve Rogers moves back to Brooklyn and becomes neighbours with history professor Bucky Barnes and his Black Widow fanatic six-year-old daughter, Winnie Barnes. With their help, Steve finds himself (and maybe love).
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: here comes the sun [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2176293
Comments: 281
Kudos: 410





	1. Send out your ray of sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> hello! welcome to a very self-indulgent fic that I’ve been working on for over a year and somehow turned out to be 100k+ words.
> 
> everything has been written and is ready to go, so you can expect a couple of updates every week (no schedule at the moment because, you know, life).
> 
> I hope you’ll stick around for the long game and enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)) 
> 
> Title from The Sunshine Song by Jason Marz

Steve Rogers stood in the middle of his new apartment and thought, _well, fuck._

It wasn’t a bad apartment, not at all. It was the perfect size for a single man in his, technically, early thirties, with two bedrooms, one bathroom, an open plan kitchen/dining/living room and a small balcony that overlooked the busy New York street below him.

If Steve was being honest, he was really happy with the building. It was near a park with good running tracks, not too busy, easy to navigate and evacuate in case of an attack, and of course, it was in Brooklyn. 

Steve was swearing because now he actually had to follow through with his idea to retire and pass the shield to Sam, move to Brooklyn and get a life. 

“I think this is the last of it,” Sam said behind Steve, carrying a coffee table with Clint. They deposited it just by Steve’s feet and stood back up, smiling at each other.

“Well, Cap. I’m really happy for you.” Clint clapped him on the shoulder after wiping sweat off his forehead. “Even if you aren’t technically Cap anymore but isn’t Cap more like a state of mind anyway-”

“What bird boy is trying to say,” Tony stepped away from the wall he was leaning on. He had decided to tag along for the move from the Compound to the apartment, even though he didn’t help other than giving Steve a new laptop. “We’re gonna miss you, Capsicle.”

Steve smiled at the three men standing in front of him. Yeah. He was gonna miss them too. “Thanks, guys, for helping out. I really appreciate it.” Clint rolled his eyes, obviously upset that Tony hadn’t actually done much. “I’ll miss you guys too.”

Tony smiled, really smiled, and kissed Steve on the cheek before walking out. “Don’t be a stranger, Rogers.”

Clint kissed Steve on the other cheek, teasing Tony for his affectionate ways. “Yeah, don’t be a stranger.”

Steve watched both of them go, an ache in his chest. Was this a mistake? Did he not think this through enough? Was he going to spiral even more than he was doing before and end up worse off?

Sam could probably read his thoughts because he placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder, gaining his attention. “I know you feel like this could be a mistake, but trust me. I really feel like this is the best thing for you right now.”

“I know, I know.” Steve let his head hang, closing his eyes. “I’m just gonna miss seeing you guys every day.”

Sam squeezed his shoulder. “Yeah, well, I’ll make sure I send you heaps of videos and send Clint your way when he gets annoying.” Knowing Clint, that could be every day. “But really Steve. Embrace this change. It will be good.”

“Thank you, Sam.” Steve wrapped his arms around Sam in a hug. 

He hoped Sam knew that the thank you wasn’t just for that little bit of advice, but for being the friend that Steve needed and would need for the rest of his life. Sam has been there during the nights when Steve came to him crying, and he was there when Steve did something reckless on the field because he didn’t feel like living anymore. Sam was also there to take up Steve’s offer to hand over the mantle and name of Captain America. Steve knew he’d be thanking Sam for the rest of his life.

“No problems, Steve.” Sam pulled back from the hug and gave Steve one more smile. “I’ll see you around.”

Steve nodded and then watched his best friend leave out the door. He closed his eyes, suddenly hit with a wave of emotion so strong he was surprised it didn’t topple him over on the spot. 

“You okay there, Rogers?”

Steve jumped, his hand flying to his back to grab at a shield that was no longer there. He spun around instead, with his fists in front of his face, only to see Natasha standing in the doorway to the balcony.

“Jesus Christ, Nat!” Steve sighed, rubbing a hand on his forehead at the spike of adrenaline. 

She didn’t respond but just stood there. Her eyes searched his face in a way he had become familiar with. This wasn’t Black Widow calculating her opponent, but Natasha Romanoff concerned for a close friend. 

He sighed again, knowing that the conversation they were about to have wouldn’t be easy. He sat down on the coffee table Sam and Clint brought up. “When did you get here?”

“I haven’t been stalking you from the balcony for long if that’s what you’re asking,” she said. She uncrossed her arms and took a few steps towards him before stopping.

He looked up at her, and something in his eyes must have broken her because her face softened. She took the last few steps towards him and placed a hand on his forehead, pushing his hair back from his forehead. He kept looking at her.

“Don’t be sad, Steve. This is a new beginning. One you deserve.” Nat said it with so much conviction that he wanted to believe it. 

He rolled his eyes though, looking down at their feet. Her hand stayed in his hair, softly brushing her fingers through it. “I don’t remember much of my life before Captain America. You know that. I don’t know how to live without him.”

Her hand slipped down his face until she gently took his chin and moved his face up, forcing him to look at her. Anxious sky blue eyes met determined forest green. “You are Captain America, Steve. Steve Rogers and Captain America are both different people, and you need to realise that you are both and that it’s okay.” She bent down, smiling softly at him. “The problem, however, was that you were letting the Cap side of you dictate your life. You gotta look after the Steve side too, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” She smiled at him, teeth and all. He knew that was her way of saying that she was proud of him. She kissed him on the forehead, and he knew that was her way of saying that she loved him. 

She rose, and he followed her to the door. When they reached the door, Nat lent in a little closer to whisper in his ear. “Your neighbour is also really hot. You should get on that.”

He chuckled and watched as she smirked, before jogging lightly down the stairs to leave him be. He knew that was her way of telling him to get a life. 

He took a step back into his apartment and closed the door. Steve was officially alone. He turned around and looked at the boxes scattered everywhere between pieces of furniture, some stolen from the Compound and others newly bought. A new beginning. 

He rolled his eyes, went straight past the boxes that he would get around to eventually, and flopped down on top of the mattress in his room. He closed his eyes, thought about how he could _finally_ be Steve Rogers and went straight to sleep that was _not_ a grandpa nap, even if his friends might have called it that. 

***

“You’re a fucking idiot.” 

Bucky rolled his eyes at himself in the mirror, determined to look somewhat decent today. He had stayed up last night going over today’s lecture notes, even though he knows that he knows them like the back of his hand. Staying up late and waking up early meant little sleep, and he could clearly see it on his face. 

He huffed and went to find a tie before standing back in front of his mirror, tying it effortlessly. He had a lot of practice of tying his tie with only one hand, and he pressed it against his chest, satisfied and happy. 

Out of the corner of his eye noticed a flurry of movement outside his bedroom window. Bucky whipped around to inspect what it was, lowering his stance incase he suddenly found himself in a fight. There was nothing at the window though. A cat, possibly. He shrugged, internally wincing at his over reaction, turning back to the mirror to run a hand through his short hair.

“Dad!” 

Bucky sighed. He gave himself a pathetic smile in the mirror and once realising how pathetic it looked, it quickly turned into a frown. He gave himself a thumbs up and then left his bedroom as another yell sounded out through the apartment.

“Yeah, sweetie?” He walked over to the balcony where he left Winnie after her early morning breakfast. 

She was standing on the balcony, in her favourite yellow polka dot dress with a smock on top and her brown hair in a ponytail. She was grinning ear to ear, her hands covered in paint from her new obsession with finger painting, blue eyes just like his sparkling in the early morning sun.

He titled his head to the side, analysing the painting resting on the piece of cardboard placed on top of a low chair as a temporary easel. It was a mess of bright colours, ranging from pink to green to blue. He couldn’t quite work out what she was trying to make, but he smiled and squeezed her shoulder affectionately anyways.

“That looks great, Wins!”

She rolled her eyes and oh fuck his heart was melting. Every new thing she did, from rolling her eyes to helping him cook dinner, made him physically ache with love. “I haven’t finished it yet, Daddy.”

“Oh?” He scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion.

“I saw Black Widow!”

That made him even more confused. He knelt down in front of her, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “Black Widow?” She nodded. “Here? In Brooklyn?” She kept nodding.

His heart leapt into his throat and he quickly wrapped an arm around Winnie’s waist, pulling her with him and he rushed back into the apartment, closing the balcony doors behind him. He placed her down on the ground, crouching in front of her trying to shield her from any possible bullets that could come in through the window. 

“Dad?” Winnie placed her small hand on his shoulder. “What are you doing?”

“Do you know what Black Widow was doing?” Bucky rushed, trying to listen to signs of a fight or anything that would draw _the_ Black Window to a small apartment complex in Brooklyn.

“She climbed up the side of the building,” Winnie was saying. “And stayed on the balcony next door for a bit. She saw me and waved at me, Daddy!” 

He turned his face back towards hers and copied her giant smile. “That’s so great, sweetie! But what did she do next?”

“She went into the house next door.” Winnie shrugged, looking down at her paint-covered hands.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. Black Widow is currently next door? “Was she fighting anybody?”

Winnie shook her head and tried to brush the stray piece of hair back behind her ear, but Bucky caught her hand just in time to stop it so she wouldn’t get paint on her face. “No. She wasn’t even dressed in her super cool suit, Daddy!”

He let out a breath that he didn’t even realise he was holding. Thank God. Black Widow being seen in public was usually associated with some sort of spy mission and the fact that she wasn’t in her suit or fighting anyone gave him a little peace of mind. She could be undercover though, doing recon for an even bigger mission but he was confident in Natasha Romanoff’s abilities that no harm would come to Winnie if she could help it. It didn’t answer the question of why Black Widow was currently next door, however, but he felt like he could figure that out later. 

He glanced at the time and groaned. “Alright, Winnie. We better get going soon.”

She groaned too, rolling her eyes and walking away from him to go back to her painting. He chuckled to himself. “Do we have to go to school? I want to see if Black Widow comes back!”

He stood up, going to the kitchen and getting out some snacks and putting them into her lunch box. “Yes, we have to go to school. Miss Morse told me that you’ve got someone coming into school today to talk about stranger danger.” He heard her huff and without looking at her he could tell she was crossing her arms. “And my kids have a very important paper due so they’re very stressed.” He reminded her.

“Your kids are always stressed, Dad.” 

He laughed, thinking about his classes and the breakdowns that he had had to endure over the years. “Yeah, they are.”

Bucky looked up from placing her now packed lunch box into her backpack to find her standing in the doorway to the balcony, her paint-covered hands hanging by her side and the biggest pout he had ever seen resting on her face. His face immediately softened, his lips twitching upwards. She had been trying this recently, a big pout and big puppy dog eyes, to get her way. Little did she know that he had become immune to it because she used it so much. All it did was make him love her even more.

“Don’t you think they should have a day off then?” Winnie asked, making her voice smaller.

Bucky sighed, zipping up her backpack. “How about we make a deal?”

She brightened at that and bounded over to him, standing right in front of him and raising her chin so she could look him in the eye.

“We both go to school-” Winnie physically deflated until she was folded in half, her head and arms dangling to the floor. “-but after school, we bake some cookies and take them next door. Maybe whoever’s just moved in can tell us why Black Widow was there.”

She straightened back up and contemplated it for a bit, her face scrunching up adorably. “Would we keep some of the cookies to eat?”

“Of course.”

“Okay!” Winnie smiled.

“Perfect!” He smiled back and bent down, one arm around both her legs to carry her to the bathroom. “Now, let’s get this paint off of you.”

***

Bucky successfully dropped his daughter off to school and made it to his classes right on time. Being an Associate Professor of Twentieth Century History at college took up a lot of his energy, but fucking hell he loved it. He had a total of five classes, each filled with kids of varying ages, shapes, and sizes, but each had a passion for history that he fed off of. Every year he taught the same course, but the fire never left. He loved analysing how the world was reshaped with new borders, power structures, ideologies, and movements, the cause and effect of decisions.

He knew he was a history nerd, something of which he was proud, and he was quite happy to be a part of the small percentage of the population that loved their jobs. He was glad that Winnie had someone to look up to that had a passion and drive and he could only hope that she would follow in his footsteps and find the perfect career for herself. 

The only cons of his job, there was a small list, was the stress of assignments and exams. Whilst he didn’t actually have to sit either, he cared so much about his kids and their grades that it caused a mountain load of stress on him, never mind that he had to mark them. Becca said that it was nice but unhealthy. Bucky liked to focus on the nice part. 

Bucky was just finishing up his final class for the day when his phone rang. He quickly answered a student's last question before fishing it out of his bag. He sighed in relief when he saw that it was Becca. 

“Did you know that the French eat around 30,000 tons of snails each year?”

“Well, hello to you too, sister.” He said, sarcastically.

“Shut up.”

He grinned and turned to pack his laptop into his bag. “How’re you doing, Becs?”

She sighed. “Oh, I’m doing terrible, Bucky. Europe is just the worst. The terrible food and the culture. Ugh! The culture. How dare they?”

“So you’re having fun then?” He slipped his bag onto his good shoulder and held his phone to his ear with the same hand. He quickly checked the time whilst waiting for Becca’s answer. He had an hour until Winnie got out of school. 

“I’m having the best time of my life,” Becca was saying. “I just left France yesterday and I’m currently on the way to Switzerland. Did you know that French boys are the best kissers? So much better than Brooklyn scum.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, making his way to the subway. “I did not know that. I have never kissed a French boy.”

“You should get on that.”

“Maybe you could bring a French boy home? Any keepers?”

She sighed wistfully. “No.” There was a pause, long enough that Bucky stopped walking, tilting his head to the side. 

“Becca?”

“Speaking about home, I’m thinking that I won’t be home this weekend but I’m going to extend my trip for a few more months.”

He blinked in surprise before continuing walking. “Okay. Can you afford that?”

“Yeah. I’ve been working while I’m here and Ma and Dad said they’d pay for the flight home for me.”

“Huh,” Bucky quickly walked through the gates to the subway station. “Well, that sounds good, Becs. I’m happy for you. As long as you stay safe.”

He could tell she was rolling her eyes. “Thanks, Buck. I’m sorry about Winnie, though. I know she was excited to see me again but I feel like I need to do this.”

“That’s okay,” he slipped through the open doors into the subway cart. “As long as you send some pictures for her she’ll be okay. And presents. Lots of presents.”

Becca laughed. “Of course.”

“And I’ll book her in for more after school care for when you’d normally pick her up.”

She sighed. “Thanks, Bucky. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course, Becs.” He grinned. “I’m expecting presents too.”

“Nope,” she said as his jaw dropped. “Bye!”

“Talk to you later, you brat.”

He rolled his eyes before putting his phone in his back pocket. A small smile played on his lips as he thought about his sister. They’d been thick as thieves growing up, either ripping out each other's hair or laughing until they cried, with little in between. Through everything Bucky’s been through, Becca stayed at his side and never wavered in her support.

She was a phenomenal woman, an amazing aunt, and the best sister that Bucky could have ever asked for. If she needed some alone time skipping through Europe and having the time of her life, Bucky would only ever be happy for her. 

The subway came to a stop at his station. Bucky quickly slipped out, trying not to bump people too much. He made it out safely before heading up to the street. He got to Winnie’s school with time to spare. 

He pulled out his phone again, smiling when he saw that Becca had already sent through some photos of her in France. She sent some food pictures, one of her on top of the Eiffel Tower, and then a selfie with a three-legged cat in a dirty looking alleyway. He hearted that one before saving them all to his camera roll to show Winnie. He put his phone back before tilting his head back to let the extremely rare January sun wash over his face. 

He lost track of time and then suddenly something jumped on top of him, narrowing missing where the sun doesn’t shine but going straight for his knees, nearly making them buckle out from under him. He let out a grunt as giggles filled his ears. He looked down to see his daughter grinning at him, her arms wrapped around his legs. 

“Were you sleeping, Daddy?”

“Of course not, Winnie.” He wrapped his right arm around her waist and he lifted her until she was hanging by his side. 

“Have you forgotten about our deal?”

“Of course not!”

“Good.” And then she wiggled until he had no choice but to drop her. 

She started to skip next to him as they walked in the direction of their apartment. All thoughts of cookies quickly left her head as she started a very detailed description of every second of her day. Bucky had gotten used to this excessive talking and knew exactly when to make noises of agreement or disagreement. 

He timed his gasp perfectly in the story about how Kellie had pushed Ollie’s colouring pencils off his desk and muttered wow in the conclusion of how Winnie and Lucy had made a new friend with Johnny. She followed him into the bodega on the corner of their block, continuing to talk and talk as he grabbed chocolate chips and milk. She didn’t stop talking until they made it to their landing. 

She stopped short at the door to the apartment of the new neighbour, 3A, where she claimed that Black Widow had been. 

Bucky walked straight past her to their own door, fiddling around with the keys. 

“Dad! Look.”

He spun around to see her pointing at a new welcome mat out the front of 3A. “Wow. A welcome mat.”

“That means we’re welcome to give them cookies!” She gushed, a huge grin overtaking her face. She rushed past him into the apartment, flinging her backpack to the ground before running to the kitchen. 

“No, missy!” He called closing the door behind him with his foot. “Unpack your bag and _then_ we can make cookies.”

She groaned, dragging her feet to the bag with the biggest frown on her face. He grinned, kissed her forehead on his way past and went straight to the kitchen to bake some cookies. 

***

Steve groaned. 

It was official. He regretted this so much. In what world did he believe that he could actually live by himself?

Granted he did that in the 30s after his ma passed but that was when you didn’t live, you just _survived._ That was before he knew that he had a perfectly good Compound filled with people he considered family waiting for him only a few hours drive away. That was before he was Captain America and before he let Steve Rogers slip through the gaps. _Before, before, before._

Fuck everything. 

He didn’t unpack much during his first day alone. He took a few hours sleeping on his mattress and when he woke up, Steve felt guilty he had wasted so many hours that he quickly opened his front door, dropped a cheap welcome mat out the front that Clint had bought for him as a joke and then closed his door again. 

Steve then sat on the floor in the middle of the open living area, cried for a little bit before his stomach rumbled. He ordered some take out from a Chinese place, then called again and ordered more food because of his enhanced metabolism, cried a little more and then slumped back on his mattress. He picked up his phone, clicked on her contact and waited until she picked up. It only took two rings. 

“Have you been crying?”

Steve sniffed. “No.”

There was a beat. “Fucking hell, Rogers. How many times do I need to tell you that you are capable of this?”

He shrugged, his throat clogging up with emotion. “I know,” He picked at a loose strand in his red Iron Man hoodie. “I’m Captain America. I’ve saved the world before so I can live by myself.”

“And you’re also Steve Rogers who survived the Great Depression, who is strong and compassionate.”

He let out a sigh, his shoulders slumping until he could rest his forehead on his bent knees. “Thanks, Nat.” 

He knew that talking to her would reassure him that he could do this. He had come to learn that Natasha knew a lot of things, was great at reading people and believed in him wholeheartedly.

“Tell me what you achieved today.”

“I, uh, ordered take out, which forced me to talk to a person. And put the welcome mat in front of the door.”

Nat chuckled. “Good. Baby steps, Steve. No one is expecting you to have your life together and made within the first day.”

Any leftover tension washed away like a leaf in a river. “Yeah. I even opened a window.”

“Speaking of windows,” she said, as Steve’s face contorted into confusion. “I was looking through your neighbour's window-“ he made a small noise of protest. “-and I think you should introduce yourself to him.”

“Why, Nat?” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “What happened to keeping the fact that I live here on the down-low?”

“Your neighbours will find out eventually. Make sure it goes well, though, okay? He’s good looking.”

He rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

He was about to say something along the lines of a sarcastic response when he heard a knock at the door. He sighed again, slowly getting up from the bed. “Gotta go. Someone just knocked on the door.”

“God, I hope it’s Hot Neighbour.”

Steve really wished it wasn’t. He hung up on Nat, knowing he’d probably call her another five times before he went to bed at some ungodly hour in the morning. He brushed a hand through his hair, before rubbing his face. He quickly padded to the door, and tossing all thoughts about safety and secrecy, swung open the door.

_Holy fucking shit._

The man standing on his stupid welcoming mat was godlike, and Steve would know. He had met multiple gods, but nothing quite like this man. High cheekbones, a sharp jaw that would probably cut his finger if he traced it, and those lips. Goddamn, those lips. Pink and lush and so kissable. If Steve Roger didn’t know that he was an awkward panicked bisexual by that point, he knew that this man would have confirmed everything for him. Especially in that white button-down shirt and light blue jeans that hugged everything _just right._

And his hair? Short and floofy and Steve needed to stop all thoughts of running his hand through that hair and tugging at it. Eyes that had been flickering around finally settled on Steve and the feeling that he always got right before a battle, when his body knows that he’s about to jump out of a plane without a parachute and his stomach swoops and his heartbeats when he finally does it hit Steve one hundred times harder than it ever had before. Blue-grey was now his favourite colour. 

“Hi.” The man said, and Steve suddenly realised that yes, he was staring at this beautiful angel and yes, it was most definitely creepy and awkward.

“Hi!” Said another voice and Steve was forced to peel his gaze from the most gorgeous man to walk the Earth to a little girl, standing in front.

 _Oh,_ Steve realised. _Daughter. Which means he's probably in a relationship._

Steve tried not to show his disappointment on his face and let a smile take over his face as he looked down at the little girl. She was cute, very cute, with a small nose and high cheekbones, and brown hair falling to her shoulders. A quick glance back to the man to see yeah, they had the same structural features and same coloured eyes. _Shit._

“Hey,” Steve said instead of _are you into guys because I need you right now_ because that would be rude and inappropriate. “How can I help?”

The man placed a hand on the little girl’s shoulder and that’s when Steve saw that his left sleeve was pinned to just below the shoulder. Amputee. Interesting. He made sure not to let his eyes linger there to make sure that the man wouldn’t be uncomfortable. 

“Well, we saw that you moved in today, and since we’re your only neighbours on this floor we thought we’d introduce ourselves.”

So he _was_ Hot Neighbour. Nat wasn’t wrong, his name suited him. Steve thought that maybe a Nice should be added in there though. When he had first come out of the ice, it was a shock to his system at how much etiquette had changed. Or maybe it was just the way that Sarah Rogers had raised him to always be kind. Steve knew that Sarah would be very impressed by Nice Hot Neighbour and his daughter. 

“This is Winnie.” Nice Hot Neighbour smiled and _Jesus Christ, Steve was fucked_. “She’s my daughter. And I’m Bucky.”

Nice Hot Neighbour, _Bucky_ , extended his right hand to shake Steve’s. Steve did the culturally accepted thing and shook it, trying to maintain a nice smile, not a crazy one.

“Nice to meet you, Bucky. I’m Steve.”

Bucky smile grew a little, a faint blush on his cheek. Steve felt the world disappear around him as Bucky looked at him again. He didn’t realise that they still had their hands clasped until Winnie spoke.

“We made cookies!” 

Steve jumped slightly, letting go of Bucky’s hand, and turned his attention to Winnie. He then saw the plastic container, filled with choc chip cookies, that she was clutching in her hands.

He smiled again, squatting to be eye level with her. He raised his eyebrows, trying not to think about the very hot, probably has a wife, man standing _right there_. “Wow! For me?”

Winnie nodded, shoving the cookies into his hands. She had a little bit of flour on her nose and Steve felt his heart-melting a little. She was adorable. “Yeah. Daddy said it was a good excuse to come and talk to you and find out why Black Widow was on your balcony.”

Steve’s jaw kind of dropped in shock for a second before he quickly recovered, looking up to Bucky for confirmation. He was blushing again, a cute pink tint to his cheek and ears, and had put his hand back on Winnie’s shoulders. 

He laughed awkwardly. “When I said to be subtle, Wins, I actually meant to be subtle.” He rolled his eyes before looking back at Steve. Thank god for his superhuman balance because he would most definitely be on the floor by now if he weren’t Captain America. “Sorry that there was an ulterior motive here. We would have introduced ourselves anyways.”

Could Steve fall in love with someone based on voice? It felt like angels were singing. Steve stood again because he wanted to look at Bucky a little more. “No, no, that’s okay.”

Winnie, not happy that the attention had been turned back to her dad, grabbed Steve’s hand and tugged. “Why was Black Widow on your balcony, Mister Steve?”

Steve felt his eyes widen a little at the cuteness of Winnie Whatever-Their-Last-Name-Is. “Oh, uh, I moved in today and Black Widow was helping me out.” _Lies, she was spying on your dad and giving me emotional advice._

Winnie gasped like he had given her the greatest news ever. “How do you know Black Widow?” Her eyes grew to the size of large chocolate chips. 

“Her and I used to work together.” He said because it was true. And neither Bucky nor Winnie had seemed to recognise him yet, which made him feel like _Steve._ “She’s one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world.”

Winnie’s jaw dropped as she started to gush “oh my god” over and over again. Steve smiled before looking back to Bucky. Bucky’s own eyes widened a little when Steve made eye contact, and the faint pink tinge from before deepened. Recognition flickered through his beautiful blue-grey eyes and Steve sighed internally. Of course, Captain America would ruin any chance of being friends with Nice Hot Neighbour. Steve prayed in that split second that Bucky wouldn’t ask for an autograph or a selfie, or faint, or even worse, propose, which had actually happened numerous times before. Actually, the more Steve thought about it, he would probably say yes. 

But Bucky didn’t do any of those things. Instead, Bucky wiped all surprise off of his face and smiled at Steve. Steve felt himself smiling back. 

Winnie was now pulling on the end of her dad’s shirt. “Mister Steve is best friends with Black Widow, Dad!”

“I know, sweetie.” Bucky smiled fondly down at Winnie, causing Steve’s heart to melt in the process. “I heard.” Bucky’s eyes flickered back up to Steve, searching for something and once he had found it he looked back at Winnie. “You can ask Steve one question before we should head back home. If that’s okay?” And Bucky was looking at him again so Steve nodded because apparently, he would take over the world for his neighbour that was cute and sweet. 

Steve squatted down in front of Winnie again as she scrunched her face up in concentration. Her eyes were closed so Steve looked up to Bucky in question.

“She’s thinking,” he shrugged, the sleeve of his left arm shifting slightly. “Black Widow is her favourite superhero. Sorry.”

Steve laughed, shaking his head. “No, that’s okay. She’s probably my favourite too.”

Bucky titled his head to the side in confusion, gesturing to Steve’s hoodie. Forgetting he was wearing it, he looked down in surprise to see a cartoon Iron Man with its gauntlet raised. Steve chuckled. “Stupid gift from Tony. He thinks it’s funny to buy us Avengers merchandise.” 

Bucky lips twitched and he opened his mouth to say something in return before Winnie’s hands shot out, her palms resting on Steve’s cheeks. Startled, Steve’s wide-eyed gaze turned to the little girl who had a crease in between her eyebrows from all the thinking she had done. Stupidly, he felt kind of special with Winnie’s small warm hands on his cheeks. Like he was lucky to be held by such an awesome wholesome kid. 

Bucky made a move to remove Winnie’s hands from Steve’s face, and as much as he would love Bucky’s hands near his face, Steve didn’t feel uncomfortable. So he winked at Bucky to say he was okay. _Winked. At Bucky._ Jesus H Christ, Steve needed to get a grip.

“I have my question,” Winnie stated with the same power and force as to how the President would declare war. “Is Black Widow as cool as she looks on TV in real life?”

Steve squinted, considering his answer. “No,” and oh my god his heart broke at how quickly Winnie’s face fell. “She’s waaaaaay cooler in person.”

And just like that Winnie was smiling like the sun and Steve was very happy because of it. Winnie squeezed his cheeks excitedly before pulling her hands away from his face and spinning to her dad who was watching the whole interaction with fondness. 

“Did you hear that, Daddy?” She was jumping now. “Black Widow is cool in person!”

Bucky ruffled her hair. “Yeah, yeah, I did. Now, what do you say?”

“Thank you, Steve!” and Winnie ran towards him, barrelling into him like a bull before wrapping her arms around his waist in a hug. He froze for a moment before wrapping his own arms around her to return the hug.

She pulled away first, smiling up at him before removing her arms. Steve felt like he was going to cry. He wanted more of this. More of these cute hugs and harmless questions about the Avengers and more eye contact with Bucky so without thinking he opened his mouth. “Winnie?”

“Yeah?”

“You can come round any time you like to ask heaps more questions, if your dad lets you, okay?”

She squealed and hugged him again. “I’m going to think of a list!” She giggled and ran off to her apartment, swung open the door and ran in. Steve watched Bucky in fascination as Bucky’s face softened looking at his daughter's excitement. 

Steve laughed, and Bucky joined in. Was it possible for the soul to leave the body? 

Bucky turned back around to Steve, putting his hand into his pocket and rocking back on the balls of his feet. “Uh, thank you, Steve Rogers. That means the world to her.”

Steve shrugged and rested his shoulder on his doorframe trying to seem nonchalant even though he wanted to kiss Bucky until they were both drunk. “It’s no problem. You guys brought me cookies, so really, thank _you_ , Bucky…”

“Barnes.” Bucky smiled.

“Thank you, Bucky Barnes.”

There was a beat, where the world stopped. The sound of car horns from the street, music from a few floors down, the hum of the apartment's electricity all washed away. Where the heavy problems of Steve’s identity faded into the background and all that was left was Bucky and Steve smiling at each other like a couple of idiots, eyes just scanning each other and trying to commit the other to memory. The moment was interrupted, however, by a voice yelling, “Daddy, I need help!”.

Bucky sighed, almost as if he didn’t want to leave and wanted to stay there. Steve’s heart jumped at the thought. He gave Steve a small smile. “See you around, Rogers.”

Steve tried so hard to make sure his smile didn’t reveal how much he wanted to see Bucky again. “See ya, Barnes.” And he gave Bucky a small little wave which had him mortified but made Bucky laugh and return the wave.

Steve watched Bucky walk back towards his door and kept looking at 3B until alarms went off in his head that Bucky had indeed closed the door a few minutes ago and would not walk out again and yes it was creepy. He sighed, banged his head on the doorframe to push unwanted thoughts out of his mind and walked back into his lonely apartment. 

There was a text waiting for him on his phone from Nat.

**Nat Romanoff:** _He’s hot, isn’t he?_

**Steve Rogers:** _Shut up._

**Nat Romanoff:** _I’m right tho._

**Steve Rogers:** _You’re right about a lot of things._

**Nat Romanoff:** _Did you get his number?_

**Steve Rogers:** _No._

**Nat Romanoff:** _Steve!_

**Steve Rogers:** _What? He lives next door, I’m sure I’ll see him again. Plus he has a daughter._

**Nat Romanoff:** _And that means that he can’t be gay?_

**Steve Rogers:** _Well, it certainly places a question mark above his head, doesn’t it?_

**Nat Romanoff:** _Don’t be a fucking idiot, Rogers. Keep talking to him. A non-Avenger friend would be good for you._

**Steve Rogers:** _I do have non-Avenger friends!_

**Nat Romanoff:** _Name one._

**Steve Rogers:** _Carl._

**Nat Romanoff:** _The coffee guy?_

**Steve Rogers:** _Yeah, okay. I’ll try and find a way to become friends with Bucky._

**Nat Romanoff:** _Cute :)_

**Steve Rogers:** _Fuck off._

**Nat Romanoff:** _Love you too <3_

***

Bucky fell against his door the minute he closed it.

_Fuck, shit, fuck, shit, fuck, shit, fuck, shit, fuck!_

He was surprised when 3A opened their door and he found himself standing in front of a literal god. That jawline and those crystal blue eyes and that shoulder to waist ratio belonged to some demigod. And 3A’s hair was blond and short and sticking up everywhere as if he had just been running his hands through it. Those lips looked so god damn kissable, Bucky could almost feel them kissing his neck.

In that red Iron Man hoodie and grey sweatpants with no socks, he looked so snuggling and cute and Bucky was fucked. His new neighbour was a combination of cute and hot and James Buchanan Barnes was fucked. Bucky knew one hundred per cent why he was fucked when 3A was so sweet with Winnie and made sure to be at eye level with her, treating her like she was a person and not some kid. 

The worst thing was the fact that 3A was actually Steve Rogers, _aka Captain Fucking America._ It wasn’t bad per se. Bucky liked Steve or Captain or whatever civilians were supposed to call him. He was a great leader, seemed like a good person who fought for the right things and had an amazing ass in that suit of his. The problem was that Steve Rogers/Captain America was by all accounts straight. At least to the public he was.

And that meant that Bucky would not be able to kiss those lips. 

His attention was drawn away from inappropriate thoughts about his neighbour when Winnie called out to him again. Bucky sighed. _This was going to be interesting_. 


	2. The sun is shining down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re not a Nazi, are you?” He blurted out, going red in the face as the smile froze on Bucky’s face. Mortification rose in his throat as he tried to recover from his brain's momentary lapse in sanity. “Jeez, I am so sorry-”
> 
> “Where the hell did that come from?” Bucky asked, his smile growing as he watched Steve’s red face with amusement. “Do I look like a Nazi?”
> 
> “No!” Steve said, maybe a little too quickly. “I-I guess my brain is scrambling for something to ruin the night? Nazi’s usually ruin my night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaand second chapter :))
> 
> also, i have no clue where this would be in canon but canon is kinda fucked anyway, so it's whenever you want it!

It was a week and a half until Steve spoke to Bucky again. 

That wasn’t to say that Steve hadn’t thought about Bucky, because he did. He thought about Bucky’s smile and his hair and his eyes. _God, his eyes._ He thought how best to approach Bucky again, whether he should knock on his door and ask Bucky to marry him or wait until he hears them leave their apartment and coincidentally leave his apartment at the same time.

One day, exactly five days after Steve had first met him, Bucky was walking up the stairs to their floor, talking to someone on the phone and Steve, in sheer panic and needing to get out of the building, opened a window and jumped down three stories to the sidewalk to avoid the interaction. 

Not his finest moment but no one needed to know about it. 

Nat had asked him multiple times again if he had talked to Bucky any more, and Steve’s response was always the same. 

**Steve Rogers:** _Fuck off._

So yeah, it was a week and a half later that Steve found himself in the presence of Nice Hot Neighbour again. 

It had been a nice day. The sun was out, a sometimes rare occurrence for mid-January, filtering into Steve’s lonely and depressing apartment. He had yet to unpack anything further than a few items of clothing, some kitchen utensils and his laptop and phone. He hadn’t even made the bed yet. He had been sleeping on a mattress on the ground with no sheets or pillowcases in sight. Steve moved from the bed to the kitchen, to the couch, to the bathroom and then repeat. Whilst that seemed like the majority of the apartment, he hadn’t been very productive. Netflix, take-out and sleeping were what filled his days. 

He had also pretty much dropped contact with all of his friends, because, well, Steve found himself extremely homesick for a building that was all cold concrete and white benchtops but was filled with laughter and comradery and love, even though he was a few streets away from the building he had grown up in and had missed since the war like a missing limb. 

Steve was conflicted. But the Barnes cookies certainly helped. 

He was shoving the last one into his mouth when his eyes caught the clear twilight sky out of the window, and with a mouth full of cookie, he sighed, feeling guilty as the lack of _living_ he was doing. The day had gotten away from him and he hadn’t done anything worth reporting back to Natasha. 

He riffled through the many boxes around the apartment before he found a book he could see himself falling into. He took it out to his small balcony, thought maybe he should get a plant he will most definitely kill, and sat down on the ground, leaning against the balcony railing. Maybe by starting a book before it could get too dark would take away some of his guilt. Maybe. Probably not.

Steve was about to open his book when he realised he had the perfect view of Bucky and Winnie’s balcony from where he was sitting. And because he was lonely, depressed and slightly desperate, he peeked over the railing, hoping to catch a glimpse of one of the Barnes’.

To Steve’s great surprise and mortification, Winnie was standing on her balcony. She had her hair up in a ponytail today, with dark jeans and a blue t-shirt with the NYPD logo on her chest. She was concentrating very hard on what she was doing, and with closer inspection, Steve realised she was finger painting. Emotions he did not want to think about or acknowledge swelled deep in his chest, bringing tears to his eyes. He cleared his throat, dispelling those emotions into the deepest part of his soul where he would never, ever try to dissect them. 

He should have realised this by now, but he was an idiot. He stood up, leaned on the railing facing Winnie and spoke. “Do you possess magical powers, Miss Barnes? Those cookies were to die for.”

Winnie, startled, looked up and raised her hands. She looked adorable with blue paint all over them and Steve desperately wanted to capture it somehow. His fingers twitched, but he refused to acknowledge what they wanted.

She giggled when she realised it was just him and beamed over at him. “Yes, I do! I’m the most powerful magician in all the land!”

He whistled, impressed. “I had thought so. You should use your powers again, I think I need some more cookies.”

She giggled again and this time went to wipe something on her cheek, only smearing blue paint across it. This made her giggle even harder. “Do you have powers?”

“Yes, of course.” Steve tried not to think of a metal tube and extreme pain and blinding light and his limbs growing and his chest expanding and someone screaming in agony, was that him? and then- being taller. “I have extreme talent at watching Netflix shows for hours.”

Winnie nodded and continued to beam at him. “Me too!”

“We should team up.”

“Like the Avengers!”

Steve sighed. “Yeah, like the Avengers.”

There was a beat of silence and Winnie shifted from foot to foot. Knowing she wanted to say something, Steve smiled and raised his eyebrows at her.

“I have another question!” She blurted.

“Shoot.” He smiled.

“What’s Black Widow’s favourite colour?” 

Steve’s eyebrows rose in response. In the grand scheme of things, asking what a person’s favourite colour is not a challenging question or one that would require some pondering, but considering that this question was about Natasha fucking Romanoff, Steve had no fucking idea.

“I have no idea.” Steve’s heart ached at the crestfallen face of Winnie and not wanting it to last any longer, he pulled out his phone. “I’ll ask.”

She squealed and ran past her painting equipment, rushing to the balcony and leaning so far forward Steve was worried he’d have to jump and save her. He quickly sent off a message to Nat and they only had to wait a few seconds before a response came through.

 **Steve Rogers:** _What's your favourite colour?_

 **Nat Romanoff:** _Why._

 **Steve Rogers:** _Answer the question._

 **Nat Romanoff:** _Yellow._

He grinned, surprised. He looked up to Winnie and told her it was yellow. She gasped in surprise too.

“Why is it yellow?”

**Steve Rogers:** _Why is it yellow?_

**Nat Romanoff:** _Because it forces me to be happy._

Steve swallowed at the very depressing reasoning behind the choice. He did suppose it went against the red and black and grey of their jobs. Blood red and sunshine yellow had nothing in common.

“Because it makes her happy.”

Winnie’s smile was so bright and Steve’s fingers twitched again, wanting to draw that smile with a sunshine yellow background to give to Nat. Winnie was jumping up and down in excitement when Steve got another message.

**Nat Romanoff:** _Stop with the random personal questions asshole. Go fuck your hot neighbour or something._

Steve’s face and neck started to heat up at Nat’s message. He quickly turned off his phone and put it back in his pocket to turn to Winnie. He opened his mouth, about to ask if Winnie had another question about Black Widow when a loud smash came from inside her apartment, followed by a loud “FUCK!”. Steve was immediately on high alert, trying to listen to what could have happened because that was most definitely Bucky yelling.

Winnie’s eyes widened and she spun around to stick her head into the apartment. Steve heard her yell “Daddy!” and well that’s all he needed to confirm his panic. Steve, a certified Idiot, back up the edge of his balcony, took a deep breath and sprinted the very short distance of his balcony, leapt over the railing of his own, soared through the air and landed in a low crouch on Winnie’s balcony, only just missing her painting. Winnie spun around so fast that she nearly fell over herself, but Steve gently moved her away from the balcony door so he could go into the apartment. 

He stepped into an apartment that was exactly like his but also completely different, and his vision focused on Bucky squatting, leaning down with his one hand trying to pick up pieces of a bowl smashed on the ground.

 _Oh,_ Steve thought, _no intruders, no assassins, no aliens. Bucky just dropped a bowl._

Steve felt his heart and body relax a little until he noticed that Bucky’s hand was bleeding.

“Shit, you’re bleeding.” He reached down without thinking to take Bucky’s hand.

Bucky’s head shot up in surprise, only just noticing Steve’s presence. “Fuck!” he cursed, standing up too fast and hitting his head on the kitchen island. “Fuck!” he cursed again, going to rub the back of his hand before catching sight of the blood on his hand and thinking better of it.

Steve straightened up, guilt pooling in his stomach. He raised his hands in peace. “Jesus, I am so sorry. I heard a crash and thought the worse and jumped over-”

“You jumped from your balcony to ours because you heard a crash?” Bucky asked bewildered, his injured hand hanging limp against his side.

Steve’s eyes flickered to it nervously before meeting Bucky’s eyes again. Was it possible for someone's eyes to become so much more attractive in a week and a half? “Yes?”

“Oh my god,” Steve’s lips flickered in amusement at Bucky exasperated tone. “Just like me to get the next-door neighbour to jump balconies for no reason.”

“Uh,” Steve pointed to Bucky’s hand. “Not exactly. You’re bleeding.”

Bucky held out his hand in front of him, a smile taking over his face. Steve’s face scrunched into confusion as butterflies swarmed in his stomach. He felt like he might choke on them. “So I am.”

Winnie shot out then, from behind Steve, to gingerly take Bucky’s hand in her own. Steve had completely forgotten she was in the apartment. Her hands were clean from blue paint.

Winnie gasped softly, both men’s attention on her with soft gazes. “Daddy, you’re hurt.”

“I’m okay, Wins.” He ducked down to place a quick kiss on the top of her head.

Steve was about to apologise again and then excuse himself to walk out the front door like a normal fucking person when Winnie spun around and locked her steely gaze on Steve.

“You know Black Widow.” It was a statement, but Steve felt himself nodding. “You would know how to fix my dad then, wouldn’t you?”

If Winnie wasn’t a little girl or wasn’t in the room, Steve would have made a joke about how he had once had to remove a bullet from Clint’s thigh during a high-speed chase in Peru and then stitch him up whilst Wanda drove from the brigade of Hydra agents following them, so yes, he could fix a small cut on Bucky’s hand. He refrained from making such a joke. Instead, he nodded and said, “Yes.”

Winnie nodded, satisfied, and stepped back. Bucky was shaking his head. “No, Steve. I’ll be fine, really. You can go back to your dinner.”

Steve’s mouth opened into a little ‘o’. “I didn’t even realise it was dinner time so I’ve got nothing to go back too.” Steve shrugged, a small smile taking over his face. “Plus dinner would just be take-out again, just like it’s been since I moved in.”

Bucky’s eyebrows scrunched together as his eyes did a once over of Steve’s body. Steve shifted uncomfortably. “You’ve been living off of take out?”

He didn’t particularly want to explain why because he would then have to go into detail about how yes, Steve could cook but no, he didn’t want to because that would be one step closer to finding himself and Steve was a master procrastinator. So instead, he smiled bashfully and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yes?”

“Steve!” Winnie shouted, impatient. “Fix my dad, please!” 

Both men’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at her tone and command, but they both immediately stood to attention and carried out her orders. Steve asked where their first-aid kit was, and after retrieving it from the cupboard in the bathroom, he moved Bucky to sit on a kitchen stool. Winnie watched attentively as Steve cleaned the wound, disinfected it and bandaged it up, explaining it as he went so she could learn something. The wound wasn’t deep, only needing a large bandaid. 

Steve wrapped it in a bandage though, because the bandaid was sure to move and come off as Bucky moved his hand. After all, it was stuck on such an awkward part of Bucky’s palm. He’d be able to remove them tomorrow morning. Bucky was quiet, hissing when it particularly hurt. Steve could feel Bucky’s eyes on him sometimes though, and he fought desperately to keep a blush from his cheeks and ears. 

It didn’t help that Bucky looked as beautiful as he did. He was in grey sweatpants and a navy hoodie that hugged all the right places perfectly. The hoodie’s left sleeve was pinned up to stop it from moving and annoying Bucky. His hair was just as short and poofy as it was last week. Just how Steve remembered it. And his hands were so soft. Steve, even as he scolded himself for being weird and creepy because Jesus Christ, Bucky is just his neighbour, wanted to hold Bucky’s hand forever.

“All done!” Steve stepped away from Bucky with a smile on his face, needing a little air because Bucky smelt so good that it was both intoxicating and overwhelming. 

Winnie inspected the bandaging with careful hands. Bucky watched her with amusement, his eyes flickering from Steve back to Winnie.

“Happy, sweetie?”

Winnie hummed, gently placed a kiss on her dad’s palm and nodded, clearly satisfied with her and Steve’s teamwork in fixing Bucky. 

Bucky looked up at Steve then, who smiled nervously back. “Thank you, Steve.”

Steve waved away the praise. “No, no, it’s okay.”

“Really. We appreciate it.”

“Uh, you’re welcome then.” There were a few moments of silence, where Steve was looking at Bucky and Bucky was looking back at Steve with Winnie standing in the middle blinking at the silence.

“I should- I should probably go.” Steve pointed awkwardly to the door and started to move towards the front door when Bucky abruptly stood up from his chair and stood in Steve’s way.

“No!” Bucky’s eyes widened at his own words before he closed his eyes and opened them again. “I mean, no. Stay. For dinner. That I cooked. Now. Spaghetti?” 

Fuck, that was so adorable. Steve could feel his insides turn to complete mush at Bucky’s awkward stumbling. Trying to ease the panic that was showing on Bucky’s face, Steve smiled. “Are you inviting me to stay for dinner which you cooked, is ready now, and is also spaghetti?”

Bucky’s shoulders slumped, tensions easing off of him. “Yes. I was just trying to serve it when I got distracted and dropped the bowl.” Steve nodded his head in understanding. “And I figured since you haven’t started making your dinner and the fact you’ve been living off of take out for the past week, which isn’t healthy at all but totally relatable, you’d appreciate a home-cooked meal, but of course you don’t have to, is this weird? It is-”

“Buck,” _How did Steve’s hand end up on Bucky’s shoulder and did Steve just give Bucky a nickname?!_ “I would love to stay for dinner.”

Bucky nodded his head. “Cool. Yeah, that’s cool.”

Winnie jumped in between them, grabbing Steve’s hand and yanking on it, taking him by surprise and pulling him down to her eye level. The blue paint had dried on her cheek and Steve felt himself smiling at her unconsciously at the cuteness of it all. 

"Help me set the table, Steve!"

"Please." Bucky scolded her, reminding Winnie of her manners, from where he had bent down to pick up the piece of the bowl still scattered on the floor.

"I'll help." Steve shifted, taking the largest pieces and moving to put them in the bin at the end of the kitchen bench.

"Thanks," Bucky muttered. He looked up to Winnie, probably about to ask her to set the table by herself when his eyes caught on the blue paint smeared across her cheek. He rolled his eyes at her and guided her over to the sink in the middle of the kitchen island. "What did you do to yourself, Winnie?"

"Blue paint!"

Bucky chuckled, and got a cloth from a drawer and with the help from his daughter, turned the tap on and wet it. He started to lightly dab at her cheek, getting the blue paint off her face. Steve continued to pick up the pieces of the bowl, and after direction from Bucky, he found a broom and dustpan too. 

“I’m a little confused,” Bucky said, using a dry tea towel to wipe any moisture from his daughters face as she wiggled and squirmed away from him. “How exactly did you get onto my balcony?”

Steve was putting the remaining of the smashed pieces into the bin. “I jumped across.”

“Steve and I were talking about Black Widow,” Winnie gushed. She had managed to get away from her dad and was now getting out three new bowls. “He saw me painting and told me that the cookies were so good I must have magical powers!”

Steve took a bowl from Winnie and used the ladle that Bucky gave him to heap some pasta and sauce into the bowl. “Wow!” Bucky said to his daughter, and then to Steve quietly, “Or we used Grandma Freddie Barnes’ recipe.”

Steve squinted curiously as he and Bucky exchanged another bowl. “I hope to God that weed was not an ingredient in that recipe.”

“What?” Bucky quirked an eyebrow. “Steve Rogers isn’t allowed to get high?”

“Steve Rogers _can’t_ get high.” 

Bucky barked out a laugh which made Steve laugh too. With the help of Winnie, the three of them managed to get all three bowls on the table with a glass of water and a set of cutlery each. Winnie dutifully walked around the table and sprinkled cheese on top of everyone’s spaghetti.

As she did so, Steve allowed himself to take stock of his surroundings a little better. The Barnes’ apartment was exactly the same as his in layout and space, only flipped. It was different, however, in the fact that Steve’s apartment consisted of a couch, a coffee table and a mattress on the floor. 

Under Bucky’s couch was a plush grey rug, and on the couch were comfortable looking pillows in varying shades of blue. A TV was placed on the wall, with a small coffee table beneath it. Their dining table, a medium-sized dark wood table in the shape of a circle, was in the perfect spot to face the kitchen but also get a view from the high windows in the corner of the open living space. 

Steve felt himself relax in the space. Little pieces of their lives, Winnie’s shoes by the couch and Bucky’s laptop on the kitchen island, made the place feel warm and used. There were some children's books sitting on the coffee table, a hairbrush and some hair accessories. 

It was such a contrast to Steve’s cold and bare apartment it almost made him want to cry. This was a home. Just like the way the Compound had been, and the Tower before that, and his small apartment in Brooklyn with his mother before that. Steve could breathe in the love and feel it in his lungs. He desperately hoped some would stay and he could release it in his apartment.

His eyes were lingering on the bookshelf next to the TV, reading the many titles of fiction and nonfiction alike. Winnie was just sitting down in her own chair after completing her cheese duties when Bucky noticed him looking.

“Do you read a lot?”

Steve’s head whipped around to see that Bucky was looking at him intently, gathering some spaghetti onto his fork. He turned his attention to his own pasta before answering.

“No, sadly. Didn’t really have time. Always moving from one job to the next.”

Bucky nodded in understanding, wiping a dribble of pasta sauce from Winnie’s chin then sucking it off his finger. Steve cleared his throat and tried to not focus on the action and focus more on Bucky’s face and words.

“Guess the world doesn’t stop for some leisure reading, does it?” Bucky smirked.

Steve chuckled, shaking his head. “No. I guess it doesn’t.”

Winnie swallowed her large mouthful of pasta and set her eyes on Steve. With the table being circular, it was easy for the three of them to see each other and talk without having to move their eyes too much. “Does Black Widow read?”

Steve hummed, taking another forkful of pasta as Bucky sighed. “I’ve seen her read.”

Winnie opened her mouth to ask a follow-up question before Bucky jumped in. “No Black Widow questions at the dinner table, please, missy.”

Winnie’s eyes widened and Steve watched in amusement and she spun to face her dad fully, large puppy dog eyes melting anything within distance. “Why?” She whined, dragging the word out.

If Steve didn’t catch the way that Bucky’s lips twitched into a smile before disappearing, he would have been shocked at the lack of reaction to Winnie’s puppy dog eyes. “Because it’s rude and you have all the time to ask Steve questions, so why do it now?”

Winnie squinted her eyes at her dad’s face, trying to search for cracks in his facade she could break through like a weed does to the pavement. She seemed to determine that she couldn’t find any cracks and had lost the fight, as she slumped in her chair and shoved another mouthful of spaghetti into her mouth. Her cheeks puffed out and both Steve and Bucky couldn’t hold back a chuckle at her dramatics.

They ate in silence for a few moments, but Steve wanted to know more about Bucky. And Winnie. He thought about Natasha’s texts, encouraging him to make a non-Avenger friend. She was right. His non-Avenger friends were a small number. Pepper didn’t really count, she was basically an Avenger at this point. And Sam used to be a non-Avenger friend before he became an Avenger himself too, first as the Falcon and then as Captain America. 

And then there was Carl. The guy who did coffee runs for the Avengers when they were stuck in meetings. Carl knew Steve’s order off by heart so Steve felt he had earned the right to be called a friend. Or maybe Steve was just lacking in friends so much that he had expanded invitations of friendship to anyone and no one had RSVP’d. Except for Carl. And maybe Bucky.

But this was his chance, he guessed. If he could learn more about Bucky and Winnie’s lives, maybe they could find a common ground. Some shared life experience that could cement a friendship between neighbours. 

“You like history?” Steve asked and then internally winced. It wasn’t an odd question, quite the opposite actually. Bucky’s non-fiction collection in his bookshelves were all of historic nature, ranging from biographies to historians books. Steve winced because all he could think about was Clint watching the Bee Movie and always starting conversations for the following weeks with _“You like jazz?”._

Bucky’s eyes flickered up to Steve’s from his bowl in surprise. “Uh, yeah. I’m actually an Associate Professor of History.” 

Steve’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. _Hot, cute, good with kids and is intelligent? Could this guy get any more perfect?_ “Wow. What’s that like?”

“Stressful!” Winnie said loudly. Steve laughed as Bucky blushed. He raised his eyebrows in question to the other man.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s pretty stressful,” Bucky said, defeated. “I’ve got a few classes so there’s lots of content as well as papers and assignments to mark. It gets pretty crazy around finals and peak assignment times. I want my kids to do good, so I gotta put in the effort, you know?” 

Steve’s face softened at Bucky’s tone. He clearly cared so much about the kids he taught and his work. He was passionate about it. Steve wished he could say the same. Don’t get him wrong, he knew what an important job he had with the Avengers and he would always drop everything to help someone else, but he had just become so unaffected with the work he did, it had begun to lose its meaning. Therefore, his passion to raid Hydra bases had begun to dwindle. 

“What period of history?” Steve asked instead of blurting out his internal struggles with self-identity and passion.

“Uh,” Bucky smiled nervously at Steve. “Twentieth-century history, in fact.”

Steve huffed, looking down at his pasta before looking back to Bucky to try and rid any negative emotions from his face. “Guess you know a little about me, then.”

Bucky shrugged, a little bashfully. “Just a little.”

Steve knew he was lying because he had been told many times by hundreds of people that his actions had changed the course of the last century. Steve was self-aware enough that he had actually done that but humble enough not to brag about it or bring it up at all really. He was extremely glad that Bucky hadn’t bombarded him with questions about his early life or the war, even though he was a history professor and Steve must have seemed like a golden egg to his history brain. 

“Why?” Winnie asked, turning her head from Bucky to Steve and back to Bucky in confusion. “Who is he?”

Steve’s head cocked to the side on its own violation, visibly showing his confusion. Without an egotistical thought in his brain, Steve would have thought that Winnie would have recognised him. He wasn’t exactly on the news every single day, but he was on it at least twice a week when he had the mantle and subjected to rumours and pictures of him being plastered all over magazines and social media. And the fact that Winnie was obsessed with Natasha, one of Steve’s closest friends and colleagues, left Steve feeling a little confused that Winnie hadn’t put the puzzle pieces together.

“Wins, you know the Avengers?” Winnie shot her dad a ‘duh’ look that Steve knew Bucky would have fun with when Winnie was a teenager. “Steve was an Avenger. Captain America, actually. And you know how he was born in 1918? That means I’ve studied him at school with my kids.”

Winnie had followed Bucky’s explanation with curious eyes and her lips pressed together in a firm line. Steve braced himself for a scream of amazement or a thousand questions, but once Bucky was finished, Winnie turned to Steve with an eyebrow raised. “You’re Captain America?”

Steve nodded.

“You don’t look like Captain America.”

Steve could see Bucky’s eyes widen in shock but Steve only smiled at her. “That’s 'cause I’m not really Captain America. Last month I passed the shield to my best friend, Sam. He’s Captain America now.”

She gave him a once over and shook her head. “I don’t believe you. You’re not Captain America.”

Steve huffed and his amusement grew as Bucky clenched the fork in his hand and stared at his daughter. “I’ve literally got a whole area of study dedicated to Steve Rogers as Captain America, Winnie. I think I know what I’m talking about.”

Winnie rolled her eyes and Steve couldn’t focus on the part where Bucky had studied him in detail, distracted by the mere fact that they were having an argument about this. “Yeah but you’re not an Avenger fan, _Dad_. I have more knowledge than you.”

Bucky choked on air. “I went to _college_. I have a _PhD._ ”

“I went to the Avengers Expo last year.”

Bucky whirled around to Steve who was desperately trying to stop the smile from overtaking his face. “She literally just used an argument against herself. You were Captain America last year. _There would have been pictures of you there._ ”

Winnie rolled her eyes again and Steve felt the ache in his heart to remain in this little girl's life forever. He needed to see her as a teenager. “Fine. Steve, tell us something only you would know about back in the old days.”

Bucky somehow managed to roll his eyes and look horrified at Winnie’s bluntness at the same time. “1918, Wins.”

“Tell us something only you would know about 1918.”

Steve scratched the back of his neck, looking from one Barnes to the other. “If it’s something only I know, then I could lie about it and you still wouldn’t know.”

“Well, if you’re Captain America you wouldn’t lie.” This time Steve was on the receiving end of Winnie’s ‘duh’ look.

Steve thought for a moment then grinned, leaning down to whisper. Both Barnes’ leant forward too, so they were in their only little bubble. The three of them. “Back in the old days, 1918 to be specific, there were unicorns in Queens.”

Bucky smirked as Winnie’s eyes widened. “Really?” She gasped.

“Oh, yeah.” Steve nodded, leaning back into his chair. “It was a real problem. They ate everyone's food, chased kids down the street. They pooped everywhere, sunshine. _Everywhere._ ” He leant towards only her this time. “And you wanna know the worst part?” She nodded eagerly. “Their poo was filled with rainbow glitter. The streets were flooded with it.” 

Winnie’s face glowed as she turned to her dad. “Is that true, Daddy?”

“No, he’s lying.” Winnie gasped, turning in shock to face Steve. “The unicorn epidemic of 1918 was in _Brooklyn,_ not Queens.”

Winnie rolled her eyes. “He just lied. That means he’s not Captain America!”

Steve held up his hands in a ‘watcha gonna do’ gesture. “You caught us.”

“Could be an NYPD detective at this rate,” Bucky nodded towards her shirt and then Steve was the recipient of a very long-winded, multi-part story with unrelated facts thrown in, about Winnie’s shirt and how it’s just like her favourite characters Rosa Diaz’s uniform from her dad's favourite show, Brooklyn Nine-Nine. 

When that was done, Steve asked Winnie about her day. He had nearly finished his bowl of pasta and had all of his glass of water by the time she had finished recounting her day. He was extremely shocked that Ollie had retaliated at Kellie for pushing his colouring pencils off his desk by sticking gum in her hair. Both Winnie and Steve agreed that Kelli would turn up to school tomorrow with a shorter haircut. 

As Steve got up to refill their glasses and get himself another bowl of pasta, Bucky told him about his day. They had moved onto the rise of feminism in one of his classes, and the kids were taking it really well. Bucky expressed his passion for the subject with moving his one hand in large gestures, with a big smile on his face. Steve would honestly sit here and listen to Bucky recount the years 1918-1945, even though he had lived them, just to see Bucky so happy and alive.

The conversation then went to how Steve days went, and honestly, a pigeons day would be more exciting then Steve’s.

“I, uh, binged watched the entire third season of Stranger Things.”

Bucky nodded as if this was normal behaviour for a human being and not a depressing story of a person who has no idea what the fuck they should be doing. “Very good show. What do you think you’ll watch next?”

Steve took the last mouthful of spaghetti from his bowl. “Clint suggested Glee.”

Bucky snorted and ate his last mouthful of pasta too. “Have fun with that one.”

“Not a good show?’

Bucky shrugged. “It is. Just very dramatic and bat shit crazy. They can sing though.”

“Well,” Steve drawled. “We wouldn’t want a musical show where they can’t sing, would we?”

Bucky rolled his eyes and stood up from the table, taking his and Steve’s bowls to the sink. Winnie was still eating her food, a result of all the talking she did.

Bucky was sitting back down in his chair when Steve realised he had no idea what the fuck he was going to do now. He had nothing to keep his hand occupied, which left him feeling awkward and exposed. They had talked about their days and their jobs. What else was there to talk about? Bucky’s thoughts on today’s political spectrum or the prices of fish? Steve felt solid in the political talk but not the fish. And neither seemed good to bring up in case they differed in opinions. _God,_ Steve thought, _Bucky better not be a fucking Nazi._

“So,” Bucky said. Steve left out a small breath in relief. Good. Bucky was going to carry the conversation. “If you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing here?”

“You dropped a bowl and I jumped from my balcony to yours to make sure you were okay.”

Bucky threw back his head and laughed. Steve followed the movement with his eyes, amused, before dimming a little once Bucky turned his serious face back on. 

“No, you punk. What are you doing in Brooklyn? Thought you lived at that fancy new Compound?”

Steve sighed. Maybe he should have brought up the fish prices. “Well, I retired,” Bucky gave him a ‘duh’ look that looked very much like Winnie’s. Must run in the family then. “And I guess I needed a little bit of space. Don’t get me wrong. I love the Avengers. They’re my family. But-”

“Superhumans, and super geniuses, and super assassins can be a little too much?”

Steve snorted. “Uh, yeah. That’s exactly right.” There was a beat of silence, and it was as if Bucky knew that there was more to it so he kept quiet to give Steve the space to talk if he needed to. Steve needed to, he _wanted_ to, but Winnie stole the moment from right underneath him.

“I want ice cream, please!”

Bucky huffed, taking her finished bowl and putting in the sink with the other bowls. “It’s a school night, Wins. You know the rules.”

Winnie rolled her eyes. “Ice cream is a treat.” She said in a monotonous tone as if she repeats this frequently, dragging her body down in her seat. “That’s why we have it on weekends.”

“Good,” Bucky patted her on the head. “Now, how about you go put your pyjamas on and maybe Steve would like to stay for a movie?”

Both Barnes’ turned to look at Steve, big piercing blue-grey eyes that seemed to reach into his soul and tug and tug until they managed to wrestle him away from the darkness that seemed to overwhelm him lately. He was so fucked.

“Are you sure?” Steve looked around the apartment to avoid their eyes. “I don’t want to impose.”

“What does impose mean?” Winnie asked.

Bucky placed his hand on her head again, smiling as he caught Steve’s eyes. “Exactly the opposite to which Steve is doing.”

Winnie gave Steve a look that he roughly translated to _“my dad is crazy”._ Steve smiled at her in agreement.

“Uh, okay. Sure.”

Scarily, both Barnes’ whispered “cool” at the same time. Bucky responded to Winnie’s giggle by pushing her towards the hallway that led to the bedrooms and bathrooms. 

Whilst Winnie got changed into her pyjamas, Bucky leant against the kitchen bench as Steve rinsed the dishes and placed them into the dishwasher.

“Thank you, Bucky,” Steve said, turning around and resting against the kitchen island to face Bucky. “Dinner was delicious and both you and Winnie have been so kind to me. I really appreciate it.”

Bucky regarded him for a moment. “People aren’t that particularly nice to you, are they?”

Steve shrugged, feeling unprepared for the heaviness of the conversation. “Depends on the day. Captain America is an awesome punching bag, I hear. Until a shield knocks you off your feet.”

Bucky barked out a laugh, shaking his head. Silence filled the room, but it wasn’t entirely uncomfortable. They were left alone, to their thoughts. Steve’s eye filtered to the fridge, where paintings and tests had been hung up with magnets. One particular drawing caught Steve’s attention. It was drawn by Winnie, who had some talent for a little girl. He could clearly make out two people. One was her, in a yellow dress and brown pigtails, and the other was a man with a tie and only one arm. Bucky. The drawing was titled ‘ _My Family <3’ _in block letters down the bottom.

Steve scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion. Was it only the two of them? Where was Winnie’s mother? Steve’s eyes quickly scanned the room and took stock of ten photographs, hung on the walls or sitting in frames on tables. They contained various pictures of either Winnie, Bucky or another woman who looked far too much like a Barnes relative for her to be Winnie’s mother. 

Steve decided to put some of the spy skills Nat had taught him to the test. “Are you sure you’re okay with me staying for a movie? I really don’t want to impose on a school night, especially when Winnie’s mother gets home-”

Bucky held up his hand, silencing Steve. He was glad to see that the blood flow had stopped and none had seeped onto the white bandage. “No, no. Winnie’s mother won’t be coming home.” At Steve’s confused look Bucky continued. “She’s not really in the picture anymore. I’m a single dad.”

Steve’s mind did not focus on the part about Winnie not really having a mother but zeroed in on the _single single single_ part. Now he just needed to find out whether Bucky was into men.

“Oh,”

“Yeah, I’m actually-”

But whatever Bucky had been about to say was interrupted by Winnie sliding on her socks from the hallway and nearly crashing into the couch. “Movie time!”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “This is exactly why we don’t have ice cream on school nights. You’re already hyper.”

Winnie rolled her eyes right back at her dad, and whatever Bucky had been about to tell Steve fell through the cracks as both men sat down on the couch, either side of Winnie. Bucky flipped through a streaming service, looking for a movie as Winnie got comfortable. 

Steve felt awkward. It was a comfy couch, big enough for the three of them. But how does he sit? Cross his legs, lean back, snuggle? Steve cursed his terrible social skills, something that he had had since he was a kid. Even Captain America couldn’t fix this problem. Winnie Barnes, however, seemed to be able to fix this problem that historians and scientists have been puzzling over for the past decade. 

She sighed, apparently finding sitting like a normal person not comfortable, turned around and planted her head on Bucky’s thigh and her feet in Steve’s lap. Steve’s eyes widened in surprise, his hands suspended in the air as he looked at the little feet with socks on them, resting in his lap. He heard Bucky chuckle from beside him and Steve turned to find him looking at him with amusement, a hand carding through Winnie’s hair. 

Steve huffed, a blush rising to his cheeks. He tentatively placed his hands on Winnie’s calves and when she didn’t react badly, he felt the tension leave his shoulders. Bucky flashed him a quick smile before pressing play on the movie he had brought up. 

Throughout the movie, Steve relaxed. Winnie wiggled a little, moving her feet and at one point kicked Steve hard in the ribs. After laughing his face off, Bucky scolded her and they returned to the movie, but hearing Bucky laugh like that lessened the pain in his ribs. The movie was great, but the domestic, safe atmosphere the three of them resided in washed away Steve’s mid-life crisis, was it a mid-life crisis if he was over one hundred years old? and when he felt the movie ending, the characters character arcs coming full circle and getting their happy ending, Steve wished that he didn’t have to go. He didn’t want to return to his struggles, knowing that this happiness and warmth was happening right next door. 

The movie ended and Bucky patted Winnie on the head. “Alright, Wins. Bedtime.”

Winnie groaned, removing her feet from Steve’s lap as she curled into a ball. “No.” She whined, dragging the word out.

“No way, you pain in my neck.” Steve watched with a smile as Bucky slipped his arm around her middle, picking her up so she hung by his side. He pointed to the clock on the oven. “You see those red numbers over there. It says 7:42. Do you know what that means?”

Winnie poked her head out and looked at the clock before turning her head to give her dad a ‘duh’ look. Steve made the decision that that was his favourite facial expression he had ever seen on someone. “It means it’s 7:42.”’

Bucky wiggled her, Winnie’s giggles filling the room. “You smartass. It means it’s twelve minutes past your bedtime.”

Winnie went limp in Bucky’s arm and he grunted at the change. “Come on. Brush your teeth and you can ask Steve one more question about Black Widow.”

Winnie jumped at that, leaping out of Bucky’s arms and basically bolting around the couch to the bathroom.

Both men watched her for a moment before turning to look at each other. Bucky rolled his eyes, flopping down on the couch to sit next to Steve. He rubbed the tension from his forehead. “That kid, I swear to god.”

Steve turned his body to face Bucky better, but his eyes stayed on the bathroom door where he could hear Winnie humming as she brushed her teeth. “She’s really cute.”

“Yeah, she gets that from her dad,” Bucky smirked and Steve couldn’t find it himself to deny that fact. “Also gets her stubbornness from me too. She can be a little shit sometimes.”

Steve laughed, eyes back to Bucky to find him looking at Steve with a smile. Steve’s cheeks reddened under his gaze. “Does she get that from you too?”

Bucky shrugged. “Maybe.”

Steve laughed, knowing full well that she got it from him. Winnie raced back out from the bathroom, grinning wide and showing her clean teeth. “Done!”

“Alright. One question.”

Steve turned to Winnie, who was watching him with a thoughtful expression. “You didn’t know her favourite colour so I don’t know how you would know this.”

Bucky snorted but Steve raised his eyebrows. He loved a challenge. “Try me, Barnes.”

“What’s her favourite movie?”

Steve grinned because _fuck yes_ , he knew the answer to this one. In the back of his brain, he wondered why he was so happy to have this piece of information, but maybe it was because he knew one of his best friends and he knew it would make Winnie happy.

“Jokes on you, Winnie. I know the answer.” He waited for a beat to draw out the suspense and was rewarded with Winnie’s face growing impatient as she took a step closer to him. “Matilda.”

Winnie gasped. “Really?”

“Yeah. She watches it all the time.”

Winnie muttered oh my god as Bucky got up off the couch, placing his hand on her back and started to guide her towards her bedroom down the hallway behind the couch. “Say goodnight and thank you to Steve, Winnie.”

Winnie darted away from her dad and jumped up at Steve, planting a kiss on one cheek, and then another. She pulled back, smiling at him. “Goodnight and thank you, Steve.”

Steve was melting. Fuck, yep. He was melting. He quickly kissed Winnie on the forehead, grinning at her in return. “Night, sunshine.”

Satisfied, she jumped back down from the couch and padded off to her bedroom. Bucky’s face had softened considerably as he watched the exchange and he gave Steve a small smile. “Wait here. Make yourself comfortable.”

Steve did what he was told and relaxed into the couch, listening to the sounds of Winnie getting into bed. He stopped listening once he heard Winnie ask if he would be back for dinner anytime soon, both wanting and not wanting to hear Bucky’s reply but his moral code won and he decided it was too much an invasion of privacy to keep listening. 

After a minute or so, Bucky walked back into the kitchen.

“Would you like coffee or tea? Hot chocolate?”

Steve spun around on the couch to face Bucky, smiling. “Hot chocolate sounds good, thank you.”

Bucky nodded and got to work making two hot chocolates. “Sorry about Winnie. She can be a bit enthusiastic and in your face.”

“No, don’t apologise. She’s awesome. I think I’ll kidnap her and take her home.”

“Sure. You’ll give her back as soon as the novelty of a new person wears off.” 

Steve watched happily as Bucky worked in the kitchen. He looked so freaking cute. “Really? What’s the worst she’s done?”

Bucky’s face lit up. “Oh, buddy. I have a million stories of Winifred Rebecca Barnes not getting her way.”

Steve grinned back at him and accepted his hot chocolate with a quiet thank you. Bucky sat down on the couch, closer than before. Steve tried not to blush, but he failed. “She’s feisty.”

“Yes. In all of her six-year-old glory.”

Steve took a sip of his hot chocolate, the boiling liquid warming him up from the inside out. “She’s alright, really. I have a lot of experience with kids in my face.”

“Kissed a lot of babies, have you, Steve?”

Steve shrugged, telling Bucky about the time he was in a supermarket and a mother had shoved her baby into his face, wanting him to kiss it on the forehead. Steve had done it reluctantly, and the mother had taken a series of photos. He had handed the baby back to her and turned around to find a very long line of people, a lot of them with kids, wanting the exact same thing. 

Bucky laughed at his story, shaking his head before taking a sip of his drink. “You’re something else, Steve.”

And when Bucky looked at him, Steve felt seen. He was talking to _him,_ not Captain America. He was laughing at Steve’s awkward encounter and fumbling with babies, looking at Steve without the crazy glint in his eyes a lot of people looked at him with these days. 

“You’re not a Nazi, are you?” He blurted out, going red in the face as the smile froze on Bucky’s face. Mortification rose in his throat as he tried to recover from his brain's momentary lapse in sanity. “Jeez, I am so sorry-”

“Where the hell did that come from?” Bucky asked, his smile growing as he watched Steve’s red face with amusement. “Do I look like a Nazi?”

“No!” Steve said, maybe a little too quickly. “I-I guess my brain is scrambling for something to ruin the night? Nazi’s usually ruin my night.”

A crease formed in between Bucky eyebrows in sympathy. “Ruin the night?”

Steve avoided eye contact and stared straight at the TV, still paused on the credits of the movie. “I’m just having a good time, is all. Good times are usually interrupted in my life and line of work. Just wanted to eliminate the possibility of my neighbour being a Nazi.”

“Well,” Bucky smirked. “I am most definitely not a Nazi.”

Steve squinted at him. “That’s what a Nazi would say.”

Bucky laughed. “Nah, I’m pretty sure Nazi’s are vocal about their opinions.”

Steve huffed, leaning back into the couch. “Tell me about it.”

Bucky chuckled again and they both took a sip of their drinks as silence washed over them. Steve minds ran from Nazi’s to Natasha and a thought struck him.

“This may be weird,” Steve started and he could see Bucky seizing him up for what he could possibly say next. “But I would really appreciate it if you could keep the fact I’m living here a secret. My friends are the only people who know my location, as well as the government. I don’t exactly want Nazi’s to be finding out that Captain America lives here. There’d be a shit storm.”

Bucky was watching him for a moment but then his lips twitched. “There goes my good gossip that I was gonna tell all my Nazi friends.”

Steve’s lips twitched too. “Damn, sorry about that.”

“Why’d you pick this building?’ Bucky asked.

Steve regarded him for a second before deciding to tell him the truth. “Closet apartment building with good escape routes and coverage to my childhood home.”

Bucky hummed. “It’s just a few streets over, isn’t it?”

Steve nodded.

“Have you gone to check it out since you got out of the ice?”

“Once,” Steve sighed. “Just before Ultron, actually. I was, uh, a bit terrified to go back before then. All I kept thinking was that it would have changed so much, that I wouldn’t recognise it.”

“Has it changed?”

“Not much,” Steve smiled. “New coat of paint. Same door, same brick. I could almost see my Ma walking home from her shift at the hospital.”

“You must miss her.”

“It’s gotten better. Sometimes I would do anything just for a hug from her though.” Steve cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the emotions that would have rendered him a blubbering mess on the ground. Bucky’s soft, melodic voice was just so easy to trust. Steve was ready to dump every single one of his secrets in this man’s lap as soon as he asked with his soft voice and blue eyes. “Anyhow, what about your Ma?”

Bucky cracked a grin, happy for the change in the subject if it made Steve comfortable. “Winnie’s namesake actually. Both Winifred Barnes’ in my life force me to be on my tiptoes every single day of my life. They’re both sarcastic and I could argue with both for hours if I had the time.”

Steve huffed. “Yeah, well, I don’t see how you could have won against Winnie today, Buck. Your PhD is nothing compared to the Avengers Expo.”

Bucky nearly choked on his hot chocolate. After he managed to swallow he glared at Steve. “Little shit.”

“Who?” Steve asked. “Me or Winnie?”

“Both,” A beat. “But mainly you.”

Steve laughed in surprise, Bucky following suit. The rest of the night carried on like that, stories swapped between them with sarcastic comments and digs thrown in there for good measure. Bucky had to make them another hot chocolate too, neither willing to give up the warmth they received from each other and the drink. 

Steve enjoyed himself so much he lost track of time. He loved listening to stories about Winnie, his opinion of stupid things like pineapple on pizza, and the ins and outs of his job. Steve lost himself in the cosy apartment, laughing and telling Bucky things that no one outside of the Avengers knew. Steve felt like _Steve_ , for the first time in a very long time. Bucky made him smile. He almost hated himself for recklessly checking the time and cursing as he realised it was past eleven pm. 

“Oh, shit,” Bucky said, his eyebrows rising in surprise too. “Jeez, we lost track of time, didn’t we?”

“Time flies when you’re having fun.” Steve stood, his hands rising to the ear to stretch out his muscles. 

When he turned to Bucky, Bucky’s eyes flickered from Steve’ stomach to his face, Bucky’s cheeks turning a little red. “Yeah, yeah, it does.” He murmured.

Steve felt his face flush too, glad that Bucky had been enjoying himself as much as Steve had been.

“Sorry for keeping you so long.” Steve handed Bucky his mug, who placed it in the sink.

“No, don’t apologise. It was my pleasure.”

They both walked to the door, which Steve opened. He hesitated for a moment on the other side of the door, his eyes flickering to his closed door to his apartment. He didn’t want to go back.

“Thank-”

“Buck-”

They both stopped, chuckling as they looked at each other. 

“You go first,” Bucky said.

“Thank you. For dinner. And the movie. I had heaps of fun.”

Bucky grinned. Steve nearly fainted. “Well, it was the least I could do. Thanks for jumping balconies to check up on me and then fix my hand.”

Steve shrugged. “All good.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Thank you, Steve.” He hesitated for a moment before stepping back into the apartment. “Goodnight.”

“Night, Buck.”

And then they both smiled sweetly at each other before Bucky closed the door and Steve stood there for a couple of minutes smiling like an idiot.

Steve went back to his cold apartment, got into his pyjamas and laid awake for the next few hours, replaying the night in his head. He lingered on the moments of Bucky’s laughter and Winnie’s giggles. When the three of them laughed at the movie, Winnie spread on top of them like a warm blanket. God, Steve wished he could have that every night.

He thought of Bucky’s smile when he finally drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! some serotonin in the form of kudos and comments please?


	3. The sun keeps shining upon you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No, I still prefer my Brooklyn boys.” And then he winked at Steve.
> 
> Steve died. He’d had multiple close cases over his very long life but none of that compared to what he felt like right then and there. Bucky was talking about Brooklyn boys. And kissing. And _winked. At Steve._ Heat rose to Steve's cheeks and there was no point in trying to stop it. Steve was a boy. From Brooklyn. He was a Brooklyn boy. Was _Bucky flirting with him?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from The Sunshine Song by Jason Marz
> 
> guys the response to the first two chapters has been positively overwhelming. thank you!! i hope you continue to enjoy this :))

Steve woke to the sound of someone banging at his front door. He groaned at the feeling of reality hitting over him, the good and warm feelings from last night disappearing so quickly Steve didn’t have time to reach and grab onto them with all his strength. Instead, he rolled around on the bed, grabbed whatever pillow he could reach and threw it as hard as he could out of his bedroom door, hoping it would bounce off a wall, open the front door itself and hit whoever was waking him up at some ungodly hour square in the face.

When it didn’t do that, but just landed short of his bedroom door he sighed, shoved his blanket off of him and went to see who was at the door. 

As he passed the pillow, he kicked it. “You’re a pathetic pillow, I hope you know that. My shield is so much better.”

He left the pillow to wallow in its misery and swung open the front door. 

Steve groaned once he saw it was Sam, and not Bucky who his sleep riddled brain had hoped it would be. Sam smirked and put a palm on the door before Steve could close it in his face. Instead, Steve rolled his eyes and moved back into his apartment, Sam following suit. 

Steve started the kettle for his morning tea as Sam sat on the kitchen bench, given as Steve hadn’t gotten around to buying appropriate kitchen stools. 

“Don’t you dare,” Steve warned, knowing what Sam was going to say. 

Sam shrugged, his eyes doing a sweep of Steve’s depressing apartment. “You haven’t unpacked anything and it’s been over a week, Steve.”

Steve, who was known universally for being a little shit, opened a cupboard and produced the one mug he had unpacked. He held it up to Sam as evidence, who scoffed. 

“This is a new chance at a life-“

“-and you have to embrace it with open arms and _try_ , Steve, cause this will make you happier and make us less worried about you jumping into oncoming fire,” Steve said, rolling his eyes. 

Steve watched as sympathy and what he had dubbed as the Counselor Face, washed over Sam. “We just want you to be happy.”

“I know, I know,” The kettle finished behind Steve with a click so he turned around to pour himself a cup of tea. “Now, why the fuck are you here?”

“Thought we could go for a morning jog.”

Steve took a sip of his tea before immediately regretting it as the hot liquid burned his throat. “Why?” He says instead of the _fuck off_ he wanted to say.

“Like we used too.” Sam smiled, the familiar gap in his front teeth soothing some tension from Steve’s shoulders. 

“I don’t think it was a jog. _I_ was running, _you_ were having a nice chat with the snails.”

Sam’s tone was accusing but his face gave away how much he loved their banter. “You’re a dick, Steve Rogers.”

Steve shrugged, finished his tea and put the empty mug in the sink. “Let me get dressed. You go now and get a headstart, Sam. Don’t want you lagging behind.”

Sam barked out a laugh and as Steve walked past, he whacked him on the shoulder. Steve shoved him back and then retreated into his room to get changed for their jog. 

When Steve locked his apartment after they had walked out, he found his gaze darting to Bucky and Winnie’s door. There was no movement yet. It was too early for their morning school routine. Sam caught him looking and raised an eyebrow.

Steve waved him off. “Just the neighbours.”

“Are they nice?” 

Steve nearly scoffed but covered it with a cough instead. “Yeah. Yeah, they’re nice.”

It looked like Sam wanted to ask more questions but held back, knowing from past experience when to pick his battles with one Steve Rogers. 

They went on their jog through Prospect Park, letting the movement of their bodies heat them up in the brisk morning air. By New York standards, the park was still sleepy. They started slow and warmed up before Steve left Sam with a smirk, doing a full lap of their set route before returning to Sam’s side with a shout of _‘on your left!’_. They raced each other for the next part, Steve winning by a long shot. They kept running, enjoying the early morning sun, the mundane activity of their feet hitting the pavement in time, listening to the other breathing heavily. 

Steve, mid-way through their run, realised how much he had missed Sam. They had only shared witty banter since they left his apartment, not concrete discussions about their lives since they last saw each other, but God. Steve missed Sam’s smile and calming presence. He didn’t realise how much of a good friend Sam had truly been until it had been a week without him reminding Steve to eat and get out of bed and live. 

They finished their run, Sam more puffed out than Steve, and found themselves in a small cafe after they had cooled down and stretched. Mixed with no breakfast this morning and a long run, Steve was about to collapse from starvation.

They ordered their usual coffee and Sam got a muffin and a croissant. Steve ordered multiple muffins, croissants and sandwiches and would have kept going if Sam hadn't pushed him on the shoulder and reminded him that he could always come back for more later. 

They found a perfect table to ease their soldier minds and they settled into the comfy seats. They each did a quick sweep of the building, out of habit. Taking stock of the exits, weapons, people, cameras, windows. It took only a second and then they were both focusing on each other.

“I’ve got a joke for you,” Steve said, taking a large chunk of muffin and stuffing it in his face.

Sam raised his eyebrows in question, smirking.

“Two Captain America’s walk into a cafe.”

It was stupid and didn’t make much sense, but Sam spat out his muffin, pieces landing on the table as both his and Steve’s laughter disrupted the calming presence of the cafe. A few people shot them looks but none seemed to recognise them. 

Sam was shaking his head, gathering the pieces of food with a napkin as Steve smirked. “Man, I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too, Sam.” Steve took a sip of his coffee. “How’s the Compound?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Noisy and crazy and everyone misses you. You’ve been texting Nat the most so everyone's driving her crazy trying to get information out of her.”

“She won’t give anything up.”

“I know that. Everyone else seemed to forget that she’s literally a Russian super-spy trained assassin.” 

Sam was looking at Steve, his eyebrows slightly raised and his shoulders back in an open posture. Steve watched as Sam’s eyes traced his face. “But you got something out of her, didn’t you?”

“Maybe,” Sam shrugged. “I was hoping you’d bring it up in conversation before I had to force it out of you.”

Steve hummed, stuffing his mouth full of food to try and seem nonchalant as if his neighbour wasn’t the most gorgeous and sweetest man alive with an adorable sassy six-year-old that made Steve want to drop what little he had left and spend the rest of his life in their company. Sam seemed to be reading his thoughts but didn’t press too hard.

“So, if you haven’t been unpacking or doing whatever retired superheroes are meant to do, what have you been up to?”

“I watched Stranger Things.” 

Sam nodded his head approvingly.

“And all of Riverdale.”

Sam winced.

“And I spent an entire day watching rom coms.”

“Your favourite one?” 

“To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before.”

“Fucking hell, Steve.”

“Ah, excuse you.” Steve pointed a finger at his friend. “You have been one of the major people in my life who has pressured me into catching up on pop culture.”

“I didn’t mean binge watch Netflix all day every day.”

“Yeah, well, Lara Jean and Peter Kavinksy forever.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “So, that’s it? You’ve stayed and hibernated in your apartment when the world is literally yours for the taking.”

Steve shrugged, trying desperately to stop the blush spreading across his face as he thought about Bucky. “Maybe not.”

Sam gasped. “Did you have _sex_?”

Steve jaw dropped as he frantically waved the thought of _that,_ with _Bucky_ , away with his hands. “God, no. Jesus Christ, Sam.”

Sam shrugged. “Well, with you blushing like that and Nat talking about a hot neighbour I can only assume.”

“She said that?” Steve groaned.

“Yeah. Also said that he swung by your place too.”

“He and his daughter gave me welcome to the building cookies.”

Sam raised his eyebrows and sipped his coffee. “But he’s hot?”

Steve blushed even further. “Yes, he’s hot.”

Sam gasped again. “But there’s more!”

“Yes, there’s more.” Steve rolled his eyes. Even though Sam could be overbearing and dramatic at times, Steve secretly loved it. “He’s super nice, the nicest person I have ever met. And sweet. And cute. His name is Bucky Barnes, he’s an Associate Professor of History. Twentieth-century history, Sam! He didn’t freak out once he recognised me though, he just treated me like a normal person even though he told me he had a whole area of study dedicated to me in his course. That man knows everything about me written by historians yet he didn’t ask a single question that he could have used for personal gain.”

“Sounds like an angel.”

“Oh, he is.” Steve agreed, missing the amusement in Sam's eyes. “And he raised a perfect daughter on his own. She’s crazily obsessed with Black Widow and everything Natasha Romanoff but didn’t recognise me and when her dad told me I was Captain America, she told me we were lying! She didn’t give a shit.”

“And how do you know all this?”

Steve blushed, _again._ “I had dinner with them last night. I was trying to read on the balcony when I started talking to Winnie and then I heard a crash and jumped over to their balcony. Bucky had dropped a bowl and cut his hand so I helped clean up and they let me stay for dinner and a movie.”

“And no sex?”

“No! Sam, no, we didn’t have sex.”

“But you totally would if the opportunity arose.”

“Yeah, but it probably wouldn’t. So, if we could please keep talking about Bucky and sex at the same time, that would be peachy.”

“Jeez,” Sam grumbled. “A bit touchy on the Bucky and sex subject. Note taken.”

Steve glared at Sam until he rolled his eyes. “Okay, sorry. No more Bucky and sex talk.”

“Sam!”

“Sorry!”

“He’s just a neighbour. We had fun. Talked about our childhoods and Winnie and his job.”

Sam squinted at him. “Did you talk about Cap much?”

“Not really. Just retirement and what I had been up to. He wasn’t as judgmental about the binging Netflix thing as you were.”

“Wow. Might as well replace me then.”

They smiled at each other for a few moments before a seriousness washed Sam’s face and Steve prepared himself for the wisdom that was about to be bestowed upon him. 

“You should keep talking to him.”

Steve moved onto his sandwich, picking out the tomatoes. “Aren’t you worried he was just being nice to me to get all the juicy details about the years 1918-1945?”

“Yeah, a little. But he seems to make you happy. So does his daughter. What’s life without a little risk?”

Steve glared at Sam. “I said that exact same thing after the Melbourne situation and you didn’t agree then.”

“That’s because you tackled the alien thing with the explosive device that was set to rig the entire city without knowing if Tony had disabled it first.”

“I knew he could do it.”

“We all did, but that wasn’t the point.” Sam sighed. “This Bucky guy and his daughter may be out to get information or exploit you, but you’re smiling, Steve. You said you had fun last night. Try and make a friend and if he is trying to get to you in a bad way, then you walk away with a learning experience. If not, then, you’ve got yourself two brand new friends.” 

Steve sighed. “Okay, I’ll try and make friends with Bucky and Winnie.” He said it as if it was the worst thing in the world to do, but really, Steve couldn’t wait to start trying. 

Sam and Steve continued to talk as they ate their breakfasts. Sam relayed the funniest things that had happened at the compound, including and not limited to Tony blowing up a couch and Clint falling from a vent. They joked and laughed, but talked seriously about Sam’s VA work. By the time Steve had finished eating and their jog/coffee date had come to its natural conclusion, Steve was feeling good. These past twenty-four hours had been the best of his depressing week alone, filled with friendly faces, good food and warmth. 

They parted with a hug.

“New week, Steve,” Sam said, pulling back from the hug. “Try and get out of the apartment, make some friends.”

Steve smirked. “I dunno, man. Netflix is a pretty good friend.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “I know. Just keep trying, yeah? We’re not expecting you to have your life sorted out in a second, so take your time. Just make sure the time you're using is at least a little productive.”

“Thanks, Sam.” Steve pulled him into another hug, filled with gratitude for a friend like Sam. “I’ll try.”

“Yeah, I know. You’re a stubborn bastard!” And with a laugh, they went their separate ways at the front of Steve’s building. Sam to his car and Steve to the front door. Sam to the Compound and Steve to his apartment. Sam to his figured out life and Steve to his sort-of midlife crisis.

Shaking those thoughts from his head, Steve unlocked the door to his building and headed up the three flights of stairs to his apartment. He reached for his keys in his pocket when he felt his phone buzz with an incoming text.

**Nat Romanoff:** _You went on a date with hot neighbour and you didn’t tell me? I’m sad Steve :(_

Steve scoffed, shaking his head and replying, his lonely apartment forgotten.

**Steve Rogers:** _Did Sam text you as soon as I turned around?_

**Nat Romanoff:** _No comment._

**Steve Rogers:** _Unbelievable._

**Nat Romanoff:** _Sam is better at spilling tea then you are and you know it._

**Steve Rogers:** _I have no idea what the fuck that means._

**Nat Romanoff:** _You’re such an old man._

But before Steve could send a message that really shone a light on his sailors' language, he heard the sound of footsteps and a voice floating up the stairwell. He froze, recognising the voice.

“Yes, I’m jealous, you brat.” A pause. “You’re in Greece and I just comforted a kid who was crying about Stalin.”

It was Bucky. Bucky Barnes was walking up the stairs which shouldn’t have surprised Steve as much as it did given the fact that Bucky lived there but it did anyway. Panic shot through Steve as he debated whether to quickly run into his apartment or just run through the wall. Sam’s annoying voice popped up in his rapid-fire thoughts, telling him to make friends. And it was too late anyway because Bucky was now on their floor, bag slung over his shoulder and hand holding his phone to his ear.

Bucky smiled when he saw Steve. Steve’s heart started beating a little faster as he smiled back at Bucky and appreciated how good he looked as Bucky rolled his eyes, listening to the person on the phone.

He was wearing a simple white t-shirt that hugged his chest and he had obviously just got back from work because he was also wearing a navy blue blazer and suit pants. The left sleeve of the blazer was folded and pinned neatly so it wouldn’t annoy Bucky. The blue and the white together brought out Bucky’s steel-blue eyes and Steve nearly started drooling right then and there. How was it possible that a specimen like this existed? And was single? 

Bucky stopped out the front of his door, only a few steps away from Steve himself. He wasn’t sure if he'd survive if they were any closer. Especially because he was still in his jogging clothes, just a grey t-shirt and blue shorts, probably stinking up the entire building.

“Yes,” Bucky was saying, this time directing his eye roll at Steve to communicate he was exasperated with the other person. Steve chuckled, glad to see that Bucky was leaning against his door, facing Steve, instead of opening it. Did that mean he wanted to talk? “Yes, I’m sure you’re kissing wonderful Greek boys, Becs.” He paused, Bucky’s eyes flickering from the ground up to Steve and then blushing a little. “No, I still prefer my Brooklyn boys.” And then he winked at Steve.

Steve died. He’d had multiple close cases over his very long life but none of that compared to what he felt like right then and there. Bucky was talking about Brooklyn boys. And kissing. And _winked. At Steve._ Heat rose to Steve's cheeks and there was no point in trying to stop it. Steve was a boy. From Brooklyn. He was a Brooklyn boy. Was _Bucky flirting with him?_

Unable to look at the god standing next to him, Steve helplessly looked at his phone. 

**Nat Romanoff:** _You’re such an old man._

He pretended to be typing back to Natasha until he heard Bucky finish off his conversation.

“Yeah, love you too. Please don’t contract an STD!” And with that, he hung up the phone.

“STD?” Steve asked, apparently losing all good conversation/flirting skills.

Bucky sighed, slipping his phone into the pocket in his laptop bag. “Sexually Transmitted Disease.” At Steve’s wide eyes he sighed again. “Right. You knew that. My sister is in Europe at the moment. Let’s just say she’s having a lot of fun.”

Steve nodded his head in understanding. “I cannot relate. Anytime I’ve been in Europe, people have ended up shooting at me.”

Bucky grinned. “I cannot relate to either of you. I have not been to Europe.”

“Cool,” Steve said, grinning back. “Glad we could clear the air.”

Bucky giggled and Steve’s heart soared. “Where have you been?” 

Steve looked down at his disgusting clothes. “Went for a jog with my friend Sam this morning. Sorry, I probably stink.”

Bucky waved him away. “Nah, you’re good. I’m more shocked that you went for a _jog_ , in the _morning_.”

Steve chuckled. “Not a morning person, then?”

“Oh, fuck mornings. I have to be up early for Winnie, but if I had a choice I would sleep in until lunchtime.”

Bucky shifted on his feet as silence washed over them for a moment. His gaze darted from Steve to his door and then to Steve again. He seemed to have decided on his next course of action for he stepped away from the door and squared his shoulders, looking Steve straight in the eye.

Steve almost couldn’t take it.

“Would you like to come in for lunch?”

Steve used to pride himself on expecting the unexpected. In his line of work, he fought and ran into the craziest people that Earth, and the universe, sometimes, had to offer. He had learned to be comfortable with surprises and to quickly conclude the next course of action within a second. Bucky, however, had him stumped. It seemed to be a recurring theme between them.

Steve's intelligent response was: “Huh?”

“Well,” Bucky said. “It’s nearly lunchtime. I haven’t had lunch so I was going to make some before I have to pick Winnie up from school. Would you like to join me?”

 _Fuck,_ Steve thought, _fuuuuuuuck._ “Yes. Yeah, that’d be great thank you.” But then he caught a whiff of his own stench. “But I’m kinda gross from my run-”

“Go have a shower then,” Bucky said, maybe a little quickly. “Then come over. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you.”

 _This is too good to be true._ “Are you sure?”

“I promise I am not a Nazi, Steve.” Bucky rolled his eyes, pulling his keys from his pockets. “Go and have a shower. I’ll start cooking.” 

And then Bucky walked into his apartment, shot Steve a dazzling smile and closed the door. Steve stood there for a few moments in denial, gathering his thoughts before bolting into his apartment and having the quickest shower of his entire life. 

He got dressed into a grey shirt and black jeans, quickly drying his hair and brushing a hand through it to try and regain some semblance of cool. He decided not to dwell too much on what he was wearing, knowing full well if he stood there analysing everything he could be there for hours. On his way out, he grabbed his phone, wallet and keys and then he found himself out the front of Bucky’s door. 

He hesitated. It felt weird to not knock and wait for Bucky to open the door. Was he meant to just open it and walk in? Did Bucky want him to do that?

Deciding to take a risk, Steve never put this much thought into decisions _what was happening to him_ , he quickly rapped on the door before opening it and stepping into the apartment.

“Hey again,” Bucky said, standing behind the kitchen island, pouring some lemonade into two glasses. 

“Hey.” Steve hovered, taking a sip of lemonade. Bucky had laid his blazer over the couch, so now he was only in the shirt and pants. All the more easier for Steve to stare at his chest. “Need any help?”

“Sure. I’ll teach you how to make my delicacy.”

“Delicacy?” Steve raised his eyebrows, coming around the bench to wash his hands after Bucky had washed his. Steve noticed the bandage was off and Bucky didn’t seem to be in any pain from the cut from last night.

Bucky nodded. “Yep. You’re a lucky man, Steve Rogers. This is a very secret Barnes recipe I’m about to reveal to you.” He was standing close to Steve now. Steve could elbow him, but he’d rather kiss him. “Think you can keep it a secret?”

“Does the world know about a glowing flying space lady from Earth that mysteriously died in an Air Force test flight crash in the 90s but is actually all over the universe saving worlds and planets?”

Bucky froze, his eyes wide as he looked to Steve, who was biting his lip to keep from smiling. “Jesus Christ.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Her name is actually Carol Danvers.”

Bucky gaped for a moment before shaking his head, his eyes sparkling with laughter. “I’m just gonna ignore-” he waved his head in Steve’s direction “-all that and focus back on me.”

“Of course,” Steve said. “I can keep a secret.”

Bucky smirked. “Perfect. Can you please get two plates and two knives?” He pointed to the appropriate cupboards and draws.

Steve nodded and grabbed the correct items as Bucky turned around to get ingredients from the pantry. Steve watched as he pulled out the loaf of bread and tossed it onto the bench, then grabbed a jar of peanut butter and passed it to Steve. Steve looked down at the jar in confusion before looking back to Bucky, who was holding a jar of jelly.

Bucky broke out into a laugh when Steve rolled his eyes, setting the jar of peanut butter on the bench. “Wow, Buck. I wonder what this delicacy could be. I’ve never seen these three ingredients together before.”

Bucky regarded him for a moment. “You’re a little shit.”

“Says the guy who’s feeding me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and calling it a delicacy.”

“You’re a punk.”

“Jerk.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and gestured to the ingredients, indicating for Steve to start making them. Bucky hovered over his shoulder as Steve spread the jelly and peanut butter on the bread, making small noises of agreement or disagreement at everything Steve did. If it was anyone else, Steve would have walked away and made them make the sandwiches themselves as they clearly had opinions, but the warmth from Bucky’s body _right there_ was very distracting. 

“Perfect,” Bucky said, taking a sandwich from Steve. 

Steve rolled his eyes. “Are you sure you aren’t the child in the family?”

Bucky only grinned and watched Steve like a hawk as he took the first bite. Steve should have expected the unexpected with Bucky, but god he did not expect the explosion of flavour from the simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich he was being subjected to. Bucky watched in amusement as Steve’s eyebrows rose in surprise, taking another bite even though he hadn’t finished the one from before. 

“Are you sure weed isn't a common ingredient in your food?” Steve asked. “First the cookies, and now this?”

Bucky beamed, taking a bit of his own sandwich.

“Are you trying to get me high?” Steve finished his first sandwich and moved onto making a second.

“Thought you said that you couldn’t get high.”

“Some people have tried it though.” Steve moaned around his sandwich, the jelly blending with the peanut butter in a way that had Steve craving again it as soon as he swallowed.

“Sometimes I forget that you were literally Captain America.”

Steve gave him a sheepish smile before taking another bite. He tried to squash down the blossoming warmth at Bucky’s statement. Not many people forget he was Captain America.

Bucky shook his head, almost as if he couldn’t believe Steve was real. “My mother made the jelly. That’s why it tastes so good.”

“Your mother is a saint.”

“And the devil. Ma Barnes is a feisty one.”

Bucky finished his sandwich and got himself a glass of water before nodding his head to the couch, telling Steve to take a seat. They sat down, facing each other with their legs slightly bent and their knees touching. Steve didn’t dare move. 

“How was work?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Dramatic. We finished feminism today and I had a pretty heated discussion with one of my students after class. He thought I had an extreme bias when teaching the course and was going to report me to the department.”

“What bias did he think you had?”

“Because I’m a feminist he thinks that I was promoting the cause.”

Steve squinted at him. “That’s a good thing though. Everyone should be a feminist.”

“That’s exactly what I wanted to tell him.” Bucky sighed. “He’s a real piece of work that kid. We’ll see what he writes for this area of study’s essay.”

“Have you had problems with him in the past?”

Bucky hesitated. “Yeah,” he took a sip of his water to delay his response. “We’ve had a difference in opinions before. It’s not my job to give the kids a biased view on the course, I’m just there for them to tell them the facts on what happened and let them develop their own opinion. I’ve got a curious class this year, so they always ask me my opinions on sequences of events. He likes to fight me on them.” Bucky chuckled. “I’m always up for a history debate, but when you’re being a total dick and not respecting someone for their different opinion, that’s when I start to get angry.”

“That sucks, Buck.” Steve could understand, he had had his share of people acting like dick’s in his life too.

“Yeah. And when he personally attacks you or your students, well then, you just have to report him to the department, don’t you?”

“They didn’t talk to him?”

“Yes,” Bucky shook his head, tracing his finger around the top of his glass. He had sadness in his posture and Steve wanted to get rid of it. “They talked to him. He didn’t get punished for it though.”

At Steve’s curious look he brushed his hand through his hair. “He’s said some not nice things about my arm before. To my face and behind my back.”

Steve’s jaw clenched. He didn’t know what happened with Bucky’s arm, didn’t know if there were any trauma or insecurities hiding with Bucky or if he was okay with it now, but Steve wanted to walk down to that school and punch the living daylights out of this kid. 

Bucky was watching him, his eyes tracing over his face. “You don’t back down from a fight, do you, Steve Rogers?”

“No. Not if something is worth fighting for.”

Bucky’s lips twitched but then settled back into a firm line. He looked back down to his glass, flexing his fingers around it. Steve waited in silence, feeling like Bucky wanted to speak more about this topic, but he didn’t want to push him.

“I signed up when I was fresh outta high school. I had no clue what I wanted to do. I had no plan for college or for a job. The army does this thing, you know? Welcomes you in with open arms, tells you that they’ll look after you. They’re a family and give you purpose and passion. They bring you in and then you're stuck.”

Steve wanted so desperately to verbally agree with this assessment. In a way, that’s what happened to him. The army, Erskine, had seen a boy who wanted to help. He agreed to the serum and he’s been stuck with them for most of his life. He had only gotten out in the last few months. Instead, Steve sits and listens. Bucky seems to want to do this. Steve wants to know more about him.

“It wasn’t so bad at first. I had a great unit, we worked so well together. But we got deployed, we started shooting and we didn’t seem to stop. I climbed the ranks pretty quickly and became a sergeant of the unit. Suddenly I had all this pressure, more pressure than before, to make sure my men got out alive. I killed and I brushed it off because we had to survive. On my second tour, I led half of my team to do a standard sweep of a building in a town we had just liberated.” Bucky shrugged. “We had done it a million times before. We knew what we were doing. But I had this terrible gut feeling that something bad was going to happen, so I sent the boys out and went to clear the room by myself.

An IED exploded. I lost my left arm. Honourable discharge at 23 and I moved back home to Brooklyn. I wasn’t doing so well. PTSD led to alcohol abuse. Pushed my family away. What saved me was Winnie. She was totally unexpected and couldn't have come at a worse time in my life but she’s my everything now. I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for her.”

“You’re a strong person, Bucky.” Steve reached out and squeezed Bucky’s hand. “I admire that about you.”

Bucky really smiled then. Steve felt like he hadn’t gotten the whole story, that pieces were missing, but he hoped that Bucky would give them to him. In time. For now, he was just grateful to be in the presence of this amazing man and his daughter. 

“Thank you, Steve. That really means a lot.”

Steve smiled back and then they were both smiling like a couple of idiots. Their smiling party was interrupted by Bucky’s phone buzzing on the counter. He sighed, looking regretfully at Steve before getting off the couch with a loud sigh and padding over to his phone.

He picked it up, rolling his eyes, and sat back down. Steve was delighted that Bucky pushed their knees together again. 

“It’s my twin sister, Becca.” He showed the phone screen to Steve who let out an amused laugh at the picture of a trash can with the Acropolis of Athens in the background attached to the text message, _‘didn’t realise you had moved here, you piece of trash’_. 

“She’s funny.”

“She’s a brat.”

Bucky moved the phone up higher so she could take a video of himself talking to it. He didn’t get Steve in the frame, for which he was grateful. He didn’t want to deal with any media at the moment. 

“Hey, you little shit. I just wanted to remind you that you suck and that _you_ are the trash in this family.” Bucky grinned as Steve gasped beside him. “I’d also like to remind you that I control when and where you see my daughter so insult me again and you’ll never see Winnie again.” 

Before Bucky could stop recording Steve let out a shocked “ _Bucky!”_ and then they both dissolved into laughter. Bucky ended the recording and sent it off to Becca with a cheeky wink at Steve. If Steve was standing, his knees would have given out beneath him.

“Are you always this mean to your sister?”

Bucky rolled his eyes and placed his phone on the coffee table. “Yeah, well it’s the truth. She deserves it.”

“Did she put spiders in your bed? Or shaved your eyebrows?”

“No,” Bucky huffed. “She extended her trip to Europe for a few more months. She’s getting back at the start of March. She usually picks Winnie up from school a couple of days a week because I have classes and meetings, and she looks after her during the height exam and essay time too. Which means that I’ve gotta keep Winnie in after school care and I might have to hire a babysitter some nights.”

And because Steve is an Idiot who never thinks about anything and runs headfirst into dangerous situations, he opens his mouth and speaks. “I could do it.”

Bucky’s head shot up so fast he probably gave himself whiplash. His eyes were as wide as Steve’s. “What?”

“Uh, I could pick her up. Look after her until you get home. I’m sorry, that was so stupid of me, forget I even offered-”

“Could you, though?”

Steve’s heart sped up. “Y-yeah. I mean, I don’t have a job. I’m literally in my apartment all day every day. I don’t have much experience with looking after children but I can adapt to different situations pretty quickly. It would, uh, it would give me something to do.” Steve’s mind scrambled to reach onto this thing with both hands and all his strength. This could make him productive again. And he could see Bucky more. “And Winnie is such a great kid. She wouldn’t be trouble at all.”

Bucky smirked, probably thinking that Winnie is more trouble than she’s worth. “Are you serious?”

“About doing this? Yeah. Free of charge too.”

Bucky’s eyes scanned his face for a few more moments, Steve trying not to blush at the attention whilst sending out a ‘hey I can totally look after your child, the light of your life, even though I have no experience with children’ vibe.

It seemed to succeed because Bucky smiled at him. “Wow, Steve. That’s so generous of you. I’ll have to make sure Winnie is okay with it first, but I somehow don’t think that will be a problem.”

Steve smiled back at him. “Thanks.”

“Why the fuck are you thanking me? You just saved my life.”

The conversation turned away from Winnie to other things, but Steve couldn’t stop the thrill of excitement from buzzing through him at the thought that Winnie could say yes. That he could spend time with an awesome kid and her dad instead of wallowing in his apartment by himself. 

Suddenly Bucky looked at the clock and groaned. “As much as I would love to learn more about Hawkeye’s penis getting stuck in an air vent, we’ve got to go pick Winnie up from school.”

Steve’s breath caught in his throat. “We?”

“Well you gotta know where the school is to pick her up, don’t you, Stevie?” 

Steve’s brain stopped working. It didn’t compute that he was leaving the apartment with Bucky now, or that Bucky was standing up. It was stuck on the name Bucky had called him. Stevie. Stevie. Warmth filled Steve, flowing out to his fingers and toes and his ears, his face red from it. Bucky had called him Stevie. He was going to die.

“She hasn’t even said yes yet.” Steve reminded him instead of jumping him right then and there.

Bucky winked at him. Again. Maybe Steve should just leave and never be in this man’s presence again for self-preservation. Luckily he had no self-preservation skills. “Don’t worry. She will.”

Bucky tilted his chin toward the door, smiling. Steve followed him out.

They only had to wait a few minutes out the front of the school until the bell rang but Bucky caught him up on the schoolyard gossip.

“That there is Beth. She seems really nice but once she stuck a piece of chewing gum in Winnie’s hair because Winnie won the art show and her son, Jack, didn’t.”

“That’s the infamous Oliver’s dads. One’s a huge fan of you and once told me he would leave his family in a second for a date with you so steer clear unless you want to break up a nice family.”

“That’s Mr Sampson. Or as I like to call him: tall, dark and handsome.”

Steve’s heart jumped. “Is that your type?”

“Nah,” Bucky squinted at him. “I usually go for the big, blonde and dumb type.”

“Oh,” Steve said, disappointed. 

The bell rang and hundreds of small, yelling children came flying out of the doors into the arms of exhausted and miserable parents. Winnie bounded over, a piece of paper flying in her hand. She barrelled to her dad who braced himself as her arms came flying around his legs in a hug. He laughed and gave her a quick kiss on her head.

“Dad! Dad! Dad!” Winnie jumped back from him, waving the piece of paper around in Bucky’s face. “Miss Morse let us do finger painting in math today!”

“Finger painting in math, huh? That’s a bit weird.” Bucky attempted to wipe a speck of pink paint off Winnie’s forehead but to no success. 

“It’s never a weird time to finger paint, Dad.” Winnie rolled her eyes, taking a step back from Bucky only to realise another man was standing there. Her gaze shot up to Steve’s face, then she broke out into a smile. “Steve!” And she wrapped her arms around Steve’s leg too.

Steve beamed, patting Winnie on the head and smoothing out some of her hair. Bucky was watching them with a smirk. “Hey, Winnie.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Your dad and I were having lunch together and I thought I’d tag along to pick you up. Is that okay?”

Winnie paused for a moment and Steve felt his heart drop before it soared when Winnie nodded her head, took his hand and started to drag him down the street. “Yes! Come on, I’ll show you the way home!”

Steve let himself be dragged the way back to their apartment building, even though he had just taken the route there himself. He marvelled at the little things Winnie pointed out; from a certain crack in the pavement she liked or a birds nest she always checked on the way home. He gasped at appropriate times in her very long-winded stories and she seemed to appreciate that very much. Bucky watched on with a smirk and warm eyes.

When they got back to the apartment building Steve stood awkwardly between their doors. He wanted to go in with them, wanted to spend more time feeling light and warm, but he didn’t want to intrude. Bucky seemed to notice and took pity on him.

He passed the keys to Winnie who poked her tongue out in concentration trying to unlock the door. “I’ve got some work I have to do for my classes tomorrow and Winnie has homework. Do you want to come over for dinner later though? I’ll get Winnie to come over and get you?”

Steve sighed in relief. “Yeah, yeah. That sounds amazing. Do you need help with the food?”

“I’ll drop by a shopping list if we need anything.”

Steve nodded and smiled, and Bucky did the same. Winnie let out a triumph yell as she unlocked the door. “We need chocolate, Steve! So much chocolate.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and gave Steve a little wave before shepherding his daughter into their apartment, closing the door with his foot and a little click.

Steve stared at the door for a little while, processing that he was having dinner with the Barnes’ again. For the second night in a row. His third meal with Bucky. 

He needed to talk to someone.

He quickly fumbled his way into his apartment, tossing his keys on the kitchen bench and taking a seat on the couch. He still hadn’t unpacked anything. He’d get around to it eventually. First, he needed to call Nat.

She picked up after a few rings. “Rogers.”

“Romanoff.” Steve smiled.

“Miss me?” He could hear the smile in her voice.

“You’re like a phantom limb, Natty. I ache for you every second of every day and when you’re not there I weep. I weep for my other half.”

She was laughing at him and if she was there he’d be able to see the twinkle in her eye and she’d push him in the shoulder and he would beam back at her. “You call me Natty again and you’ll have four phantom limbs, Rogers.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

A beat. “I miss you too.”

“Aw, Natty.”

“You’re not that attached to your arms and legs, are you?”

He leant back on the couch, throwing one arm over the back and kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “I feel like they would grow back even if you chopped them off.”

“Don’t tell Tony. He’d want to test it out.”

“How’s he doing?”

He could imagine her shrug, her hair brushing over her shoulders. “Good, I think. He hasn’t been spending as much time in the lab recently. I think he’s taken a page out of your book and is finally resting.”

“Hmm.”

“Plus that Parker kid is giving him a run for his money.”

“Never thought I’d see the day where Tony was a father. I hoped but didn’t think it would happen.”

“He seems to be enjoying it.”

“Good. He deserves it.”

“How are you doing, Steve?”

“I’m dandy. How are you doing?”

“Don’t change the subject, Rogers. You know me better than that. Sam said you’ve replaced us with Netflix?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Has Sam always told you everything or is this a new development?”

“Not a new development. We actually have a group chat with everyone except you called Roger’s Wranglers.”

“I hope you’re joking.”

He could hear the smirk in her voice. “Tell me about your date.”

And even though it wasn’t a date, Steve told her everything. How Bucky and Winnie opened him with open arms, how they treated him like any other person. How he felt around them. How he wanted to keep being around them.

“Get his number, you fucking idiot.”

“Sorry that I’m so caught up in his beauty I forgot.”

“You’re not sorry at all.”

“Nope.”

There was a shout from the other side of a phone and then a sigh from Nat. “Why do I live here with you boys? You cause me more stress than what you’re worth!”

There was a reply which Steve couldn’t quite make out but it sounded like Clint.

“You’re right. The only reason I’m here is for Pepper.”

This time the reply came from Tony.

“Seriously, Tony? You’re only just realising that your wife and I have been having a secret affair since 2009 _now_?”

Steve laughed which seemed to remind Nat that he was on the phone. “One sec, Steve.”

There was some ruffling from Nat’s side of the phone and then her voice. “Friday, can you please connect Steve to the TV?”

“Sure thing, Natasha.”

There was a long pause and then came Tony’s voice loud and clear. “Thanks, grandpa, but we don’t really want to see inside your ear.”

Steve’s face scrunched together in confusion as he pulled his phone away from his ear. He smiled though, once he realised Nat had connected him to the TV to video chat with the others. He could see into the Common Room and the kitchen behind. Nat was sitting on the couch, her phone now resting beside her. Her legs were pulled up until she could rest her arms and chin on her knees. Clint was standing behind her, cleaning his arrows. Tony was standing in the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee. They were all grinning at him.

“Hey, guys.”

“Friday, darling, could you please assemble all the Avengers and honorary Avengers to the Common Room. Tell them we’ve got an old man on the phone who has fallen and can’t get back up.”

“Missed you too, Tony.”

Soon the Common Room at the Compound was filled with Avengers including Nat, Clint, Tony, Sam, Peter, Wanda, Bruce, Vision and honorary Avengers, just Pepper. They filled Steve in on their weeks, telling some of the same stories Sam had told him before but with more dramatics and interruptions. Steve told them about his week and catching up on pop culture. He mentioned some nice neighbours in passing but didn’t go into further detail. He wanted to keep Bucky and Winnie to himself a little longer. 

What was meant to be a discussion about possibly caring for a child with Nat turned into a long group video call with his entire family. Somehow he didn’t mind that they didn’t get to talk much about Winnie. This seemed fine with him.

Luckily Steve had hung up with everyone a couple hours later when Winnie knocked on the door. He wasn’t sure how he’d explain a small child knocking on his door demanding he come over “right now, Steve! Dad says we can’t start dinner without you and I’m really really really hungry!” 

Dinner that night was a very mild red Thai chicken curry. When Steve complemented Bucky on his cooking they ended up in a heated and passionate discussion about food from the thirties and how much it had evolved since then. Winnie told Steve all about her favourite foods and he made a mental list to remember them, hoping it would come in handy if he started to look after her. 

They finished and had some fruit for dessert before watching an episode of Doc McStuffin because apparently, Winnie had decided today that she wanted to be a doctor. 

Steve was warmed to the core as she sleepily gave him a kiss on the cheek and a quiet “See you tomorrow” when Bucky took her to bed. He was even warmer when Bucky sat down next to him on the couch and grinned at him.

“Winnie’s cool with you picking her up from school and hanging around till I get home.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah. No one can resist you, Stevie.”

Steve blushed. 

“Tomorrow if you just pick her up from school, same time and place, then walk her back here then everything should be good. Help her with homework if she needs it, let her paint on the balcony only. I’ll talk to her tomorrow about being nice and not pushing boundaries but just remember you can say no to her at any point. You’re in charge.”

“I’m in charge.”

Bucky’s face softened. “You’ll be fine, Steve. Just feed her and let her play and not injure herself and you’re good. Honestly. I’m not expecting anything spectacular. The fact that you’re willing to do this without anything in return speaks volumes.”

Steve shrugged. “Thanks for letting me do this.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. We’ll work out more logistics tomorrow when I get home from work. Is that okay?”

 _More than okay. 100% okay. Better than anything else okay._ “Yeah, sure.”

“Cool. Can I have your number?”

Steve sputtered and nearly choked on his own tongue. He looked at Bucky with wide eyes and red cheeks to see the other man blushing slightly.

“My number?”

“Yeah? So we can contact each other in case my daughter spontaneously combusts, amongst other things?”

_Other things._

When Steve offered nothing, Bucky deflated a little. “Sorry, are you not allowed to give your phone numbers to civilians? I don’t want to overstep or anything but-”

“No!” Steve said way too loudly and way too quickly. “No, I can give you my number. Sorry. I’m weird.”

Bucky chuckled. “That’s okay.”

Steve took Bucky’s phone from the man and, his heart beating so loudly he was sure Bucky could feel the vibrations, typed out his phone number. He handed it back to Bucky with a small smile who typed out a quick message. Steve felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

“Thanks, Stevie.”

“All good, Buck.”

They parted ways that night with a hug and Steve had never felt so safe before.

When he got back into his apartment he fished his phone out of his pocket.

 **Unknown number:** Y _ou’re a punk._

 **Steve Rogers:** _And you’re a jerk._

 **Bucky Barnes <3:** _Damn right I am. Goodnight, Stevie._

 **Steve Rogers:** _Night, Buck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck they are so cute. please let me know your thoughts!! have a good day x


	4. I'll bring you sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I feel bad. I was asking all these questions about Black Widow,” she looked up at him with large, round sad blue eyes. “You’re my friend now and all we do is talk about Black Widow and not you!”
> 
> Steve’s heart was melting. It had been frozen since forever and this is what it felt like for it to melt. Oh my god. Winnie was his _friend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Sunshine by Sia
> 
> and fyi, all the chapters are long. most of them are 6000 words+

He was a nervous ball of energy the next day. 

He didn’t do much all day. Well, to be fair he hadn’t really been doing anything for the past few weeks but he couldn’t even make it through an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine without pacing.

Yes, he started watching it because Winnie had mentioned it was Bucky’s favourite show. No, he was not a pathetic lonely loser.

He went for a very long run in the morning to try and shake the nerves before they became too big. When that didn’t work, he aggressively cleaned his entire apartment. When he sat back in the kitchen looking at the squeaky clean tiles and still felt the flutter of a butterfly, he turned to Netflix and then reading and then he decided that nothing would stop him from being nervous.

And being nervous was a good thing, right? Meant he cared or some bullshit. He really did not want to fuck this up.

This could be a way to become something more than an Avenger. A way to reclaim Steve Rogers. He could have a friend who he sees regularly, who he has things in common with and could go out with. He could have another friend who was cute and energetic and non-judgemental. He could have a routine again, a life again. He wanted this so desperately that he almost forgot to pick Winnie up, too distracted by his thoughts and emotions.

He rushed out the door and grabbed his phone and wallet, walking briskly to the school. He found the exact same spot that he and Bucky had waited for Winnie yesterday and stuck his hands in his pockets, trying to seem small and not attract any unnecessary attention to himself.

Just before the bell went, his phone buzzed.

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _Fuck, forgot to tell you that I left a key to the apartment in the potted plant on the landing._

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _Also forgot to remind you that you’ll be great and don’t stress. I trust you, Stevie._

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _Don’t fuck up my daughter. And no unnecessary sugar!_

**Steve Rogers:** _Thank you! I promise I will not ‘fuck’ up your daughter and no unnecessary sugar._

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _Don’t be a little shit, Steve. I’ll see you in a few hours_

**Steve Rogers:** _;)_

The bell went and out came the screaming children. Steve quickly scanned the crowd for Winnie but didn’t need to look long before he heard a loud voice chanting.

“Steve! Steve! Steve!”

Winnie bounded up to him like she did yesterday, wrapping her arms around his legs. He grinned, leaning down to give her a proper hug.

He pulled back and squeezed her shoulder. “Hey, Winnie. How was your day?”

“Fantastic!” She reached out and patted him on the cheek to which he blinked in surprise. “Come on. We gotta get home. I’m hungry and I want to paint.”

“Oh,” Steve said, exaggerating a pout. “I had a fun idea-” Winnie’s head snapped up to look at him. “-but if you wanna go home I guess we don’t have to stop for ice cream-”

“Ice cream?”

“-and you can go paint or whatever, it’s cool.”

“No, it’s not!” Winnie took his hand and started to pull him away. “I don’t want to paint anymore. Ice cream sounds super duper crazy great.”

“Okay!” Steve laughed, letting himself be dragged to the closest ice cream shop by a small child.

Any worries Steve had about looking after Winnie melted away as they held hands walking down the street. All his focus fell on her as she shot question after question to him about Black Widow.

“What’s her favourite flavour of ice cream?”

“White Widow Chocolate.”

“What’s her favourite drink?”

“Hot cocoa.”

“Does she wear scarfs?”

“Yes.”

“What colour is her toothbrush?”

“Black and red.”

“What’s her catchphrase?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Do you think she’d like me?”

“She’d love you, Winnie. She’d probably think you’re the coolest person in the world!”

“Even cooler than her?”

“Oh, definitely.”

“Wow.”

Winnie got a scoop of White Widow Chocolate in a waffle cone and Steve got a scoop of vanilla ice cream with hot fudge sauce. They sat down in a booth and were silent for a few moments as they both enjoyed their ice cream.

“Steve.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

Steve’s face scrunched together in concern as Winnie looked sadly down at her ice cream. “For what, sunshine?”

“I feel bad. I was asking all these questions about Black Widow,” she looked up at him with large, round sad blue eyes. “You’re my friend now and all we do is talk about Black Widow and not you!”

Steve’s heart was melting. It had been frozen since forever and this is what it felt like for it to melt. Oh my god. Winnie was his _friend_.

“That’s okay. Black Widow is pretty cool so I don’t blame you.” She was still sad so he thought of a way to make it better. “We could play twenty questions? You ask me a question and then I ask you a question so we can get to know each other better.”

Her face lit up and she took a large bite of her ice cream. He winced in sympathy but she didn’t flinch. “Okay! How old are you?”

“I’m actually turning one hundred and two this year.”

“Wow. That’s almost as old as the dinosaurs!”

Steve laughed. People, mainly the Avengers, made jokes about his age all the damn time but Winnie was so sincere in this instance he couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah. How old are you?”

“Six-years-old.”

“Jeez, you’re really old.”

She giggled. “What’s your favourite colour?”

“Blue. Yours?”

“Yellow.”

“Is that because it’s Black Widow’s favourite colour too?”

“Yes!” Too young to deny the fact out of embarrassment, she beamed. “And that’s one of your questions!”

They continued to play the game and once they finished their ice cream they held hands and walked back to the Barnes’ apartment. Winnie helped him find the key in the potted plant just next to the staircase and when they went inside he made her a sandwich where he didn’t touch the peanut butter and jelly. He wasn’t quite ready to breach a Barnes delicacy. After helping her with some spelling words homework from her teacher, he helped get some paints out for her to “create a masterpiece” on the balcony.

After fixing the smock on her, she set to work finger painting on a thick piece of paper. He sat outside with her on a small fold out chair, glasses of homemade lemonade on the ground by his feet, book in his hand. He played some music from his phone, music that Quill would have loved and Winnie claimed to be her favourite cause her dad listened to it “all the time!”. It was nice with the sun hitting their faces, fresh winter air allowing them to relax and be present with each other.

Steve rather enjoyed himself, until Winnie asked him a question.

“Do you paint?”

He startled from looking at a mother and son who walked down on the street below who had caught his attention because he thought it was them. Steve and his mother. He turned to find Winnie focusing on her painting, tongue sticking out adorably as she mixed some red and blue together with her fingers.

“Uh, I used to. I loved to draw with pencils.”

“Used to?”

“When I was younger, I drew all the time. But now that I’m a big kid I don’t have a lot of time.”

She turned around and cocked her head to the side, placing her hands on her hips. Steve was very grateful that they had decided to go with a smock.

“But you’re retired,” she said the word slowly like she was imagining Bucky saying it to her. “Doesn’t that mean you stop working?”

“Yeah but-”

“And Daddy said you liked Netflix,” she raised her eyebrows at him and he suddenly felt like he was being scolded by his mother in 1938 for getting into another fight. “Just stop watching Netflix and draw. Duh!”

Steve nodded, his gut twisting. “Right. You’re so smart, Winnie.”

She rolled her eyes at him like she couldn’t believe he had just realised this.

“Why do you like to paint, sunshine?”

“Cause it’s fun,” she shrugged, dipping her fingers in the purple paint. “I get to make pretty pictures and Dad says they’re always good. I want to paint forever.”

“Why?”

“I stop remembering everything that happened that day. All that matters is that I get to mix yellow and pink together and make Daddy happy!”

Steve stopped asking questions then. He didn’t want to think about how that’s exactly how he felt when he drew. All his attention was focused and the flick of his pencil, on getting the perfect curve or shading. The fact that his mother was working another shift at the hospital, the fact that he could die of the flu next winter, the fact that the world was at war and he wasn’t, all left his mind. The paper, the pencil and his hand were all that mattered. 

He swallowed thickly, struggling to breathe as his throat clogged up with emotions. He hadn’t drawn since before New York. Before he was thrust into another war. He didn’t want to think about how he hadn’t drawn his new family, hadn’t drawn a bowler hat or red lips in so long. He also didn’t want to understand why he hadn’t started drawing again. 

He’d leave it for now. Let Winnie paint to her heart's content and watch as his own heart twisted and clenched, trapped in his chest. 

He was caught up in watching the paint on the canvas. He didn't notice Winnie trying to get his attention until she poked him on the cheek.

“Hey, you.” Her face was scrunched up in frustration. “Stop being weird and make me some food.”

He raised his eyebrows at her, mainly startled by the blob of pink paint now on his cheek. She must have mistaken him though because she physically deflated.

“Sorry, Stevie. That was really mean of me,” she took a moment to breathe and then looked back up to him with a big smile on her face. “Hey, you. Stop being weird and please make me some food.” 

A laugh escaped him and he got up to go to the kitchen. He opened the fridge to see what he could get together to make some sort of food that resembled dinner. He wasn’t very gifted in the cooking department like others, but he managed. There were three plates in the fridge, all wrapped in aluminium foil with a sticky note on top. 

_“I prepped dinner (chicken schnitzel with salad). Could you please start cooking the schnitzel just before 6? I should be home for dinner by then! - Bucky”_

Steve’s heart clenched at the domesticity of the situation. He checked the clock on the fridge to see the time blinking back at him. It was nearly six. He swore quietly so Winnie wouldn’t hear and started to get to work on cooking the chicken.

He was just turning the last schnitzel over to get the golden crisp he’d seen Pepper make when he heard keys in the lock and the door swung open to reveal Bucky. A smile spread so quickly over Steve’s face at seeing the man that his face muscles might need to be checked by a doctor soon.

Bucky saw him smiling and smiled back. “Hey, Steve!”

“Hey, Buck. How was your day?”

“Dad!” Winnie yelled, cutting Bucky’s response off. “Come look at my painting!”

Bucky shrugged helplessly at Steve and placed his bag onto the kitchen bench before walking over to Winnie on the balcony. Steve watched him go and allowed himself to take a moment to look at Bucky with no eyes to judge him. Today, Bucky was wearing a checked dark grey suit that hugged his curves and his ass _really_ well. Instead of wearing a shirt under the suit jacket, he wore a light grey sweater instead which made him look cute in contrast to the hotness of the suit. Steve was overwhelmed. 

He stopped staring at Bucky’s ass and went back to staring at the chicken. He didn’t want to burn it. 

He could hear Bucky and Winnie talking as he served the chicken on the plates. Feeling weird, he called out to them. “Dinner is ready, you two!”

“Coming!” They both yelled back at him before Winnie came to a skidding halt on the other side of the kitchen bench.

“Oh no, miss, no way,” Bucky said, shrugging his suit jacket off. The left sleeve had been pinned up to his shoulder to stop it flapping around. “Go to the bathroom and dispose of that smock in the bath, please. And wash your hands!”

Winnie rolled her eyes but followed her dad’s instructions. Bucky placed his suit jacket on one of the stools and pulled some cutlery out of one of the draws as Steve set to work putting all the plates on the dining table.

“Thanks for finishing up dinner. I knew that if she didn’t eat as soon as I got home she’d crack it.”

Steve smiled. “It’s all good. Much better than the takeout I would have had.”

“A big guy like you needs his nutrients, Stevie.”

Steve blushed.

Bucky sat down in the same seat from the other night so Steve sat in the same seat he sat in too. Winnie joined them not two seconds later, looking at her food greedily. 

“Thanks, Daddy and Steve!” She said before filling her mouth full of chicken.

Bucky chuckled. “You’re a little hyper. Did Steve give you any unnecessary sugar like I specifically told him not to?’

Steve’s back straightened under Bucky’s eye, with Winnie’s eyes growing at an alarming rate as she stared at Steve. Steve gritted his teeth at her, raising his eyebrows. She seemed to take the hint and swallowed her mouthful of dinner. 

“No, Dad,” she rolled her eyes, implying that her dad was being stupid. God, this girl deserved an Oscar. “Steve was very boring and listened to all your boring rules.”

Steve grinned, smiling at Bucky who watched the pair suspiciously. “Yes. I’m very boring.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and ate some food, seeming to take the lies for the moment. Steve knocked Winnie’s foot under the table, shooting her a quick smile before turning to his dinner. He could see her smirking out of the corner of his eye. 

He could get used to this.

***

Bucky walked him to his door after dinner.

“She wasn’t too bad, was she?”

“Nah,” Steve rested his back on the door, crossing his arms. “She’s awesome.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty cool for a kid.” He bit his lip. “So you’re happy to do it again?”

Steve felt himself relax a little. He was extremely glad that Bucky seemed to think he was capable of looking after Winnie. He trusted Steve to do it again. “Of course, Buck. I’d love to.”

Bucky let out a breath, shoving his hand into his pocket. “Awesome.” 

They organised that Steve would pick Winnie up from school three days out of the working week. Two of those days Becca normally would and the other Winnie would have gone to after school daycare. Three days out of seven. Steve could work with that.

***

For the next month, Tuesday, Thursdays and Fridays became Steve’s favourite days of the week. He’d procrastinate unpacking during the day by going on runs or reading and then he’d walk to the school and wait with all the parents until Winnie came running out. They’d walk back to their apartment building holding hands and swapping stories, Winnie still asking a million questions about Black Widow. Sometimes they’d ignore Bucky’s rules and grab some ice cream. Steve always felt guilty but the grin he would receive from Winnie always lessened the guilt.

They’d get back to the Barnes’ apartment where Steve would use _his_ key to open it. The key became his after a week when Bucky told him to just keep it instead of putting it back in the potted plant. Steve totally did not keep it on his person all day. 

He’d help Winnie with homework whilst they had a snack and depending on her mood she would either paint or play with some toys. After the first week, Bucky had stopped prepping dinner for them and Steve started to cook instead. He would always stay after dinner with Bucky and Winnie and after putting Winnie to bed Bucky would make hot cocoa and they’d sit there. They’d talk for hours and laugh or they’d watch a movie or a tv show, or even just sit together whilst Bucky worked. They relaxed and one night Bucky even fell asleep on Steve’s shoulder. He waited for the movie to end whilst holding his breath before gently waking Bucky up and pushing him towards his bedroom, letting himself out. 

It was kind of surreal. Steve suddenly found himself having dinner three nights a week with two friends who seemed to enjoy his company. He had a child that relied on him to survive and a dad who trusted him with the reason he lived. 

The fact that Bucky and Steve were now firmly in the friend category instead of just neighbours did nothing to ease Steve’s crush on the man. Instead, it only grew. Each story Bucky told, each snippet of life, had Steve waiting on the edge of his seat to hear anything about the beautiful man. Each smile or laugh or look had his heart clenching and butterflies flying in his stomach. 

When Steve caught up for lunch with Nat one day intending to get a signed poster for Winnie she took one look at him and rolled her eyes. “Oh my god, Rogers. You’re smitten.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

He couldn’t find it in himself to argue any further. 

When he gave Winnie the poster she screamed and cried and thanked him profusely. She spent that night after school working on a painting for him. The background sunshine yellow, with the two of them standing in the middle holding hands. She had written their names over their heads, her E’s around the wrong way. Steve had to excuse himself to the bathroom to stop himself from breaking down in front of her, caused by his adoration for the little girl and his heart breaking at the idea of painting something for her in return. He stuck it up on his fridge and looked at it every morning, a smile on his face.

One day Bucky seemed a little off-kilter and when Steve asked if he was okay, he waved Steve away and said he’d had a bad nights sleep. Steve didn’t think that was the full story because Bucky would flinch whenever there was a loud noise. Steve made sure to keep him smiling and the apartment quiet. Bucky would tell him in his own time.

Their fourth Friday was a special one for Steve. Bucky had dismissed his class early because of a massive football game at the school which meant he came home a little earlier. He didn’t even mention kicking Steve out early though, instead, they cooked dinner together. Their banter filled the air with the smell of their dinner as they worked around each other, brushing shoulders and hands as they moved. Steve felt like his blush was permanent, but a few times Steve saw Bucky’s cheeks heat up too so he at least felt like he wasn’t alone. 

It felt so normal. So normal to cook with Bucky and giggle with Winnie and eat with them. It felt like this was his new life, where he belonged because he wasn’t Captain America or Steve With Identity Issues, he was just Steve. The neighbour and babysitter. The friend.

They put Winnie to bed together which had also become the normal routine. Bucky would tuck her in and Steve would kneel next to her, giving her a kiss on the forehead, her cheeks and then her nose before whispering goodnight. Bucky would do the same and then they’d both leave her room together, Steve turning off the light and Bucky closing the door.

Bucky flopped down on the couch, kicking his feet up as Steve rummaged around the kitchen getting two hot coco’s together. He gave Bucky his before picking Bucky’s feet up and sitting down on the couch, Bucky’s feet worming themselves back to the same spot, this time in his lap. Steve didn’t question it, just placed a hand on Bucky’s ankle before taking a sip of his hot cocoa.

Which he immediately regretted. “Fuck, that’s hot! Don’t drink it.”

Bucky was laughing and watching him with amusement. “You’re an idiot, Rogers. What the fuck did you think it was? Ice cold water from Antarctica?”

“Jerk.”

“Punk.”

Steve pushed his legs off his lap but Bucky just laughed and put them back. Steve didn’t fight it. He kind of loved it. 

Bucky sighed, closing his eyes and resting his mug on his stomach. Steve nudged his ankle with his foot, knowing something was on Bucky’s mind.

“What’s up, Buck?”

Bucky opened his eyes and squinted at him. “I feel like if I say what I’m feeling it will only make things weird between us.”

Steve stilled for a moment in shock before recovering. “Well, you’ve already made it weird by saying that so spit it out.”

_I’m falling madly in love with you Steve and I want you to move in and have my babies even though it’s not possible._

“It’s-I, uh, like having you here.” Bucky blushed. Steve tried to keep his face curious and not eager. It was close enough. “It’s nice to have someone over who isn’t a six-year-old that wants to watch The Little Mermaid three times in a row.”

Steve shrugged. “I could go for that right now.”

Bucky kicked him in the thigh. “Shut up. It's nice for Winnie to have another person to rely on, and I’m sorry to freak you out, but you’re kind of the only other person she has in the city besides my sister.”

“Oh,” Steve said softly, his heart warming.

“Sorry, I-”

“No. No, it’s okay.” Steve smiled at him and squeezed his ankle. “I’m really happy I can be that person for her, Buck. Trust me.

“Me too.” Bucky lips twitch. “You’re kind of the only other person for me too.”

Steve’s heart both broke and swelled. Did Bucky have no one else? 

“I know we haven’t really talked about her, but… Winnie’s mother?”

Bucky cracked a grin before he relaxed his face. “Connie Harris. One night stand turned unexpected pregnancy turned the greatest thing in my life.”

Steve’s eyes widened. “One-night stand?”

Bucky smirked. “Yes.” The smirk dropped off his face. “Remember when I told you things got a little rough when I got discharged?”

Steve nodded.

“Yeah. There was a lot of alcohol those years. And a lot of nights spent at the bar and going home with whoever wanted me. I didn’t care. Connie wasn’t really an exception. Until she came back to my apartment with a pregnancy test a few weeks later.”

“That would have given you a heart attack.”

“Yeah, I fainted. When you meet her she’ll tell you the story within the first ten minutes of knowing you. She loves it.”

“You keep in contact with her.”

Bucky shrugged. “She’s Winnie’s mother. Of course.”

“But she’s not involved.”

He shrugged again. “After I had woken up we sat down and talked about what we wanted to do. She told me she was okay with getting an abortion if I didn’t want the baby. She was happy to carry it if I wanted but she wasn’t ready for such a lifestyle change and she didn’t want kids then. Still doesn’t. She gave me a week to think about it. Told me that if I wanted the baby I’d have to get my head on straight during the nine months.

I told Becca and my parents. They all said I shouldn’t do it. Just help Connie through the abortion and give her a hug goodbye and leave it at that. I wasn’t in the state of mind to have a kid. Drinking every day with PTSD. But I was sitting on a park bench a few hours before I was meant to have lunch with Connie and this guy walked past. Long dark hair, like mine used to be, holding hands with a little girl with the same hair. They were having ice cream and were laughing and this dad was looking at his daughter with so much love in his eyes I just started crying. I told Connie I’d keep the baby a few hours later.”

“Fuck, Bucky.”

“Yeah. I was crazy. Connie moved in with me. We were kinda like weird roommates for those nine months. I went cold turkey for the alcohol. It was rough, Steve. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’ve only just started drinking again, a beer every now and then, nothing more. I joined the local VA because Cons pushed me. They set me up with a counsellor and a job. Helped me get back into school. Life was good for a little bit. I relapsed though. Felt the pressure too much and just slipped back into it. Connie gave me a piece of her mind. And Becca and Ma and Dad. I pieced myself together slowly. It was hard. Sometimes I think it was harder than the war itself.”

“Because you were at war with _yourself.”_

“Yeah,” he smiled softly at Steve, a wave of understanding between them. “And then nine months comes to an end and I’m sitting here in this apartment with a screaming baby in my arms. My parents moved in with me for a few weeks and left their house in Indiana. Just so I could get used to it. But eventually, they went home and I had Winnie. She was, still is, my main focus in life. Apart from work. I haven’t had time for friends. I’ve only got my family for support.”

“And now me.”

“And now you.”

There was a moment of silence where they looked at each other, Steve soaking up the warmth flowing through his veins. It felt so good to hear that he meant a lot to Bucky. It was nice to know that Steve wasn’t alone in finding their friendship fundamental to life, and it was invaluable to know that Bucky trusted him with his life story.

“It’s the same for me,” Steve whispered.

Bucky blinked.

“But a little different, I guess.” Steve shrugged. “I found myself a great family. I have people in my corner. But I don’t have a focus at the moment. Looking after Winnie and helping you out, becoming friends with you, has given me a sense of purpose back.”

Bucky smiled. “Glad to know we’re both lonely bastards who adore a six-year-old.”

Steve huffed. The serious moment morphed into a funny story from Bucky’s work and then a funny story from Winnie’s day at school. They turned the TV on and watched a shitty movie, kicking and poking at each other and giggling like kids. But they understood each other better now. There was an understanding of how much they had both grown to cherish their friendship and the little bubble they had created.

It was good. Steve was content.

***

It was eleven pm on the fifth Thursday, Valentine’s Day, a week after they’d talked about Connie and their friendship when Steve shot out of bed. He found the sketchbook wedge in a cardboard box and found the pencils in another. He sat in the middle of the floor of his apartment, sketchbook resting on his knee as the pencil flew across the page and tears streamed down his cheeks.

It was cathartic.

He went shopping during the next day before he had to pick Winnie up after doing heaps of research on his laptop. He had an idea what he was doing but he wasn’t going to fuck it up. 

Winnie didn’t notice the bags on the kitchen bench which Steve was grateful for. How does one explain what he feels to a kid? 

He brushed those thoughts aside and set to work in the kitchen, checking up on Winnie painting every now and then.

One downside to looking after Winnie was being in the constant presence of creativity. Whilst some might not see the downside of that, Steve sometimes felt like he was suffocating. She was always painting, or drawing or building something. Using her imagination or memory and her hands to create something spectacular. It surrounded them and filled the apartment each day after school. He could sometimes feel it leaking into his own apartment through the vents and cracks under the door.

It always caused him to choke on the thoughts of himself being creative and getting back into drawing. It made his hands twitch and his heart clench. He just couldn’t bring himself to pick up a brush or a pencil, no matter how much he was inspired and motivated by watching Winnie. 

Until last night when he didn’t sleep but instead drew and cried.

He drew Peggy’s face, and the Howling Commandos each. He drew Nat and Tony and Sam and Clint and the others. He drew Brooklyn and the Compound, a hole in the sky and a helicarrier burning as it fell into a river. He drew Winnie and he drew Bucky smiling, cooking, sleeping, laughing. He filled an entire sketchbook with sketches of his life since 2012. 

He had Winnie and Bucky to thank for that. And that’s exactly what he intended to do.

The roast was just finishing in the oven when Bucky walked in. 

He went to greet them and closed the door behind him but snapped his jaw shut when he saw Steve in the kitchen.

Steve gave him a small smile. “Hey, Buck.”

Bucky’s face scrunched together into confusion as he kicked the door shut behind him. “What are you doing?”

“Cooking dinner.”

Bucky put his bag on the small space of the island bench that wasn’t covered in Steve’s stuff. His gaze darted from the knives and empty shopping bags to the skin of potatoes and carrots to the roast vegetables sizzling in a tray on the stove. “A roast?”

“Beef to be exact.” The timer went off behind Steve so he turned around and turned it off, taking the hot tray of roast beef out of the oven and setting in next to the vegetables.

Bucky made a shocked sound before rushing over to the oven and reopening the door. “Is that an apple pie?”

Steve blushed. “Yeah. Homemade. I made the pastry and everything.”

“What the fuck, _Steve_.”

“Can’t I cook a nice dinner for my neighbours?”

Bucky looked flustered. “I guess but-”

“Daddy!” They both looked to Winnie who was standing in the balcony door with her hands on her hips. “Hello! Did you forget about me?”

Bucky shot Steve a look that he wasn’t quite sure what it meant and walked over to Winnie, pulled into a conversation about her painting. Steve whistled as he cut up the roast and veggies, serving them onto plates and then placing them at their usual spots on the table.

He sat down and waited patiently for Bucky to help Winnie wash her hands. They both sat down at the table, Bucky looking terrified at the food and Winnie staring at it with wide eyes.

“Well, dig in. What are you waiting for?” Steve said, taking a piece of potato and shoving it in his mouth to try and distract him from the emotions flickering across Bucky’s face.

“Thanks, Steve!” Winnie cried before digging in with enthusiasm.

Bucky nodded and quietly started to eat. He seemed to be stuck in his own thoughts for a while, which caused Steve to retreat into his brain. Did he fuck it up? What did he do so wrong that it made Bucky uncomfortable? He cooked dinner all the time when he looked after Winnie, was it because it was a fancier meal than mac n cheese that had Bucky faltering? Was this the last time he would have dinner with the Barnes’?

Winnie didn’t notice the two men lost in their thoughts and filled the silence with her chitter-chatter. As she continued to talk, Bucky seemed to come to himself again and participated in the conversation more. This caused Steve to feel more relaxed and he let himself back into the conversation. However, his shoulders were still tense with fear.

Bucky acted more like himself for the rest of the night. He thanked Steve for his serving of apple pie and praised him for his cooking. They watched an episode of H2O Mermaids: Just Add Water because Winnie wanted to be a mermaid, and they did their usual goodnight routine. 

Instead of Steve getting their drinks like usual, Bucky pushed towards the couch and told him to sit. He joined Steve seconds later with two beers in his hand.

There was silence before Steve couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m sorry if I’ve overstepped somehow-”

“No,” Bucky cut him off, waving him away with his drink. “You didn’t overstep in any way. It was really sweet.”

“Oh.”

Another beat.

“What was this dinner really for, Steve?” 

Steve sighed, knowing that this was going to happen but still he struggled to string together words to make sense of how he was feeling. “I guess I wanted to just say thank you. I haven’t really been this content in a long long time. Yesterday, uh, was the first time I’ve drawn since New York.” 

“Oh?” Bucky turned to face him then, his face curious and friendly.

“Yeah. I drew a little bit after I got out of the ice, it was really the only thing tying me back to before. I stopped after New York though. I fell into Captain America duties and SHIELD and Avenging so much that I kind of lost who Steve Rogers was. It got really bad at one point. My friends had an intervention, forced me to take a month off of work and during that month I came to realise I had no fucking clue who I was without Captain America. It took that realisation, a serious talk with some close friends, and sessions with a therapist to realise I needed to put Cap away. For good. It was doing more harm than good, both to me and to the people I was trying to save. So I passed the shield to Sam, moved out of the Compound and came back home to Brooklyn.” 

“That’s really brave, Steve.” He put his beer down on the coffee table and placed his hand on Steve’s knee, squeezing it gently. “But how do Winnie and I fit in?” 

“I’ve, uh.” Steve chuckled, nervous bubbling in his stomach. “I’ve kind of been having a serious identity crisis recently. But being here, in Brooklyn, and having this friendship with you and Winnie has really helped me find Steve Rogers again.” At Bucky’s sceptical look, Steve laughed. “For example, art. Winnie’s been so into her finger painting it helped me find my passion for art again. I drew for the first time yesterday, Bucky. I did that. I spent all night drawing the things in life that matter to me. Art was such an important part of my life when I was younger and to have that back, God. You have no idea how much it means to me. And you. Uh, you make me happy.” 

Bucky grinned, his cheeks turning pink. “Aw, really, Stevie?” 

“Yeah, yeah, you do. With everyone else, I feel like I have to live up to this person that history has created and you fucking study history. You love it, but when I’m with you I feel like I can be me. Even if that person still doesn’t have a clue about who they are. You let me grow.”

“Did-did the Avengers not allow you to do that?” 

“I guess they didn’t,” Steve said slowly, focusing on Bucky’s thumb brushing over his knee. “The people on that team love me, they really do. They’re supportive and kind and care about me so much. They’re family. On the flip side to that, we are a team. And on that team, I’m the leader. I had to live up to that. And from the moment we’ve been a team, there hasn’t been much time to do much growing, and it’s not their fault. I do not blame them one bit.” 

Bucky hesitated for a moment before speaking. “You talk like Steve and Cap are two different people.” 

“Cause they are. I fell so deep into Cap that I forgot Steve and now I’m trying to find him again.”

“And I’m helping you do that?” 

“Sorry to put pressure on you, but yeah. You are.”

Out of all the reactions, Steve didn’t expect Bucky to laugh. But he did. He kind of fell back into the couch, his head thrown back in laughter. Steve watched with some amusement as Bucky tried to collect himself.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. I don’t know how to deal with emotions.”

Steve squeezed his hand. “Neither do I.”

Bucky suddenly turned calm again and removed his hand from Steve’s knee to rest on the side of Steve’s neck. Steve’s breath caught in his throat as he traced Bucky’s face with his eyes. God, he was beautiful. Steve could get lost in those eyes forever and he wouldn’t feel an ounce of sadness.

“Thank you, Stevie,” Bucky said softly. “It means a lot for you to say those things. I’m really happy that we’re helping you to grow and be happy. You really deserve it.”

“Thank _you_ , Bucky.”

Bucky rolled his eyes but used his hand on Steve’s neck to pull him closer for a hug. They stayed like that for a while, arms wrapped around each other, just holding and breathing in this connection they had built. 

Bucky pulled back first and turned to get his beer, sneakily wiping a tear from his face as he did so. Steve pretended not to notice. He was extremely close to crying too. He could feel it building behind his eyes.

“So,” Bucky said, turning to face him fully. Steve did the same so their legs were pressed together. “Tell me what you’ve learnt about yourself so far. I want to know more about Steve Rogers.” 

Steve grinned. “Well, I like going for jogs, mainly in the morning. I’m bisexual-“ 

Bucky choked on the swing of beer he had just taken, liquid dripping down his chin. Steve’s eyes widened in surprise, his heart starting to beat erratically. Was that a positive or negative response? When Steve went to reach out to clap Bucky on the back, Bucky shooed his hand away and gestured for him to continue. 

“-uh, I enjoy drawing and painting and I love to cook, even though I’m mediocre at it.” 

There was silence. 

“How long have you known?” Bucky whispered, eyes wide.

Steve thought it was an inappropriate time to joke about how Bucky’s reaction was to Steve’s confession about being mediocre at cooking and the Barnes’ had been lying to him about his cooking for weeks. “That I’m bisexual?” he asked instead, which Bucky nodded at. “Since the thirties. One thing I’m most sure about myself, actually.”

“Holy shit.” Bucky breathed.

“Bit of a shock for you?” Steve said apprehensively. Bucky didn’t seem like a homophobic jerk, but Steve had learnt from past experience not to trust first impressions as much as he wanted to. 

“Yeah, uh, yeah it is.” Bucky grinned and took another swing of beer. “It’s not every day you find out that your cute neighbour swings the same way as you.”

Steve froze, squeezing his bottle so hard it would have cracked if he hadn't forced himself to relax. Cute neighbour? _Swing the same way?_

“You’re-you’re bi?”

Bucky shook his head, a small smile on his face. “Gay, actually.”

Steve’s heart was beating erratically in his chest. “But Connie?”

“I was extremely drunk and sexuality is fluid anyway, not a constant,” Bucky said but then stopped. “It was completely consensual though.”

Steve noticed that he was catching flies and snapped his mouth shut. “Oh, uh, cool.”

“Cool?”

“Cool.” He shot Bucky a finger gun and then immediately regretted it, cringing away from his awkwardness.

Bucky laughed. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I didn’t think you were bi before this. I can totally see it now.”

Steve glared at him which made Bucky laugh even harder.

When they parted ways a few hours later, Bucky kissed him goodbye on the cheek. 

Steve was sure his face would remain like a tomato for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope i have written a six-year-old right?? i have little concept of children lol


	5. The sun is on my side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jeez, sorry! He deserves a night to himself.” Steve blushed.
> 
> “Did Bucky say that?” Sam asked. “Did Bucky explicitly say that he wants a night alone?”
> 
> “Well, no, but-”
> 
> “Invite him to come tonight.”
> 
> “What?” Steve spluttered.
> 
> “Invite Bucky to the Compound tonight.”
> 
> “You’re crazy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Pocketful of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield
> 
> 1/3 of the way there, everybody! Bucky meets the family and something might happen between him and Steve ;)

Steve woke up thinking of Bucky a week later. Snippets of the dream he had about him and Bucky were still floating around in his brain, short-circuiting his breathing.

He jerked himself off, trying desperately not to think of steel blue eyes and pink lips, but failed miserably in the end. He left his bed guilty and cleaned himself up before slipping into his running gear and getting his music ready to head out for a very long run. 

He was just about to put his wireless Stark Earphones on when there was a knock on the door. He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion but opened the door anyway.

“Oh.” A soft gasp fell from his lips when he saw Bucky on the other side of the door, Winnie jumping around behind him.

“Good morning,” Bucky mumbled, a hand running down his face as Winnie squealed and kicked the air. “I had something to tell you but I’ve lost it, give me a second.”

Steve nodded and leant against the door frame, crossing his arms and looking at a tired Bucky trying to wade through his thoughts in amusement. Winnie continued to kick and jump behind her dad and soon Steve realised she was kicking and punching imaginary enemies. Steve watched her too, laughing at the contrast between the two. 

Bucky groaned and brushed a hair through his hair. “Winnie, could you please keep quiet for a few minutes to let me think?” 

Steve’s focus went back to him and what he was wearing. He was back in his navy blue suit for work, left sleeve pinned and bag hanging over his shoulder. Instead of the white shirt he had been wearing last time, this was a white buttoned-down shirt with a navy tie with little colourful flowers and leaves pattern. He looked good, as always.

Winnie rolled her eyes behind him but stopped moving about and stood next to him. 

“Has he had his morning coffee yet?” Steve asked Winnie.

Winnie shook her head. “Nope. None left this morning. He gets super duper crazy when he has no coffee.”

Bucky scoffed and closed his eyes. “It was something important that I needed to tell you.”

Steve raised his eyebrows at him and then looked to Winnie. She was rolling her eyes again.

“Steve,” she said seriously, all mocking gone from her face. Steve straightened up automatically and focused on her. “I don’t need you to pick me up today. I’m going to Lucy’s house for a sleepover straight after school.”

“Oh,” Steve said, his shoulders slumping as Bucky snapped his fingers.

“Yes!” He said, eyes flying open and landing on Steve. “That’s what I had to tell you. Lucy’s ma is taking both the girls straight from school so you’ve got the night off.”

Steve didn’t say anything but just nodded his head.

Bucky’s eyes softened. “Thanks anyway, we can still have dinner, if you want?”

Steve’s heart leapt at the opportunity but his head stayed calm. “Nah, it’s okay. You can have the night to yourself. You deserve some alone time.”

Bucky looked like he wanted to protest but Winnie grabbed his hand. “Awesome! Let’s go to school, I’m going to be late.” She waved at Steve to bend down, which he did. She placed a kiss on his cheek. “Bye, Steve! I’ll be thinking about you tonight.”

“No, you won’t be.” Steve sniffed, fake crying. “You’ll be having fun with your friend.”

She patted his cheek. “Yes, but I’ll also be thinking about you cause you are my friend too!”

Steve grinned. “Okay. Have a good day at school.”

“You too!”

She shot off down the stairs, leaving her dad standing at the door. 

Bucky opened his mouth to say something but closed it. He gave Steve a small smile. “Have a good day.”

“You too, Buck.” He said softly.

Bucky nodded, hesitated, then walked after his daughter.

Steve watched him go before closing his door, resting his forehead on the door and letting out a whine. Scratch having fun and being happy tonight, Steve was going to wallow in the dark alone.

Not wanting to focus on negative thoughts, he grabbed his phone and got ready for his run.

He spent all morning outside, running in different parks and walking around the city, listening to his music and not thinking about Bucky or Winnie. When he got back to his apartment, he felt his phone buzz.

He rolled his eyes. It had been buzzing a bit on his run which only meant his friends were talking on the Avengers chat. He opened his phone and scrolled to the top of the messages he had missed this morning.

 **Tony Stark:** _BYO your own booze tonight losers. You’re done freeloading off me._

**Clint Barton:** _You do realise that the majority of the people in this chat live in the same building as you and own the alcohol here just as much as you._

**Peter Parker:** _And some of us can’t drink anyway._

**Tony Stark:** _One, don’t even bother Underoos I’m not letting you drink and two, fuck off Clint. I pay for everything, don’t I?_

**Sam Wilson:** _Shut up, all of you._

**Nat Romanoff:** _I second that._

**Peter Parker:** _Even me?_

**Nat Romanoff:** _Of course not, baby spider. You’re the only one here I can tolerate._

**Clint Barton:** _What?_

**Wanda Maximoff:** _Harsh, Nat._

**Tony Stark:** _Excuse me?_

**Peter Parker:** _Aw thanks Nat uwu._

**Clint Barton:** _Take your uwu’s somewhere else and shove them up your ass._

**Tony Stark:** _Hey! That’s my kid!_

**Sam Wilson:** _Honestly, kill me now. I just want to know what’s for dinner at this stupid thing._

Steve frowned.

**Steve Rogers:** _What stupid thing?_

**Clint Barton:** _OMG!_

**Peter Parker:** _You’ve just put a knife in my heart mister steve rogers sir._

**Tony Stark:** _I’m extremely hurt_

**Nat Romanoff:** _Nearly two whole months of not living with us and you’ve forgotten about us already, Rogers?_

**Sam Wilson:** _Ignore those jerks. It’s the monthly Avengers catch up tonight, remember?_

**Steve Rogers:** _Oh, yeah._

Steve’s phone lit up with an incoming call from Sam. He accepted.

“Did you seriously forget?”

Steve sighed. “Yeah, sorry. Friday’s were Winnie nights.”

“Were?”

“She’s got a sleepover tonight. Bucky came and told me this morning so I’m not needed.”

“That sucks.”

He flopped down on the couch. “Yeah. Bucky invited me for dinner anyways but I said no. Give him the night off.”

Sam scoffed. “Unbelievable. You get the chance to finally be alone with this guy and you don’t take it?”

“Jeez, sorry! He deserves a night to himself.” Steve blushed.

“Did Bucky say that?” Sam asked. “Did Bucky explicitly say that he wants a night alone?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Invite him to come tonight.”

“What?” Steve spluttered.

“Invite Bucky to the Compound tonight.”

“You’re crazy.”

Steve could practically see Sam rolling his eyes. “You’re not crazy enough when it comes to these situations. Say he doesn’t want to go, that’s okay. At least you gave it a shot. But if he says yes, then you get to spend the night with him and your family. He might need to get out of that apartment. From what you’ve told me, it seems his only focus in life is his daughter and his work. He might need some friends.”

“And those friends will be the fucking Avengers?”

“I like to think we’re good people.”

Steve sighed, rubbing his forehead as he thought it over. He really wanted to spend some time with his friends, and with Bucky. And Bucky didn’t explicitly say that he wanted some alone time tonight. Maybe he would like to go. Nerves shot through him at the thought though.

“Fine. I’ll call Bucky and ask if he wants to come.”

“Atta boy.”

“But there will be no extremes tonight if he does, do you understand? No crazy Avenging things and no embarrassing stories.”

Steve could hear the smile in Sam’s voice. “You want us to act like a normal, white picket fence family?”

Steve thought of the people in said family and the metres high fence with barb wire that surrounded their property. “Fine. Tell everyone to tone down everything, but I know it will be impossible anyway.”

“I’m glad you’ve learnt. Go ask your boy!”

And Sam hung up before Steve could even tell him that Bucky isn’t ‘his boy’.

Steve sat there for a moment thinking about whether he should do this before deciding that if he didn’t do it now, he was sure to back out. He checked the clock and saw that it was close to lunchtime. Bucky might be on a break.

With shaky fingers, Steve pressed the call button next to Bucky’s name. 

It rang three times before he picked up. “Steve?”

Steve grinned. “Hey, Bucky. How are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good.” There was some rustling on the other end. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good.” Steve licked his lips. “I was actually calling to ask you if you wanted to come out with me tonight?”

A beat. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. The Avengers do this monthly catch up thing and it’s tonight. I totally forgot about it so it’s kinda good that Winnie’s out tonight. Would you like to come with me?”

There was a long pause where Steve nearly had to check whether the call had disconnected. “To meet the Avengers?”

Steve shrugged. “To meet my friends. If you want to be alone tonight, that’s cool. I just thought I’d ask. We have dinner, maybe a movie-”

“Yes,” Bucky said. “Yes. I’d like to meet your friends.”

“Oh.” Steve let out a breath. “Awesome. That’s awesome. You’ll come home at the same time as usual?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool. If you get home, change really quickly and then we head out we should make it for a late dinner. I’ll tell them what time we’ll get there.”

“Wow, okay, sure.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

“I, uh, better let you get back to work. Thanks for saying yes.”

“Thanks for inviting me.”

“Bye, Buck.”

“Bye, Stevie.”

***

Bucky is freaking out. 

He couldn’t concentrate in his last classes for the day, stumbling over the Cuban Missile Crisis like a _fool._ His kids snickered at him and corrected him in good spirits, but Bucky did not care. Steve has asked him to meet his friends and family. The _fucking Avengers_. 

One of his students, Susan Bishop, came up to him after class and asked if he was okay.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay. Thanks, Susan.”

“You sure, Professor Barnes? You seem like the kinda guy who wouldn’t get JFK and Stalin confused.”

“Just got something on my mind.”

Susan nodded and gave him a small smile. “Well, I hope everything works out.”

 _Me too, Susan,_ Bucky thought, _me too._

He continued to freak out on the subway home. He was going to meet the Avengers. Sometimes he couldn’t even handle being around Steve and now he was expected to hang out with the entire team of superheroes and insanely hot people? He continued to replay the moment when Steve said he wanted to ask him out. His heart had started to beat rapidly because he thought Steve was _asking him out_. On a date. And then it had fallen when Steve started talking about the Avengers, even though it shouldn’t have because it was the _Avengers._

Even with disappointment swirling in his gut that he and Steve wouldn’t be spending alone time together on a date, Bucky couldn’t help the small smile from gracing his lips on the walk from the subway station to the apartment building. He was going out with a friend to meet other friends. He wouldn’t be working or looking after Winnie. He could have a drink if he wanted, be stupid and free. He sometimes felt like he hadn’t had fun in years.

Of course, Winnie was fun. And sometimes Becca would come over and have fun. Steve was fun and Bucky was pathetically happy when Steve was around. But he hadn’t gone out of the apartment with friends with the purpose of having fun in years. Since before the army, he thought. 

What he had told Steve the other night was true. He didn’t have friends. No one from high school, his unit, or work. He could have, though. He could make the effort to make friends with people he had a connection with, but something always held him back. He couldn’t leave Winnie alone. What if something happened to her? 

Steve was waiting out the front of their doors when Bucky got up the stairs. A grin broke out across his beautiful face, making Bucky smile and blush in return. He was leaning against the wall between their doors, hands in the pockets of his black jeans. The soft grey sweater he was wearing stretched across his chest, and the dark blue bomber jacket hugged his arms.

Bucky would die before he even met the Avengers at this rate. Killed by Steve Rogers’ good looks. Not a bad way to go, he thought honestly.

“Hiya, Buck.”

“Hey, Steve.” Bucky fished his key from the pocket of his laptop bag and unlocked his door. “Give me a sec, I’ll get changed super quickly.”

He quickly walked into the apartment, dumping his bag on the bench and getting out his laptop which he put on charge in his bedroom. He quickly got out of his suit and shrugged on blue skinny jeans, a white t-shirt, red hoodie and a leather jacket because it was chilly outside. He put on some sneakers and walked out into the living room, rolling his left sleeve gently. He went to grab his keys on the kitchen island but stopped short at the two tins of coffee sitting there innocently.

“Steve?” He called out, eyes on the coffee.

Steve stuck his head through the front door. “Yes?”

“What’s this?”

Steve walked over and stood next to Bucky. _God, he smelt great._ “Coffee?”

“Yes.” Bucky turned to Steve and pointed at the coffee. “What’s it doing here?”

“Winnie said you didn’t have any coffee left this morning and I thought you’d be too busy to buy some so, uh, I did.”

“You bought me coffee?” Bucky whispered.

Steve blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah. Is that okay?”

Bucky nodded, eyes a little wide and brain full of static as he placed the coffee which was his favourite, Steve must have seen it in the cupboard before and remembered, in the cupboard. He walked back over to Steve and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Steve’s face turned even redder. Bucky could feel the heat on his face too.

“That was really sweet of you, Steve. Thank you.”

“No-no problem.”

They stood close to each other for a few moments, their eyes flickering over each other's face which were still red. God, Bucky’s heart was melting. Steve bought him coffee. 

Steve startled and took a step back, bringing Bucky back to the present. “Right. Yep. We should leave.”

“Oh,” Bucky said, suddenly remembering what they were doing tonight. “Yes. That’s a good idea.”

Steve hesitated, looking at Bucky before turning and walking out the door. Bucky grabbed his phone, keys and wallet and followed suit. They walked silently down the stairs, Bucky following Steve and letting his eyes follow the man's shoulders the whole way. He didn’t let himself feel guilty. They walked out of the building, a cold wave of winter air making Bucky shiver slightly and stopped on the sidewalk.

“How are you with motorcycles?” Steve asked.

Bucky whipped his head around. “Motorcycle?”

Steve nodded towards a bike parked a building down from their own. “Yeah, that’s mine there. I was gonna drive us to the Compound on it.”

Steve must have mistaken Bucky’s speechless for fear because he placed a hand on Bucky’s good shoulder. “I promise I’ll be safe. You have nothing to worry about.”

Bucky nodded. He was not speechless because of fear. He had actually ridden a motorcycle a couple of times and he had dealt with scarier things, such as war. He was speechless because _Steve_ rode a _motorcycle_ and Bucky may have discovered a new kink. Holy shit.

Steve gave him a small smile and Bucky was forever grateful he couldn’t read minds because he would run for the hills if he heard a snippet of the dirty thoughts rolling through Bucky’s head at that moment. Bucky followed Steve silently to the bike, who gave Bucky a helmet before placing one on his head as well. The dad half of Bucky was very glad for the safety of the helmet and Steve’s intelligence. The gay half of Bucky was very excited to see Steve’s helmet hair. 

Steve swung a leg over the bike and sat down. Bucky was very glad for the noise of New York City on a Friday night otherwise Steve would have heard the very embarrassing squeak that came out of his mouth. Bucky sat down behind Steve, pressed very close.

Steve turned his head a little so Bucky could hear him properly. “You can put your arms around me. Don’t be afraid to hold tightly, bruises don’t last long on my skin.” Bucky could hear the smirk in his voice. “I’ve handled worse things, too.”

For that, Bucky pinched the side of Steve’s waist and was extremely glad when he jumped and let out a startled shout. “Uh-huh, Rogers.” Bucky slipped his hand around Steve’s waist, resting it on his stomach. “I believe you.”

“I’m ticklish!” Steve protested as he turned the car on and pulled out onto the ride.

The drive was a blur of the sound of wind and cars honking, the rush of lights and trees and the feeling of being pressed extremely close to Steve’s back, Bucky’s hand resting on his stomach the entire ride, only gripping lightly when they turned corners. Bucky took calming breaths periodically for the entire drive, trying to settle both his butterflies and nervousness for the night ahead and his arousal towards Steve.

He was still feeling nervous when Steve pulled up to a security guard who opened the gate. Steve drove in and went around to the back of the very large building, pulling into a garage. Bucky watched around with wide eyes, taking everything in. His eyes rested on the large A next to the elevator when he got off the bike.

Steve came up and stood next to him, sighing and looking at the A with Bucky. “Nothing to be nervous about, Buck. Just think of them as regular people.”

Bucky scoffed, spinning around and poking Steve in the shoulder. “Normal people, Stevie? One can literally read my mind with her voodoo powers and another could kill me with a pen alone.”

Steve smirked. “Nat could kill you with a paperclip if she wanted.”

“Not helpful!”

The smirk on Steve’s ridiculously handsome face morphed into a small, reassuring smile. He placed his hand on Bucky’s bicep and squeezed. “Really, Buck. I know you’re nervous, and they are crazy, but I’ll be there the entire time.”

Bucky let out a breath and closed his eyes, gathering himself for a moment before opening them again. Steve was still smiling at him.

“Just be your awesome self. How could they not like you?”

Bucky blushed, feeling his nerves settle at Steve’s word. He’d be there the entire time, and if you took away some of the crazy shit, these people are still humans. And they mattered to Steve. 

“I’m good.” 

Steve grinned. “Good.”

Bucky felt weighted by Steve’s hand on the small of his back as he led them to the elevator, which opened straight away without them having to press a button. Bucky’s confusion was addressed when the ceiling started talking.

“Welcome back, Captain Rogers.”

Steve smiled as Bucky jumped, instinctively pressing himself closer to Steve. Steve just slipped an arm around Bucky’s shoulders. “Thanks, Friday.” Steve squeezed Bucky’s shoulder. “That’s Friday. She’s the AI that runs the building. Tony created her.”

“Oh wow,” Bucky looked up at the ceiling with wide eyes. “Hello, Friday.”

“Hello, Professor Barnes. Captain Wilson informed me that you would be in attendance tonight.”

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded. “Wow, hi. You can call me Bucky.”

“Of course, Bucky.”

Suddenly the doors opened and they were faced with a large living area. The elevator was so smooth Bucky didn’t even notice they were moving. Steve squeezed his shoulder again before letting his arm drop and stepping out into the living area.

Bucky followed suit and watched with his heart in his throat as heads and faces turned to them. _Holy Shit_. A lot of people were looking at them. There was Scarlet Witch and Vision, and oh wow, Black Widow. Captain America, Thor and Bruce Banner too. Wow. Okay. Cool.

A lean guy with scruffy blonde hair wearing black yoga pants and a large green hoodie, who Bucky quickly realised was Clint Barton, aka _fucking Hawkeye_ , came rushing over first, wrapping his arms around Steve. Steve hugged him back, laughing. “Oh my god, Steve! I missed you so fucking much, man.”

Steve pulled back from the hug and patted Clint Barton on the shoulder. “Missed you too, Clint.”

Clint leaned towards Steve. “These guys are crazy. Can I move in with you?”

“We’re the crazy ones, Barton?” Came another voice from the kitchen right next to the living room. _Tony Stark’s_ voice.

“Fuck off, Tony!” Clint turned around and flipped _Tony_ _Stark_ off.

Tony Stark rolled his eyes. He wasn’t wearing any sunglasses or a suit, but a band t-shirt and tracksuit pants. Bucky nearly didn’t recognise him visually. “Move out of the way, bird guy. I wanna see the mysterious Bucky Barnes.”

Bucky gulped as Clint stepped back and suddenly everyone's focus was on him.

“Right,” Steve cleared his throat and placed a hand on Bucky’s back. “Everyone, this is Bucky. Bucky this is Clint, Tony, Pepper-”

Bucky laughed, waving Steve off. “That’s okay. I think I’ve got everyone's names.”

There was a beat of silence before everyone started to move towards them. Steve stepped in front of Bucky, putting his hands up to halt everyone. “Jesus Christ, guys. Calm down. He’s not fresh meat for you to tear apart. One at a time please.”

Some of the Avengers rolled their eyes and took a step back. Sam Wilson stepped forward first. Captain America. One of Steve’s best friends.

“Sam Wilson,” He smiled, a gap in his front teeth softening his intimidating everything. “Nice to meet you, Bucky.”

Bucky shook his hand. “Nice to meet you too.”

“Me next!” Clint Barton pushed Sam out of the way who collided with Steve. Steve steadied him but Bucky’s attention was drawn to the man in front of him. “Hi, I’m Clint.”

“Hey,” Bucky said, shaking his hand too. 

Bucky shook Wanda Maximoff’s hand next, then Vision and then Bruce freaking Banner. Thor picked him up in a hug and spun him around, laughing as Bucky squeaked and Steve tried to rescue him.

“Glad to meet the man that my friend Steve Rogers’ is hiding us from!”

“Thor!” Steve squeaked.

Bucky watched in amusement as Steve punched Thor in the arm, who turned around and pushed him in the shoulder. Steve’s eyes widened and he turned around and Bucky was about to see what would happen next when he jumped six-foot, startled by a voice behind him.

“Don’t worry about them, they’re all idiots.” 

Bucky spun around and came face to face with Natasha Romanoff. He sucked in a breath and she held out her hand and he shook it. She was wearing black yoga pants and a large green hoodie just like Clint but she didn’t look any less intimidating than if she were training a gun on him.

“I’m glad you could come, Bucky. You can call me Natasha.”

Bucky attempted a charming smile but he was sure he failed. He felt like Natasha’s eyes were picking him apart. He was sure by the end of the ten minutes she would have figured out his whole life story. “I’m glad I’m here too, Natasha.”

She smiled at him, like she liked him, and rolled her eyes as a voice cut through the noise behind them.

“Why is the attention not on me? Everyone move out of the way!” 

Bucky turned around and he was looking at Tony Stark.

“Hi.” He said, sticking out his hand. Bucky was never going to wash his hand again after this night. “You know who I am.”

Bucky shook his hand. “Justin Hammer, right?”

There was a beat of silence before the room burst into laughter. He felt Natasha pat him on the shoulder and he saw Steve tilt his head back, gripping his chest as he laughed right next to Sam and Thor. Tony’s mouth was open, his eyes wide. Bucky was smiling.

Tony sniffed, taking his hand from Bucky’s and wiping his chin. “Wow. I’m hurt. You wound me, Bucky bear.”

Bucky grinned at him and soon Tony’s face was splitting with a smile too. He turned around and patted Steve on the shoulder. “I like him.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, he’s pretty great.” 

The crowd slowly moved to the large plush couches, people taking their spots. It seemed like they all had a specific spot and Bucky panicked for a second before Steve pulled him down to sit next to him. 

Colonel Rhodes came over to Bucky and shook his hand. “You’re officially one of my favourite people now. That was amazing.”

Bucky nodded as Tony cried out from the kitchen. “Thanks, Colonel Rhodes.”

“Call me Rhodey.”

Bucky’s breath was knocked out of him as Pepper fucking Potts came and stood next to Rhodey and shook Bucky’s hand too. 

“Hello, Bucky. Nice to meet you, I’m Pepper.”

Bucky nodded and smiled, too shocked to speak. 

“Would you like something to drink?”

“Just a glass of water.” Bucky managed to get out. Pepper smiled at him as Rhodey went to get the drink. Bucky gasped. “I’m so sorry! I had a full day of classes. I should have brought something.”

She waved him away, sitting down on the couch next to Natasha. “Oh, don’t worry about it.”

Tony appeared out of nowhere, sitting down next to Pepper and putting an arm around her waist. “Classes?”

Steve leaned forward next to Bucky, pressing their shoulders together. “Bucky is an Associate Professor of Twentieth Century History.”

Bucky felt himself blush as numerous people nodded or smiled at him. How did a professor of history compare with being a freaking Avenger?

Clint draped his legs across Natasha’s lap, who only rolled her eyes. “Woah. You have a smart boyfriend, Cap.”

Bucky felt Steve stiffen next to him but then Sam sat down on his other side, wrapped an arm around Bucky and pulled him closer. “Why thank you, Clint. He’s also very hot.”

Bucky laughed as Steve spluttered next to him, laughter filling the room. Rhodey came over and gave him his glass of water before sitting down next to Tony, who removed his arm around Pepper and instead wrapped it around Rhodey. He and Pepper only rolled their eyes but indulged him. 

“Is that everyone, then?” Wanda asked.

Tony’s eyes scanned the room before he shook his head. “Friday, babe?”

“Yes, sir?” The Irish voice replied.

“Can you please tell the child that he needs to get out of his room and come out here and be a member of this family like he’s supposed to be?”

“Sure thing, boss.”

Bucky turned to Steve, his face scrunched up in confusion. “Child?”

Steve rolled his eyes, leaning back into the couch. “Tony just likes to tease him.”

“I mean, he is a child,” Sam said.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Technically he is a teenager, bordering on ‘young adult’.”

Tony waved his hands in the air. “Nope, nope, nope. He is a child and remains a child forever. He will never become an adult.”

Pepper patted his hair soothingly. “Sure thing, baby. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Tony sniffed and whatever he was going to say next was interrupted by a kid running into the room from a hallway. “I’m here! I’m here!”

He skidded to a half right in front of the large TV, pulling a hoodie over his head. His head poked out, big brown eyes alight, brown hair sticking up everywhere. He grinned at them, everyone looking at him with either amusement, fondness or exasperation. Bucky was the only one confused.

A child? A part of the Avenger’s family? Was he one of their kids? Bucky tried to recollect what he had seen on the news in the past week or, uh, sixteen or so years depending on the kid's age. He couldn’t remember anything about Tony Stark possibly having a kid, but they did look similar.

Bucky decided to play it safe. He leant a little closer to Steve and whispered. “Is this kid an Avenger?” 

He must not have been that quiet or maybe he was and they’re all superheroes or something because they all turned to look at him with panic. Bucky stayed still, shoulder pressed against Steve’s, eyes a little wide as every single Avenger and this kid looked at him. Tony seemed to recover first.

“No, no.” He coughed, waving to the kid who took a few steps forward. “This is Peter Parker, an intern.” 

Peter waved at Bucky before sitting down on the floor, his head between Tony and Pepper’s legs. “Nice to meet you, Mr Barnes.” 

Bucky blinked. _What the fuck?_ “Wow. You’re a pretty special intern if you’ve got your own bedroom in the Avengers compound and Tony Stark says you’re a part of the family.” 

“Aw, Mr Stark, do you consider me family?” Peter grinned, turning his body so he could face Tony better.

Tony glared at him, waving his hands around in an exasperated manner. “Did we not just have a discussion last week about how you’re the big brother to my unborn baby and I see you as my kid?” 

There was a beat of silence before all hell broke loose.

“Holy shit!” 

“You’re pregnant, Pepper?”

“Oh my god!” 

“Tony,” Pepper’s surprised yell caused everyone else to quiet down. “We weren’t going to tell anyone for a couple more weeks!” 

Tony, all shock on his face replaced with joy, shrugged. “Oh fuck it, Pep. Let’s rip the bandaid off.” He grinned at everyone. “Pepper’s pregnant and I’m retiring.” 

It seemed like everyone jumped off the couch but Bucky sat there with wide eyes, panic pumping through his veins. “I feel like I shouldn’t be here for this.” He whispered.

Sam bumped his shoulder, smiling. “Trust me, man, we’ve had mandatory family nights much more dramatic than this.”

Bucky huffed.

The night continued on without much more dramatics. They order pizza, so much fucking pizza it was ridiculous, and all sat down in their respective seats. They discussed the baby and Tony’s retirement, the grins never leaving Tony or Pepper’s face as they argued over baby names. Tony asked Bucky questions about Winnie and raising her, the entire team listening to him telling millions of stories about her without looking bored, even laughing and telling him similar stories in return from their missions.

They bantered with Bucky, joked with him, talked seriously with him. He found that throughout the night he had individual conversations with all of them. They found things that they had in common. He and Clint both loved coffee and dogs, he and Natasha talked for ages about weaponry in past decades, he and Sam traded stories of dumb shit Steve had done in their presence. 

After eating, they put on a movie. They let Steve decide because it was the first time he’d been back since he’d moved out. Steve let Bucky decide and no one complained when he chose Wayne’s World. They loved it, even. 

After the movie, Friday put some background music on, a few people getting up to dance and sing along. Bucky found himself with a beer as he moved throughout the group with and sometimes without Steve, feeling the pleasant buzz of alcohol and fun. He understood what Steve told him about these people. They were a weird family that poked fun at each other with love in their voices.

There was a moment where Bucky found himself alone for the first time and was able to step back and look at the people he had found himself with. It was hard to comprehend, but so was the fact that he had dinner with ex-Captain America multiple times a week.

When he joined Natasha and Pepper on the makeshift dance floor which was just a rug between the kitchen island and couch, he was hit with the sudden realisation that no one had said anything about his arm. No one had stared at it with an open mouth and asked him questions on it. Their eyes had lingered for a beat or two, hardly recognisable, just like they would on someone's shirt or hair. Cataloguing it as part of the person like they were probably trained to do.

The only time someone had asked him about it was when he had found himself talking to Tony who asked, “You ever thought of a bionic arm?”

Bucky shook his head and Tony hummed but didn’t bring it up again. 

It felt good. Bucky supposed it was because they had seen worse things, experienced and knew people who had lost more than a limb. For fucks sake, Vision was a glorified toaster. It was extremely ironic that he felt _normal_ with these people. These people who were enhanced, could fly and summon lightning, could turn into a massive green guy with anger issues.

Steve definitely helped. Whenever they found themselves together, he pressed close to Bucky, put his hand on Bucky’s lower back, leaned towards him. Smiled at him, turned his body towards him almost unconsciously. He made sure Bucky was okay throughout the night, made sure we weren't being harassed or threatened, made sure he was having fun. 

He told his friends about Bucky proudly, talked about Winnie as if she had hung the moon herself. Told them about babysitting and cooking dinner together shyly at first, but after some positive encouragement, grinned and puffed out his chest, proud. 

There was an interesting occurrence that happened throughout the night, at the end of each conversation he had with every single person. They would smile at him, maybe put their hand on his shoulder or his arm, squeeze it, maybe their eyes would soften and find Steve on the other side of the room, and say something along the lines of “I’m glad you and Steve have become friends”, “I haven’t seen him this happy in ages”, “You’re good for him, Buckaroo”, “Be careful with him. I can tell he cares about you”, “Thanks, Bucky. For giving him a chance and seeing him as Steve”. 

It filled Bucky with warmth. First, because Steve had so, _so_ many people that cared about him. And second, because _he_ was the reason Steve was happy again. His presence in Steve’s life was making a difference so much so that his closest friends could tell. He felt almost giddy with the feeling. He wanted this to keep going, this friendship, even if it didn’t turn into anything more. Bucky would be okay with that, no matter how desperately he might want Steve to kiss him because he had a friend and he was making that friend happy.

It was late when Steve suggested they head out.

“Aw come, on, Spangles!” Tony cried, prying himself from a sleeping Thor and walking over to where Steve and Bucky were talking. “Stay the night. Your room is still here.”

Bucky blushed, heart jumping that Tony hadn’t mentioned a guest room for Bucky. 

“No, Tony,” Steve patted his friend on the shoulder. “We really should head back into the city. Bucky still has Winnie.”

Tony huffed. “Why did I decide to become a parent when all children do is suck the life out of everything?”

Peter’s head stuck out from the conversation he was having with Wanda and Natasha. “Hey!”

Tony blew him a kiss. 

The rest of the gang formed a group around the elevator. Bucky was happy to note that his status had been updated from ‘weird friend of Steve’s’ to ‘friend’ when all the Avengers gave him hugs goodbye. He thanked them profusely for having him but everyone waved him off, welcoming him back anytime. It seemed like they actually meant it. 

“You should come to our six-month catch-ups,” Tony said.

Bucky cocked his head to the side, confused. “Six months?”

“This is only half the Avengers, Buck-Buck,” Tony patted him on the cheek. “Every six months _all_ of the Avengers get together.”

Bucky smirked. “Like the glowing space lady, Carol Danvers, that Steve wasn’t supposed to tell me about?”

Steve squawked behind him but Bucky just grinned.

Tony blinked and then recovered, smirking. “Yes, exactly like Carol that Steve wasn’t _allowed_ to tell you about.”

“Well, I definitely won’t mention the racoon, tree or scary green space lady either.”

Tony laughed.

Sam gave him a really tight hug and when he pulled back he kept his hands on Bucky’s shoulders. “It was really nice to meet you, Bucky.”

He nodded. “Nice to meet you too, Sam.” Bucky felt Steve step up behind him. “And thanks for telling me about Steve in Auckland.”

Steve made that noise again when he was shocked. “Sam! You told Bucky about that?”

Sam slipped an arm around Bucky’s shoulder. “I didn’t just _tell_ Bucky about it. I showed him the photos _and_ videos.”

Steve groaned, watching Bucky and Sam exchange smirks. “You two are going to be the death of me.”

Almost as if they were the same person being controlled by strings, both Sam and Bucky patted Steve on the cheek. Steve flushed, squinting at them. They just laughed.

The last person Bucky spoke to before leaving was Natasha. She gave him a quick hug which he guessed was pretty special for a first time meeting with her. She gave him a closed-lip smile.

“Take care of him, okay?”

Bucky nodded, throat dry.

“And tell Winnie I say hi.”

Bucky squeaked, eyes a little wide as she laughed and joined her family again on the couch. Steve placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You okay, Buck?”

“Yep, yep, yep,” Bucky nodded, turning around and following Steve into the elevator. “Totally fine. I’m okay. Not like Black Widow knows who my daughter is or anything.”

Steve grinned. “Winnie is going to freak!”

Bucky nearly fell over from the sudden wave of affection towards this man. Natasha Romanoff was literally his surrogate sister and he still expressed genuine excitement for Winnie, as if he didn’t know Natasha and was just a normal neighbour. He had opened his family life to Bucky without hesitation, welcomed their friendship with open arms and was so supportive and caring towards Winnie.

Bucky had never wanted to kiss him more than right then.

Maybe except the moment where he’d gotten home, tired from a long day, only to find Steve cooking a roast and chatting to Winnie like he was a part of their family.

It was a tie. 

Steve held his hand as they walked to his motorcycle and he drove them back to their apartment building. The wind was blowing in their faces but it wasn’t enough to wipe the smile off Bucky’s face. Steve parked his bike in the same spot from before, putting their helmets away safely. Bucky brushed his hands through his hair to tame the wild curls as they walked back to their floor.

“Did you have fun?” Steve asked as they climbed the stairs.

Bucky huffed. “It was the most fun I’ve had with other people in ages. Your family is amazing.”

Steve flushed, looking at Bucky out of the corner of his eyes bashfully. “Really? They didn’t overwhelm you too much?”

“Nah, they’re alright. Crazy and weird but normal and good.”

Steve sighed. “Good. I’m really glad.”

They both stepped onto their landing, coming to a stop out the front of their respective doors. They were standing close, close enough for Bucky to put his hand on Steve’s chest if he wanted to. They were smiling at each other, Bucky still feeling a little buzz from the drink he had.

“I’d invite you in for a drink,” Bucky tilted his head to his door. “But it’s late.”

Steve gave him a small nod. “I understand.”

“Thank you for inviting me tonight,” Bucky whispered. “It means a lot that you wanted me to meet your family.”

“Thanks for coming,” Steve’s eyes flickered down to Bucky’s lips who instantly licked them. Steve followed the movement. “I’m really happy you were there.”

“Me too.”

Pulled by gravity or some other unknown force, they both leant in, breaths mingling. Bucky’s eyes locked onto Steve’s lips. Biting his own before flickering back up to Steve’s eyes. His pupils were larger, a glint Bucky had only seen in a few times sparkling in the hallway light. Bucky’s heart sped up as he got on his tops toes, leaning in, feeling Steve’s breath on his lips and-

He jerked back, taking a step away from Steve, his arm immediately coming to wrap around his stomach protectively. Steve blinked but didn’t say anything, taking a step away from Bucky, adding further distance between the two.

Bucky could hear his blood pumping, fear clogging his throat. Panicking, he shot Steve a small smile, trying to put as much comfort into his gaze to try and get rid of the confusion and hurt in Steve’s eyes. 

“Thanks again, Steve.” He croaked, fishing his keys out of his pocket and unlocking his door. “Goodnight.” He said quickly before walking in and slamming the door behind him.

He gasped, falling back on his door and hanging his head, taking a few calming breaths to try and ease his heart rate. He pushed his hair back, closing his eyes as he softly swore. “Fucking coward.” He groaned, hearing Steve close his door. “Idiot, Barnes. Fucking idiot.”

Steve was going to kiss him, and he chickened out. 

Bucky went to bed after peeling himself out of his clothes, glad he didn’t need to worry about Winnie until lunchtime tomorrow. He flopped down into his bed, wrapping the blankets around him so he was a snuggly burrito. He fell asleep with a frown on his face and the ghost of Steve’s lips on his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #sorrynotsorry hehe
> 
> i can't express how happy i am whenever i read your comments, thank you so much for taking the time to read this little (HA) fic, it means the world <3


	6. Got a pocketful of sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve’s lips twitched as he kissed Bucky’s head again. “I’m always here if you need me. Even if it’s as small as looking after your daughter for a night.” 
> 
> Bucky pulled back from the hug, smirking. “Does that mean you’d start a revolution for me if I asked?”
> 
> Yes. “Depends. Who are we revolting against?”
> 
> “The tea business.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this may be my favourite chapter i love it so much
> 
> i've also come to the conclusion that i won't be updating on fridays/weekends (my time- and i'm in front of most people on the planet time wise)
> 
> title from Pocketful of Sunshine, Natasha Bedingfield

Steve blinked at Bucky’s closed door. 

He could still feel his heart beating erratically, his brain scrambling as he tried to process the situation he was in. They had a great night, Bucky got to meet his family, they came back and they leant in closer. Steve knew they were about to kiss but Bucky flinched like he had been electrocuted and before Steve could even _think_ , Bucky had wished him a goodnight and had disappeared into his apartment.

Steve’s heart fell. He had such a good night with Bucky seeing him interact with his family with ease. The dinners they had spent together, time with Winnie and finally time with his family only cementing the fact he had a very big crush on one Bucky Barnes. He had felt a little more confident that Bucky liked him too. 

Did he do something wrong? Made Bucky uncomfortable? Or had he read the entire situation incorrectly?

Steve replayed the moment over and over in his head before he fell asleep, certain that Bucky had been leaning in to meet him halfway.

***

Steve didn’t see Bucky in person until a few days later. Steve wasn’t sure how to approach the subject but Bucky didn’t acknowledge the almost kiss, so Steve didn’t either. Because he’s a coward. And he figured if Bucky wanted to talk about what happened, he would.

They texted like usual over the weekend. Steve sent some screenshots from the Avengers chat to Bucky as they talked about how amazing he is, knowing Bucky would appreciate it. Steve got a selfie of Bucky, Winnie and a dog they met in the park. He saved it to his camera roll and held back from making it his wallpaper.

Steve was sitting in his apartment Monday night, staring at a Korean take-out menu when he sighed, placed it on the bench and went next door. He knocked on it, a little nervous.

He heard Bucky shout something before the door opened, Winnie peering up at him curiously before her face broke out into a grin. “Steve!”

He grinned back at her and slipped an arm around her waist, pulling her up as she giggled so she could sit on his hip. Her arms wound around her neck, her forehead to his temple. Steve felt his nerves settle and a sense of calm wash over him as he held Winnie.

“Winnie!” Bucky shouted. Steve heard his footsteps from the hallway. “I just said, don’t answer the door to strangers!”

Winnie turned her head towards the doorway, resting her head on Steve’s shoulder. “Steve isn’t a stranger! He’s my friend.”

Steve squeezed Winnie’s waist which made her giggled. “It’s okay, Buck. It’s just me.”

Bucky came round the corner, faces contorted into hard lines which only softened once he saw Steve. “Oh, hey.”

“Hi.”

Annoyance flickered across his face as his gaze settled on Winnie. “Doesn’t matter that Steve is your friend, sweetie. Someone very bad could have been on the other side of the door, and what would have happened if you had opened it?”

Winnie shrugged.

“You could have gotten hurt,” Steve answered, pressing his nose against the side of Winnie’s head and closing his eyes. “That’s why you let an adult answer the door.”

“Steve wouldn't have hurt me.”

Steve’s heart clenched as Bucky took a step closer, pushing a strand of Winnie’s hair behind her ear before placing his hand on Steve’s arm that was wrapped around his daughter. “No, Steve wouldn’t hurt you. But there are baddies out there that might.”

Steve placed a quick kiss on her cheek. “But I promise to protect you forever if you promise me to not answer the door.”

Winnie turned her head towards him and squinted her eyes at him. “Promise?”

He raised his eyebrows at her. 

She sighed. “Okay, I promise to not answer the front door.”

“Good,” Steve held out his other hand, not gripping her waist and extended his pinky finger. She stuck out hers too, giggling. “Then I promise to protect you from baddies forever, sunshine.”

Steve met Bucky’s eyes, warmth and appreciation flooding from Bucky in waves. He was looking at Steve and Winnie so fondly, Steve felt like he was going to cry. He didn’t really need to verbalise this promise. He had vowed it to himself as soon as he had met her. He had grown to love this little girl and would do everything he could possibly do to protect every single strand of hair on her head. No harm would come to her as long as he was alive. He would make sure of it.

Winnie seemed to sense the heavy atmosphere and played her part as the lovable, adorable, menace of a child. She licked Steve’s cheek, eyes mischievous and she giggled when he dropped her in surprise. 

Steve’s face scrunched up in disgust as Winnie ran away to the balcony. Bucky laughed. 

“Gross,” Steve complained. 

Bucky patted his shoulder, amusement leaving his face as soon as he looked at the kitchen island. Steve followed his gaze and cocked his head to the side once he saw the mess. Bucky’s laptop was open, some sort of spreadsheet open with lots of numbers and names across the screen. There was a large stack of papers a mile high, one paper opened next to his laptop with red ink all over it. There were two empty coffee mugs and another half full. 

Bucky sat down with a sigh on the stool and it was only as he reached out for the half-full coffee mug that Steve realised his hand was shaking. He walked around to the other side on the counter, mouth pulled into a frown as he took in Bucky’s appearance. His short hair wasn’t in its usual style, parts sticking out as if Bucky had been running his hand through it constantly. His grey shirt had a few coffee stains on it, and he had bags under his eyes, more pronounced than usual. The lines of his face were hard with stress. 

“What’s up, Buck?” He asked gently.

Bucky sighed again and gestured to the stack of papers. “One of my classes handed in their big historical inquiries today. Gotta mark them.”

Steve made a noise of concern, placing his hand over Bucky’s when he put the coffee back down. “Do you have to do it all tonight?”

Bucky shook his head. “No, but another one of my classes is handing in their historical inquiries on Friday and then I need to cross mark one of my colleague's classes assignments next week and then I need to write two exams and then I need-”

“Okay, okay,” Steve said, rounding the counter to stand next to Bucky, who immediately wrapped his arm around Steve's waist, resting his forehead on Steve’s chest. Steve rubbed a hand soothingly on Bucky’s back, the other brushing through his hair gently as the other man cried into his chest. “Let it out, Buck. I’ve got you.”

A few minutes later, Bucky’s shoulders had stopped shaking. He let out a groan as he pulled away from Steve, wiping his eyes. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

“Hey,” Steve whispered, wrapped his arms around Bucky and brought him in for another hug. “Don’t apologise. You’ve got a lot on at the moment, it’s okay to cry.”

Bucky sniffed but didn’t remove himself from Steve’s arm. “It’s always busy during this time in the course. I just have a lot of things that I need to do and it can be pretty overwhelming.”

Steve hummed, rubbing circles on his skin through his t-shirt. “Is there anything I can do?”

Bucky pulled back from him, shaking his head. Steve sighed and rested his palms on Bucky’s jaw, forcing Bucky to look up at him. “I’m serious, Buck. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Bucky’s eyes flickered to Winnie and back to Steve again. “Could you cook dinner, please?”

Steve nodded his head. “Of course. Anything else?”

“Um,” Bucky bit his lip but with a soft smile from Steve, he said, “And look after Winnie tonight? I know it’s not your usual night but I really need to focus on these inquiries without distractions. It takes a lot of brainpower.”

Steve nodded. “How about this: you relax for a little while I cook dinner, maybe have a shower or have a quick nap. Then you eat with us and we move you next door to my place.”

Bucky made a noise of protest but Steve continued. “You can have the place to yourself tonight and I’ll stay here with Winnie. I’ll put her to bed and come check up on you every now and then, yeah?”

Bucky’s forehead was scrunched together as he searched Steve’s face but then realised that Steve wasn’t going to budge. His face relaxed and he slumped into Steve's arms. “Okay.”

“Good,” Steve placed a quick kiss on top of Bucky’s hair, feeling a little brave and knowing Bucky would appreciate the show of support. “Any requests for dinner?”

“Burgers.”

“Sure thing, pal.”

Bucky went and had a quick shower and a power nap as Steve cooked dinner. Winnie wasn’t fazed at the change of plans for the night, not even batting an eye when she had called out “Dad! How long till dinner?” and Steve replied instead. 

He gently woke Bucky up and guided him to the table. He and Winnie directed the conversation at dinner, Bucky making grunts of agreement or disagreement. Winnie helped Steve clean up and then he helped Bucky move all of his things into his own apartment.

He gulped when Bucky’s eyes swept around the bare apartment. Steve had only unpacked a few more things in the last week which did nothing to fill the cold void of the place. Bucky didn’t say anything about it, to which Steve was grateful. Tonight was about helping Bucky with his work, not focusing on Steve and his inability to unpack a few boxes. 

They set him up on the kitchen island, and Steve left Bucky to spread out his things and organise himself. He enjoyed walking in between the apartments with their front doors open. It felt nice to open the hallway up. Steve returned to Bucky with his favourite mug cleaned and full of some tea.

Bucky whined when he saw it wasn’t coffee. “Why, Steve? Why?”

Steve placed the mug in front of Bucky, squeezing his shoulder. “Because I know you’ve already had too much coffee today. More than the recommended amount.”

“Jeez, mom.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I care about you and I don’t want you to explode.”

Bucky grumbled but Steve could see he appreciated the gesture. 

Steve squeezed his shoulder again. “I’ll leave both apartment doors open so shout out if you need me. Or text me. I’ll come over and check up on you though. Is there anything else you need?”

Bucky turned around on the chair and wrapped his arms around Steve. Steve sighed into the hug. “Thank you so much, Stevie. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Steve’s lips twitched as he kissed Bucky’s head again. “I’m always here if you need me. Even if it’s as small as looking after your daughter for a night.”

Bucky pulled back from the hug, smirking. “Does that mean you’d start a revolution for me if I asked?”

 _Yes._ “Depends. Who are we revolting against?”

“The tea business.”

Steve laughed. “I’ll have you know that tea is a very big part of the Avengers household. Thor and Bruce go through hundreds of bags a month.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure I saw Clint and Tony trading a full coffee pot between them on Friday night. They weren’t even drinking it out of mugs.”

Steve sighed. Yeah, that sounded like Clint and Tony.

Bucky grinned. He placed a sweet kiss on Steve’s cheek which left Steve with a blush as he went back to the Barnes’ apartment, leaving Bucky to mark his papers.

As soon as he stepped in, Winnie dragged him out to the balcony and demanded that he help her paint. He felt no hesitation as he dipped his fingers in the red paint and smeared them along the paper, following Winnie’s direct instructions. He felt peace settle even further in his bones as he and Winnie painted and sang to a playlist on his phone, knowing Bucky was right next door, a little less overwhelmed because Steve had helped.

They painted until the sun had set and he set up a bath for Winnie. He cleaned, listening to her giggle and laugh from the bathroom. After getting her dry and into some pyjamas, he heated some milk for her before setting her down on the couch to watch a Disney TV show. Steve quickly slipped out before she could notice and went over to Bucky.

His head was down as his eyes scanned over the page, his red pen flicking as he either ticked or corrected what a student wrote. He didn’t acknowledge Steve but smiled as he noticed Steve pick up his empty tea mug. Steve was glad he had drunk the whole thing and the pile of marked papers had grown a few. 

Steve returned a few minutes later with a second mug of tea and left after kissing Bucky’s head. He followed their usual bedtime routine by reading a book to Winnie. He ushered her in to see her dad who placed his pen down and gave her some kisses, wishing her goodnight before Steve picked her up and took her to bed. He had kissed Winnie on the nose when her hands rested on his cheeks, keeping him in place.

“Steve?” She whispered, her eyes so big and so blue.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for looking after my daddy.” She sniffed. “Sometimes he gets lonely with only me and I’m not big enough yet to take care of him so I’m really happy he has you now.”

Steve’s heart melted. “Of course, Winnie. That promise I made today, about protecting you?”

She nodded.

“That applies to your dad too. I’ll look after you two forever. Does that sound good?”

She smiled at him and kissed him on the nose. “G’night, Steve.”

“Night, sunshine.”

***

He was watching Queer Eye an hour later when his phone started to buzz. He answered.

“Is it true that you got into a fight with a known associate of a drug trafficking ring in 1944?”

Steve froze. “What?”

“Is it true that you-”

“I know, I heard you the first time, Buck.” Steve paused Netflix and shifted on the couch, ready to run out the door to Bucky if he needed. “I’m just confused.”

“One of my students has written that Captain America got into a fight with a known associate of a drug trafficking ring in New Orleans in 1944 but I’ve never read or heard this story before.”

“So you’re asking me?”

“You’re the Captain America she’d be talking about, aren’t you?”

Steve huffed. “Yes, I did. It was during my USO Tour. Saw the guy selling drugs to some kids, young teenagers, on my way back to my room from the bar. He was getting handsy with the young girl and she didn’t seem happy about it so I stepped in.”

“Huh,” There was some ruffling on Bucky’s side. “That’s not in any books I’ve read.”

“Yeah, my bosses weren’t too happy with me. It’s not public knowledge.”

“Then how the fuck am I reading it?”

Steve tilted his head to the side, considering. “Who’s the student?”

“Susan Bishop, my top student actually.” Bucky huffed. “Figures she’d be able to find something like this. She’s quoted a person named ‘Barton, C’.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “That would probably be Clint Barton. I’ve only told that story to a few Avengers.”

Bucky made a noise in agreement. “Weird. I wonder how Susie got it.”

“Never question the ways of a dedicated history student and Clint Barton.”

“I feel like there’s a story there.”

Steve grinned. “There is. From a mission a few years back. I’ll tell you later. How’s it going?”

Bucky sighed. “This is honestly the most difficult part of my job. It’s just so draining.”

“They can’t be that bad, right? I mean, you taught these people.”

When Bucky talked, Steve could hear his smile. “I’m actually surprised by the quality. The ones I’ve read so far have been really good. Especially Susie's, but I expected that.”

“What’s her topic if she’s talking about me?”

“Captain America’s influence on the twentieth century.” 

Steve froze, feeling a little weird.

“She’s really talked you up. It’s kind of ridiculous.” Bucky continued, sensing Steve’s apprehensiveness at the idea of a paper being written about him but dispelling it with a light tone and a joke. He cleared his throat. “‘Steve Roger’s upstanding morals and the symbolism of Captain America, inspired troops throughout the front, evident by one American soldier writing-’”

Steve laughed. “Okay, okay, I get it.”

“If only she knew what happens when the oven alarm goes off and you don’t expect it.”

“I set fire to the tea towel one time, Barnes.” Steve hissed.

Bucky laughed. 

Steve hesitated before asking quietly. “She talks about me, does she?”

There was silence from Bucky’s end for a moment before he spoke. “Kind of hard to talk about Captain America without Steve Rogers, isn’t it?”

“Is it though?”

“Of course. They’re the same person, aren’t they?”

Steve stayed silent.

“They may be a little different,” Bucky said softly. “But in this instant right now, in this world and time and place, you cannot have one without the other. Two sides of the same coin.”

Steve huffed but didn’t say anything.

“I need another tea please.”

Steve gives Bucky his new tea and Bucky gives him a long hug. He goes back to Netflix, mind torn between concentrating on the show and on what Bucky said. A few hours later, Steve stopped Netflix before it could continue on to the next episode and went to check on Bucky.

He found the man slumped on the counter over an opened paper, pen held loosely in his hand, eyes closed as his light snoring filled the air. Steve stood next to him, smiling at Bucky’s peaceful, relaxed face. He looked absolutely adorable and Steve wanted to wrap his arms around Bucky and never let him go.

Instead, he took the pen from Bucky’s hand and slipped an arm around his upper back, pulling him up and turned him so Steve could slip his other arm behind Bucky’s knees. Steve picked him up, adjusting Bucky in his arms so his head rolled onto Steve’s shoulder. 

Steve carried him bridal style to his bedroom as Bucky groaned, pushing his face into Steve’s neck. Steve smiled and set Bucky down gently on the bed, holding him upright whilst he flipped his blankets back. He manoeuvred Bucky under the blankets and pulled them up to his chin, effectively tucking him in. 

Bucky made a noise of confusion, his sleepy eyes fluttering open. “Wha’?”

Steve made a shushing noise and brushed the hair away from Bucky’s forehead. “It’s late, Buck. Go back to sleep, yeah?”

“Kid?” Bucky slurred, turning to nuzzle his face into Steve’s pillow.

Steve chuckled. “She’s asleep. Is it okay if I take her to school tomorrow?”

Bucky made a noise of protest into the pillow.

“No, no, it’s okay. You sleep in a little, mark some more papers and head to work.” He placed a comforting hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Your first class isn’t until ten, right?”

Bucky made a noise of agreement.

“See? It’s all good. I’ve got both you and Winnie.” He placed a quick kiss on Bucky’s head and took a step back.

Bucky caught his wrist and squeezed. His face was smooshed into the pillow, one arm hanging off the bed and one foot sticking out. He looked precious. “You’re the best, Stevie,” he mumbled.

Steve’s heart squeezed but he didn’t say anything back as he watched Bucky’s breath even out until he was asleep. Steve stayed there for a few moments, watching Bucky as his face hurt from his own blinding smile. He squeezed Bucky’s hand and went back to his kitchen.

He sorted Bucky’s things into some neater piles, making sure not to disrupt anything too much because Bucky clearly had a system. He did grab Bucky’s laptop after taking his pyjamas quietly out of his room and returned to Bucky’s apartment. He placed Bucky’s laptop on charge in his bedroom, took the blankets off his bed and settled himself on the Barnes couch.

He fell asleep with a soft smile on his face, imagining he was sleeping next to Bucky in their bed. 

***

Steve awoke to a child standing over him, eyebrows raised, hands on her hips, and sporting a serious case of bed head.

“Hi,” Steve said, sluggishly, rubbing his face with his hands.

“Hello,” Winnie said. “What are you doing on my couch, Steve?”

“Well, your dad is sleeping in my bed,” Her eyebrows rose impossibly higher. “So, I slept here. And I’m taking you to school today.”

Winnie’s face scrunched up in confusion. “Do you even know how to do that?”

Steve shrugged, sitting up. “I’m a retired Avenger, I’ll figure it out.”

Winnie rolled her eyes. “Well, you’re not Black Widow, so…”

Steve barked out a surprised laugh. “Yes, yes, you’re right, sunshine.” He brushed his hands through Winnie’s hair to tame it. “But I’ll try my best, okay?”

She scanned his face and nodded. 

“But you’re Black Widow’s biggest fan, yeah? So you should be able to figure it out. You’re smart.”

“It’s because I go to school all the time that I know what to do, _Steve.”_ She emphasised as if he was the dumbest person she had ever known.

Steve grinned. “See? Smart!”

Winnie huffed but then proceeded to give him a detailed, probably too detailed, explanation of their normal morning routine. He left her to get dressed as he made breakfast and her lunch, and then ate with her, trading stories and laughing. As she was brushing her teeth and packing her bag, he quietly slipped into his own apartment.

He quietly opened the door to find Bucky spreading starfish on his bed, mouth open and blankets pushed down to his stomach with his shirt ridden up to his chest. Steve tried to ignore him but failed, taking a few photos to remember this moment forever. Steve quickly grabbed some clothes and wrote a quick note, which he placed on top of Bucky’s phone that was charging on his bedside table.

He closed his apartment door and locked it, then got changed in the Barnes bathroom. Winnie was waiting by the door, backpack at her feet, with a hairbrush and hair ties in her hands. She looked at Steve expectantly. Steve blinked back at her.

“Can you do my hair, please?”

“Uhh,” Steve replied, intelligently.

Winnie huffed and shoved the hair supplies to him. “Can you please do pigtails?”

Steve spent the next ten minutes perfecting his hairdressing skills. Winnie stayed still, giggling when he’d curse under his breath. She ran to the bathroom when he was done and came back with a big smile on her face.

“They’re perfect, Steve!”

“You’re perfect, sunshine.” He poked her on the nose, eliciting a giggle from her.

“School?” He asked, sticking his hand out to her.

She took it and grinned. “School!”

They walked to school hand in hand, Steve watching her with a smile as Winnie skipped and jumped next to him. He knelt down for her so she could give him a kiss on the cheek, and he did the same for her. He waited until she had gone inside of her classroom with a final wave. Steve walked back to their apartment building with his hands in his pocket, sun beaming down on him as he hummed a happy tune.

He went back into the Barnes’ apartment first and cleaned up from breakfast before taking Bucky’s share and placing it on his own kitchen bench. He sat down in his kitchen and scrolled through his phone and then made some coffee, waiting for Bucky to wake up.

He only had to wait a few minutes before Bucky came stumbling out into the living area, rubbing his cheek on his shoulder, Steve’s note gripped in his hand. He paused at seeing Steve in the kitchen.

Steve smiled at him. “Morning, Buck.”

Bucky huffed and walked over, wrapping his arm around Steve and pulling him into a hug. Bucky kissed his forehead, mumbling, “Morning, Stevie.”

Steve grinned at him as Bucky caught a whiff of coffee and sped to the pot of coffee, pouring himself a mug. He took a sip of it and sighed, shoulders dropping. 

“How’d you sleep?” 

Bucky smiled into his coffee. “Well, no child was kicking me in the ribs, no alarm set to wake me up and it-” Bucky paused, his eyes widening only slightly before he took a sip of coffee to cover up his hesitation. “It was really good.”

Steve nodded his head. “Good.”

Bucky yawned. “What time is it?”

“Just after eight,” Steve pointed to the breakfast he had made Bucky. “Made you breakfast and I dropped Winnie off this morning. She sends her love.”

“Brat.” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“She’s been really good for me,” Steve laughed.

Bucky squinted at him. “Because she’s smitten with you. Every single morning after you’ve been over she never shuts up about you. In one of her teacher’s monthly update emails, she even thanked you for helping Win with her homework.”

Steve preened. “Mrs Holiday really said that?”

Bucky spat his coffee back into the mug and placed it on the table so he could grip his stomach as he laughed. Steve watched with amusement before joining in with Bucky’s laughter.

Bucky was grinning hard, his face lit up, as he wiped away a tear. “God,” he gasped. “You’re amazing.”

Steve smiled at him confused. “Nah, you’re pretty amazing.”

Bucky leant over the bench, amusement was gone from his face as he stared at Steve seriously. “No, seriously. You’re amazing. You reduced my stress and anxiety and offered to help me in any way that I needed, you cooked dinner and put Winnie to sleep, you let me sleep in _your bed_ , then cooked breakfast for both Winnie and I and _then_ took Winnie to school. Not to mention you made me coffee.” 

Steve shrugged, his cheeks turning red.

Bucky’s deep eyes flickered across his face as if he was trying to memorise it. “Don’t be humble, you punk. You are overwhelmingly, unbelievably, a good man.”

_‘Not a perfect soldier, but a good man.’_

Steve ducked his head, pressure building behind his eyes as he choked out a quiet thank you to Bucky.

“Okay, enough emotions today.” Bucky sniffed his armpit. “And I’m going to have a shower, mark a paper or two then head off to work. What are your plans for the day?”

“Go for a run and then I think the Avengers are having a meeting with Carol so I’ll probably join because I miss her.”

Bucky nodded, his lips twitching. “Please say hi to the secret space lady for me. Are you still good to pick Winnie up today?”

Steve nodded. “Of course.”

Bucky kissed him on the cheek on the way out. “Thank you, Stevie.”

“Anytime, Buck.”

***

For the next week, Steve felt a shift between him and Bucky.

He wasn’t sure if it was because of the almost-kiss or the events of the following days, but casual touching between the two increased dramatically. Greetings were made with a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek, forehead kisses became a common thing between them, and their feet would touch under the dinner table.

Steve’s stomach was constantly filled with butterflies. Normally, he would have hated the feeling that thrummed through his veins because it would lessen his focus but with Bucky, it felt amazing. His skin was constantly tingling, even hours after Bucky had touched his elbow or brushed hair from his forehead. 

And his face. God, his face may just become permanently red. Each touch would cause his cheeks to flame, his ears to turn red. He always felt hot around Bucky, but he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Winnie didn’t seem to notice the change between the men, didn’t care about the casual touches. Steve was glad. He had first worried that Winnie would ask questions that Steve didn't have the answers too. He didn’t understand the shift either, just that they both seemed to enjoy it and Steve wouldn’t change it for the world. 

It was a normal Thursday when everything shifted again.

Steve had gone for a run with Sam and Nat, and afterwards, they had coffee together. He told them everything about Bucky and Winnie and they watched him with smiles on their faces and in their eyes. They both gave him a tight, lingering hug when they departed, whispering words of encouragement into his ear.

He smiled constantly throughout the rest of the day, showering and then texting Bucky as he made lunch and ate it on the balcony. He even smiled as he unpacked his few boxes of clothes into his closet. He had been repeating the same few clothes over the past month. He sent a picture of his full closet and drawers to Sam, Bucky and Nat and received excellent responses that only made his smile bigger.

He walked to Winnie’s school, a skip in his step, before he went to his regular spot a little further from the other parents gathered around. He waited and did the usual scan of his surroundings, taking stock of the differences from Tuesday’s pick up. The bins were full, Oliver’s dad was talking animatedly on the phone and there was a new woman, standing between Steve and the cluster of other parents.

She had short wavy brown hair that was tied up into a high pony, black sunglasses perched on her nose. She was slimly built, wearing a navy blue sweater and black skirt, with thin stockings and ankle boots. There was a bag hanging on her shoulders and she was smiling as she typed something on her phone. Steve watched her for a few moments, trying to remember if he had seen her before. There were no rings on her fingers which meant she could be a single parent, like Bucky. 

He didn’t need to wait long for the bell and for kids to come running out. He spotted Winnie’s piggy tails and smiled as she skipped over to him. He watched as she grinned at him then her eyes flickered to the other waiting parents. She stopped so suddenly the kid behind her crashed into her backpack, but she didn’t even flinch. The other kid looked at her weirdly before running off to Oliver's dad. Must be Oliver then, Steve thought, before he froze. 

Winnie was looking at the new woman, who had a massive smile taking over her face. Winnie let out an ear-piercing shriek before bolting it so fast Steve was surprised, towards the woman. She leant down and wrapped her arms around Winnie, picking her up and spinning her around as they both laughed.

Steve’s face was scrunched in confusion as he took a few steps towards them, knees slightly bent and he trained his eyes on his surroundings, looking for a sniper or something equally as bad. He stopped his hand halfway as it reached up to take a shield off his back. He berated himself for it. _You don’t have the shield anymore, pal. That was your choice. And you shouldn’t need it here, this is Winnie, and the woman doesn’t look like a threat._ He paused for a second. _Natasha didn’t look like a threat in a unicorn onesie yet she stabbed you with her straw._

He soldiered on, ready to fight and grab Winnie and retreat when Winnie spotted him and ran over to him. On reflex he bent down, wrapping his arms around Winnie as she hugged him.

“Steve!” She yelled in his ear. He hid his wince. She pulled back, smiling brightly.

Steve cupped her cheek, his eyes flickering to the woman who had come to stand closer to them. He wanted to snap at her that this was his kid to look after, who the fuck was she? Instead, he whispered to Winnie. “Who’s the woman, sunshine?”

Winnie grinned. “You’re so silly, Steve. That’s Auntie Becca!”

Steve blinked, rising from the ground and reassessing the woman. She raised her eyebrows before lifting her sunglasses and placing them on top of her head. Steve left out a soft “oh” as he looked at her eyes. Exactly the same as Bucky’s and Winnie’s. Her entire face looked like Bucky’s; same cheekbones, same lips, same hair, same eyes. Steve wondered how he hadn’t noticed before. She was the same woman in the numerous photos around the Barnes apartment, the only difference was that she had cut her hair shorter since the photos had been taken.

She stuck out her hand for Steve to shake. “Yeah, I’m Becca. Winnie’s aunt.”

Steve nodded and dropped her hand, automatically placing a hand on top of Winnie’s head as she looked up at them with wonder. “I’m Steve.”

Becca’s face relaxed, an easy charming smile gracing her lips as she gave Steve a once over with her eyes. “Of course. You’re the hot neighbour that’s been helping Bucky out.”

Steve coughed, eyes a little wide. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess.”

Becca watched him with amusement as he recovered and Steve was struck by how _Bucky_ she looked. 

Winnie jumped and grabbed Becca’s hand. “Steve’s the best!”

“Oh?” Becca asked, smiling at Steve. He took Winnie’s backpack and slung it over one shoulder before taking Winnie’s outstretched hand. The three of them walked back in the direction of the apartment building, holding hands.

“Yep! He’s really funny and he gives really good hugs. He likes to paint with me and sometimes, and don’t tell daddy, but we go for ice cream after school-” Steve let out an accused squeak, surprised Winnie had given up their secret so easily. “-and he gives me kisses before bedtime and he does all the voices when he reads to me and guess what, Auntie Becca!”

“What?” Becca asked, dramatically.

Winnie tugged her hand and pulled her down. She whispered, “He’s really good friends with Black Widow!”

Steve grimaced internally, both because he felt like it wasn’t his best quality and because now Becca would surely recognise him. How would she feel with an ex-Avenger looking after her niece? A soldier?

Becca’s gaze shot so fast to Steve he thought she may have given her eyes whiplash if it was a thing. Becca kept her eyes locked on Steve’s as she stood back up, talking to Winnie. “Woah, that’s so cool, Wins. Sounds like Steve’s a great guy.”

Winnie nodded. “Yep! He’s my friend.”

Becca was still looking at him when recognition flashed across her face. Steve gave her a tight smile. Becca didn’t bring up his superhero career right then, which he was grateful for. He didn’t want someone they walked past to hear the words “Captain America” and bombard them, wanting a picture.

Winnie told them about her day for the rest of the walk back, swinging their arms between them. Steve and Becca listened happily. Becca raised her eyebrows as Steve fished his key from his pocket, opening the Barnes apartment but didn’t say anything on the matter.

Winnie dumped her backpack on the couch and after Steve pointed at it she grumpily unpacked her lunch box before taking it to her room. She came running back into the living area with her smock tied around her waist.

“Auntie Becca!” She skidded to a stop at Becca’s feet. “I’ll show you everything new I have since you’ve been away soon but I really want to paint right now so I’m gonna do that.”

“Okay,” Becca laughed.

Winnie grinned at her and ran over to the balcony door, throwing it open and closing it behind her.

“Winnie!” Steve yelled, putting her lunchbox away. “You know the rules, keep the door open, please!”

Winnie turned back to the door, rolling her eyes but doing as Steve said. She poked her tongue out at him and Steve did the same. She giggled and started setting up her papers and paints to her liking. Becca watched the exchange with curious eyes.

Steve refused to feel weird as he got Becca a glass of water. This wasn’t his apartment and she was the owner's sister, but this was the routine and he felt like he belonged. She took a sip of her water before sitting on one of the stools. Steve leant back on the kitchen counter, arms crossed and waiting for Becca to initiate the conversation she clearly wanted to have.

“So,” she said, smirking into her glass. “You’re Captain America?”

“I _was_ Captain America.” Steve corrected. 

Becca hummed. “You’re bigger in person.”

“Uh, thanks?”

“No wonder you’ve got Bucky drooling.” She smirked as Steve’s face flushed. “And that smile, Jesus. Even I’m swooning and I’m gay.”

“Oh?” Steve startled, not knowing.

“No, I’m kidding. I’m not gay.” Becca laughed, then shot Steve a wink. “But that reminds me, are you?”

Steve scratched the back of his neck, wondering how they had moved from his past superhero career to his sexuality. “Uh, no. I’m bisexual.”

“Oh, cool.” Becca nodded. “Still means you might want to have sex with my brother.”

Steve coughed, Becca’s laughter filling the room. Steve didn’t say anything because _yes, he_ did _want to have sex with her brother._ But she didn’t need to know.

“Did you just get in?” Steve said, trying to change the subject. “Bucky said you were in Europe.”

Becca nodded, her face lighting up. “Got in this morning, actually. Figured I’d have a shower and get dressed, then pick Winnie up from after school care, but it seems it was your day anyway.”

“I’ve been doing the days you would have. Bucky didn’t tell you?”

Becca shrugged. “He didn’t actually tell me anything productive. Just ranted about how amazing you are. Plus it was hard to have a continuous conversation because of the time difference, you know?”

They spent the next few hours talking about Becca’s trip, and Bucky and Winnie. When Becca talked about a place Steve had visited, he chimed in with his own stories. She always laughed when he told stories from the war or missions with the Avengers, the difference between their experiences a stark contrast. Whilst they talked, Steve started dinner and made sure to make an extra serving in case all four of them would be eating dinner. He planned to leave the Barnes’ twins to catch up after dinner anyways.

Becca excused herself to the bathroom just before Steve heard keys in the front door. He smiled at Bucky as he walked in, shutting the door behind him and dropping his bag onto the kitchen counter. Bucky quickly rounded the bench before slumping into Steve’s arms, letting out a groan.

“Long day?” Steve murmured, kissing the top of Bucky’s hair.

Bucky huffed. “My co-workers suck.”

Steve winced in sympathy as Bucky pulled back, slipping off his suit jacket and putting it on top of his bag. He came back to stand by Steve’s side, pressing their arms together and resting his head on Steve’s shoulder. He started to explain how much his co-workers suck as Steve continued to cut up the veggies.

“Wow,” came Becca’s voice behind them. Bucky’s head shot up fast to look behind Steve. “Have I been replaced, Bucky? You used to rant about Bill to _me_.”

“Becca!” Bucky shouted, ditching Steve immediately and running to Becca, throwing an arm around her tightly as she laughed.

“Hey, big brother.”

Bucky pulled back, resting his hand on her shoulder, grinning. “You know I hate it when you call me that. It makes me feel old.”

Becca smirked. “You are old.”

“I’m older than you by one minute!”

“Daddy?” Winnie stuck her head into the living area, frowning. “Why are you talking to them and not me?”

Bucky’s face softened as he left Becca and walked over to his daughter, scooping her up to sit on his hip. She kept her paint-covered hands away from his suit. “Well, I haven’t seen Auntie Becca in ages.”

Her frown deepened. “You haven’t seen me in ages, either. You were at Steve’s house this morning and we had to to go to school without you.”

Bucky nodded, kissing everywhere on his daughter's face to make up for this morning. Becca shot a confused look to Steve so he explained what happened as Winnie told her dad about her day. Something flickered over her face that Steve couldn’t place. He went back to cooking.

After Winnie had enough of her dad's attention, she wiggled in his arms until he dropped her.

“Dinner’s almost ready, sunshine,” Steve said, plating up some food. “Can you wash up please?”

Winnie nodded. “Only if Auntie Becca helps!”

“Of course, silly goose.” Becca followed Winnie out to the balcony and they could hear Winnie explain her painting things to her aunt.

Bucky turned around with a soft smile on his face, and gathered glasses and drinks, setting up the table and Steve finished up serving the food.

“How’d you find Becca?”

“She was at the school waiting to pick Winnie up,” Steve placed two plates on the table. “I was very shocked when Winnie screamed and went running to her instead of me.”

Bucky pouted and patted Steve on the shoulder. “Poor baby.”

Steve smiled. “We walked back here together. Your sister’s pretty cool.”

Bucky pressed their shoulders together. “She wasn’t weird, was she? About the whole national icon thing?”

Steve’s smile softened, warm that Bucky was concerned about him. He placed a kiss on his forehead. “No, she was okay. Shocked at first, told me I was bigger in person, but she didn’t faint or anything like people normally do.”

Bucky smirked. “Fainting?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “All the fucking time, pal. You should have seen this poor kid, he was probably fourteen? And half the Avengers rocked up to his McDonalds at two in the morning and he just fainted right on the spot.”

Bucky laughed. “What did you do?”

“I was in charge of looking after him and the rest helped themselves to food. Apparently, Nat and Clint worked as McDonald's employees for an undercover mission years ago and they knew how to work everything.”

Bucky gasped. “Did you pay?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “No, the Avengers robbed a McDonalds.”

Bucky rolled his eyes in return. 

“The Avengers did what now?” Becca asked as she and Winnie stepped into the living area.

“Saved the world,” Steve coughed. “We saved the world.”

Becca squinted at him but didn’t say anything, just ushered Winnie to the bathroom to clean up.

The four of them sat down for dinner. Winnie retold some stories from her day for her dad, Steve and Becca paying rapt attention to ensure they wouldn’t be under fire for being caught not listening. Becca and Bucky bickered constantly throughout the meal as Becca recounted her overseas trip and Bucky recounted his day. Steve chimed in when he felt like it was appropriate, but he felt himself retreating into himself the more he thought. 

Becca words from earlier kept replaying in his head. _‘Have I been replaced, Bucky?’_. He was sure she had said it jokingly, with no intention of hurting him, but Steve couldn’t stop the crack in his heart forming. It was true, wasn’t it? He was here to replace Becca whilst she was away. Now that Becca was back, could he still see Winnie? Could he still come over for dinner and cook and paint and relax with the Barnes’? And Bucky. Steve didn’t want to stop seeing Bucky.

Bucky seemed to notice halfway through dinner that Steve wasn’t being himself, so he put his foot over Steve’s instead of just their toes touching. He gave Steve a small smile but didn’t push it. The show of support helped Steve a little bit but he still couldn’t stop the anxiety that was crawling up his throat. 

Winnie and Becca cleaned up the table and started on the dishes. Steve went to stand to head out, but Bucky grabbed his hand and squeezed. “Hey, you okay?”

Steve gave him a small nod and smile. “Yeah, I’m okay, Buck. Thanks for having me.”

Bucky tilted his head in confusion.

“I’ll go now, let you catch up with your sister.”

Bucky frowned but didn’t protest as Steve walked over to the kitchen, placing his glass with the other dirty dishes.

“It was really nice to meet you, Becca.” 

Becca smiled. “It was nice to meet you too.” She held up her wet hands. “I’d give you a hug but…”

Steve waved her away and took a step to stand behind Winnie who putting the rinsed dishes in the dishwasher. He placed a kiss on top of her head. “See ya, Winnie.”

Winnie spun around and poked his chest. “Where are you going?”

“Back to my place,” Steve swallowed. “I’m gonna leave so you and your dad can catch up with Becca. Family night, okay?”

Winnie frowned, face scrunched up in confusion. “But… you always give me kisses goodnight.”

Steve’s heart melted. “Can I do it now?”

Winnie nodded, her frown lessening as Steve kissed her forehead, cheeks and nose. Winnie kissed him on the nose and he smiled at her. “Night, sunshine.”

“Goodnight, Steve.”

Steve took a step back and hesitated, looking at Winnie. She looked at him and he felt undeserving of the stars in her eyes. He gave her a closed-lipped smile before taking his phone, keys and wallet from the bench. Bucky followed him out the door, closing his door behind him.

Steve stood out the front of his, looking at Bucky with confusion. Bucky stared at him, eyebrows raised.

“Buck?”

“What’s wrong?” Bucky took a step closer to Steve. “You weren’t yourself during dinner.”

Steve shrugged, busying himself with getting his keys in the lock. “Just tired.”

“Bullshit,” Bucky scoffed. “Come on, Steve. You can tell me.” He placed his hand on Steve’s elbow, burning the skin. “I’m here for you.”

Steve sighed, resting his forehead on the door for a moment to collect himself before turning around to Bucky. He kept his hand on Steve’s elbow, giving it a squeeze.

“I’m Becca’s replacement, aren’t I?” Steve blurted out. Bucky blinked in surprise but Steve powered on, the words tumbling out of him. “I’m looking after Winnie because you couldn’t and Becca was away, but now Becca’s back, so now she can look after Winnie. Which means I won’t see her or you anymore, and I don’t-”

Bucky lurched forward, cutting Steve’s rambling off by pressing his lips to Steve’s. Steve’s eyes widened in shock, looking at Bucky with his eyes closed, their lips pressing against each other. It was quick, a way for Steve to stop talking. Bucky pulled back, blinking, his cheeks a rosy tint. Steve let out a shaky breath, body numb from shock and happiness.

“You’re aren’t Becca’s replacement,” Bucky whispered, looking at Steve. “I don’t know if she wants to pick Winnie up or whatever, but either way you can come over anytime, _anytime_ , because I-”

Steve took a step closer, hands cupping Bucky’s jaw as he kissed him. Bucky let out a soft noise of protest that was swallowed by Steve’s lips. Bucky’s hand came up to wrap around Steve’s wrist as their mouths moved together. Steve’s entire body was tingling, then Bucky moved his head to the side slightly and they both let out a breathless moan. 

Bucky pulled back first, resting his forehead against Steve’s, keeping his eyes closed. Steve’s eyes flickered over his face, taking note of his long eyelashes, high cheekbones, and kissed red lips. They were both panting slightly, their breaths mingling.

“Fuck,” Bucky whispered.

Steve hummed, nuzzling Bucky’s nose.

“Go on a date with me.” Bucky blurted, his eyes flying open.

Steve took a step back in surprise but kept his hands on Bucky’s jaw. “A date.”

“Yes,” Bucky nodded. “Let’s date. Go on a date. You and me.”

Steve felt all tension leave his shoulders and he took a step closer, kissing Bucky slowly and sweetly. He pulled away, both of them panting again as their lips tingled. “Yes. I’d love to go on a date with you, Buck.”

Bucky let out a soft laugh. “Awesome, that’s great.”

They grinned at each other before kissing again. They stayed there for a few minutes, kissing and exploring each other's mouths. Steve’s hand found itself in Bucky’s hair and Bucky gripped his waist tightly. Steve suddenly wished he could bruise and it wouldn’t heal quickly. 

Bucky pulled back, looking sadly at Steve’s lips. “I better get back inside.”

Steve stole another quick kiss because he could now, taking a few steps closer to his door. “Yeah, of course.”

Bucky bit his lip, Steve’s eyes narrowing on the movement. “I’ll text you once I figure out what I’ll do with Winnie, okay?”

Steve nodded. They hesitated for a moment, before they both leapt for each other again, kissing for a few more moments. Bucky pulled back, Steve chasing his lips. He squeezed Steve’s neck and sighed into his cheek. “We will continue this on our date.”

Steve grinned, his face turning red. “I’m okay with that.”

Bucky laughed, kissed his cheek and slipped back into his apartment, sending Steve a wink as he fixed his hair.

Steve stared at the closed door for a moment before grinning, laughing as he pumped his fist in the air. He felt like he was on Cloud 9 for the rest of the night, brushing his teeth and getting changed into his pyjamas. He sat down on his couch with his laptop on the coffee table, watching a few more episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. He was smiling the entire time, brushing his fingers on his lips, still feeling Bucky’s lips on his.

Steve fell asleep one hundred per cent happy. Bucky and he had kissed, and they were going on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope it was worth the wait?
> 
> and sorry this chapter is later than i expected, the new FATWS trailer dropped halfway through proof reading this and of course i had to watch it ten times... (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH)
> 
> thank you so much for your continued support and kudos. i have an endless supply of motivation and happiness right here because of you xx


	7. A wish for sunshine for all the while

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What did you wish for, Daddy?”
> 
> “I can’t tell you, baby, can I? Otherwise it won’t come true.”
> 
> From the look in Bucky’s eyes as he scanned the room, Winnie on Becca’s hip, Steve holding the phone with his parents on it, Steve could take an educated guess as to what Bucky’s wish was. He hoped it would come true too.
> 
> _That this was forever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fluff here is just too much ugh i'm dead
> 
> i'm so happy that y'all were happy with the kiss! hopefully you're happy with their first date too 
> 
> title from Sunshine on my Shoulders, John Denver

_Fuck._

Steve and Bucky were going on a date and the last time Steve went on a date it ended very badly. To say Steve was freaking out would be an understatement

Steve had woken up the next morning with a smile on his face, rolling onto his back and lightly tracing his lips, his face turning red at the memory of Bucky. He sighed happily, sinking into the pillow to become one with it. Eventually, he rolled over to grab his phone and when he turned it on, his smile grew impossibly larger. Bucky had sent him a text.

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _This is really quick but Becca can watch Winnie tonight if you want to go on that date. Her job starts next week so this might be the quickest option unless you want a six-year-old tagging along ;)_

Steve let out a nervous breath. 

**Steve Rogers:** _That sounds awesome, Buck. I think there’s a food truck festival in Prospect Park? Would that be okay?_

Steve had only lowered his phone onto the mattress for a few seconds before it buzzed with a reply. He felt the butterflies start to swarm in his stomach. Bucky must be on the subway to work. 

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _Food and a hot date, how could I say no, Rogers?_

Steve let out a surprised laugh, his blush deepening.

**Steve Rogers:** _I could say the same thing._

**Steve Rogers:** _Is Becca picking Winnie up from school? Do I pick you up at the usual time you get home?_

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _Gah, you flatter me_

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _Yes and yes._

**Steve Rogers:** _It’s the truth! I’ll see you then._

And because he felt brave, he added a heart to the end. 

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _See you then, hot stuff <3_

Fast forward to Steve going on his usual happy run feeling like a Disney character with the sudden urge to gush about the boy he has a crush on to any birds that would listen in a dramatic musical number. Instead, as Steve ran around a corner, he nearly tripped on the sudden realisation that he has a _date_ tonight. 

He sprinted back to his apartment, feeling people’s gaze on him as he ran at impossible speeds, raced up the flight of stairs, fumbled his way through his door and rested his hands on his knees in the living area, panting with the sudden realisation. He took his phone out with shaking hands and pressed the call button. 

Sam picked up first with a smile and a “hey man!”, then he froze for a second as Natasha connected to the video call as well. 

The smirk quickly fell off her face as she noticed his wide eyes and red face. “Steve?”

Steve groaned, slumping against the wall. “ _Nat,”_ he whined.

Both Sam and Nat raised their eyebrows at him. The screen on his phone was split so that Steve could see that Sam was in his kitchen at the Compound as he rested his phone against something so they could see from his waist up as he made a sandwich. He could see Natasha below Sam, but she was in the training room, a towel slung over her shoulder and wisps of red hair sticking to her face with sweat. 

“Are you okay, man?” Sam asked.

“No!” Steve shouted. “Becca came back from Europe yesterday and she was there when I went to pick Winnie up from school and it was super confusing until I realised she’s Bucky’s _sister_ and then Bucky came home from work and we had dinner together and then I started freaking out that now that Becca was back, I wouldn’t be needed and I wouldn’t see Winnie or Bucky anymore so Bucky walked me to my door and I told him how I was feeling and then he kissed me-”

“Woah!”

“-and then I kissed him back and then he asked me out on a date-”

“Holy shit, Steve.”

“-and then we kissed again and then he said he could go out tonight cause Becca will look after Winnie and then I freaked out on my run and then I called you.”

There was a beat where both Sam and Natasha looked at him quizzically. Natasha spoke first.

“Okay, correct me if I’m wrong on this, Rogers.” She sat down on a bench and wiped some sweat off her face with the towel. “But after pinning over Bucky for what, nearly two months, he finally kisses you and asks you out on a date, and you freak out?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“Why, Sam? Why?” Steve brushed his spare hand through his hair in a panic. “Because I haven’t been on a date, well, in my entire life!”

“But I set you up with all those people?” Nat asked. “You’ve been on dates before. And Peggy.”

Steve sighed. “Peggy was different. And besides, blind dates don’t count.”

Nat rolled her eyes as Sam put his knife down and leant closer to his phone.

“I don’t understand. This is the guy that’s finally put some brightness in your day, you’re smitten with his kid, you cook dinner together three nights a week. You’ve both already practically spilt your life stories to each other. You’ve been vulnerable with him, happy with him.” Sam shrugged. 

“What do you mean, Sam?”

Sam looked at Steve like he was crazy. “It’s _Bucky._ ”

Steve let himself slide down the wall and slump onto the floor, resting his head between his knees with the phone held out so his close friends could see him in all his dramatic glory. Steve groaned and lifted his head.

“Oh my god, you’re right. It is Bucky.”

Natasha let out a laugh as Sam smirked.

“Why am I so freaked out by this?” Steve asked. “You’re right. It’s Bucky. He’s amazing and we’re already great friends. I won’t be like any of the other dates I’ve been on.”

“Exactly,” Sam said. “Just think of it as you two are having dinner without Winnie, in a new place, with some extra kissing.”

“You’ve got this, Steve,” Nat reassured him before taking a swing of her water bottle. She lowered it to reveal her sharp smirk. “And if he hurts you in any way, I’ll make sure there’s no evidence to prove anything.”

Sam laughed as Steve shook his head at his friend.

They were right. Yes, tonight may be a little awkward and weird at first as they try and figure out their new dynamic, but they would be doing something familiar. Dinner with each other, just without the child tagging along. And maybe some added public displays of affection. It was Bucky Barnes, the guy Steve had fallen in sync with and step with so quickly it was kind of concerning.

He always told Nat that he wanted someone with shared life experience, but that was him placing the bar too high. His idea of shared life experience was someone from the thirties who served in the war, but that was unrealistic. He wanted someone he could relate to, yes, but someone who fell into step with him, who could understand and empathise with him, laugh and cry with him. Someone who could compliment Steve, and he could compliment them back.

It might be a little early for that notion with Bucky, but Steve was certain it could turn out that way.

If only he could think of something to wear. 

He ended up with a white shirt, red and white bomber jacket and dark blue jeans. He smiled at himself in the mirror, happy that the smile reflected how happy he felt on the inside. He grabbed his phone, wallet and keys, gently picking up the flower he had bought Bucky and closed his apartment door behind him.

He hid the flower behind his back as he knocked on the door. When it opened, his breath caught in his throat. Bucky’s eyes were sparkling, electricity tingling between them as they let their eyes linger on each other. Bucky was wearing the same leather jacket he wore to the Compound the other day, the exact same one that does things to Steve. Today he paired it with a simple blue button-down shirt and dark blue jeans. Steve so badly wanted to run his hands through Bucky’s soft-looking hair.

“Hi,” Steve said stupidly.

“Hi.” Bucky greeted back.

Winnie’s head stuck out the door by Bucky’s hip, a sceptical look on her face as she regarded Steve. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“What are you doing?” Winnie asked, stepping around Bucky and placing her hands on her hip. Even though she was significantly smaller than Steve, he still felt a little intimidated with her eyes pinned on him. “Why didn’t you pick me up from school?”

“Uh,” Steve floundered for a response because he and Bucky hadn’t talked about the Winnie situation yet. As much as people called him stupid, Steve wasn’t stupid enough to declare he was taking Bucky out on a date in front of his daughter. He didn’t know how Bucky wanted to play this with his kid.

Thankfully, Bucky stepped in. “Steve and I are gonna go do some boring adult stuff. Like doing taxes and cleaning windows.” He stepped around Winnie and gently pushed her back into the apartment. Becca came over and took Winnie’s hand, shooting Steve a suggestive look. Steve flushed and focused his attention on what Bucky was saying. “It will be a snooze fest. Especially ‘cause Steve’s the worst.” 

Steve played along, spluttering in offence. Winnie frowned as Bucky bumped his shoulder with Steve’s. “You’re wrong, Dad. Steve’s the best!” 

Steve’s heart melted through his toes. “Aw, thanks, sunshine.”

Winnie dropped her hands from her hips, giving up her act of detective. “Okay, well, don’t bring any boring adult stuff back home.”

“Yes,” Becca grinned, winking at the boys over Winnie’s head. “You two, don’t have _any_ fun tonight, do you understand?”

Winnie waved and turned around, skipping off further inside the apartment. Bucky slipped his hand into Steve’s, grinning at his sister. “Of course, Becs. Super boring adult stuff to do.”

Steve grinned, squeezing Bucky’s hand. “Yep. Super boring. Super adult.”

Becca laughed and gave them a small smile as she closed the door. Steve’s smile never dropped from his face as he and Bucky turned around to face each other. Bucky leant in and then they were kissing breathlessly. 

Bucky pulled back, grinning. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Steve laughed, stepping back and bringing the flower from behind his back with a flourish. “I picked you a flower.”

Bucky’s smile was almost face splitting as he took the small daisy from Steve’s hands. “Wow, what a gentleman.”

Steve hummed, gently taking the flower from Bucky’s hand, stepping closer and slipping the flower behind Bucky’s ear. He placed a quick kiss on Bucky’s lips before stepping back. He nodded, satisfied. 

Bucky was looking at him softly. “Ready to go, Stevie?”

“Always, Buck.” 

They took each other’s hand and walked down the stairs together, butterflies and electricity shocking Steve’s body with every breath he took. They talked about Bucky’s day on the way to Prospect Park, holding hands the entire time. They got to Prospect Park just as Bucky was telling him about handing out the last of the marked assignments.

“You should have seen Susie’s face, Steve.” Bucky’s face was lit up as he talked about something he was passionate about. “She looked like she was going to faint. She worked so hard on this inquiry, I could tell.”

Steve kissed him on the cheek because he felt like it and he could. “Then she deserves the highest in the cohort.”

Bucky hummed, kissing Steve back. “I can’t wait to read her books.”

Steve pulled away, laughing. “You’re such a nerd.”

“Punk.”

“Jerk.”

They walked around the festival first, checking out the different food trucks to see what they wanted. There were probably around fifteen trucks, set up in a few rows to allow people to walk through and browse the menus. Steve ended up with a classic burger from an all American food truck. Bucky giggled when he pointed out the shield paintings scattered around the truck. Bucky decided on chicken satay sticks and they both bought a monster milkshake each. 

In a circle around the rows of trucks were groups of hay bales, kids running around and jumping from bale to bale as their parents ate and laughed. There were picnic tables and benches scattered around too, with poles in the ground and fairy lights connecting them. As Steve and Bucky walked around after they had gotten their food, looking for a place to sit, they stopped in front of a duo performing at the busiest part of the trucks. Bucky hummed along to the song for a few moments, pressing his back to Steve who rested his chin on Bucky’s shoulder. 

They clapped as best they could with their food in their hands before watching as a young teenage couple left a picnic bench. Steve and Bucky darted over to it, giving the girls a small smile as they took the vacated table.

“This is amazing, Steve,” Bucky said, after taking a bite of his food. “This place has such a good-” He struggled to find the words. “-such a good _vibe_.”

Steve laughed. He couldn’t deny Bucky’s thoughts though. It was the second week of Spring, so with the smell of new beginnings, fairy lights, laughter, good music and food, Steve loved it here too. He felt warm and cosy and he knew that this was going to be perfect for their first date. 

Bucky rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his milkshake before his eyes went comically high as the sugar hit him in full force. “Holy shit, I’m gonna be so buzzed by the end of tonight.”

Steve chuckled. “There’s no alcohol in that, Buck.”

Bucky took another sip, his cheeks hollowing. Steve gulped. “Fine. I’ll be high by the end of the night with the amount of sugar this thing has.”

“A regular occurrence for you, though?” Steve took a bite of his burger, cheesy greasy goodness exploding in his mouth. “With Grandma Barnes’ recipes.”

“Yes. Freddie Barnes does like to live on the wild side.”

“How is she?”

Bucky’s lips twitched. “My mother is fine. I received no less than twenty messages from her yesterday morning asking me if I’ve been eating and sleeping.”

“Don’t you have a daughter? Aren’t you a responsible adult?”

Bucky held his hand up in a so/so gesture. “Eh. If she doesn’t hear from me for three or so days she can get a bit worried.”

“And your dad?”

“George is swell.”

Steve took another bite of his burger, watching Bucky. Bucky quirked an eyebrow in curiosity but continued drinking his sugaring drink. Steve decided to bite the bullet.

“What about your birthday on Sunday? Are they coming back to the city for that?”

Bucky’s jaw dropped a little bit. “You remembered my birthday?”

Steve shrugged, lowering his burger so he could rub the back of his neck. “How could I not? The most important day of the year.”

Bucky sagged forward, resting his body weight on his elbows and hanging his head. He let out a slow breath. Steve was about to reach out in concern, worried he had made Bucky upset by mentioning his birthday or his parents, but Bucky’s head shot up. He looked flustered. His eyes were a little wide, his cheeks dusty with pink, bottom lip caught in his teeth.

“You okay, Buck?”

Bucky tilted a little to the side before righting himself. “I’m perfect, Stevie. You remembered my birthday.”

Steve's shoulders slumped a little, utterly confused by the situation. 

Bucky sensed this and leant forward, taking Steve’s hand in his own and squeezing. “It just hit me that I’m going to celebrate my birthday with someone that isn’t my family in six years. And they remembered too.”

Steve’s chest hollowed as Bucky’s words registered with him. “Six years?”

Bucky shrugged, a little embarrassed. “Yeah. I don’t have that many people, remember? I usually spend the day with Winnie and Becca, sometimes my parents if they fly over. I’ll get messages from cousins, work colleagues, some of my unit but I haven’t had a party or drinks with friends.”

Steve frowned. “Do you want to go out on Sunday? Maybe I can ask Sam and Nat if they want to join. Becca too. Winnie and I had made some plans but we can-”

“Steve,” Bucky squeezed his hand. “I’m sure that whatever you and Winnie have planned will be perfect. I’m happy to spend the day with you two and Becca.”

“You sure?”

Bucky leant over the table and gave Steve a sweet, lingering kiss. “It would be the best birthday ever if I got to spend it with you three. Especially you, Stevie.”

Steve gave him another kiss before he sat down as he found it hard to find the words he wanted to say to Bucky then. 

They continued to eat and just as Bucky finished his milkshake the duo performing music encouraged people to get up and dance. Bucky looked with him with a mischievous glint in his eyes that was so gorgeous Steve was helpless to say no. He recognised some of the songs as they danced, hands slipping over each other. The sun had set, leaving a pink and purple glow in the air. Steve had never wished so hard that he could see the stars then. It would have been perfect, Bucky’s body pressed to his, their belly's full, fairy lights twinkling as they danced to the music.

Steve was breathless half an hour later, both from the energy of dancing and the arousal of having Bucky so close. Steve didn’t stop himself from brushing his hands through Bucky’s hair before resting them on the back of Bucky’s neck, pulling him in for a sweet kiss. Steve closed his eyes when Bucky pulled back, savouring the sensations. Bucky giggled and gave him a quick peck. 

“Let’s go for a walk, Stevie.”

Bucky took his hand and after Steve had thrown some notes into the hat by the guitarist's feet, they grabbed their jackets from their table and walked further into the park. 

Bucky swung their hands in between them, grinning. “I’m having fun.”

Steve smiled, his cheeks aching. “I’m glad. I am too.”

Bucky hummed. The moonlight that filtered in through the trees made Bucky glow. It cast shadows on his face, highlighting his cheekbones and sinful lips. He looked fluffy and soft with the daisy still tucked behind his ear. The moonlight caught the blue of his eye, turning them into a pool so beautiful Steve could feel himself drowning in them. He didn’t notice that they had stopped on their path until their lips were pressed together again.

Bucky’s hand was gripping Steve’s biceps as he cupped Bucky’s face, their lips pushing together in a surge of desire as Steve bit Bucky’s bottom lip, gaining access to his mouth when Bucky gasped. Steve walked forward, Bucky only held up by Steve’s hands, until Bucky’s back hit a tree. He moaned into Steve’s mouth, their tongues dancing together, sparking a fire in their veins. 

Steve’s hands slid down Bucky’s throat, down over his chest and abdomen before resting on Bucky’s hips. He felt Bucky’s breath catch as he moved his mouth from Bucky’s lips to his jaw, then his ear, then his neck. Kissing and sucking and nibbling as he went. Steve could feel his lungs and chest tightening, so much like his childhood asthma but still so different as they made breathless noises into each other's skin.

They seemed to come to the unspoken agreement to calm down. Steve knew that if he didn’t slow them down then he would very quickly have an uncomfortable situation in his jeans. He pressed his lips against Bucky’s again, kissing him slow and sweet. Bucky sagged against the tree, his hand in Steve’s hair. They both pulled away panting, resting their foreheads together, eyes closed. 

“God,” Bucky kissed the corner of Steve’s mouth. “You’re really good at it.”

“Says you.”

Bucky giggled.

Steve opened his eyes to find Bucky’s opened, a little blown from lust, but still a heart-breaking blue. “Hey.”

“Hi.”

Steve kissed him again, short but sweet and pulled away. “You look gorgeous in the moonlight.”

Bucky’s breath hitched as he looked at Steve, pink lightly dusting his cheeks.

Steve groaned. “And you’re fucking adorable when you blush.”

Bucky's smile grew into a smirk as he watched Steve run a hand through his hair. 

Steve bit his lip, fixing the flower behind Bucky’s ear. “And you’re so fucking hot when you smirk.”

Bucky tugged on his hand, forcing Steve closer to him. He slipped his hand into the crook of Steve’s elbow, pulling him until they fell into an easy step together. “Thanks, Rogers.”

Steve kissed Bucky’s temple, glad to have the other man anchor him. He was sure he was going to float away. 

They walked through the park, following the paths and letting the moonlight wash over them. Bucky’s hand stayed in Steve’s elbow the entire time, their bodies pressed together to give them warmth from the fresh night-time Spring air. They laughed and giggled, pressing kisses to each other’s skin when they got the chance. They walked past a few people but Steve didn’t care if they recognised him or thought he was crazy because of the manic smile on his face.

Yes, his cheeks hurt, and he was a little cold and tired, but he was with Bucky Barnes. The man who nearly caused Steve to spontaneously combust each time he so much as looked at him. Steve never wanted the night to end, but eventually, they found themselves at the entry to the park.

Bucky frowned as Steve pulled out his phone to check the time. It was nearing eleven. 

“We should probably get back so Becca can go home.”

Steve hummed, regretful they had to leave but understanding. They left the park, the music and lights fading from the festival as they dodged the crowded Friday night New York streets. They didn’t mind, keeping their heads leant towards each other, eyes on the path in front of them, so they could hear each other as they talked. Steve had just finished a story of Tony’s last birthday party when they lapsed into a comfortable silence.

The only warning Steve got was Bucky squeezing his elbow before pulling him into a small alleyway. Steve’s face scrunched with confusion as Bucky released Steve’s arm, stepping back to brush his hand through his hair. Steve put his hands into his pockets for warmth, watching Bucky with concern. They were only a block from their apartment building.

“Buck?”

“Sorry,” his lips twitch, his eyes on the ground. “I just need to talk to you about something.”

Steve’s heart started to thrum in his chest but he ignored his own nerves, stepping closer to Bucky to place his hand on Bucky’s arm. Steve waited for Bucky to obviously collect his thoughts. 

“Okay,” Bucky let out a breath and looked back up to Steve. His face was pulled into lines of worry but Steve was still glad to see happiness in Bucky’s eyes. “I have two important points of conversation that I need you to listen to before speaking. Can you do that?”

Steve nodded his head, dropping his hand from Bucky’s arm to grab his hand in a show of support.

“They’re both about Winnie.” Steve opened his mouth to say something but Bucky shot him a look. Steve’s jaw snapped shut. “She’s fine, obviously. It’s just- we need to be careful around her now. This, uh, _development_ , in our relationship could be confusing for her. She’s only six years old but she understands what love is and means. She understands that parents kiss and live together, but she doesn’t understand _how_ that happens.”

Bucky sighed, rolling his neck back so he could look up at the sky. The lights in the small side street cast shadows on his face so only Steve could see his eyes. “If she sees _us_ kissing and doing what she would associate as _parent_ things, she could jump to conclusions.” Steve’s heart clenched. “That’s why I need to ask you for a favour. I want you in Winnie’s life, of course. You’ve become such an important part of her week and she would be devastated if you stopped picking her up from school and eating dinner with us.”

Bucky dropped his head back so he could look Steve in the eye. “That’s why I need to ask you that we don’t have any PDA in front of Winnie. We can touch, and hug and do the things we were doing before, but no talking about dates or kissing on the lips. If she sees those things she’ll jump on the fact that you're her other dad. Whilst that sounds pretty good to me, _we aren’t there yet_. Do you understand?”

Steve nodded slowly, swallowing the rock in his throat. “Yeah, Buck. I understand.” Steve bit his lip. “I don’t want to over step and do things that would make it difficult with Winnie, so you set the pace, okay? When you think we’re ready and when she’s ready, then we can talk again about this. I’d love to kiss you whenever I wanted to, be with you all day, but I understand. We’re only on the first date, we don’t know where this will go.”

Bucky let out a relieved breath, sagging forward until his forehead rested against Steve’s chest. Steve brought his hand up to scratch at the back of Bucky’s hair as he spoke. “Thank you, Steve. Really. I know this is a heavy subject for the first date but you’re right. This is new and we don’t know anything. Even though I want this to continue because you make me so fucking happy, we can’t predict the future.”

Steve smiled, pressing a soft kiss to Bucky’s hair. “Of course, Buck. What was your second point?”

Bucky pulled back, his face tightening as he spoke. “A promise.”

“A promise?”

Bucky nodded, his grey-blue eyes pinning Steve to where he stood. “Promise me right now that you will do everything in your power not to break my baby’s heart. You can break mine, leave me, do whatever you want. But promise me that whatever happens between us, you’ll think of her first. You won’t break her heart and if you leave, you give her a kiss and hug goodbye. Promise me you won’t break her heart.”

Steve stood there, silent, as he watched the emotions flood Bucky’s eyes. Steve took Bucky’s hand in his own shaking hands and pressed Bucky’s palm over Steve’s heart. Steve had tunnel vision for Bucky’s eyes, the same blue as Winnie’s. He thought of both their smiles, their laughs, their hearts. He didn’t want to break either. He adored them too much.

“I promise you, Bucky Barnes,” Steve said, squeezing his hands over Bucky’s. “I will do everything in my power not to break Winnie’s heart. I promise that if I leave, which I don’t want to do, I will leave her with a kiss and a hug. I promise not to break her heart.”

Bucky swallowed, satisfied. He tried to take his hand from Steve’s chest, but Steve forced it to stay there.

“And,” Steve said. “I promise to do everything in my power not to break yours too, Bucky. I promise to try my hardest so I don’t have to leave.”

Bucky smiled softly at him, sagging into Steve’s arms. They wrapped their arms around each other, hugging tightly. Steve rested his face in the crook of Bucky’s neck, blinking away the wave of emotion he had just experienced. Bucky was right, in every aspect. It was so early in their relationship and it was a heavy subject for their first date, but Steve had become an important part of Winnie’s life. It wasn’t just the two of them in this relationship. Winnie was there too and they needed to look after her as much as they could.

Steve was happy to follow Bucky’s lead with this. He knew what was best for his daughter. Steve was happy enough to continue picking Winnie up from school and having dinner with the Barnes'. He was totally fine with stealing kisses from Bucky when he got the chance. 

When they pulled back from the hug, Steve kissed Bucky’s forehead. He had spoken so strongly about them, about how Steve made him feel, that Steve felt a surge of confidence as he spoke. “So, does this mean we’re dating? Boyfriends?”

Bucky grinned at him taking Steve’s hand and letting it sway between them. “Yeah, Rogers. We’re going steady.”

Steve laughed, throwing his head back in delight. Bucky watched him with a sparkle in his eyes as they walked out of the alleyway, holding hands, back to their apartment building. Steve felt like he was floating, a hot air balloon, floating through the sky with the moonlight honey seeping into his joints and the wind rustling in his hair, his happiness like a supernova about to burst in his chest. 

He felt joyous and free, young and alive, happy and okay. It was surreal. Bucky’s voice replaying in his head. _Going steady_. They were dating, in a committed exclusive relationship, and Steve, in the first time of his life, was _excited_ about the future. He wanted to live it.

They stopped out the front of their doors, kissing sweetly. Soon it proved fruitless because their smiles only grew, making it impossible to kiss. They stayed standing close to each other, arms wrapped around the other, foreheads resting together, smiling like absolute idiots. Steve didn’t really care, because he had his _boyfriend_ in his arms. 

Eventually, Bucky’s eyes flickered to the door. “Could you please use your superhero x-ray vision to see if my sister is watching us through the peephole like an absolute creep?”

Steve giggled and turned them so they were facing the door, Bucky’s arm wrapped around his waist, Steve’s arm wrapped around his upper back. Bucky rested his head on Steve’s shoulder as Steve squinted at the door, trying his hardest for the serum to give him x-ray vision suddenly. Bucky watched with amusement from his shoulder.

Steve rubbed his eyes, sighing, before glaring at the door again. Bucky burst into a fit of laughter, sagging further into Steve as Steve exaggerated what it would be like with x-ray vision.

“So?” Bucky asked.

“She’s definitely there.”

Bucky’s eyebrows shot up. “What?” He spun his head around to the door and watched it sceptically. “How do you know that?”

“X-ray vision.”

Bucky giggled.

“Nah,” Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “I can hear her heartbeat and the slight creak of the floor as she shifts on her feet. She's pretty close to the door.”

The door flung open to a flustered Becca, hair a little looser than before but with a blinding smirk etched onto her face. “Hello, boys.”

Steve watched in amusement as Bucky turned beet red, making embarrassing noises from the back of his throat. “Becca! How long have you been there?”

“Long enough for it to be creepy.”

Bucky groaned, falling into Steve’s chest, his hand thrown over his forehead dramatically. Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky, holding him against his chest and looking at Becca with pink cheeks.

“Hey, Becca.”

“Hi, Steve.” She leant against the doorframe, crossing her arms over her chest. She was still smirking, not caring she had been caught watching. “Have a good time?”

“Very.” Steve agreed.

Bucky used Steve to push himself back up so he could stand. He took Steve’s hand and gave it a quick squeeze before kissing him on the cheek. He took a few backwards steps to his door. “Thanks for an amazing night, Stevie.”

“Thank _you,_ Buck.” Steve’s heart soared. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Bucky grinned, Becca rolling her eyes behind him. She said goodnight to Steve before retreating into the apartment. Bucky gave him a small wave, his face bright, before stepping back into the apartment and slowly closing the door. 

Steve, accepting his status as an Idiot, stood there for a few moments, letting the reality of the night wash over him. His cheeks hurt from his smile but it didn’t stop him smiling as he did his night routine before rolling over in bed to grab his phone. Shamelessly, he sent Bucky a text.

**Steve Rogers:** _This may be cheesy and a little desperate, but I’m glad you’re my boyfriend._

He responded a few seconds later. 

**Bucky Barnes <3:** _It’s not at all cheesy because I’m very happy I’m your boyfriend too._

 **Steve Rogers:** _That’s awesome._

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _Omg, you’re such a dork. Goodnight Stevie <3_

**Steve Rogers:** _Goodnight, Buck <3 <3_

***

They spent the next day together too. Steve woke up with giddiness and it didn’t leave him for the entire day. They went to the shops together, the three of them, to get some art and craft supplies for a project Winnie had due the following week.

They sat themselves up on the balcony, glad for the new Spring sun, glitter, paper, scissors, glue and a million other craft supplies surrounding them. Music from Bucky’s phone hung in the air around them as they sang and danced, laughing and mucking around. When Winnie ran back inside to grab something, Bucky gripped Steve’s chin so tightly to hold him for a hard kiss that Steve was dazed for a while afterwards. 

They produced a beautiful poster and 3D model of the solar system and Bucky sat it on the kitchen bench. They stepped away from it, Steve’s arm over Bucky’s shoulder, Bucky’s arm around Steve’s waist, Steve’s hand in Winnie’s hair. They were smiling, proud of what they produced.

Steve and Bucky cooked dinner together, Winnie was occupied by the TV, allowing the men to sneak kisses and whisper in each other's ear as much as they wanted. Steve lived for every second.

***

March tenth rolled around on an even brighter spring day. Bucky rolled his eyes, but Steve insisted the day was brighter because they were celebrating thirty-three years of Bucky Barnes.

Steve let himself into the apartment quietly in the morning and gently woke Winnie. They tried to keep quiet as they made breakfast but Bucky came stumbling out with bed hair, rubbing his eyes, shirt tucked up his stomach. Steve watched in amusement as Winnie herded her dad back into his room, and soon they went back in with a full breakfast in bed. Bucky teared up a little, touched by the gesture.

Steve only stole pieces of the waffles when Bucky was distracted but Winnie wasn’t ashamed as she stole pieces of food right off of Bucky’s fork. They stayed in bed a little longer after Bucky had finished eating, Steve and Bucky lying on the bed with Winnie cuddled into their sides.

Steve caught Bucky’s eye over the top of Winnie’s head. They smiled at each other, their cheeks pink not from the body heat of a small child pressed to their sides.

Becca joined them after Winnie and Bucky had gotten dressed. They went for a long walk through the park together, Becca taking Winnie to the playground allowing the men to go for a walk alone. They found themselves against a tree again, only returning to Becca a while longer, blushing and running hands through their hair to force it back into a respectful style. Becca winked at them.

Before dinner, they exchanged gifts. Winnie had painted a book for Bucky, a tale on a smart superhero and her one-armed side kick. He cried as he laughed as Winnie explained each picture and read the speech bubbles that she and Steve had written. Becca gifted him a new expensive winter coat and an apple, which they explained, as they laughed, was a sibling joke. Becca making fun of Bucky for becoming a teacher even after a rant about the profession when they were fifteen or something. Steve watched in amusement as they passed the apple between them, eating it. He decided not to question it.

Steve was nervous about his present but was glad when Bucky’s face lit up. He had taken a special trip to the Compound and had spent a day in the storage facility, going through boxes and boxes of the Avengers personal items. He had found some weird things, but he continued to search for the boxes he knew were his. He felt a little weird giving Bucky propaganda posters and books, photographs and letters, little knick-knacks, from his childhood. They were old and tattered, the pages yellowing and metal rusting. There was a bundle of letters from Captain America fans from his USO tour Steve had never opened that he gave to Bucky.

He reasoned with himself that Bucky loved history, that these were amazing primary resources from a time that Bucky studied and taught religiously. Whilst that was correct, the gifts were also a way to share more of himself with Bucky. A part that Steve had started to forget. 

Steve was happy when Bucky opened everything with care, eyes wide as he took everything in. He thanked Steve profusely for the gifts, mementoes from a time passed. He said a quiet thank you when Steve explained the restored briefcase used to belong to Joseph Rogers, then Sarah Rogers, before ending up in Peggy Carter's apartment after she had cleared out Steve’s apartment after his ‘death’. Steve had found it when going through Peggy’s things with Sharon and had restored it, not knowing what to do with it. He didn’t need a briefcase in his line of work. But Bucky might. He even added a strap to it so Bucky could wear it over his shoulder, leaving his one hand free.

After dinner, they video called Bucky’s parents. Steve waited anxiously in the kitchen, cleaning up, as the three Barnes’ talked animatedly on the phone. Bucky noticed, because of course he did, and waved Steve over, introducing him to his parents as his ‘close friend’. Steve smiled and waved, answering Freddie and George’s questions as they came.

Freddie was a lovely woman, quick as a whip, overprotective and confident as hell. Steve quickly came to understand that Winnie took after her namesake, that they got along together like a house on fire. Becca too. 

Bucky was a little bit more like George. Sarcastic and witty, sure, but calming. They watched the girls with the same warm blue eyes, laughed the same, shook their heads in exasperation the same. Steve learned that Bucky’s love from history stemmed from his father. He grew up on stories of George’s expeditions as an archaeologist and travelling historian. George, however, much like Bucky, didn’t freak out when he realised he was talking to a living fossil.

Steve found himself squashed between the Barnes’ twins, Winnie sitting on his lap as Becca held up the phone so all of them were in the frame. They told Freddie and George about their day and their weeks. Winnie explained her book birthday gift in great detail again, glad that her jokes were still a hit with everyone as they clutched their stomachs in pain from the laughter. Freddie gushed about the new coat from Becca and Steve could tell that George wanted to get on a plane as soon as Bucky pulled over the box of trinkets Steve had given him. Bucky promised to have a one on one video chat with George to show him everything. 

Becca convinced Winnie to move into the kitchen with her to get the cake ready so Bucky and Steve retreated to the balcony for some privacy. At Bucky’s direction, Steve closed the balcony door.

“Everything okay, Bucky?” Freddie asked, eyes flickering across the screen from Steve, the closed door and Bucky.

“Yeah,” Bucky stepped closer to Steve, snuggling in so Steve had to throw an arm around his shoulder. “I just wanted to tell you that Steve and I are dating.”

“Atta boy.”

“Oh my god, more grandbabies!”

After Bucky calmed his parents down a little, their questions turned a little more serious. Steve recognised Freddie’s protective streak coming out, so he did his best to put on his ‘All American Beef Cake’ charm, as literally, the entire Avengers called it. It seemed to work because Freddie’s face softened and George started smiling again.

Or maybe it was the way Steve held Bucky, how Bucky looked relaxed and happy. How they looked at each other. Either way, Steve was very happy he had seemed to gain the parent's approval. Both for dating Bucky and being around for Winnie. 

“We’ll give you the shovel talk in person, Steve,” Freddie said, her blue eyes sharp. “But I’ll let your imagination run wild with the possibilities until then.”

“Ma!” Bucky barked. “You do realise one of his best friends is a Russian super-spy?”

“Nothing compared to two retired parents who love their son very much.”

“She’s right, Buck.” Steve kissed him on the temple. “Nat wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“Oh, god. I love him already.”

“Dad!”

They all sang happy birthday to Bucky, who looked so happy that Steve felt it in the air. Bucky blew out the candles but kept his eyes closed for a moment as he made his wish.

“What did you wish for, Daddy?”

“I can’t tell you, baby, can I? Otherwise it won’t come true.”

From the look in Bucky’s eyes as he scanned the room, Winnie on Becca’s hip, Steve holding the phone with his parents on it, Steve could take an educated guess as to what Bucky’s wish was. He hoped it would come true too.

_That this was forever._

Becca left an hour later, a kiss on the cheek for Winnie, Bucky and Steve as she went. Bucky and Steve wrangled Winnie into a bath, Bucky staying with her and Steve moving around the living area and kitchen, cleaning plates and cutlery, and putting wrapping paper in the bin. He pinned Bucky’s birthday cards on the fridge and carefully placed Winnie’s book on the kitchen bench, leaving Bucky to decide where to put it.

They said goodnight to Winnie, each placing a kiss on her cheeks, her forehead and her nose. Winnie whispered a sleepy happy birthday as she drifted off. Bucky wiped a tear from his eye before following Steve to sit on the couch.

They snuggled under a blanket together and put on Bucky’s favourite Harry Potter film, _Prisoner of Azkaban._ As the credits rolled, Bucky placed a quick kiss on Steve’s chin. “Thank you, Stevie. This has been the best birthday I’ve ever had. I’ll never be able to express how much today has meant to me.”

Steve kissed his hair. “I’m really glad you enjoyed it, Buck. You honestly deserve today and so much more.”

Bucky sighed, closing his eyes and basking in their warmth.

“The gifts weren’t too weird, were they?” Steve blurted. “I know it’s weird to give you a clock from 1921 but I thought you’d appreciate the history and I know the briefcase might be a bit much, not to mention the war posters-”

“Steve,” Bucky stated, turning around to rest his chin on Steve’s chest, looking up at Steve seriously. “I love it all. The history nerd in me is freaking out because _holy shit American war propaganda from 1944?!_ But I appreciate it all so much more because they’re pieces from your life that you’ve decided to share with me. Pieces of your past you're willing to part with. I appreciate it so much. It just makes me adore you even more.”

Steve sunk further into the couch, relieved and happy. “Wow, Barnes. You adore me?”

Bucky grinned and leaned up to place a heated kiss on his mouth. “My adoration grows for you each second, Steve Rogers.”

They kissed for what felt forever, Bucky resting his weight on top of Steve’s and their hands explored each other's skin. It was heated and passionate, but sweet and slow. They kept it to a medium pace, knowing they couldn’t take it anywhere. Not tonight.

Steve left the apartment, floating. Bucky kissed him out the front of their doors.

“I talked to Becca today.”

“Hmm?”

“How do you feel about Wednesday being date night?”

Steve perked up. “Date night?”

“Yes, you dork.” Bucky pushed him playfully in the chest. “Becca’s new job allows for her to pick Winnie up from school on Wednesday’s and I finish my classes just after lunch, which means Wednesday can be our date night.”

“Wow.” Steve breathed, a smile growing on his face.

“Yeah. You do your normal nights and come round for dinner whenever. We can even spend the weekend together if you want.”

“Yeah,” Steve breathed. “I want.”

“Good,” Bucky kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow for dinner, Rogers.”

“Have a good day at work tomorrow!”

“I’ll try!” Bucky said before closing his apartment door with a smile.

***

For the next three weeks, Steve was at apartment 3B nearly every night for dinner. He’d come over a little after Winnie got back from school on Monday’s, but he’d pick Winnie up like usual on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. And as much as he loved Winnie and loved spending time with her, Wednesdays very quickly became Steve’s favourite day of the week.

Bucky’s classes finished just after lunch on Wednesdays and Steve usually met him out the front of their doors with a smile on his face. They’d go inside, chill, eat, kiss, and decide what they would do. 

On the first Wednesday, they went out to dinner at a greasy, well-loved diner around the corner. They shared a strawberry milkshake and Steve pretended to be annoyed when Bucky stole the chips from his plate. With nearly matching leather jackets, they walked to the local movie theatre, holding hands, and picked the old movie re-run. Bucky bought the tickets and Steve bought the snacks. Bucky rolled his eyes, smiling, as Steve loudly complained about inflation and the economy. He giggled when Steve yelled ‘back in my day’, and Steve nearly tripped over from the pure joy in his chest. They watched the movie about a kid who loved to dance in a town of old farts, holding hands, heads resting together. 

That weekend they went to the zoo with Winnie. Steve walked around with Winnie on his shoulders, one hand holding Bucky’s, the other taking pictures per Winnie’s request. They stayed there the whole day, slowly making their way from animal to animal, stopping for ice cream and a picnic at lunch. Steve got the perfect video of Bucky and Winnie pressed against the wall of the lion's cage, roaring at the top of their lungs, trying to communicate with the two lions who looked so disinterested that Winnie yelled “roar, you stupid idiots”. Steve had to quickly herd the two giggling Barnes’ out of there before the old couple on the bench called zoo security. By the end of the day, however, Steve had a new phone wallpaper. 

Winnie was wearing her favourite yellow sundress, sunglasses pushing her hair from her face. Her face was scrunched up in laughter as she stood next to the glass of the meerkat enclosure, hands folded at her chest, imitating the meerkat’s doing the exact same thing in a line behind her. Standing next to her was Bucky, the top two buttons of his blue button-down t-shirt undone, tanned, defined arms holding the same pose as Winnie. The sides of his mouth were turned up, showing what he looked like before a wide smile overtook his face. His own black sunglasses were pushed back into his air, allowing Steve to see the beautiful blue of his eyes. 

Steve wasn’t ashamed when Bucky saw the photo as his wallpaper at the art show the following Wednesday. He was extremely glad when Bucky pushed him into a supply closet, mouth hot on Steve’s neck. When Steve caught up with Natasha for brunch the following day, she smirked when she saw the hickeys. 

“What did you do, Rogers? Fall down the stairs and bruise your neck?”

Steve sniffed. “No. Bucky gave me a blowjob.”

She spat her coffee back into the mug, eyes wide. Steve laughed.

Steve was quietly glad when they turned up to the Avengers catch up the following night and most of the team were on a mission. It was only Tony, Peter, Pepper and Rhodey with Bucky and Steve, but Sam and Nat made sure to connect through comms for an hour. They could hear the sounds of a fight, but Nat and Sam didn’t waver in conversation the entire time.

Tony was the only one who gave them shit for the development in their relationship. Pepper and Rhodey were too nice and polite, and Peter just showered them in praise. Steve was sure that he would be in for it when Sam connected through Friday’s speakers but was surprised when there was no teasing. He resigned himself to hearing all of it in person when they saw each other next.

Tony cooked them his mother's pasta recipe as it was only the six of them. They migrated back to the couch and watched a movie, Steve and Bucky snuggling together as Tony situated himself between Pepper and Rhodey, Peter lying across the three of them as their own blanket. 

Before they left, Steve made sure to speak to Peter.

“Hey, Queens?”

Peter looked up from the mug he was rising in the sink. Bucky was saying goodbye to the others by the elevator, none of them noticing Steve and Peter in the kitchen.

“Yeah, Brooklyn?”

A warmth settled in Steve’s chest. He could never get over the fact that this kid had wormed himself into their weird, dysfunctional family. He had become one of the most important things in Tony’s life, had cracked the code to Tony and had become his kid. He would forever be grateful to Peter for looking after Tony when he couldn’t, for being there for the billionaire. How Tony, and really the rest of the Avengers, had gotten so lucky to have the best person to pass their mantle onto beat Steve. They’d gotten so lucky.

“I know you’ve got a lot on your plate at the moment, but I was wondering how you felt about babysitting?” Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “The only babysitter we have for Winnie is Bucky’s sister but I don’t want to keep taking up her nights all the time. Would you be happy to split the load with her sometimes? We’d pay you of course-”

“Steve,” Peter nodded, placing the mug into the dishwasher before pressing start. “That sounds great. I wouldn’t be able to do it straight after school cause I’ll need to get some patrolling in, but I can totally do dinners and wait for you two crazy cats to get home.”

Steve laughed. “Thanks, sport.”

“Anytime, old man.”

Peter babysat Winnie that Sunday night so Steve could take Bucky to a special space exhibition they’d set up in Manhattan. The roof of the room was projected with the night sky, Bucky’s eyes reflecting the universe. As they walked around the room, Bucky reading the signs with wide eyes and excitement thrumming in his veins, Steve couldn’t help the sappy thoughts flooding his brains about how very quickly Bucky had become the centre of Steve’s own universe.

For their third Wednesday, Steve surprised Bucky at the school. He brought a bouquet of flowers, blushing out the front of the history wing as students walked past, gawking and giggling. He waited patiently, though, for Bucky to walk out. He was talking to a young girl, nodding as she spoke. Steve felt himself turn to syrup when he saw that Bucky was using Steve’s father’s briefcase. He melted on the floor when Bucky looked up and his entire body softened when he saw Steve with the flowers. He walked purposely over, gently dropped the briefcase at their feet and cupped Steve’s jaw, bringing him in for a kiss as students wolf-whistled and clapped around them. Steve didn’t care if they took photos and it somehow got leaked to the press, he was too happy to care.

They went for ice cream and then hunkered down in Steve’s apartment for the rest of the night. Bucky joined Steve in binge-watching the latest season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine as they traded the pizza box between them. They snuggled in Steve’s bed with the laptop on their legs, breaths mingling. It wasn’t like their previous dates, but somehow Steve loved it so much more. They were in his bed, laughing together, their bodies pressed to each other. It felt intimate in a way that their previous date hadn’t. 

Bucky seemed to enjoy the date. Guessing by the way he’d given Steve a blowjob in the bed then shouted as Steve reciprocated. Bucky stumbled out of Steve’s bed around ten when Becca sent an annoyed text but not without Steve pulling him back to bed for a leisurely kiss that had Steve feeling schmoopy inside.

He expected that his insides would permanently be like jelly for the rest of his life with Bucky in it. 

Over the next few days, Steve noticed that the sketchbook he had previously gradually been drawing in was overflowing with sketches of Bucky. Bucky in the sunlight, his head was thrown back as he laughed, Bucky under the moonlight, stars twinkling in his eyes, Bucky cooking, Bucky watching TV, Bucky without his shirt. He wasn’t embarrassed when Bucky found the sketchbook and he was extremely giddy when Bucky asked him to stay the night.

They had Bucky’s place to themselves on that Saturday night because Bucky had organised for Winnie to go to a friend's house for a sleepover. They cooked together like usual and ate out on the balcony with a few candles surrounding them. Bucky convinced Steve to dance with him after moving the coffee table out. Steve let himself sink into the moment, allowed himself to feel giddy and happy, schmoopy and on the ledge of falling in love. 

When Bucky convinced Steve to twirl, he did, but tripped on the rug, bringing Bucky with him. They ended up on the ground, Bucky bracing himself above Steve, breathing hard before Steve leant up and pressed his lips to Bucky’s. 

Their hands travelled over each other, fumbling to get clothes off, pressing their flushed skin to each other. They blindly made their way to Bucky’s room, tripping over their feet but not letting their lips leave the other's skin. Bucky fell back onto the bed with a loud laugh, Steve joining in as he hovered over Bucky.

“You want this?” Steve whispered against Bucky’s neck.

Bucky slipped his hand into Steve’s hair, tugging on it to bring Steve’s face to his. He placed a sweet kiss on Steve’s lips, biting the bottom one before pulling back. “I want you,” he whispered back.

They smiled at each other. Steve let his lips travel over Bucky’s chest, lingering on his scares as Bucky mapped out Steve’s torso with his hands. The air around them was hot, their breathing hard. Steve had never felt so much heat and love. He was intoxicated.

Afterwards, Bucky rested his head on Steve’s chest, tracing shapes across Steve’s skin. He felt peaceful lying there, his boyfriend in his arms, his body lose and relaxed. He wanted to experience this for as long as he could.

“We’ll have to do that again sometime.” Bucky placed a quick kiss on Steve’s chest before Steve started to laugh, tightening his grip around Bucky’s back.

“Yeah, Buck. Definitely.”

They fell asleep together, naked, their limbs tangled together. Steve was sure the smile on his face stayed the whole night because he was with Bucky, in his bed, sleeping together. They were boyfriends and Steve could feel himself wobbling on the cliff face about to fall in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dies*
> 
> have a good day and stay safe <3


	8. It takes away my summertime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam rolled his eyes so hard Steve felt the need to call an emergency optometrist if that was even a thing. “What the hell is up with you, man? I haven’t seen you this happy since you started that Twitter fight with Donald Trump and most of that was righteous anger anyways.”
> 
> Steve shrugged, walking in the direction of the park they’d be running in with Sam falling into step beside him. “Probably Bucky.”
> 
> Sam huffed and shot Steve a look, but he was smiling. “All I’m going to hear from here on out is just Bucky, right?”
> 
> “Yep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the shortest chapter of the whole fic (4700 words) and um... yeah, have fun, i guess
> 
> title from The Sunshine Song by Jason Marz

Steve woke up Monday morning to a string of texts from Sam. 

**Sam Wilson:** _Rise and shine old man. Free for a run?_

**Sam Wilson:** _You might actually have a chance to beat me this time. Little sore from last week's mission, so count your blessings._

**Sam Wilson:** _You better not be fucking Barnes and not answering my texts. Bros before hoes, man._

**Sam Wilson:** _Don’t tell Bucky I said that. I’m trying to maintain my nice, best friend persona I’ve got going on. It’s part of my charm._

**Sam Wilson:** _Fine, don’t answer me. I’m coming over. You and Barnes better be fucking clothed, I don’t need to be scarred for the rest of my life._

**Steve Rogers:** _Good morning, Sam! Yes, I am free for a run. Yes, I will be telling Bucky you said that. Yes, I am not naked and neither is Bucky, however, last night we were._

**Sam Wilson:** _Ever heard of too much information, Rogers? I’m on my way._

**Steve Rogers:** _;)_

As he started to get ready, Steve texted Bucky.

**Steve Rogers:** _Sam called you a hoe._

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _Good morning to you too, babe. Thanks, I hope you have a lovely day as well!_

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _Sam Wilson is a bitch and he knows it._

**Steve Rogers:** _I agree._

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _I knew I kept you around for a reason_

**Steve Rogers:** _I think it’s more because of my devilishly good looks and charm._

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _Sure. Keep telling yourself that pal._

**Steve Rogers:** _God, I miss you._

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _We literally had sex last night???_

**Steve Rogers:** _Believe me, I remember ;) I just wish I was with you on that stinky, overcrowded subway. Instead, I’m going for a run with Sam :(_

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _Ha, have fun. Tell that bitch he’s a bitch._

When Steve opened the door he said: “Bucky says you’re a bitch and I agree with him.”

Sam glared at him. “You’re a match made in heaven. Both assholes.”

“Thanks, Sam.” Steve grinned, closing the door behind him and jogging down the stairs. 

“Asshole!” Sam yelled, following after him. 

Sam eventually caught up to Steve out the front of the apartment building with a glare.

“Careful,” Steve booped Sam’s nose because he was in an annoyingly happy mood after texting Bucky. “Don’t want your face to be stuck that way when the wind changes.”

Sam rolled his eyes so hard Steve felt the need to call an emergency optometrist if that was even a thing. “What the hell is up with you, man? I haven’t seen you this happy since you started that Twitter fight with Donald Trump and most of that was righteous anger anyways.”

Steve shrugged, walking in the direction of the park they’d be running in with Sam falling into step beside him. “Probably Bucky.”

Sam huffed and shot Steve a look, but he was smiling. “All I’m going to hear from here on out is just Bucky, right?”

“Yep.”

“Great,” Sam rubbed his hands over his face. He nearly walked into someone but Steve quickly grabbed his shoulder and yanked him out of the way. Sam let his hands drop, his shoulders slumping. “Okay, go ahead. I’ve prepared myself.”

“ _Sam._ ”

“Steve.”

“ _Sam._ ”

“That’s my name, smartass. Tell me about Bucky.”

“He’s so amazing, Sam.” Steve blushed, feeling his insides liquefy at the mere thought of Bucky. They continued down the street block, staying close together so they didn’t lose each other. “He’s smart and kind and witty and calming and a total jerk. He’s such a good dad and brother and son, and he cares so much about his kids from school it just consumes him, you know? The other night we were in his bed and I was reading a book but he had fallen asleep before me and he woke up yelling about needing to check his emails. He just had this feeling that Sarah in his class had a question and had emailed him late at night and he _had_ to answer it. He was correct. She needed to know something about the Bay of Pigs.”

“Sweet guy.”

“The sweetest!” Steve gripped Sam’s shoulder and squeezed to convey just how sweet Bucky was. “And he’s adorable. Have you seen him sneeze?” Sam shook his head, his lips twitching. “Oh, I’ll have to video it for you. He’s literally the cutest when he sneezes. He’s cute in everything he does. At the zoo, he was more excited about the animals than Winnie and I felt dizzy the entire day because it was so cute.”

Steve hadn’t even noticed that they had entered the park and were lightly jogging on the track. He focused on his thoughts of Bucky and the need to express them because they were bursting from his chest, rather than the pounding of their feet on the ground and the morning sunlight filtering through the tree coverage above them.

“Also, as a scientist-”

“I’m not a scientist.”

“-can you tell me how it’s possible for a person to be both cute _and_ hot? It shouldn’t be possible but Bucky is both. He wore this shirt and leather jacket the other day that had me dropping to my knees-”

“Oh my god, Steve!”

“-and the sex, Sam. Literally, mind-blowing. I have never felt so alive as I do with Bucky. He does this thing with his tongue-”

“Stop!” Sam huffed, coming to a stop and slapping his hand over Steve’s mouth. Steve was grinning hard before he licked Sam’s hand, who took a few shocked steps back as his face morphed into absolute disgust. He spluttered before crossing his arms over his chest, his lips twitching into a smile. Steve felt like he was floating. “So, he makes you happy?”

Steve melted. He watched as Sam’s face showed happiness as he watched Steve’s entire posture change. “He makes me so happy, Sam. I feel alive when I’m with him. I have the best time on our dates. He doesn’t judge me when I don’t understand something and he’s empathetic about the whole being born in 1918 and all my war buddies are dead thing.”

“I’m really happy for you, Steve,” Sam said, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around Steve in a hug.

“Thank you, Sam,” Steve whispered, tightening his grip on Sam before pulling off. 

They started their light jog again. Steve didn’t feel like pushing himself today and lapping Sam. He was happy to take his time and talk to his best friend about his boyfriend. 

“What’s the plan for the rest of the week then?”

Steve somehow brightened even further. “Well, Bucky actually doesn’t have any classes this week because it’s Spring Break. He had to go in for some meetings today but I have some ideas of stuff we can do during the day when Winnie is at school.”

Sam’s steps faltered for a split second before returning to normal. His eyes flickered to Steve before settling ahead of them again. “Is that all?”

Steve shrugged. “What else am I meant to do except spend time with Winnie and Bucky? Save the world?”

“I don’t know.” Sam huffed. “How much time do you spend at the Barnes apartment?”

Steve thought about it and blushed. “I’m there every night for dinner except Wednesday date nights and I’ve spent the night there a few times in the past week.”

“What do you do during the day when Bucky and Winnie are at school?” Sam’s voice had a strain to it that Steve didn’t like, so he tried to joke it away.

“Wait for them to get back from school.” Steve laughed but quietened down when Sam stopped jogging, looking at Steve with his eyebrows furrowed together.

“Seriously?” Sam asked, crossing his arms and looking at Steve concerned.

Steve didn’t like that. “I mean, I draw sometimes. Go for runs. Netflix.”

Sam scratched his beard. “Have you done anything else productive? Unpacked more?”

“Well, no-”

“Steve,” Sam sighed. He looked around for a second before he spotted a bench a few meters from them. He walked over and sat down, waiting for Steve to follow before turning to him and starting again. “Do you remember that conversation we had together before you moved out of the Compound? About all the new things you could do once retired?”

Steve remembered a lot of conversations he and Sam had had before he moved out, most involving hugging and crying. But he remembered the one Sam was talking about. A few days before he moved out, up on the roof of the Compound. 

“Yeah.” Steve nodded.

“Remember the brainstorm of all the things you said you wanted to try your hand at?” Sam bumped his shoulder with Steve’s. “I remember that you wanted to get better at cooking, check out all the coffee shops in Brooklyn, see some shows on Broadway. You also said you wanted to plan a trip to the Grand Canyon, yeah?”

Steve huffed. “Yeah. I wanted to get back into knitting maybe, sign up for some art classes if I was brave enough, go hiking.”

Sam hummed in agreement. “I’m probably about to hurt your feelings-” Steve stiffened. “-but I want you to listen before you start protesting. First, I want to emphasis that I am so fucking proud of you, Steve. For everything you’ve done since I’ve met you. You’re a hell of a man. And I was super excited to see you discover more of yourself after retiring. To discover new hobbies and skills, and definitely new people. Get back into things from your childhood, like your art. 

And it’s been, what? Three months or so since you’ve moved out? It’s one hundred per cent okay that you haven’t gotten to anything on that list we made. That’s okay. You’ve been through a lot and the healing process takes time. We didn’t expect you to have your life sorted out within the first few months.”

“But?”

“I’m happy for you, man. I really am.” Sam held Steve’s shoulder and squeezed, which did nothing to stop the nerves and dread in Steve’s stomach. “But the whole point of this was for you to find _yourself_. You’re currently finding out that part of yourself lies with being in a relationship with Bucky, but that’s only a part. Your life can’t revolve around Bucky. That wasn’t the point of this, Steve. You still need to find yourself. It’s not fair to you, or Bucky, or Winnie, if you rely on them so much.”

Steve’s stomach twisted, his body going numb at Sam’s words. Was he right? Was he relying on Bucky too much? Was he losing himself before he had really found himself?

“My world doesn’t revolve around Bucky.” Steve wanted his voice to come out more confident, but it came out smaller than he intended.

“And maybe it doesn’t,” Sam shrugged. “Maybe I’m just a worried mother hen and am taking things out of proportion, but from the things you’ve told me, it seems you aren’t doing much for yourself. You’re just waiting for Bucky and Winnie.”

“But I’m happy.”

Sam slipped an arm around Steve’s shoulders and brought him closer, Steve’s eyes caught on a rock at their feet. “I’m one hundred per cent sure you are. You _are_ happy, Steve. It makes me a little nauseous. There’s nothing wrong with being happy, we just need to make sure you’re happy with your own life and self before falling head over heels for these two.”

Steve huffed and Sam laughed, knowing full well that Steve was already on the way there.

“What do I do then?” Steve asked, pulling away from Sam’s side. “Get a job at McDonald’s?”

Sam smiled. “If you want. Maybe unpack more, try a new skill.”

“I have been cooking for Bucky and Winnie,” Steve grumbled.

“But that was a necessity. Have you done any of that fancy baking shit that Pepper, Thor and Bruce are so into? Attempted those complicated Russian dishes that Nat loves? Improved your skills and knowledge?”

Steve frowned. “No.”

Sam patted him on the shoulder before standing and stretching his arms over his head. “I’m not saying you need to suddenly have a bachelor’s degree in business and be running a Fortune 500 company. I’m just saying you need to fill your day until Bucky and Winnie get home with something productive. It doesn’t need to be life-changing or anything, something small that gives you a little more purpose than waiting for your boyfriend and kid to get home.”

“Thanks, Sam.”

“I don’t mean to offend or hurt you, Steve. That’s just my observation. You can take it or leave it. I care about you.”

Steve saw the opportunity and took it. He shot up, shoved Sam in the shoulder, sending him back a few steps in shock and took off in a sprint down the path. He grinned, hearing Sam yell profanities at his back as he tried to catch up.

Steve wasn’t running to beat Sam, or to keep their game of ‘on your left!’ up. He was running from the cloud of dread and doubt his best friend's words had created.

Steve was unsuccessful. It followed him all day.

He finished his run with Sam and not wanting to return to his apartment where he was sure his thoughts would consume him, Steve found a cafe and ducked in there for lunch. He occupied himself with his food and the people around him, making up wild stories about them being star-crossed lovers, international spies, and time travellers. Anything to keep his mind from going over Sam’s words.

He even initiated a conversation on the Avengers group chat and accepted a call from Tony, who he spoke to as he took the very, very, very long route back to his apartment. Even as Tony spoke about the latest doctor’s appointment he and Pepper had gone too, the latest story about Peter and his idiocy, Steve couldn’t help the stone of dread in his stomach.

It weighed him down on the walk up the stairs to his apartment, turning his stomach and making him feel a little queasy. He had started the day so well, and now he was closing the door behind him and sinking to the floor, knees bent, arms cradling his head.

Was Sam right? Was Steve waiting around for Bucky and Winnie all day? Had he really not gotten to do anything for himself?

Steve shook his head at that. He’d unpacked some boxes. Been going for runs every morning. Caught up on some pop culture. Read some books. He was drawing again. Creating art, which was his passion.

Was it enough though?

Sam had wormed his way into Steve’s brain like an insistent mosquito, buzzing around and creating a lot of noise and doubt. He guessed that Sam was kind of correct in some ways. He was kind of floating around during the day, with no real purpose or goal except to make it to pick up and spend the night with Bucky.

But he was happy, wasn’t he? He enjoyed floating and waiting for Bucky. He enjoyed spending his afternoons with Winnie and spending his nights with Bucky. He had a boyfriend, which is one more than he had this time last year. He’s made progress and he’s happier than he’s been in a while.

_But wouldn’t you be even happier with something else?_

When Steve had started to pack up his things in the Compound, Tony had said some sarcastic remark to someone about Steve “reaching his fullest potential” or something. Was Steve reaching his fullest potential?

He argued with himself that there was nothing wrong with floating, nothing wrong with not knowing what he was going to do next and go with the flow. And there wasn’t. Not at all. That’s how some people lived, and sometimes everyone needed a moment to themselves to float.

But that wasn't really the definition of Steve Rogers, was it?

The kid that has spent his entire childhood sick and wanting to be outside, to be helping the neighbours, spending time with an elderly couple down the street. To be drawing and reading and learning, to be spending time with his mother and at the local bookstore. And then the kid turned adult aching to be fighting tooth and nail for his country and the world he believed in. There wasn’t a moment where Steve Rogers was thinking about anything but doing his part for his country.

And then he got there without a mission or an objective but was forced to be dancing like a monkey and not fighting as he should be. He remembered the absolute hatred that thrummed through his veins, the feeling of desperation that he wasn’t _doing_. He wanted to be there, so he took his chance on saving the 107th and that led him to command the most successful combat unit in all of history.

Steve had a mission, an objective, a goal, a plan, an idea, a purpose, right up until he crashed the Valkyrie. And the years since then with the Avengers.

He didn’t have that now.

Did he want that now? Did he need that?

Steve left the thought scratch at his skin on his way to pick up Winnie. Even though they had said last week would be the last time they stopped for secret ice cream, he felt himself leading them there.

Winnie looked at him curiously with her big innocent eyes over her cone of White Widow Chocolate. “What's wrong, Steve?”

“Nothing, sunshine,” he said with a smile, sneaking his spoon to take a piece of her ice cream, which she shrieked and giggled at.

They got back to the Barnes apartment. Steve helped Winnie with her spelling and math homework on the kitchen bench as he put the dishes away. They decided to get a jump start on the reading she needed to complete for her Spring Recess which started next Friday. As Winnie pushed aside the coffee table in favour to create more room for some dancing, Steve prepared dinner.

He was just taking the garlic bread out of the oven when Bucky opened the door. Winnie paid no mind but continued to dance her extremely elaborate routine she had just come up with as Steve turned around to see Bucky smiling as he bent down to pick up his suitcase, kicking the door closed before walking over to Steve.

“Hiya, Stevie.”

Steve’s heart clenched uncomfortably at the sight of the smile wrinkles around Bucky’s eyes. “Hi, Buck.”

Bucky placed the suitcase on the kitchen bench, using his now free hand to cup Steve’s jaw and pull him down for a quick, deep kiss. Winnie was preoccupied with her dance and in the last two days, Bucky had become a little more daring in their public displays of affection. Steve couldn’t blame him. Whenever he looked at Bucky, his heart started beating wildly in his chest, desire thrumming just under the surface of his skin.

He also couldn’t blame Sam for the thoughts he had proposed today. The way that the world brightened when Bucky stepped through the door as if he had lifted some heaviness off of Steve’s shoulders from just existing, only proved that Steve _was_ just sitting around all day for Bucky.

He wouldn’t begrudge other people of that lifestyle, but he was now starting to agree with Sam that it maybe wasn’t for him. 

Unfortunately, Bucky pulled back and gave Steve’s red face a wink, before going over to his daughter. Winnie followed him into his bedroom as he changed out of his suit into more comfortable clothes, Steve hearing her babble the same stories she had already told him.

When Bucky came back out, he and Winnie set up the table and got drinks ready as Steve turned off the stove and poured the soup into each of their bowls. They all sat down with their dinner and dug in. 

Steve let Bucky maintain the conversation, let him direct it with questions and jokes. He didn’t feel much like inputting, not until he sorted out the tangle of thoughts inside his head. Bucky seemed to notice his quietness and only rested his foot on top of Steve’s.

After dinner had been finished, Bucky cut up some fruit salad for a dessert. Winnie quickly ate her food before forcing the two men to sit on the couch and watch her dance. It was horrendous, out of beat and lacked any real story behind it. It reminded Steve of Gina’s farewell dance from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, but that wasn’t the only reason he was smiling.

Winnie was smiling too, concentrating but enjoying herself as she jumped and swung her arms around. And Bucky was leaning into his side, smiling brightly as he watched his daughter with wide, loving, curious eyes. 

Steve swallowed and clapped loudly with Bucky once Winnie was done. As Bucky helped her get a glass of water, Steve felt something settle in him.

Sam was right. He did need to be doing something for himself. Something productive that stimulated his mind and kept him moving forward to a brighter future. But he also loved his time with Bucky and Winnie, and he wasn’t going to give that up. He needed that as much as he needed this other thing.

This other thing that he had no idea what it was.

Winnie got changed into her pyjamas and sat in the middle of the two men on her little bed, each of them taking turns in reading her a page of her book. As she settled into bed, Steve congratulated her on her dance.

“You’ve got talent, Winnie.” And maybe Steve was lying a little bit. She didn’t have any technique, but from the way she had moved, he could see the passion and fun in her movements. 

“Thanks, Steve.” She closed her eyes as he gave her their ritual goodnight kisses. “Breanna’s a girl in my class and she goes to ballet after school.”

“Oh?” Bucky said, taking Steve’s place on Winnie’s bed to kiss her goodnight too. “Is that something you’d like to do? Join Breanna at ballet?”

Winnie shrugged.

Steve bit his lip. “Natasha loves to dance,” Winnie shot up in bed, eyes wide at Steve as Bucky recovered from his shock and the bump to his head from Winnie’s startled movement.

“What?”

“Natasha loves to dance. She does ballet. Maybe, if Dad thinks it okay, I can set up some times for you to see her in your Spring holidays and she can teach you some ballet.”

Steve had no idea if Natasha would be up to teaching a child ballet, a form of movement she had been taught from a young age that helped her kill. But she’d at least be up for the challenge and no one could say no to Winnie’s adorable face.

Bucky sighed, subjected to Winnie’s adorable face. “Fine,” he shot Steve a look from the bed, pulling the covers over Winnie again. “Steve will ask Natasha about it, okay? Only if you are good for the last two weeks of school, though, yeah?”

Winnie nodded furiously. “I’ll be good. And I’ll become the best ballet dancer in the whole wide universe, Daddy.”

Bucky smiled softly at her. “Of course you will, babe.”

“Night, sunshine.”

“Good night!”

They quietly tiptoed out of her room, Bucky closing the door behind them before they headed out to the kitchen. Steve busied himself loading the dishwasher and sighed when he felt Bucky pressed up behind him, his hand sneaking around to rest on Steve's stomach.

“What?” Bucky whispered, noting Steve’s sigh and resting the side of his face on Steve’s shoulder. “Don’t you want to have sex with me?”

Steve blushed but didn’t take the bait and continued with the dishes. “Of course I want to have sex with you-” he felt Bucky’s smile against his shirt that turned into a frown as Steve continued talking. “-but I can’t stay tonight.”

Bucky made a small noise in the back of his throat, slowly pulling himself away from Steve who continued with the last of the dishes. “Why?”

Steve placed the last bowl in before closing the door and pressing the start button. He turned around to see that Bucky had jumped up onto the kitchen island, his bare feet swinging and a ridiculous pout on his face. Steve stepped in between his legs, placing his hands on Bucky’s thighs, rubbing his thumbs in circles. Bucky watched him critically.

Steve didn’t want to lie, but he also needed some time to himself for a little bit to sort through his thoughts. Bucky wouldn’t judge him if he told the truth, would help him, even, to seek what Steve was looking for. Steve appreciated that and adored him for it, but Steve just needed a moment to breathe and process this new revelation that he needed to be doing _something else._

“Sam gave me some stuff he wants me to read over.”

Bucky titled his head to the side. “What kind of stuff?”

“Way above your clearance level, Sergeant.” Steve joked, and his smile grew at Bucky as he raised his eyebrows, fishing for more. “Apparently they’re stumped on a lead and they need some fresh eyes on it. Bunch of boring data but it could lead to some big people.”

Bucky nodded, taking the lie, and rested his forehead on Steve’s chest. Steve prayed that Bucky couldn’t hear his heartbeat but if he could, then he would take it as Steve being excited at their close proximity, not at the fact that Steve had just lied to his boyfriend and possible love of his life. 

Steve kissed the top of Bucky’s head as a pathetic excuse of an apology. Bucky smiled against his shirt and gave him a kiss on his chest. He pulled back with a small smirk. “Well, when you’re done and if you still wanna come over, just use your key and get into bed with me. I’m also one hundred per cent okay with being woken up for some late night sex or even morning sex if it’s good.”

Steve laughed, his face flushing. “Sure thing, Buck.”

Bucky’s smirk melted into a soft smile. “Don’t stay up too late, okay?”

“I won’t.” Steve lied.

“Good,” Bucky leant forward and pressed a soft kiss on Steve’s lips. Steve guessed the aim of this kiss was to try and entice him to wake Bucky up later for some sex, and it was one hundred per cent tempting but Steve didn’t feel like it tonight. Especially after he had just lied to Bucky’s face. “Come round for breakfast tomorrow, maybe? We can take Winnie to school together and _then_ we can have sex. Or maybe go on a date.”

Steve smiled tightly at Bucky and nodded. Bucky squinted but didn’t say anything and used Steve’s shoulders to help him down from the kitchen island. As he walked over to the couch, he slapped Steve on the ass. “Go have fun looking at data and saving the world, Stevie. I’m gonna watch a documentary about the systemic racism that's entrenched in the American police system.”

Steve smiled at the ground, grabbed his things and kissed Bucky on the forehead as he headed out. 

Steve stayed up until the early hours of the morning, thinking and pacing and thinking. He did go next door for breakfast, and they did take Winnie to school together. He lied, however, and said they couldn’t go out for the rest of the day because Sam needed him at the Compound to go over that data. 

Instead, Steve drove halfway to the Compound and stopped at a dingy diner, and spent the rest of the day thinking, drawing and eating his weight in fries. Bucky had said that he could pick Winnie up from school because he was now on his Spring Break, so Steve only made it back in time for dinner. He forced himself to stay for a few episodes of Netflix with Bucky after Winnie went to bed, but came up with another pathetic excuse for why he couldn’t stay the night.

Steve went without breakfast and lunch with Bucky the next day but forced himself to go to date night when Becca turned up for Winnie. They went to a movie and then dinner, which Steve was thankful for. A movie meant less talking and less lying to Bucky about how he couldn’t spend all day with him tomorrow. 

Steve avoided Bucky for the whole week and by the time Bucky confronted him about it on Saturday, Steve had cancelled on Bucky at least four times. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry :))
> 
> THANKS FOR BEING THE BEST READERS A GIRL COULD EVER ASK FOR <3
> 
> (i really enjoyed writing the first part of this chapter. steve's happiness is so infectious!)


	9. You make me happy when skies are grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What did that pie ever do to you?” She asked after he had stabbed it again aggressively.
> 
> “It’s American,” Bucky said, around a mouthful of sweet goodness. “It’s an icon and symbol of our country and it makes me happy and I’ve had so many good times with it but it keeps ignoring me on my Spring Break and-”
> 
> Becca gently placed her hand on Bucky’s and removed the fork from his grip. He looked sadly at the mash of apple and pastry left.
> 
> “Now,” Becca said, her lips twitching. “I may not be a detective but, hear me out on this. The apple pie is Steve, and Steve is the apple pie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (SPOILER) TW: nightmare/PTSD, building fire (everyone is safe and okay)
> 
> you were all asking me wwhhhyy?!?! after the last chapter. cause of the drama!!! and steve's dumb so yeah. let's see if these boys can have some healthy communication :))

Bucky didn’t quite understand what was going on.

Things with Steve were going well, _really well,_ but in the past week, Steve was lying and avoiding him. Bucky had pride that he could read his boyfriend so well, but it had its downfalls when realising that said boyfriend had been lying to his face.

Bucky was excited about his Spring Break. Minimal work had to be done, Winnie was still at school and Steve was free, meaning he could spend all day and all night with his deliciously hot and sweet boyfriend. Bucky had been looking forward to the sex, of course, with no worries about waking a small child up, but he was anticipating the lazy and domestic days he would have with Steve.

Waking up together and getting Winnie ready for school, before doing some shopping or exercise, cleaning the apartment and watching Netflix together, going for walks and out for coffee, cooking and laughing together.

Every moment Bucky spent with Steve filled the air with honey and fairy floss and sparkles and love and Bucky tried to absorb as much as possible into his skin and bones to make it last forever.

And jeez, the way Steve was with Winnie had Bucky feeling like his legs were jelly and his heart running a marathon. It made him weak to the knees every time Winnie and Steve smiled and laughed, whenever Steve would do something sweet and loving for Winnie.

Bucky, guiltily, found himself looking forward to opening his apartment door nearly every evening more than he was looking forward to his actual classes. He loved his work, it was one of the greatest passions in his life, but God. Seeing Steve painting with Winnie, or cooking whilst Winnie played, or them reading together at the kitchen island? _That_ was quickly becoming Bucky’s favourite part of the day.

His heart swelled to three times its normal size whenever Steve wasn’t with them and Winnie would gush and gush about him. He was so glad that Winnie had another amazing person to look up to in her life.

Bucky had always, always, felt guilty that the only people he could provide for Winnie was her relatives. He didn’t have anyone else for her to connect and grow with apart from Becca and his parents who lived in another state. 

He worried that Winnie didn’t have a good enough support system to get her through life. He knew, one hundred per cent, that the support system in which she did have made up for the fact of how little people were in it. Becca and his parents would drop everything on short notice to be there for Winnie, and him, if need be. He knew that he was blessed with a family that didn’t abandon him after he came home with one less arm.

But, seeing Winnie connect with Steve was something else. A light exploded within both of them when they were around each other. Bucky hadn't known Steve very long, didn’t know him without Winnie, but he could guess the man had been lacking a little in life. Heck, Steve had told him he had been lacking in life for a while. Family could only do so much before you needed something more and it seemed that Winnie, and Bucky somehow, was that something more for Steve.

In an alternate life, Bucky could picture himself meeting Steve when Connie was pregnant, and coming home to Steve every day as Winnie grew up. He loved the idea of coming home to his two favourite people every day. 

Bucky Barnes was surely falling in love with Steve Rogers, but Steve Rogers had been avoiding Bucky for nearly his entire Spring Break.

It started on Monday and now it was Saturday and Bucky had spent very little time with his boyfriend and possible love of his life during his Spring Break. And he was sad about it. And a little angry.

At least with all the cancelling on Steve’s part, he hadn’t cancelled on Winnie yet. Despite the stone in his gut, Bucky’s heart hadn’t been displaced with Steve. He was looking out for Winnie and keeping his promise to Bucky to not abandon Winnie. 

That’s why Bucky had the majority of Saturday to himself. Earlier in the week, Steve had proposed dance lessons for Winnie with Nat, so today Steve had driven Winnie up to the Compound.

No matter what state Steve and Bucky’s relationship was in, Bucky knew he could trust Steve with Winnie. He felt weird without either one of them around, but he was glad they were still strong.

Bucky called Becca around one hour after being alone and organised to have lunch at a cafe. 

She was sitting at a table outside when he walked over and he dropped his things at the table before heading inside. He ordered himself a coffee and a slice of apple pie, before sitting down at the table.

“How’s work?” Bucky asked, taking a sip of his coffee and thanking his past self for bringing his sunglasses.

“Oh, fine,” Becca said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s work, I wish I was in Barcelona, nothing new, but we aren’t here to talk about me, are we?”

Bucky squinted at her but didn’t say anything, taking a sip of his coffee instead.

“Hey,” Becca kicked his shin under the table making him jump. “Answer me, you idiot.”

Bucky glared at her and went to open his mouth, but the barista interrupted them and placed his now warmed up apple pie down in front of him. Bucky thanked her sweetly before taking his fork and stabbing the pie, shoving a piece into his mouth. Becca watched, frowning.

“What did that pie ever do to you?” She asked after he had stabbed it again aggressively.

“It’s American,” Bucky said, around a mouthful of sweet goodness as he continued his stabbing. “It’s an icon and symbol of our country and it makes me happy and I’ve had so many good times with it but it keeps ignoring me on my Spring Break and-”

Becca gently placed her hand on Bucky’s and removed the fork from his grip. He looked sadly at the mash of apple and pastry left.

“Now,” Becca said, her lips twitching. “I may not be a detective but, hear me out on this. The apple pie is Steve, and Steve is the apple pie.”

Bucky slumped back in his chair, his hand coming up to rub at his forehead. “That obvious?”

“Yes, Bucky,” Becca smirked, but her lips flattened into a serious line. “Steve’s been ignoring you?”

“Yes,” Bucky pouted. “For my entire Spring Break. I thought we’d be seeing each other every day all day but we’re only eating with each other once a day, and it’s usually dinner because he doesn’t want to bail on Winnie.”

“Has he bailed on Winnie?”

“No, not once. He’s too good of a guy not to bail on her but his boyfriend, whom he seemed very happy with recently.”

“Weird.”

“Yeah, weird.”

Becca scooped a small heap of apple pie on the fork and ate it, staring off into the busy New York street.

“That’s it?” Bucky asked, incredulous. “I tell you my boyfriend has been avoiding me and all you do is eat my apple pie and stare off into nowhere?”

“I’m trying to think of why he’s doing it.” Becca scowled. “Is the sex bad or something?”

Bucky didn’t dignify that with a response because it was a ludicrous question. Instead, he snatched the fork back and heaped some apple pie into his mouth.

“Is there anything he could be doing? Working or going out with friends?”

Bucky shrugged. “I mean, he says he’s helping the Avengers out with some stuff but I know he’s lying. And pretty much all of them said to me that they want to give him space from that work for a while.”

“Nothing else?” Becca checked. They had begun to share the fork nicely, taking bites of the mash of pie before handing it over to the other.

“He doesn’t do much apart from draw, go for runs, watch Netflix and hang out with Wins and I.”

Becca cocked her head to the side, thinking. Bucky had another forkful of apple pie. 

“This could be a long stretch,” Becca started, rolling her shoulders. The sun shining down on her created a warm glow to her skin, the tan from her months in Europe slowly fading. “But it seems the guy doesn’t have much going for him apart from you, Winnie and his friends. I mean, he doesn’t have a job, he doesn’t have a sports team or social clubs. Does he have any hobbies that take him outside of the house, apart from his running?”

“No.”

“Maybe he’s looking for something more?” Becca shrugged. “And I’m not saying that you and Winnie aren’t enough to make him happy. God knows that idiot is happy with you two, but what does he do during the day? He waits for you two to get home.”

Bucky traded off the fork to Becca and pondered the topic his sister had brought up. He supposed it was true. Steve didn’t go to school or have a job. He wasn’t a part of any sporting or book clubs. Yes, he had friends and family, but other than that? He had Winnie and Bucky. Co-dependency isn’t healthy.

“But why would he avoid me if he’s looking for a purpose?” Bucky asked, feeling the sting of hurt like a papercut on his heart. “I’d help him, not hurt him.”

“Boys are dumb,” Becca said. “And especially that one. He probably thought he needed space to grow but if you’ve got the right person, growing _with_ them isn’t so bad.”

Bucky squinted at her “Did you drink some wisdom water from an old fountain in Scotland or something while you were over there? This cannot be the same girl that put chewing gum in Grant Ward’s hair after he dumped her to go with Daisy Johnson to Prom.”

Becca smirked and shrugged. “Grant deserved it.”

Bucky laughed and took the fork back.

He stayed with Becca for another hour before she had to go and run some errands. They left with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, Bucky going back to his apartment to collect his thoughts on the Steve situation before said situation came home.

Winnie threw open the door a few hours later, giggling, before running over to Bucky who was on the couch and flopping over him.

“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” She squealed.

Bucky laughed and grabbed her sides, moving her until she was sitting in his lap facing her. He turned his head quickly to see Steve closing the door before unpacking the bag they had taken to the Compound.

“How was it, baby?”

“The best!” Winnie gushed. “Tasha’s the best person in the whole wide world and she taught me so many things and she thinks I could be really good if I worked hard!”

Bucky tried not to take the fact that Natasha was the best person in the world to heart and smiled along with his daughter. “Yeah? Did she say you guys could keep having lessons with her?”

“Yep,” Steve said from the kitchen. “Every Saturday, baring missions, work for her if it does for you. I gave her your phone number so she can get into contact with you.”

“I’m surprised that she didn’t have it already, what with being a spy and all.”

Steve barked a laugh. Winnie tugged on Bucky’s hair to get his attention back. “I’ll show you all my new dance moves tonight, okay? But I gotta paint something nice for Tasha right now.”

Bucky laughed. “Okay, honey. Just get changed into some more dirty clothes and don’t forget your smock. You know the rules.”

Winnie grinned and kissed Bucky on the lips before racing off to her room. Bucky let silence fill the room for a second as he collected his final thoughts and took a few deep breaths before getting up from the couch and walking over to Steve.

Steve was just closing the fridge and when he spun around to find Bucky standing there, he smiled tightly at him. Bucky’s heart clenched. Steve opened his mouth, no doubt about to lie about some bullshit that Nat had given him something to look over, but Bucky interrupted him.

“Could we talk?” Bucky said.

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Now?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said, freezing slightly as Winnie came sprinting out of her room and past them towards the balcony. “Maybe out in the hallway.”

“Okay.”

“We’ll be out in the hallway, babe!” Bucky called out to Winnie who didn’t acknowledge them.

Steve followed Bucky out into their shared hallway quietly, closing the door to the apartment partially for some privacy between them and Winnie, but with a gap, so they could hear if something happened.

Steve stuffed his hands into his pockets immediately, looking just past Bucky’s head. Bucky bit his lip before deciding to bite the bullet.

“Where have you been the past week? You’re avoiding me.”

Steve swallowed. “I told you, I’ve been helping out the team-”

“Bullshit, Rogers.” Bucky hissed, fed up with the lies. “You don’t think I know when you’re lying to my face?”

“Buck-”

“It hurts, Steve,” Bucky said, a little louder. “I was looking forward to spending my Spring Break together with some kid-free time where we could do whatever we wanted, but I feel like I’ve barely seen you all week and now I start work on Monday again.”

Whatever wall Steve had attempted to put up crumbled visibly over his face at Bucky’s words. He reached out, devastated. “Bucky, please, I-”

“What?” Bucky asked. “Tell me the truth.”

Steve hesitated for a moment before looking down at his feet. “I went for a run with Sam on Monday and we talked about some things. He said something to me that’s been making me think a lot, and I guess I just needed some space to process.”

Bucky ignored the little voice in his head saying that Steve was about to break up with him and stepped closer to Steve, resting his hand on Steve’s elbow. “What did he say?”

“He’s worried that I’m relying on you and Winnie too much to make me happy,” Steve said quietly, still looking down at the floor. “He thinks that I need more out of life than waiting for you two to get home and I think he’s right. I’m becoming co-dependent and I need-”

“A purpose,” Bucky said, quietly.

Steve looked up, surprised. “Yeah, kinda.”

“Becca said something along those lines today,” Bucky smiled softly, mentally high fiving his sister for her accurate guess. “I’d never really thought about it much beforehand.”

“Neither,” Steve admitted. “And please don’t get me wrong, you and Winnie make me so happy. I cherished every second I spend with you both-”

“But you need something more,” Bucky said and Steve nodded. “Steve, that’s okay, you know?” Bucky squeezed Steve’s shoulder. “I have my family, I have Winnie, I have you, and I have my job. While it’s not such a wide range as other people, it’s more than you. You’re allowed to have something other than us.”

“I know,” Steve closed his eyes for a moment. “Deep down I know that. It’s just, what’s this other thing I’m missing? What could make me as happy as you do?”

Bucky’s heart was melting. Steve was so earnest, Bucky could feel his adoration for his boyfriend filling up the room, a tangible force that would knock over everything that came in its way as it continued to grow.

But he was still hurt.

“Why didn’t you say anything, Steve?” He took Steve’s hand with his own. “We’re meant to be in this together. If you’re struggling you’re meant to come to me. That’s why I’m here. Why didn’t you?”

“I know, Buck, I know,” Steve cupped Bucky’s cheek with his other hand, sadness filling his beautiful blue eyes that Bucky wished he could look into forever. “I’m not very good with emotions. I either punch my way through things or retreat into my head. I couldn’t punch my way out of this one so I retreated. I’m not good at asking for help. I’m better now, but I’m not good.”

Bucky squeezed Steve’s hand, wishing he could wrap this poor boy up in bubble wrap for the rest of his life. Steve deserved everything good in the world, he just didn’t know how to get it himself.

“And I was worried that coming to you would just make me more dependent on you. We haven’t been together that long and the fact that my feelings for you are so strong, I was just scared.”

Bucky’s heart managed to both ache and flutter. He placed a soft kiss on Steve’s lips. “I’ll help you find something if that’s okay with you? I understand that you might need some space sometimes, we all do, but I’d appreciate it more if you told me why before giving me space. You’re allowed to depend on me to be a shoulder you can lean on, just not you’re only happiness in life, okay?”

“Okay, thank you,” Steve rested his forehead on Bucky’s. “I really am sorry.”

“I know, sweetheart. I forgive you,” Bucky kissed him again, peace settling in his heart, before taking Steve’s hand and pulling him back into the apartment. “Come on, we can brainstorm some ideas if you want.”

Just before Bucky was about to kick open the door, Steve tugged on his hand and spun him around until his back was pressed against the wall in between their two doors. Bucky raised his eyebrows, grinning, as Steve took a step closer, crowding him. 

“How’d I get so lucky?” Steve murmured, kissing Bucky’s jaw. “To get a guy like you, huh?”

“If I remember correctly,” Bucky’s breath hitched as Steve’s lips pressed harder against his skin. “You begged me for days until I finally took pity on you.”

Steve growled and nipped at Bucky’s neck, who yelped before laughing and pushing Steve off of him. “Come on, old man. Let’s go inside.”

“Hey!” Steve said, closing the door behind him as Bucky went over to sit on the couch. He checked on Winnie and was not surprised to find her engrossed in a painting, yellow paint all over her fingers. “I’m not that old.”

Bucky rolled his eyes but decided not to comment even further as Steve plopped back down on the couch, immediately wrapping an arm around Bucky’s waist and snuggling into his side. He rested his head against Bucky’s chest, who raised his hand to card his fingers through Steve’s blonde hair.

“So, what have you brainstormed so far?”

Steve hummed but didn’t say anything.

Bucky tapped him on the forehead. “You have been brainstorming this past week you’ve been avoiding me, haven’t you?”

Steve pouted and snuggled closer to Bucky. “No, I’ve been procrastinating.”

“Oh my god.”

“What do people my age even do?” Steve said, turning around so his face was in Bucky’s lap. His eyes were wide as he looked up at Bucky.

“Play bingo?” Bucky smirked, continuing to brush his hands through Steve’s hair.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Wow. You’re hilarious. I haven’t heard that one before.”

“I am pretty funny,” Bucky grinned. “I’m serious. Why not join an oldies club and play bingo once a week? You can meet some people who you can rant about inflation and shit with.”

Steve frowned.

“I’m not joking,” Bucky said softly. “It might be good for you to have some friends with similar childhoods. And bingo is pretty lowkey, isn’t it? There’s definitely no people shooting at you or anything.”

“Bingo?” Steve asked, hesitant.

“Just a thought.”

Steve scrunched his face up adorably, in thought.

“What about a running club?”

“Nah,” Steve shook his head. “I run too fast.”

Bucky laughed. “Cocky punk.”

Steve poked Bucky’s cheek. “Jerk.”

Winnie giggled then, taking Bucky’s attention from his boyfriend to his daughter who was smiling at her painting on the balcony. “What about art classes?” 

“Art classes?”

“Yeah,” Bucky turned back to his boyfriend. “Surely you’ve thought about it before. You had to drop out of art school before the war, right?”

“Yeah, we couldn’t afford it anymore.” Steve got lost in thought for a second before his focus came back to Bucky. “You’re right. I have thought about it before, a lot, actually.”

“You could just have a basic art class or you could go to college and get a degree.”

Steve hummed. “I guess art classes could be fun.”

“See?” Bucky said, patting Steve’s forehead. “You could do so many things with all your free time now. Winnie and I will still be here for you.”

“Thanks, Bucky,” Steve said softly, his face smoothing out into a look that made Bucky weak at the knees. “You really are an amazing boyfriend.”

Bucky leant down and kissed Steve on the forehead.

“Daddy! Stevie! Can you cook dinner? I’m hungry.”

Both men laughed. “Sure thing, sunshine.”

***

For Bucky’s last day of Spring Break, the three of them went to see a movie before having a picnic in the park.

It was peaceful and domestic and exactly what Bucky wanted in life. His boyfriend had stopped avoiding him, his daughter was laughing and Bucky was happy.

When Steve and Winnie played on the playground, Bucky filming from the sidelines, he felt a heavy blanket of rightness settle over him. Everything was right as it should be.

Bucky went back to work on Monday and Steve went off on a hunt for his purpose. When Bucky got the chance to check his phone during the workday, he’d see messages from his boyfriend.

**Steve Rogers <3: ** _What about tap dance lessons?_

**Steve Rogers <3: ** _There’s a hacky sack group that meets every Sunday morning in Prospect Park. Do you think I’d be able to rock a tie-dye t-shirt, dreadlocks and a beanie or would that be a turn off for you??_

**Steve Rogers <3: ** _Tony sent me a link to this driving instructor that Peter has. He thinks I should get my license._

**Bucky Barnes:** _YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR LICENSE?!_

**Steve Rogers <3: ** _Well they weren’t giving them out in Nazi Germany were they, Professor Barnes?_

When Steve spent time at Bucky’s apartment, he shared it between hanging out with him and Winnie, sneaking kisses with Bucky or researching on his laptop. On Wednesday before date night, he showed Bucky a website with the title _Brooklyn’s Brilliant Brunch for Seniors._

It was a poorly constructed website to Bucky’s millennial eye but Steve showed him what the club was about. Anyone over the age of seventy was welcome to have brunch every day of the week. Each day consisted of different activities, including bingo and salsa dancing lessons.

Steve navigated through the website with a smile and a twinkle in his eyes. Bucky kissed him on the cheek. “You should check it out.”

“Do you think I’d be allowed to join?” Steve asked, watching a video of a bunch of elderly people working on a garden in a small backyard. 

“You’re over seventy, aren’t you?”

Steve blushed. “Yeah, I guess.”

“That’s their only requirement,” Bucky said, pinching Steve’s cheeks like a grandmother. “And who could say no to these cheeks, uh, mister?”

Steve laughed.

***

Steve felt good.

Of course, he still felt guilty when he thought about avoiding Bucky for a week, but Bucky was so sweet and understanding when Steve told him what was really going on, and he encouraged every weird thing Steve told him about that he might have an interest in doing. Even the hacky sack group.

“If it makes you happy, Stevie.”

The Brooklyn’s Brilliant Brunch for Seniors club had really struck a chord within Steve. It seemed so dorky and unorganised, but fun and lively. His research told him that it was only a few blocks from their apartment building, and he didn’t have to attend every day to be considered a member of the club. 

He was really considering going but for now, he just signed up for an amateur drawing class. The course outline said it was pretty basic stuff but Steve was happy enough to go back to the basics he had learnt before the war. Sam was right, he didn’t need to have everything sorted out right now. Starting small with an amateur drawing class and building up felt good to Steve.

He’d get there eventually, and he’d still have Bucky and Winnie.

Winnie finished school for the term the second Thursday of April, a few days after Bucky went back to work. Steve picked her up from school as usual and they went to celebrate the end of the term at their usual ice cream place. He even let her get some sprinkles on top of her White Widow Chocolate.

The following night, the three of them watched a movie, snuggled under some blankets and passed popcorn between them. After Winnie had gone to bed, Bucky managed to convince Steve to stay the night.

“We’ll just wake up before her,” Bucky said into the skin of Steve’s neck. “We’ve got to go to the Compound anyways right?”

“For ballet, yes.” Steve gasped as Bucky’s hand started to roam.

“So stay,” Bucky smirked.

“Yeah, okay.” Steve sighed.

They had a shower together and then fell into bed, hair a little wet but not caring because they were happy and satisfied. Bucky curled into a ball and Steve wrapped himself around his boyfriend. 

He fell asleep quickly, to the feel of Bucky’s skin on his and the sound of Bucky breathing.

***

He woke up disoriented. The room was dark and the sheet was kicked down to his feet. At first, he wasn’t sure what had woken him up but then Bucky whimpered and Steve quickly turned on the lamp, his heart in his throat.

Bucky was lying on his back, sweat glistening on his chest. His face was scrunched up in agony, his shoulders shaking as he made small noises of pain. His right arm was thrown across his chest, his hand gripping the area where his left arm would have been.

Steve made a small noise of hurt, hating to see Bucky like this and not know what to do. Bucky whimpered again so Steve placed a soft hand on Bucky’s shoulder, adrenaline thumping through his veins as his mind scattered in every direction trying to fix this. 

“Bucky-”

As soon as Steve made contact with Bucky’s skin, he started to thrash in the bed. Steve, heart in his throat, quickly pulled his hand back and moved away from Bucky, remembering Sam talking about how some people didn’t like to be touched when coming out of a nightmare.

“Bucky!” Steve said instead, hands shaking by his sides. “Bucky, it’s Steve. It’s just a nightmare, honey. We’re in your bed, remember?”

Bucky continued to thrash.

“We watched Tangled and Winnie’s just next door, sleeping. You’re safe. I’ve got you-”

Bucky’s eyes snapped open, his body freezing and going taut with tension. Steve let out a small sigh of relief before shuffling over, reaching out to squeeze Bucky’s shoulder, the need for touch itching his skin.

Bucky flinched before Steve’s hand could even make contact. Steve snatched his hand back like he had been burnt. “Sorry,” Bucky heaved. “No touching. Give me. A second.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Steve said, shuffling closer to the bed head so he could lean a little closer and make eye contact with Bucky who hadn’t unfrozen yet. “No need to apologise, Buck. What can I do to help?”

Bucky’s breath was coming out hard and fast, his chest heaving. If he didn’t get it under control soon, he could spiral into a panic attack and Steve did not want that.

“Just,” Bucky gritted out. “Remind me.”

“Of where you are?” Steve guessed, and at Bucky’s shaky nod, Steve continued. “We’re in Brooklyn, in your apartment, 3B. We fell asleep a few hours ago, after our shower, and we watched Tangled with Winnie. She had gotten into her Avengers pyjamas and you made fun of me for the stupid cartoon they had of me.”

“It was. Pretty stupid.”

Steve laughed, relieved when Bucky’s shoulders started to unwind. “We had pizza for dinner, remember? Winnie convinced you we should order out tonight in celebration of her finishing school this term, even though she and I had already celebrated yesterday.”

Bucky was looking at him now, so Steve hid his shaking hands by clenching them into tight fists. “You went for ice cream, didn’t you?”

Steve grinned. “You know us so well, pal.”

Bucky huffed and Steve watched happily as the rest of his body slowly became relaxed. Steve waited for direction, not wanting to overstep or make Bucky uncomfortable.

After a few measured breaths, Bucky spoke. “Okay, you can touch me now.”

Steve let out a small noise of relief, immediately placing on hand over Bucky’s heart and the other going to cup Bucky’s jaw. Steve wiped a tear away from his cheek with his thumb, peering into Bucky’s eyes.

“Hey,” Steve whispered. “Feeling a little better?”

Bucky nodded. “A little shaky but better.”

“Okay, what can I do to help?”

“Glass of water?”

Steve immediately shot out of bed and quietly walked to the kitchen, quickly stopping by Winnie’s bedroom to see that she was still asleep and Bucky’s nightmare hadn't woken her. Steve returned to the bedroom with a full glass of water to see Bucky sitting up against the headboard, rubbing the stump of his left arm tenderly.

“Here,” Steve passed the water to Bucky who took a few sips at a time, before placing it on his bedside table. 

Steve sat in the same position as Bucky and was relieved when the other man sighed and moved around until his head was resting on Steve’s chest, Steve’s arm wrapped around his shoulders.

“Just give me a few minutes, please,” Bucky whispered, knowing exactly where Steve’s mind was. “Then we can talk.”

“Okay,” Steve started to card his hands through Bucky’s hair, who melted at the touch. “But we don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, okay?”

Bucky huffed and didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Steve continued to play with his hair, knowing it was a motion that soothed his boyfriend and tried to still his rattling heart. It was terrifying seeing Bucky in pain, and the added paralysis of not knowing what to do.

Steve knew Bucky had a past with PTSD but he never got it through his thick skull that Bucky could, and was probably likely, still dealing with these problems. He’d never thought to ask or to check up on Bucky’s mental health, and Steve sat there silently fuming at himself for it. He’d put those thoughts aside for the moment though because Bucky didn’t need him to be angry, but he vowed he’d do better in the future.

“You okay, Stevie?” Bucky whispered into the quiet of the room. “You’re shaking.”

“Sorry,” Steve whispered back and took a few measured breaths. “I was just scared, that’s all. I’m okay if you’re okay.”

Bucky made a small noise and shuffled around so his head was in Steve’s lap and he was looking up at the ceiling. He still looked a little tense, but nowhere near what he was before. Steve pressed his thumb between Bucky’s eyebrows to try and smooth out the wrinkle there.

“I’m sorry I scared you.”

“There’s no need to apologise, Buck,” Steve stressed.

“Still,” Bucky worried at his lip. “I should have talked to you about this more.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t followed up with you more, but hey, we can talk about it now, okay?” Steve kissed Bucky’s forehead and went back to playing with his hair. “I’m all ears. You can come to me when you’re struggling, that’s why I’m here.” Steve echoed from when Bucky gave him the exact same advice.

“So, that was a nightmare.”

“I guessed,” Steve huffed.

Bucky rolled his eyes before his face fell. “I was-uh-remembering the day with my arm. That’s probably why I looked like I was in so much pain.”

“Does this happen often?” Steve asked.

Bucky shook his head. “Not as often as it used to. Part of the reason I drank so much was so I could blackout and not have nightmares. I usually get one once a month.”

“That’s still pretty bad, Buck,” Steve’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. 

Bucky shrugged and closed his eyes. “I can deal with it.”

“Alone?” Steve’s heart squeezed. “You shouldn’t have to deal with it alone. What about the VA?”

“I stopped going around when Winnie turned four?” Bucky guessed. “It just got too much with work and Winnie. By then I felt like I had my PTSD pretty much under control. I have management techniques. I have more good days than bad days now.”

“What can I do to help?” Steve asked, a little desperate. To know that Bucky’s been dealing with his mental health alone for two years hurt Steve to the core. No one should be alone.

“Just being you is helping. I promise, Stevie.”

Steve frowned. “What if you have another nightmare? What do I do to help?”

“No touching until I say so,” Bucky kissed Steve’s palm. “Just reminding me of where I am helps. When I’m coming out of it, reality blurs a little.”

“Okay,” Steve sighed, a little more relieved now that he knows what to do next time this happens. “Will you tell me if I can do anything else? Especially when you’re having a bad day.”

“I’ll try,” Bucky smiled.

“Thank you, honey.”

They shuffled back around until they were both back under the covers, facing each other, the bedside lamp off. Steve cupped Bucky’s cheek, Bucky’s hand on Steve’s waist. 

“I care about you a lot,” Steve whispered, Bucky’s beautiful eyes trained on Steve’s face in the dark. “And I want to help. You know I’m always here if you need anything, okay? No matter if I’m being a dick.”

Bucky sighed and leant forward, kissing Steve sweetly. Steve’s hand moved down to Bucky’s cold chest as he pulled away. “I know, Steve. Same goes for you.”

“I think you should think about going back to the VA,” Steve said, without really meaning to. 

“Why?” Bucky said, probably a little harder than he thought. “I’m fine. I’ve accepted my arm, I’m good with my alcohol, I have work, I have Winnie. I have you. This was just a nightmare.”

“Bucky,” Steve sighed. “Just because you think you’re fine doesn’t actually mean you are. Yes, this was a nightmare, but who knows how your mental health is affecting you in other areas. Just talking to someone might do you a world of good.”

“But Winnie-”

“As you said, you’ve got me now,” Steve wrapped his arm around Bucky’s waist and pulled him a little closer. “You don’t have to do it alone.”

Bucky kissed Steve’s shoulder. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Thank you.”

They closed their eyes for a few minutes, letting the sound of their breathing and Brooklyn fill the room before Steve opened his eyes slowly.

“Buck?”

“Hmm?”

“I just realised,” he started, quietly. “That I haven't seen you wear your dog tags.”

Steve heard and felt Bucky’s breath hitch. He was silent for a few moments, so long that Steve thought he must not have heard or he had fallen back asleep.

“They’re in my sock draw,” Bucky whispered. “I stopped wearing them when I got out of the hospital. The feel of them just brought back so many bad memories I couldn’t wear them anymore.”

“Have you ever tried to wear them again?”

“Once. When Winnie was three. I had a pretty back flashback.”

“Okay,” Steve whispered, giving Bucky a soft kiss on the forehead. Steve had the urgent desire to lock Bucky in a room and protect him from everything and everyone. “Goodnight, honey.”

***

Steve woke up a few hours later, staring at the ceiling as an ear-piercing alarm sounded throughout the apartment. 

He blinked at the ceiling, confused for a second before he realised what the sound was. He quickly jumped out of bed, turning the lamp on and pulling the covers off of Bucky.

“Buck!” Steve shouted over the noise. “Fire alarm, get up!”

“Uh?” Bucky said, sticking his head up to look blearily around the room.

“Fire alarm!” Steve stressed, grabbing a hoodie and throwing it over himself, shrugging into some sweatpants.

Bucky’s eyes widened comically and he jumped out of bed, following Steve in getting dressed. Steve quickly grabbed his phone and sprinted out of the bedroom and into Winnie’s room. She was sitting in bed, rubbing her eyes. Steve didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around her waist and lift her into his arms, running out into the living room to find Bucky already waiting. 

They bolted out of the front door and down the steps. Winnie gripping tightly at Steve’s neck as she cried, Bucky in front of him, making sure their path was clear, him and Steve quickly falling into military habits. Elsa, the elderly woman who lived under Steve, joined them on their descent, walking between Bucky and Steve. Steve gripped Winnie tighter as they came to their ground level and rushed out onto the sidewalk taking huge heaving breaths of fresh air.

Bucky immediately took Winnie from his arms, calming the crying girl down. Steve’s heart ached and once he did a visible check for injuries or distress over Bucky and Winnie, he turned back to his surroundings. 

Elsa was outside, as well as their other neighbour, Marta and her two sons, Diego and Hugo. Steve walked over and asked if they were okay and after Marta and Elsa confirmed that they were okay, Steve turned his eyes to the building. Two of his neighbours were missing and they were both elderly. Steve could see smoke coming from a window.

He listened for a moment and could hear sirens in the distance, but without knowing what started the fire or where it was, Steve didn't know if the fire department would make it in time to save the building or the people inside.

He could feel his muscles tighten, could feel his heart beating and the bustle of his brain fading into a clarity that only came from a mission. He felt it settle over his skin, the yearning to run back and save his neighbours, to clear the building, to put the fire out. An objective, a plan, a goal, a mission, a need and a _want_. 

“Fuck,” Steve cursed, turning to Bucky to find his boyfriend already looking at him, Winnie much calmer in his arms now. Bucky must have read the thoughts flashing across his face because the man only nodded before turning around to speak with their neighbours and coordinate them.

Steve didn’t hesitate to run back into the apartment building, not feeling an ounce of discomfort without his shield, smoke already building up in the ground level. He ran up the stairs to the first level, where the smoke was the thickest. He scanned his surroundings to see that 1A’s door was opened.

He ran in there immediately, shielding his face from the brightness of the fire coming from the kitchen. He scanned briefly to check for threats for his own safety before moving around the apartment, the familiar feel of adrenaline making him aware of every little creak and crackle of the fire.

“Stan!” Steve yelled, checking the bathroom and then one bedroom before hearing some coughing. He ran into the next bedroom to find his elderly neighbour on the ground, leaning against the wall.

Steve rushed over to him, doing an initial assessment to find no injuries. Stan was in his pyjamas, but he was coughing violently into his elbow.

“Stan,” Steve said, wrapping his arms around Stan and picking him up bridal style. “It’s Steve. I’m going to get you out, buddy, okay?”

Steve jogged back into the living area of the apartment to find that the fire had set Stan’s couch on fire and it was quickly spreading across the roof. Steve quickly ran out the front door and down the steps, taking heaving breaths of fresh air along with Stan as they came outside.

Marta rushed towards them, a nurse, and started to check Stan as Steve gently lowered him to the sidewalk. Steve quickly looked over to see that Bucky and Winnie were talking to Hugo and Diego and that they were okay before he turned back to the apartment and set off to find Jack.

Jack was just coming out of apartment 1B when Steve rushed up the stairs. He was coughing like his neighbour, in his pyjamas. Steve rushed to him.

“Jack!” He yelled, over the roar of the fire.

“Steve?” The man asked, looking around confused. “What the fuck is going on?”

Steve didn’t have time to laugh. “Fire!”

Steve shot a glance at Jack’s ears and saw that he wasn’t wearing his hearing aids. Steve ushered Jack towards the steps and signed the word for fire, leave, and now.

Jack’s eyes widened and he quickly let Steve wrap an arm around his shoulders as they shuffled down the stairs as quickly as they could. As they neared the door outside, it burst open, firemen rushing in.

“No one else is left!” Steve called out to the closest fireman. “It started on the first level.”

The fireman moved on after Steve’s direction. Jack sat down next to Stan when they were outside and Steve went to help Marta but Winnie leapt into his arms, gripping tightly at him as she shoved her face into his neck.

Steve rubbed soothing circles on Winnie’s back as Bucky gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Steve, still feeling the high of battle, double-checked that all residents of his building were outside and safe with Bucky. He watched as firemen moved around the two trucks which had pulled up, casting flashing blue and red lights across the bustling street as people came out of their apartments to see what was happening.

Medics had arrived and they were tending to Jack and Stan. Steve’s lung constricted and he coughed, Bucky scrunching his eyebrows together in concern.

“I’m fine,” Steve gasped. “I’m good.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Bucky snapped, taking Winnie back into his arms. “Go get checked, you just ran back into a building on fire.”

Steve was going to argue because he was fine but then Winnie turned her head and gave him her signature puppy dog eyes that were watery with tears. “P-please,” she asked. “Get the doctors to check on you, St-Stevie.”

“Aw, sunshine,” Steve’s heart melted for the kid. He kissed her tenderly on the forehead. “I will, okay? Have you been checked out?”

She nodded and at Bucky’s confirmation that they had both been checked out, Steve turned to the closest medic and identified himself.

He let the post-battle adrenaline slowly seep out of his veins as he sat in the back of an ambulance, an oxygen mask over his face and shock blanket around his shoulders. He thought it was all a little unnecessary considering the serum, but Winnie liked the foil of the blanket and Bucky looked less worried, so Steve took it without complaint.

He made sure to pay attention to the firefighters around him. If they needed him, he would jump in and help out in any way, but they got the fire under control within twenty minutes. Stan and Jack had to go to the local hospital for smoke inhalation, but they waved and smiled at their neighbours before they were driven off.

Marta and her sons stayed with Elsa. Within thirty minutes, Marta’s wife, Sofia, came running over, obviously from work, still in her nurse's scrubs. 

Steve was surprised when his phone started ringing as they watched Sofia and Marta embrace. Winnie had fallen asleep in Bucky’s arms, who was sitting next to Steve in the ambulance. They both weren’t surprised when they saw that it was Tony ringing.

Steve picked up the phone and was assaulted with loud yelling.

“Slow down!” Steve nearly shouted into the phone, Bucky wincing as Winnie moved and jabbed him in the side. “Tony, calm down. What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Tony shrieked. “What’s wrong?”

“Tony-” Nat’s voice came through. “Go get a coffee.”

Steve could still hear Tony shouting as he retreated and went to get a coffee, but his focus went back to Nat.

“Friday just woke us up and told us there was a fire in your apartment building. Are you okay? Bucky and Winnie?”

“We’re okay,” Steve sighed, taking off his oxygen mask. “The fire started in 1A. The fire crew are here and it's under control. Everyone got out safely.”

Nat made a small noise of relief. Bucky nudged Steve, who turned the call onto speaker and held the phone between them.

“All thanks to Steve here,” Bucky said, looking at Steve softly. “He got Winnie and me out before running back in for Stan and Jack.”

“Huh,” Nat said as Sam’s voice came through, yelling out “heroic idiot!”.

“Hey!” Steve said. “I’ll have you know that I was very safe.”

“Right,” Sam drawled. “Very safe in a burning building.”

“Well,” Bucky rested his head on Steve’s shoulder. “He’s safe and alive with me right now. He’s getting some medical attention-”

A loud chorus of what’s came over the speaker, Steve wincing as Nat laughed.

“Are you for real, Barnes? Steve never willingly gets medical attention after a mission.”

Bucky head shot up and he glared at Steve accusingly. 

Steve shrugged. “Well, uh, Winnie asked me and-

“Ah,” Sam laughed. “So Winnie asks and you can’t say no to her?”

“She gave me puppy dog eyes,” Steve pouted.

Bucky huffed. “I’ll get a photo for you all and send it.”

Steve heard his family’s laughter from the phone and smiled softly at the ground, taking another swing of oxygen from the mask.

Bucky did indeed get a photo. When Winnie woke up a little later, they stood up and got a few photos of Steve in the ambulance. Bucky said his favourite was one of Steve wrapped in the silver blanket, smiling brightly under the oxygen strapped to his face. There’s ash on his face, his hair a little darker than normal. The blue lights in the background cast shadows across Steve’s face. Steve smiles brighter as he watches Bucky make it his home screen wallpaper. 

Becca and Bucky’s family call pretty soon after that when Bucky sends the photo of Steve and Winnie with a medic to the Barnes group chat. A few hours later, when the sun is peeking out from behind the surrounding buildings, Bucky is cleared to head up to their apartments to pack a few bags of their clothes and necessary items. 

Bucky comes back with two bags, full of things from his apartment and Steve’s. After a final check from a medic, Steve quickly thanks all of the emergency responders he can and even poses for some photos before they get into Bucky’s car and head for Becca’s apartment in Queens.

They arrive at Becca’s nearing seven am. Winnie immediately falls asleep and after some encouragement from Becca, Steve and Bucky fall into her bed, asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows.

***

Steve wakes up slowly around twelve, opening his eyes to find Bucky looking at him softly, a small smile on his face. Once seeing his boyfriend awake, Bucky wiggles closer to Steve, planting a small kiss on Steve’s lips.

“Morning,” Bucky says, quietly. “You smell like smoke.”

Steve grinned. “Might be because I was just in a burning building.”

A crease forms between Bucky’s eyebrows.

“Hey, hey,” Steve kisses the crease. “I’m okay, you’re okay, everyone's okay.”

“I know,” Bucky whispered. “I was just worried, s’all. You didn’t even hesitate to go for Jack and Stan.”

Steve hummed. “I wouldn’t have done it if you and Winnie weren’t okay.”

Bucky’s face softened. “I know. Thank you for thinking quickly.”

“Of course,” Steve whispered. “I’ll always do everything to keep you two safe. Thank you for working with me to get out and make sure everyone else was okay on the ground.”

Bucky kissed him softly before pulling back. He closed his eyes. “Is Winnie awake?”

Steve concentrated for a second. “Her and Becca are talking quietly in the kitchen.”

Bucky hummed but didn’t move. “A couple more seconds with my boyfriend’s sans child please.”

“Whatever you want, Buck.”

Bucky opened his eyes a few minutes later, squinting at Steve who was tightly gripping Bucky’s waist. “I can hear your brain from here, what’s up?”

Steve sighed and sunk deeper into this pillow, both relieved and disappointed that his boyfriend could read him so well. It was true. Steve’s brain was running at a million miles per minute and he knew he could be able to make sense of everything more if he spoke to someone about the new feelings creeping back up, but he didn’t really know the implications.

“Is it bad that I missed it?” Steve whispered. “The adrenaline and satisfaction of a job well done?”

“Not at all,” Bucky lips twitched. “It’s been a part of your life for a very long time, Steve. It’s not strange to think of it fondly.”

“I dunno, Buck. All this talk about finding a purpose and then I’m forced into a position to help save lives, it makes me think of good things I could be doing, you know?”

Bucky’s eyes scrunched together. “What? Like rejoining the Avengers?”

“No,” Steve shook his head. “That’s-I think those stakes are too high, you know? And half the problem was that I was working with my family. The days started to blend together.”

Bucky hummed. “So, you want to become a vigilante or something? Go out at night and stop robbers and come back home where I gotta clean up the blood in the bathroom?”

Steve laughed, pulling his adorable boyfriend even closer. “No, pal, no. I don’t want to become a vigilante. I just didn’t realise how much I missed becoming Captain America.”

Bucky’s face scrunched together. “Why do you say it like that? You _are_ Captain America, Steve. It’s no different from me being Professor Barnes at work and being Bucky Barnes at home.”

“They’re two different people,” Steve sighed. He and Bucky have had discussions surrounding this before. “I just haven’t switched back to Cap’s mindset in so long, it felt good.”

“I don’t think there’s much of a switch as you make it out to be,” Bucky said slowly like he was choosing his words carefully. “I mean there’s a little bit of a change, but everyone changes slightly when they’re at work. Your voice takes on a more commanding tone and you become more confident. When you’re Steve Rogers your a bashful fucking idiot but when you’re Captain America you’re a confident fucking idiot. Both ‘sides’ of you, if you wanna call it that, are stubborn and compassionate and are good people. I don’t see much of a difference, Stevie.”

Steve huffed, uncomfortable at having his viewpoints challenged bluntly. “Well, I can’t do the whole Captain America thing anyway because of Sam.”

“Then what will you do?”

“I don’t know,” Steve said truthfully. “But I was given these skills, this power, this responsibility to help people.”

“I think that can be a very destructive way of thinking,” Bucky said worriedly. “You need to look after yourself too.”

“Haven’t I been doing that?” Steve asked, and when Bucky raised his eyebrows, Steve laughed. “I mean, not to the highest of standards but I’m doing better. I’m eating better, I’m not jumping into fights, no one's shooting at me, I have a wonderful, adorable and sexy boyfriend.”

“Wonderful, sexy _and_ adorable?”

“I’m doing better,” Steve said, knowing he could talk about Bucky being sexy and adorable and wonderful for the rest of his life. “Why can’t I help people at the same time?”

“I guess,” Bucky conceded. “Maybe talk to Sam or Nat about it first, though. I feel like they’ll have more of a grasp about this than me, but I’ll support you no matter what, okay?”

“Thank you, baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG THINGS HAPPENING!!! yay for a healthy relationship with communication! poor buck tho :((
> 
> Please ignore some updates in the coming hours, I’m just going back to old chapters and doing some very minor editing that y’all don’t need to worry about. 
> 
> Also, this will be the final chapter update for the week, so in the mean time, why don’t you check out my other stucky fics? Enemies to lovers, Modern Royalty AU, meet-cute/meet-ugly, Shrunkyclunks- all waiting for you. Have an awesome day everyone and thank you xxx


	10. Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria waved her hand around the office. “Will it do?”
> 
> “Yes,” Steve smiled tightly. “Thank you, Deputy Director Hill.”
> 
> “No problem, Special Agent Rogers.”
> 
> Steve slumped in his chair the moment she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is obviously not Agents of SHIELD canon so ignore AOS completely. 
> 
> TW (racism/transphobia) if you’d like a spoilery explanation please see the end notes of this chapter.
> 
> this is the biggest chapter in the fic (10,200+) so i hope that makes up for the later than usual update :))
> 
> title from Sunshine on my Shoulders, John Denver.

Steve organised to have lunch with Nat and not with Sam, because deep, deep down, Steve knew that Sam would resist Steve getting back in the game.

It was only a thought the next day after the fire, sitting in Becca’s living room as the Barnes went to the shops. He was thinking about calling Sam but just as he was about to press the button on his phone, he hesitated and found himself closing his phone and turning the TV on.

Sam would resist it. Nat wouldn’t like it, but she wouldn’t stop him. He felt like he needed to do this. He wanted to get back in the game. He didn’t understand how much he had missed having a mission until the fire. 

It felt like a comforting blanket over his skin which he absorbed into his bones and muscle. His skin was still itching twenty-four hours later. And this time he had Bucky and Winnie to keep him from slipping into the spiral.

Bucky’s persistence at the minimal difference between Steve Rogers and Captain America also caught under Steve’s skin. Nat and Sam have said similar things, but Steve just doesn’t see it. All he sees is Captain America becoming such a big thing that it’s no longer his, it’s no longer him, and when he does have to become Captain America he doesn’t feel like Steve Rogers.

But then all he can hear in his head is Bucky’s voice, telling him that there’s not one without the other. Captain America would not exist, would not be stubborn or have a strong moral compass without Steve Rogers, and Steve Rogers wouldn’t be where he is without Captain America. _Two sides of the one coin_. 

Nat says yes to lunch. 

She comes into the city for it on Sunday. Winnie was staying with Becca for the day and Bucky was heading back to the apartment building to meet authorities. They go to a typical hipster café that Nat said in her texts had really good food.

He gets there first but doesn’t have to wait long.

She gives him a kiss on the cheek and sits down opposite him. “Missed you and Winnie yesterday for ballet.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, looking at a menu. “We were pretty tired and slept in.”

“Understandable. Is the apartment okay?”

“We think it only really got Stan’s apartment and a little bit of Jack’s. Maybe Marta’s and Sofia’s. Bucky’s there now with a fire crew, some cops, all the insurance people and stuff.”

Nat hummed. Steve looked up to see her leaning back in her chair, one perfectly manicured eyebrow raised.

“What?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re fidgety,” Nat pointed to where Steve was playing with the corners of his menu. She placed her foot on top of his bouncing foot under the table. “This is the first time you’ve made eye contact with me, and you didn’t give me a reason why you wanted to have lunch.”

“Can’t I have lunch with my best friend because I want to have lunch with my best friend?” Steve asked, forcing himself to maintain eye contact with Nat.

Nat squinted at him. “The day after your building was on fire? No.”

Steve huffed. “Can we just get something to eat please?”

She smirked, but they ordered their food and just talked about random things until it arrived. Sam was doing well as Cap, Pepper’s doing good with the baby and Fury nearly popped a vein when Tony broke the news to him about his retirement. 

The waiter placed Steve’s veggie burger and Natasha’s vegan margherita pizza in front of them and Steve was only one bite into his burger when Nat slurped loudly on her finished milkshake, put it down and stared at him.

Steve gulped.

“Come on, Rogers,” she smirked. “Just because you won’t talk about it doesn’t mean that it’s not there. You can’t avoid it.”

“I want to get back in the game,” Steve blurted.

Her hesitation could only be seen as she stopped chewing on her pizza for a few seconds before she resumed. She wiped the corners of her mouth with a napkin before speaking.

“The game?”

“I don’t know,” Steve confessed, looking sadly at his burger. “It’s just that it felt really good to help people with the fire, you know? After getting Bucky and Winnie out I went back in for Stan and Jack, and it felt good. It felt familiar.”

“So, you want to re-join the Avengers?”

“No,” Steve said and wasn’t surprised to find a little relief on Nat’s face. “No, not the Avengers, but something else. I just don’t know what.”

They had a few more bites of food, thinking.

“Why’d you come to me?’

“Because you’re my family,” Steve shrugged. “You know me. You’d understand.”

“And I wouldn’t stop you.”

“And you wouldn’t stop me.”

“The fact that you know that Sam or Tony or literally anyone else would stop you is a bad sign, Steve,” Nat leant forward. “But you’re right. You’re free to make your own stupid decisions.”

“Do you have any ideas?” Steve asked, ignoring her statements because he didn’t want to think about this. He just knew it was something he needed.

“They’re always looking for people at the new SHIELD,” Nat said. “And they wouldn’t say no to you.”

“Any specific jobs?” Steve asked. “I’m hesitant about going into the field.”

Nat smirked, “You want to be a desk jockey?”

“Somewhere in between?”

“I might have something,” Nat waved her empty milkshake to a waiter who nodded and turned to get another one. “I’ll email you tonight.”

“Okay.”

“I will say something though,” Nat said quietly. “I understand how hard it is to let go of this part of your life. I haven’t let go because of it. You’re allowed to want to be back in the game, but you can’t let what happened to you happen again. You’re in a good place now.”

“I have more to live for now,” Steve said back just as quietly.

“I know, but just because you’re heart’s beating doesn’t mean you’re actually alive. You’ve made a commitment to Bucky and Winnie, and you can’t abandon them.”

“I wouldn’t.”

She smiled sadly. “I know you would never mean to, but you didn’t mean to last time with us.”

“That was Captain America,” Steve said. “I’m not him anymore.”

Nat sighed. “Two sides of the same coin, Steve. You may not have the shield and costume, but you’re still as much Cap as you were five months ago. Cap isn’t a character, he’s you. Sam’s taken the title and he’s become his own Captain America. Cap’s both a symbol for the world and a person. And you were, and still are, that person.”

“It won’t happen again,” Steve said.

Nat didn’t say anything but just thanked the waiter as he placed the new strawberry milkshake in front of her.

He was sitting on Bucky’s couch later that night, their apartments cleared by the authorities when his phone buzzed with an email. He could hear Bucky and Winnie laughing in the bathroom as Winnie had a bath. He opened the email and read it without prying eyes.

Nat had pulled some strings and gotten him a job at the new SHIELD. He starts in four days.

After Winnie’s been asleep a few hours and Steve and Bucky have had their hot chocolates, they’re snuggling on the couch when Steve drops the news.

“Really?” Bucky said, moving around until his head is in Steve’s lap and he can look up at Steve. “That quickly?”

“Guess I’m just that good,” Steve smirked.

Bucky rolled his eyes and moved his head to bump against Steve’s hand, prompting him to pat his hair. Steve indulged him. 

“You’ll be okay?” Bucky asked, much quieter.

Steve kissed him lightly on the forehead. “I’ll be the trainer of a STRIKE Team. I train them before they go in the field so, no, I won’t be in any physical danger.”

“I don’t care whether you get shot or not,” Bucky blurted out, then winced. “Actually fuck that. I care a whole fucking lot if you get shot so don’t do that. I’m asking if you’ll be okay,” he brushed his finger on Steve’s temple, “up here.”

Steve looked up to the TV which was playing some weird old rom-com on low. They had turned it down a while ago so they could talk and kiss in peace. Steve watched as the male love interest got down on one knee, the female protagonist’s hands flying up to cover her mouth as she started crying. Steve had the distant thought he’d do that for Bucky one day. 

“I don’t know, Buck,” Steve conceded. “You never know what you’re going to get at a job like this, how it will play out, whether you do well. I’ll have good days and bad days, that’s part of the job. But if the bad days get longer or harder and more frequent, I’ll speak up, okay?”

“Okay,” Bucky said, smiling a little. “I will too. Communication is key to any healthy relationship.”

Steve grinned.

***

When Wednesday comes around it’s Maria Hill who takes Steve to his office.

She’s eyeing him as they walk through the corridors of SHIELD's new headquarters in Manhattan, a generally non-descriptive building apart from the bulletproof windows, bolts on every door and security cameras that see every single millimetre of the perimeter. SHIELD’s been up and running for just under two years now.

“Nat called me yesterday.”

Steve groaned and hung his head back, closing his eyes. “Of course she fucking did.”

Maria huffed. “Want to know what she said?”

Steve turned his head to look at her as they rounded a corner. “I’m guessing you're going to tell me.

She grinned. “Damn right I am. She asked me to look after you and said that you’re not allowed to step one foot on the field.”

“Yes, mother,” Steve chorused.

Maria whacked his arm. “Show your mother some respect. She and I have worked very hard to raise you into a polite young boy.”

Steve cackled, scaring the intern at the vending machine.

They finally came to a stop at the end of a hallway on the third floor, a black door standing tall. At Maria’s gesture, Steve used the keycard they had given him at the start of the day to swipe across the keypad next to the door before placing his hand on it to scan. 

The light turned green and there was a small click as the door unlocked. Steve opened it and walked through into his new office.

It wasn’t big, but it wasn’t small either. Straight ahead there was a dark oak desk, large black swivel chair behind it. There was a standard-issue SHIELD laptop as well as stationary neatly placed on the desk, sunlight streaming in through the large windows that were the majority of the back wall. There were two chairs in front of the desk, a pot plant in the corner, and a dark grey rug underneath. 

“That’s where you work,” Maria said, pointing to the desk. 

Steve nodded and walked over the desk, thumb brushing over the two chairs in front of it, before moving to the windows to look out to his view. It was a nice view, a building taking up half of it but Steve could see the busy and crowded street below that would be entertaining to watch. 

He turned and placed his hands on top of his chair, facing Maria who had her eyebrows raised at him, arms crossed over her chest.

“Meeting in Conference Room B to meet your STRIKE Team in an hour. You’ll have some team training sessions today so you can get to know your team, then the real work begins to get them trained and ready for the field. ”

Steve nodded.

Maria waved her hand around the office. “Will it do?”

“Yes,” Steve smiled tightly. “Thank you, Deputy Director Hill.”

“No problem, Special Agent Rogers.”

Steve slumped in his chair the moment she was gone.

“Fuck,” he cursed, hand rubbing the tension from his forehead.

It was great seeing Maria, no doubt. Steve loved the intelligent and capable woman and valued their friendship. He hadn’t spoken to her for a while, their paths not crossing as she and Fury set up this new SHIELD and he prepared to retire. That part was great.

The office? On the surface level, great too, but as Steve looked around he couldn't stop the coil of dread in his stomach.

It had no personality. He would need to fix that before he would start to lose his. 

Steve felt himself relax into his mission mindset as he entered Conference Room B an hour later. The room was filled with ten people, loudly talking as they sat around the large conference room. As Steve entered, a silent hush fell over everyone.

Steve smiled tightly and nodded his head, trying to make eye contact with all of them. “Hello, everyone.”

“Captain Rogers,” one man said closest to Steve, standing up and sticking out his hand. He was a few centimetres shorter than Steve, fair skin standing out with the standard-issue training uniform Steve was also wearing. He had very strong facial features and a buzz cut. “I’m Agent Brendan Thompson, sir.”

Steve nodded and shook Thompson’s hand. He would be Steve’s second in command, Steve remembered from the rundown Maria had given him earlier. “Pleasure to meet you, Thompson, although it’s Special Agent, not Captain.”

Steve was sure that Thompson’s lips curled into a smirk, but it was gone pretty quickly as he nodded. “Of course, sorry, sir.”

“That’s alright,” Steve turned to the rest of the group and got to work introducing himself.

There were only a few women on the team, which Steve was slightly disappointed about, and no one of any skin tone than white. They all seemed nice and respectful and good at their jobs. Steve didn’t feel a connection with any of them, and he didn’t like the lack of diversity. It seemed his connection with them would come in time.

They headed off to the training facility in the basement, the rest of the team talking and laughing, Steve standing quietly by himself. Maria had told him that this team had already worked together in their academy to get into the program but Steve didn’t realise he would feel like such an outcast.

As they went into the training room that had been hired and designated to them, Steve waved to get everyone's attention. “I’m just going to head to the locker room, so start your stretches without me.”

Not waiting for a response, Steve spun on his heel and went to the locker room, quickly walking into a toilet cubicle, locking the door behind him and sitting on the close lid of the toilet.

He hung his head in his hands, taking measured breaths to try and quell the panic attack he had felt in his chest since the elevator. He took deep breaths, Sam’s calming voice in his ear as he pictured Bucky’s smiling face and Winnie’s giggle. He continued to take good breaths, thinking about his and Bucky’s date night tonight. It helped and he found his heartbeat slowing down.

He didn’t realise it was going to be this nerve-racking to get back in the game. He knew he needed to, but it didn’t stop the panic from constricting his lungs or make his hands shake. Working with any new team was always going to be difficult. It took time to become so comfortable with each other, both with the Howlies and the Avengers. This wouldn’t be any different. 

He was taking his last measured breaths and gearing himself to go back out when he heard the locker room door swing open and what sounded like three sets of feet walk in.

Steve waited and listened as they headed over to the wall of lockers, the three men laughing about something. There was a bang as a locker door was opened.

“Thank you!” one guy said, still laughing. It sounded like Dave Letterman, an agent from Steve’s team. “I legit thought I was the only one uncomfortable with the new bathrooms.”

“Nah, pal,” another voice Steve recognised from his team, John Harrison, chimed in. “You aren’t the only one. I thought this place was filled with tough, real people, not a bunch of snowflakes and their, ‘gender is a spectrum’ bullshit.”

Steve’s jaw clenched so hard he swear he heard his teeth snap. A low growl from the back of his throat forced its way to his clenched teeth and he stood up, fully intending to punch the living daylights out of this son of a bitch and then sit down with him as he bled out, educating him on modern society and how to be fucking respectful and understanding of everyone, but just as he was about to push open the door, he froze.

“Well, you know what else is bullshit?” Brendan Thompson’s voiced called out, and Steve had the brief second to be utterly disappointed and angry that his supposed second in command was letting this slide before fury overtook anything else. “This Captain America thing. Who the fuck is _Sam Wilson_? What this country needs is someone who represents American values, who represents America. Not some ni-”

Steve slammed open the toilet door with his foot, hearing it distantly crash against the opposite wall over the thundering in his head. He turned towards the three men who were standing straight, eyes wide and faces conveyed varying displays of disbelief and, what Steve hoped was, fear.

“And what do you think these American values are, Thompson?” Steve said lowly, stalking like a predator to his prey because he was surely not letting them leave here alive. “Freedom, equality, justice? Or fear, bigotry, and hate?”

“Captain, I-”

“Oh, no,” Steve said, smiling tightly and waved his hand through the air, coming toe to toe with Thompson and looking down at him. Not so tough now, Steve thought. “Special Agent Rogers. Sam Wilson is Captain America, and weren’t you saying something about him just now?”

Thompson gaped, and Lettermen tried to step away. Steve’s hand shot out and gripped Letterman’s shoulder hard, keeping him in place. “Hm, Letterman? Didn’t Thompson here want to say something about war veteran, the protector of Earth, leader of the Avengers, best friend of Steve Rogers and son of Darlene Wilson, _Sam Wilson_?”

“Sir-”

“No? Nothing other than the automatic respect he has a right to as a human being, no matter his skin tone or background?” Steve sneered as Thompson gulped. “Didn’t think so.”

Steve stepped away and clapped Letterman and Harrison on the shoulders, so forcibly they shuddered as their knees gave out beneath them. It was only Steve’s grip on their shoulders that kept them from collapsing to the ground. “Well boys, one thing you would have learnt with me as your supervisor is that I don’t like bullies, especially bullies with prejudice and bigotry running through their veins.”

“Would have?” Harrison squeaked.

Steve smiled. “Yep. You have all been removed from SHIELD, effective immediately, and you’ll be blacklisted from any agency all over the world until you can call me and sincerely explain why the things you said today are wrong because unlike you three, I’m a decent human being who believes in growth even when I want to punch the ever-living shit out of you.”

Thompson seemed to regain some courage as he stuck his chin up at Steve. “You don’t have the authority to do that, sir.”

“You want to try me?”

Within thirty minutes Steve had texted three names to Natasha Romanoff and she had sent back a confirmation that they would never gain a high position in any place of employment until they changed their ways, sent the three men to Maria Hill who had sighed and regretfully looked at her gun before removing the three men’s badges from them and signing the forms to fire them, and then happily kicked the three men to the street, waving at them before making the phone gesture with his hand, holding it up to his ear as Thompson flipped him off.

Steve grinned mechanically as he walked over to Maria who was waiting by the elevator, eyebrow raised and lips lifted at the corners.

“Have fun?”

“So much,” Steve gushed as they stepped into the elevator, the doors sliding shut. Steve pressed the button for the training facility, and Maria the button for her office. 

“Steve,” Maria said, a hint of steel in her voice. “Today was an extreme case and whilst I one hundred and ten per cent fully support this decision and move, you need to know that just because you disagree with someone doesn’t mean you can kick them out.”

“Maria-”

“I know. I said that this was an extreme case, but if you disagree with someone's ice cream flavour or something, that doesn’t mean you can kick them out. This isn’t the Avengers. We aren’t a family here. We’re barely even friends. We have a job to do and we do it.”

Steve frowned. “We did that at the Avengers too.”

“Whilst bantering like siblings on comms with a million inside jokes between you, yes, I know, I listened to it for years. Things work differently here, and you know that.”

Steve watched the numbers move above the door. “So you’re saying it’s going to be like before Hydra, where I was moved into a position and told to shoot?”

Maria paused. “Yes, to an extent.”

Steve’s hands curled into fists. “And how do you know that Hydra or something similar isn’t under your nose here and now?”

“We’ve taken the precautions needed.”

Steve rolled his eyes so hard he had the thought that he might need to see a doctor later today. “Well, these precautions of yours ended up with three racist and transphobic assholes under your nose, and I wonder how many more of them there are here.”

Maria didn’t say anything, and Steve didn’t either as he stepped out of the elevator at his floor, marching towards the training facility to push his team through the wringer. 

***

Later, Steve’s only just getting out of the shower when he hears a quick knock on his apartment door before it opens, the sound of Bucky calling out, “sweetheart?”, sounding out through the apartment.

Steve quickly dries himself off and wraps the towel around his waist, stepping out of the steaming bathroom and walking into the living room to find Bucky dressed and ready to go on their date night.

He’s smiling and he looks extra good in his dark navy polo with the top two buttons undone and black skinny jeans, huge smile overtaking his beautiful face.

“Hey, baby, how was work?”

Steve’s face crumbled, and so did Bucky’s as he raced forward, wrapping his arm around Steve and pulling him into a tight, warm hug, Steve’s tears darkening his shirt. 

“Fucking awful, Buck.”

Bucky made a wounded sound in the back of his throat, somehow pulling Steve even tighter to his body, like he was trying to absorb Steve into himself. Honestly, Steve would let him. He’d give anything to live inside of Bucky’s heart for the rest of his life.

“Why, Steve?” Bucky asked, quietly, hand moving him a slow and gentle up and down motion on Steve’s bareback. “Why was it awful?”

Steve pulled back and wiped his face. “Let me get dressed then we can talk.”

Bucky nodded and kissed him lightly on the lips before his hand slid down Steve's arms, interlacing their fingers together. Steve walked them to the bedroom where he got dressed in silence, Bucky looking on with a furrow in his brow and frown on his lips. He interlaced their fingers together when Steve was done, leading them out to the living room and sitting on the couch, legs crossed underneath them as they faced each other, their hands still clasped between them resting on the couch.

“Okay,” Bucky said, quietly, thumb rubbing across Steve’s hand. “Tell me everything.”

“Date night?”

Bucky squeezed his hands. “Just being with you is enough, Steve. I don’t care what we do.”

Steve squeezed Bucky’s hand back and told him everything, from describing his office to the three assholes, to the cute barista at the small coffee shop inside the building.

Bucky’s chest was heaving by the end of Steve’s story, and Steve had the distant thought that he had picked the perfect guy for him, based solely on the fact that Bucky could get really angry about human rights and politics too.

“What the fuck.”

“I agree,” Steve nodded. “What the fuck.”

“How?” Bucky gasped.

“I don’t know!” Steve nearly shouted, removing his hands from Bucky’s to grip his hair. “How the ever-loving fuck did they get a job?”

“The world is so messed up,” Bucky groaned, slumped down on the couch with his eyes closed, face towards the ceiling. There was a beat where they both had their mini anger-filled existential crises, before Bucky’s head rolled to face Steve, eyes open and searching. “And are you okay?”

“Angry,” Steve said, taking stock of the layers of feelings sitting in his stomach that had time to brew. “Disappointed, satisfied I fired them and taught them a lesson.”

“I kinda wish I was there, to be honest.”

Steve grinned. “You would have loved it.”

Bucky grinned back and Steve felt something inside himself shift. No matter what would go on in the world, whether that be failed political systems or work, Bucky would be there to listen to Steve’s angry rants and make him smile. 

“Are the rest of your team like that?” Bucky mused. “Maybe it’ll be like a reality TV or something. Each day someone is eliminated.”

Steve chuckled and shook his head. “I don’t think so. Maria said that I wouldn’t be able to do it again, only if it was like an extreme today.”

Bucky’s face scrunched up in confusion and Steve had to interlace their fingers back together otherwise he would die. “That’s a bit odd, isn’t it?”

Steve shrugged. He felt off about it too. “That’s how the industry works, I guess. My job is to train these people, not to get into politics with them. We aren’t in the business of making friends.”

“Are you-” Bucky said, before stopping himself to rethink his question. “Is that the kind of environment you want to work in?”

Steve hummed and took some time to think about his response. Maria was right. This environment at SHIELD would be completely different than the environment with the Avengers. The Avengers were a team, yes, but a family. Yes they were different and yes they fought, but that’s what a family does. They were put into a position and found each other through their traumas and dreams, cementing their bonds that have survived intergalactic wars and retirement. 

He wouldn’t find that at SHIELD. He might find work friends, buddy’s to have some banter within the locker room or get drunk on a Friday night with, but not the friends that survive the hangover together the next morning. And he especially wouldn’t make friends with people like Brendan Thompson, or anyone who associates with people like him.

It just seemed wrong that they were in the business to save lives, yet they hired people who didn’t believe in humanity. 

But were they in the business to save lives? Or is it just going to be intel and money and power, like before? Is that the difference between ebing an Avenger and a SHIELD Agent?

“I’m not sure,” Steve said, finally. “I definitely don’t want to work with people like that, and I don’t necessarily like the idea of hiring people like that even if they are good at their jobs. But working today with the rest of the team wasn’t bad.”

In fact, he enjoyed it. He liked leading, always had. Even when he was a five-foot, sick and raging wrecking ball, he would lead other revolutionaries in protests, both silent and loud. He led in World War 2 with the best unit ever known, had led the Avengers into space and back. 

He enjoyed making decisions by strategizing and processing information. He found peace in pushing people to their best, encouraging them to be better and become better. He found a passion for passing on knowledge, in creating an environment in which everyone felt loved and heard.

He’d been able to apply some of that with the new team. And within a few weeks, Steve would see himself loving that part of the job. But would it be worth it knowing what he was training these people for, and who they worked for?

Did he even know what he was training these people for, and who they worked for?

He didn’t. Not really. He didn’t have the clearance, and even if he asked, he’d be told that it wasn’t his concern or job.

With that philosophy, he could be training this team to be the best STRIKE Team in SHIELD, but they could be raiding small villages and swapping dirty intel.

“Well,” Bucky sighed, leaning over and placing a kiss on Steve’s cheek. “You survived day one, Steve. I’m very proud of you. Give it some time to see if you settle in, okay? You’ve gotta be flexible in a new situation, but if you need to, I’ll support you if it isn’t the right place for you.”

“Thank you, Buck,” Steve said earnestly, meaning every word. He had no idea what he would do without Bucky in his life.

Bucky stood up and stretched his arm above his head, his shirt riding up to show smooth skin. “You want to go have sex in your bedroom?”

“God, yes.”

Bucky interlaced their hands together and led Steve to the bedroom.

***

The next day, Steve goes back into work and gets to spend more time with his team. Thompson had been replaced with a well-built, witty woman by the name of Lucy Masters and she could command the team like it was nobody's business. Steve was very lucky to have her as second in command.

He grew to like everyone else on the team over the day, doing exercises and drills to pinpoint personal and team weaknesses. They worked well together, but Steve still saw heaps of room for improvement and he was excited to work on that. They also seemed much nicer than the other three, and Steve felt himself settle by the end of their training sessions that they were good people.

It didn’t stop him from being on high alert, the unshakable feeling of discomfort not knowing who the people in this building were.

He signed off with enough time to drive back to his apartment, park his bike and then walk to the school vacation day camp that Winnie went to for the day.

He was sweaty and gross when he picked her up, but she still jumped into his arms for a hug and he felt any residual unease from work fade away as Winnie’s sunshine bathed over him.

Winnie was a ball of energy as they walked back to their apartment building, talking a mile a minute about her day and about their weekend coming up. She was super excited since Steve and Bucky told her this morning they’d be going to the Avengers catch up tonight all together, then staying the night so Winnie could have her ballet lessons with Natasha the following morning before they went back home for dinner.

Steve was pretty excited too. Winnie hadn’t met all the Avengers yet, and she would be overwhelmed in a good way. Plus, this was a pretty big step forward in Bucky and Steve’s relationship. Even though Winnie didn’t know they were dating, she was still meeting Steve’s family. If it didn’t go well, Steve would be pretty heartbroken.

Winnie raced off into her room as soon as Steve opened the door, getting changed out of her dirty clothes into something more comfortable and relaxed. Steve got together a small after school snack that she munched on as he took a shower and got dressed out of his work things.

They then worked together to pack an overnight bag for Winnie, then Bucky and then Steve. They were into their fourth episode of Bluey when Bucky opened the door, crouching down to gather Winnie in his arms.

“Hey,” Bucky blew a raspberry on Winnie’s arm and laughed as she struggled out of his reach. “Packed and ready to go?”

Winnie cheered as Steve wrestled her from Bucky, draping herself over Steve as Bucky looked fondly at them. Steve so badly wanted to kiss him. “Yep. All you gotta do is get dressed.”

“You two are the best,” Bucky grinned, kissing Winnie and then Steve on the cheek before unpacking his briefcase and getting changed.

Whilst he did that, Steve and Winnie started to pack Bucky’s car with their bags. Well, Steve packed the car with Winnie directing him from his shoulders. Steve felt like that boy with the rat under his chef hat directing his every move.

Once Bucky was dressed and ready to go, they got into the car with Bucky in the driver's seat as the car was ready and modified for his one arm, Steve in the passenger and Winnie in her car seat in the back.

“The Little Mermaid songs, please, Stevie!” Winnie cried as Bucky pulled out of the car park and headed in the direction of the Compound.

“Of course, sunshine,” Steve grinned at her in the rear-view mirror, getting his phone plugged in and within seconds Ariel’s voice filled the car, Winnie's following suit a second later.

“Jesus Christ,” Bucky said a few minutes later underneath his breath.

“What?” Steve asked, stopping his singing of Under the Sea.

“When you two get like this at home I can escape to my room or something,” Bucky said, glancing at Steve out the corner of his eyes, voice dropping with fake disdain. “Now I'm stuck here.”

Steve rolled his eyes and leant forward, turning the music up a few notches and belting out the chorus with Winnie. Bucky winced, but there was a wide grin on his face.

After The Little Mermaid came The Princess and the Frog, and by the time that Steve switched it over to Moana, Winnie was napping in the backseat and he could turn the volume down.

“Give me your hand,” Bucky said, switching lanes.

“Huh?” Steve said but held up his hand near Bucky’s face.

Bucky leant forward and pressed a kiss to Steve’s palm. Steve blushed at the simple kiss from his boyfriend and blushed further as Bucky spoke.

“When we get there, we’ll say hello to everyone and then hand off Winnie to Nat so we can go to your old room, drop off our bags and then make out for a few minutes, okay?”

“Okay,” Steve agreed.

“Cool,” Bucky smiled softly. “And Nat can have Winnie first thing in the morning for breakfast and ballet, and we can have some awesome morning sex.”

“I’m down for that.”

“You’ve never been able to resist my charms,” Bucky smirked.

Steve went to open his mouth to protest but then realised that anything he said in defence of himself would be a lie and Bucky was one hundred per cent correct.

Bucky noticed and laughed loudly, then quickly clamped his mouth shut, looking back at Winnie to make sure she hadn’t woken up. She just shifted in her seat, looking adorable.

“So, how was work?” Bucky asked.

Steve shrugged. “Better than yesterday.”

“I don’t think yesterday is a good thing to compare any workday too. It sets the bar very low.”

“Well, today was really good. My new second in command is great, and the rest of the team seem nice. I really like the actual work I’m doing. Leading a team without necessarily leading them, if that makes sense?”

“Yeah,” Bucky smiled softly at him. “You’re like the coach of the football team, but not the captain of the team.”

“Exactly,” Steve gushed because that was the perfect analogy. “I’ve been the captain before but now I’m the coach. Perfect.”

“Thank you, I am,” Bucky said, jokingly.

“You are,” Steve said, seriously.

Bucky groaned. “Jesus, I want to jump your bones right here.”

“You're cheating on me with the Lord’s son, Buck?!”

Bucky huffed. “Never mind, I don’t want to anymore.”

Steve laughed and leant over, pressing a quick kiss to Bucky’s shoulder. 

They continued the rest of the drive to the Compound trading stories of their days. Winnie woke up a few minutes before they arrived at the Compound, demanding the music be turned up. Bucky parked in the residential underground car park and got Winnie out of her car seat as Steve grabbed their bags and held them over his shoulders.

They walked to the elevator and Winnie started talking loudly to Friday as she took them to the Common Room. When the doors opened, Nat was waiting there with her arms open. Winnie rushed to her and jumped into her arms, laughing as Nat spun them around. 

The rest of the Avenger that were scattered around the room walked over and gave Bucky and Steve hugs, before introducing themselves to Winnie. She took an immediate liking to Sam, asking to see his shield, much to the amusement of Steve and annoyance of Bucky.

She also took a real liking to Pepper, asking politely to put her hands on Pepper’s now showing stomach, asking a million questions about the baby. Pepper took her hand, and Natasha took the other, leading her over to the couch where Peter was holding back an eager Tony.

“Barnes,” Sam said, tilting his beer bottle to Bucky. 

“Wilson,” Bucky huffed, watching as Bruce and Clint sat down around the others, all wide eyes at Winnie as she told them a story almost as if they had never seen a kid before.

“How’s that office plant coming along?”

Bucky suddenly snapped his head around to face Sam and pointed a finger menacingly at him, his face twisting into a scowl. Steve watched, standing between them, with wide eyes.

“Shut the fuck up, Wilson.”

Sam held up his hands in surrender. “It was an honest question.”

Bucky stalked towards Sam, pushing Steve out of the way to stand toe to toe with him, face still set in a scowl as he stared Sam down, whose lips were twitching as he fought off a smile.

“You know exactly how my office plant is coming along, so don’t play dumb with me.”

Steve was so, so, very confused. For starters, he had no idea that Bucky had an office plant and that it would be such a touchy subject. And secondly, how did Sam know about this office plant before Steve did? Steve felt like that would have been an important part of Bucky’s retelling of his day, especially if he was so emotional about it.

Steve was so focused on the office plant that he only noticed that Bucky and Sam were laughing and hugging when Bucky pushed him lightly on the shoulder.

“Stevie?”

“Huh?” Steve asked, intelligently, as he wondered what type of office plant Bucky had.

“I was asking you if you wanted to head to your room now to drop off the bags?” Bucky said, wiggling his eyebrows, arms still slung around Sam’s shoulders whose own hand was resting on Bucky’s waist.

“Weren’t you-” Steve asked, pointing between his smiling two best friends. “Weren’t you about to kill Sam, Buck?”

“This guy?” Bucky cried out, tightening his arm around Sam’s shoulder and forcing him to bend down slightly so Bucky could kiss him on the hair. “Nah, not this guy.”

“But the office plant…?” Steve trailed off, unsure.

Suddenly all happiness drained from Bucky’s face and he pointed menacingly at Steve this time. “Don’t mention the office plant, Steve.”

“Fucking hell,” Steve held up his hands. “I won’t mention the fucking office plant ever fucking again.”

“What did I do to deserve this guy, huh, Sam?” Bucky said, his arm dropping around from Sam’s shoulders to slither around Steve’s waist, Steve’s arm moving automatically to do the same. 

“Definitely nothing to do with the office plant, because I tell you, you deserve nothing from that,” Sam smirked.

Bucky growled and took a step forward, but Steve tightened his arm around Bucky’s waist, stopping the man from moving. “Bags, Buck, remember?”

“I won’t forget this, birds for brains,” Bucky said, making the `I’m watching you’ gesture with his hand.

Sam laughed and flipped Bucky off before turning around and going to sit with the others. Bucky watched him go with a smile and a huff, before turning around and picking up Winnie’s bag and stepping into the waiting elevator.

Steve picked up his and Bucky’s bags, utterly confused about Bucky and Sam’s relationship. At one moment, they want to kill each other and the next they’re best buddies.

“Do I even want to know?” Steve asked, facing the doors of the elevator as they closed.

“Nope.”

The rest of the night went really well. They had a big feast of Indian food, laughing over dinner. Winnie was a massive hit. She didn’t seem all that fascinated that she was eating dinner with the Avengers, mainly only star-struck around Pepper, Nat and Sam, much to everyone's amusement. She was polite, funny and the wonderful little girl that Steve knew she could be, and the rest of his family were amazing with her.

They engaged her in conversations and listened with full attention when she spoke. They encouraged her in their board games and listened to her horrible rendition on How Far I’ll Go from Moana. And they all gave a standing ovation when she and Nat performed a few ballet skills they had been practising. 

The night was a resounding success and Winnie’s fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Steve’s life had never felt so complete.

They ventured into some more adult games once Winnie was down, bringing out Cards Against Humanity and the booze. Bucky clicked with them all as he had previously, but he snuggled with Steve on the couch for the remainder of the night, ensuring Steve felt warm for the whole time.

The next day was brilliant too. Nat had agreed to have breakfast with Winnie and spend the morning doing ballet with her so Steve and Bucky could have some mindblowing sex. And mind-blowing sex they did have.

When they had showered and deemed themselves presentable, they went to Nat’s studio and watched from the sidelines as Winnie danced and Nat instructed. It was beautiful to see. Both because Steve loved to watch Winnie and Nat’s relationship flourish, but also because Nat looked so at ease and comfortable when she danced.

As Bucky made Winnie a late lunch, Nat took Steve aside so they could talk.

“Maria called me.”

Steve groaned and let himself fall back the few inches to the wall behind him, hitting his head dramatically. “Of course she did.”

“We’re good parents, okay? We care about our son.”

Steve rolled his eyes. Nat whacked him on the arm. 

“She told me what happened.”

Steve raised his eyebrows.

“It was the right choice,” Nat said slowly. “Those three are the worst humankind have to offer, and you did the right thing-”

“But.”

“-but, Maria is right. It’s a different ball game with SHIELD, and you know that.”

Steve sighed and closed his eyes. “I know, I know. I just thought it might be different after Hydra and everything.”

Natasha placed a delicate hand on Steve’s elbow and squeezed lightly. “It’s all the same, and it will always be the same. They aren’t in it for humanity, Steve, like we are. It’s about the intel and the power and the weapons. Sure, right now they might be fighting the good fight, but you and I both know how easily that can turn into the bad fight.”

“Are you trying to get me to quit my job?” Steve squinted at her.

She flicked her hair over the shoulder and smiled at him. “Course not, Rogers. Just reminding you to keep your ears and eyes open, and that it’s okay to not be okay there. You can find somewhere else. We’ve got your back.”

“Thank you, Nat,” he said, kissing her lightly on the forehead. “I’m very lucky to have you in my life.”

“I know, Steve,” she smirked.

***

For the next few weeks, Steve kept his ears and eyes opened at work.

Within the next few days, after the Avengers catch up, Steve came to realise that he was right with the initial assessment that he enjoyed the work. Something was inspiring and invigorating about bestowing wisdom and coaching people, becoming their mentor and identifying their weakness to improve, not belittle.

The rest of Steve’s STRIKE Team seemed like really good people who were exceptional at their jobs. They all responded to Steve’s leadership and worked well together. It was obvious they had previously worked together, their banter something that caused Steve to feel a wall between them, but he understood. He didn’t necessarily want to get close with them anyways.

But no matter how much he enjoyed the work he did, it didn’t stop the feeling of unease creeping over him like a second skin whenever he stepped into the building. He kept his ears and eyes open, just like Nat said, and catalogued everything that made him feel uncomfortable. His gut was right nearly one hundred per cent of the time, and it wasn’t telling him good things about his work.

Winnie went back to school on the Monday of that week. Maria had been pretty flexible with his time at work. His days didn’t start until the school drop off so he could help Bucky get Winnie to school, and on the days that Bucky worked later, Steve’s training would finish and he could go home to pick up Winnieand his team did their desk and paperwork.

Any other day he would get home in time for dinner with Bucky and Winnie, and on Wednesdays, he finished just before dinner, which meant that Bucky and Steve’s date nights were cut a lot shorter than before. Becca still picked Winnie up on Wednesday’s like before, and Bucky just spent alone time either at the gym or in Steve’s apartment.

Steve thought that was really good for Bucky, and Bucky seemed to enjoy it too.

It was on the second day of May, just two weeks after his first day of work, that shit really hit the fan.

It started at work. One member of his team was late for their first session, so he had to make her do fifty push-ups as punishment. It left him a little irritated for the remainder of the session and when they had their morning break, Steve overheard that member shit-talking about himself and SHIELD in general.

He listened, as he drank from his water bottle, that she was only here because it was the quickest way to the top. She was capable and talented enough to be promoted through the ranks, quickly, and take over from Maria and Fury, who she described as old, unintelligent and not capable of the job.

Steve could, in an abstract way, see where she was coming from. Yes, Fury and Maria had been at the head and didn’t realise that Hydra was under their noses, but to be fair, no one did. Hydra was so unexpected it was earth-shattering shocking. Not even this woman could have been able to find it out, despite her good shot. 

And the whole talk just made something flare in Steve’s chest. Where was the loyalty? Yes, Steve understood having a critical viewpoint on your leaders and not following them blindly into battle. He advocated for that, hell, he was the spokesperson for that, but there had to be a base of loyalty somewhere, and it seemed this woman had none. Not even to her team, as she started to drag other members and Masters, one of her commanding officers.

This was another example, one of many that Steve had witnessed over the past week, of someone hired by SHIELD that Steve would never have even looked at, knowing what he had learnt. It was just like the guy whose office was across from Steve that make a crass sexual remark about a female coworker, or the woman who always seemed to be near the security monitors.

If Steve was in charge, he wouldn’t have let any of it fly. It made that coil of dread stir in his stomach again, not knowing who he was working with or what they were working for.

The clearance levels were back again, and we found himself against some roadblocks when wantning to find information. He was being kept in the dark about things, just like Project Insight, and it felt very much like the spy game he detested.

He loved his actual job, but he wasn’t sure if he liked the people he worked with or for.

Steve filed away his evidence in the back of his mind, making a mental note to sit down with Bucky, Sam and Nat to talk about it. He wanted to talk about it and communicate in a healthy way instead of retreat into his own head.

Steve didn’t consider that as shit hitting the fan, more like tripping over a rug. Shit hit the fan with Winnie when he collected her from school.

He was running a little late, ten to twenty minutes at the most. There were still some parents mingling around and chatting out the front of the school when he got there, so he breathed a sigh of relief that Winnie wasn’t left alone.

She was sitting on a bench, feet dangling and chin in her hand and glaring at him as he walked over.

“Hey, sunshine, sorry I’m late,” Steve said, smiling his brightest smile at her to try and counteract the harsh glare she was giving him. “Ready to go?”

“Why are you late?” she said, jumping from the seat and completely ignoring the hand he held out for her to take.

Steve tried not to acknowledge the hurt that blossomed in his chest, but he couldn’t help the sting of it as he took his hand back. “Work and then traffic. You were okay, though, right?”

“Work?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said softly, still trying to figure out why she was so cold towards him all of a sudden. “Remember how I told you a few weeks ago that I was going back to work?”

“I remember,” Winnie grumbled. 

They walked in silence for a few minutes until Steve spoke up again.

“I really am sorry for being late, Winnie. I’ll try better next time, I promise.”

She looked up at him angrily. “Let’s go get ice cream so you can apologise better.”

Steve scoffed loudly, and Winnie’s face scrunched up more. 

“I’m sorry, what was that, Winnie?”

“I want ice cream!” She said loudly, stamping her foot down, her little hands curled into little fists. “Because you were late!”

He gently pushed her into a little alcove so they weren’t in peoples way and bent down so he was eye level with her. “We are not going to get ice cream. We only get ice cream on special occasions and you already know that your dad doesn’t like that.”

To Steve’s utter surprise and shock, Winnie stuck her tongue out at him and walked around him, sprinting down the street.

She only got a few metres before Steve’s reflexes kicked in and he took after her, quickly grabbing her backpack so she was forced to stop, nearly falling over if it wasn’t for Steve steading her.

“Steve!” She screamed and Steve winced as people around them stared at them. “I want ice cream!”

“No!” Steve shouted over the top of her. “Winnie, what the hell? We aren’t getting ice cream.”

Winnie sobbed loudly, stopping her struggling against Steve’s hold. Steve quickly scooped her up into his arms and was shocked again when she started to hit and kick him. He had gotten a lot worse physical injuries, but nothing had ever hurt as much as Winnie hitting him.

“I hate you!” She screamed suddenly, the sound deafening in Steve’s ears.

“Winnie,” Steve gasped, his heart breaking in his chest. “You don’t mean that. Don’t say that.”

“I do! I hate you!”

She spent the rest of the walk home squirming in his arms, hitting and kicking every available part of skin she could find as Steve held on tightly, trying desperately not to cry, anger and hurt simmering.

As soon as he opened the door he dropped her to the ground where she landed on her feet, throwing her backpack onto the couch and racing into her room.

“Put your things away _now_!” Steve shouted after her before hearing her bedroom door slam shut. “And do not slam doors in this household, do you understand?”

Steve only heard a scream in response and he had to grit his teeth so he wouldn’t scream back.

Fuck, he loved this kid with his whole entire being but he was furious and hurt to the core. He and Winnie had had fights before, as everyone does with their kid. Times where she hadn’t listened to him when he asked her to do something or tried to cross the road when the light hadn’t turned green. All he had to do was explain what she did wrong and tell her how to do better in the future with a firm but kind voice and a serious face.

They had never had a fight like this. Winnie had never said that she hated Steve before, and Steve felt like he was going to throw up.

Surely this can’t be all because he was late, right? There had to be something more. Was she being bullied at school? Did someone hurt her? Had Steve unknowingly hurt her? God, the thought made him want to gouge his eyes out and split open his chest to cut his heart into pieces.

He decided that they both needed to cool off. He grabbed Winnie’s backpack and placed it on the kitchen stool before he grabbed some cleaning supplies and started to aggressively clean Bucky’s apartment, tears slowly falling down his cheeks. 

Winnie came out at one stage and walked straight to the fruit bowl on the kitchen bench, taking an apple and completely ignoring Steve before she went back into her room. Steve didn’t acknowledge her. 

When Bucky opened the door, Steve dropped the mop and quickly ran into his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around him as he cried into Bucky’s shoulder.

“Steve,” Bucky said, arm quickly coming around to pull Steve tighter against him. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“She hates me,” Steve nearly wailed. “She hates me, she hates me.”

“Who hates you, Steve? Who?” Bucky said, attempting to soothe Steve by rubbing his back.

“Winnie.”

“Winnie?” Bucky gasped, hand stilling. “Winnie said that?”

Steve pulled back and covered his face with his hands, not even daring to look at Bucky because his heart would surely shatter even further. “I was ten minutes late picking her up and she was so angry with me. I tried to apologise and she wanted us to go get ice cream to make up for it, but I told her no and she completely lost it! She was screaming in the middle of the street and when I tried to tell her no again, she told me she hated me.”

“Oh no,” Bucky said, face falling and wrapping his arm around Steve again. “Steve, I need you to listen to me very carefully. Winnie does not hate you, okay? She just said it because she was hurting over something. She doesn’t mean it at all.”

“How do you know?” Steve sighed, still feeling the gaping hole in his chest where his heart used to be. 

“She’s said it to me dozens of times, Steve,” Bucky sighed. “It doesn’t hurt any less when she says it, but she doesn’t mean it as you or I would. She’s just angry or hurt or scared, and she takes it out with her words when she shouldn’t.”

Steve hiccupped, a little soothed by Bucky’s words. “Are you sure?”

Bucky nodded and gave him a quick kiss. “I’ll go talk to her now, okay? You start on dinner.”

“Oh,” Steve blinked. He had been so focused on getting his anger and hurt out through cleaning he had completely forgotten that he needed to cook them dinner.

Bucky unpacked his briefcase and then gave Steve a small smile before going to Winnie’s room. He heard him knock gently, his voice soft before the door closed behind him.

Steve put away the cleaning supplies quickly and then channelled all his anger, hurt and confusion into cooking dinner.

He was just about to put the pizza into the oven when Bucky came out into the kitchen, smiling softly at Steve and holding the hand of Winnie. Her face was red from crying and she was hiding behind Bucky’s legs, looking down at her feet.

Steve put the pizza into the oven, the door closing with a soft noise that echoed around the empty apartment. Bucky nodded his head to the couch, so Steve followed over and sat down on one end, Winnie on the other and Bucky on the coffee table in front of them.

“Okay, Steve,” Bucky said, using a calm and friendly voice. “Winnie and I had a talk about what happened today. Winnie, do you want to explain from your side?”

Winnie’s lip trembled and suddenly Steve had an armful of Winnie as she leapt across the couch and threw her arms around his neck, sobbing into his shoulder. “I don’t hate you! I don’t hate you!”

Steve immediately wrapped his arms around her and held her tighter to him, trying to soothe her with his words and rubbing his hand up and down her back. He was very overwhelmed but he pushed his own feelings and worries aside to calm down Winnie.

After a few minutes her sobs calmed down and she pulled back, wiping her face on Steve’s shirt. He wasn’t mad. Her blue eyes were wide as saucers, tears pooling in them, and Steve’s heart just about broke again.

“I was just sad,” Winnie said, all in a jumble but Steve was used to her quick talking and was able to translate. “You weren’t here like before and I thought you didn’t love me.”

“Oh my gosh,” Steve whispered, wrapping her in his arms again. “Winnie, I love you so goddamn much, okay? You’re my favourite person in the whole entire world and I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I love you, sunshine, please never think otherwise.”

Bucky patted Winnie on the head before rubbing his eyes. 

“Then-then why are you not here?”

“Work, baby,” Steve said, pulling away from her so he could cup her cheeks and wipe away the tears falling from her eyes. “I’m back at work, remember.”

“Why?” Winnie whined.

And then Steve realised, as he made eye contact with Bucky, where they had fucked up. Bucky had seemed to realise this too when he was talking with Winnie. They had only ever mentioned Steve going back to work in passing but didn’t explain the whens, the wheres and the whys. 

Plus, it was right after the apartment fire. She still would have been a little shaken from that, and then for someone who spends nearly every day with her to disappear without a proper explanation, of course, she was going to react the way she did.

“I’m so sorry we didn’t explain it better, Wins,” Bucky patted the top of her head softly. “But I can explain now if you’d like?”

Winnie nodded and shifted around as Bucky came and sat next to them, Winnie sitting in Steve’s lap and facing the men. Bucky brushed some of Winnie’s hair out of her eyes and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“So, you know how I go to work during the day?” Bucky asked.

Winnie nodded her head, still trembling from her emotions.

“Well, there are lots of reasons why people go to work. For me, I go to work because I have to make money so I can look after you. I gotta pay for the food we eat and the bills, and I have to make enough money so you can go to school and have all the awesome things you do have.”

“And the other reason,” Steve said, squeezing her waist. “is because he loves his job so much. He likes learning about History and teaching other people, yeah? Daddy finds purpose and peace in his job, and not many people are lucky enough to have that.”

“That’s exactly what Steve’s doing. He goes to work to make some money and to find joy. Like you do when you go to ballet with Nat or go to Lucy’s house and play chefs in the backyard.”

“Oh,” Winnie said, scrunching her face up. “So it’s not because you don’t love me?”

“The opposite! I go to work because I love you, sunshine. You inspire me to find happiness and enjoy the things I do, and I want to make the world a better place for you.”

Winnie grinned and titled her head to the side, looking so much like her dad that Steve’s heart constricted. “Well, why didn’t you just say so?”

Steve and Bucky laughed, Bucky reaching forward to tickle underneath Winnie’s arms. She squirmed in Steve’s arms but was giggling, tears drying on her face but a large smile there too.

The oven beeped signalling that the pizzas were ready. Bucky kissed Steve and Winnie on the cheek before getting up and going to take them out. Steve watched him go, but Winnie tapped his cheek, bringing his attention back to her.

“I’m sorry,” Winnie said, looking at him with large puppy eyes. “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings but I didn’t know why you are working. Now I do. And I have never, ever, never, ever hated you. Please forgive me!”

“I forgive you,” Steve said softly, kissing her forehead. “Thank you for apologising.”

“Thank you for loving me.”

“It’s the easiest thing to do, sunshine. I love you.”

Winnie kissed him. “I love you too, Stevie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW (racism/transphobia) SPOILERS: Steve overhears some SHIELD colleges in the locker room disrespecting gender identity and being transphobic towards peoples preferred bathrooms. These same agents then start to talk badly about Sam in regards to being Captain America, black, and representing “American values”. It is implied a white agent is about to call Sam the n-word before Steve angrily steps in, shuts them down and fires them from SHIELD for the transphobic and racist comments made, then blacklists them from every agency in the world.
> 
> i really hope you guys like the direction this is going. steve isn't going to stay at SHIELD forever but it gets him to a place that's perfect for him, please trust me. 
> 
> a little secret: it took me months to write this chapter last year. i struggled with it a lot. at first i planned for bucky and steve to have a massive fight, but i thought that was counter productive on all the grounds they had made regarding healthy communication, but then the light bulb hit. steve and winnie can fight!! same amount of angst but easy resolve :))


	11. Helped me find the sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Carol would be there?” Steve asked, sitting up straighter.
> 
> “Wow,” Tony gasped, and Steve could imagine the look of mock outrage on his face. “You don’t care about my birthday until I mention that Carol fucking Danvers would be there, and now you’re all excited.”
> 
> “It’s Carol fucking Danvers, Tony.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a little short but it's super important!
> 
> title from Seasons in the Sun, Westlife

Winnie is much better the following week with Steve being back at work. Every time she sees him now, she makes sure to tell him that she loves her, and every single time Steve says it back with his heart-melting into a puddle of goo right in his chest. 

It’s also a week of Steve’s gut telling him that he doesn’t want to work for SHIELD again.

It had always been forming, but it just cements itself in his gut until it’s too hard to ignore.

Every day, Bucky asks him how his day at work was and every day Steve can tell him stories of the progress his team is making, a breakthrough he had with a team member, a funny thing that happened on his lunch date with Maria, or the mountain load of paperwork he has to do. But following that, there’s always stories of a co-worker rubbing Steve the wrong way, or a higher up withholding information from him, or one of his team commenting that they missed Thompson.

Every time Bucky’s brow would furrow and he would ask if that’s the kind of environment Steve wanted to work in. Every time Steve said he wasn’t sure.

A week and a half after the fight with Winnie the rest of the Avengers found out that he was working for SHIELD again. His phone was non stop blowing up and after a few annoyed looks from his team, he silenced it and shoved it in his locker.

When he picked Winnie up and she was occupied with another painting, he sat down and went through the messages. Most of it was his family cursing him out, stating their anger or disappointment or worry, and then backpedalling and asking if he was okay. Peter sent him a meme about communists which made him laugh, so he made sure to send one back about Nazis. 

He just sent a message to Pepper reassuring her that he was okay when his phone came to life in his hands, an ugly selfie that he and Tony took crowding his screen.

Steve sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose, and answered the phone.

“Ah, Stevie-boy, I didn’t think you’d pick up.”

“Then why’d you call, Tony?”

Tony sniffed and Steve settled back into the couch, knowing this was going to be a long one. “It’s my birthday next week.”

Steve’s lips twitched. “Yes, I’ve been getting daily reminders for a few weeks now every morning thanks to Friday.”

“I wanted to talk about what you’re doing next Friday. Pep and I were thinking we’d move the Avengers catch up from this Friday to next, plus Carol said she was just doing something with the Kree or Star Trek and said she could make it next week.”

“Carol would be there?” Steve asked, sitting up straighter.

“Wow,” Tony gasped, and Steve could imagine the look of mock outrage on his face. “You don’t care about my birthday until I mention that Carol fucking Danvers would be there, and now you’re all excited.”

“It’s Carol fucking Danvers, Tony.”

Tony barked a laugh. “True.”

“Well,” Steve said, looking out to Winnie who was waving her half-finished painting at him. “I’ll have to talk to Bucky and see if we can get a sitter for Winnie, but we should be able to make it.”

“Princess can come too, if she wants,” Tony said, and Steve’s insides turned to goo that one of his closest friends loved Winnie as much as he did. “That kid is fucking awesome and I love her company.”

“I’ll talk to Buck.”

“Speaking of talking,” Tony said slowly and Steve sighed, sinking back into the couch because he could feel the intervention coming from a mile away. “Let’s talk about your job.”

“Was the only reason you called me was to talk about my job?”

“And the birthday thing too!”

Steve stayed silent and Tony let it drag out for a total of five seconds before he had to break it.

“Steve! Come on, it’s me. You don’t have to bullshit, just tell me what you’re feeling and I will give you my honest advice.”

That was true. Tony was very blunt, but it was sometimes exactly what Steve needed. Nat was very good at hiding her thoughts and feelings, and while Steve has gotten better at reading her, she can still hold so much from him. He can always be honest with Sam, but Sam can sometimes just be so nice and understanding that it grates on Steve. He loves them, but Tony is an honest motherfucker and that might be what Steve needs.

“I don’t know,” Steve confessed, hand coming up to cradle his face. “I love the actual work I’m doing. Bucky used the analogy that I’m the coach of a football team, and I really like being the coach. It’s so different from being captain, but-”

“It’s SHIELD,” Tony sighed. “I get that, Steve, I really do. I remember that it felt like pulling teeth or having a million eyes on you before the Avengers went independent.”

“Right! I have no clue about the people I’m working with, or who I’m working for. I had to kick three racist and transphobic assholes out on their asses because SHIELD had hired them and not checked to see if they were decent human beings.”

Tony sighed. 

“And once this training program has finished with these kids, where are they going to go and what are they going to do? Am I training an elite task force that’s going to be protecting the country’s interest, and by that, I mean destroying towns and people’s lives for some fucking oil? I love Maria and Fury, and I respect the hell out of them, but it just doesn’t sit right with me.”

“Steve,” Tony said, serious with all funny business gone. “They were built for this, and you were not. And I’m not talking about the serum, but you to your core. You aren’t the type of person who can work without all the details, especially if it comes to life-threatening or world-saving details. You never have been, since we started on this hell path, and you never will be.”

“You really think that?”

“You already know that Steve, so it doesn’t really matter what I think. You can find the type of work you're doing elsewhere, and still contribute to the world the way that you can, and want to. It doesn’t have to be with SHIELD.”

Steve rested his head on the back of the couch and looked up at the ceiling, a smile gracing his lips as he thanked the universe that Tony Stark was in his life. 

“Thank you, Tony. I think I agree. There are just too many unknowns and not enough trust or belief in humanity. I want to keep fighting the good fight, but I can’t do that with the Avengers or SHIELD.”

Tony hummed. “Yes, but where can you?”

The silence stretched out between them as Steve’s mind raced to find a solution to Tony’s question, but Tony being Tony had to break the silence. 

“Well, I can certainly picture you being one of those suburban dads that coaches their daughter’s soccer or baseball team. You can grow a full beard and with those grandpa cardigans you wear, all them calling you coach in their little tiny baby voices.”

Steve laughed. “That would be the life.”

“It sure would,” Tony agreed, and Steve didn’t mention the tone of wistfulness from the other man, sure that he was imagining that with his own baby soon to arrive. 

***

The next day, exactly the one month anniversary of Steve’s first day at SHIELD, Steve decides to talk with Bucky on their date night. 

Bucky decided to stay later at work until Steve was able to clock off, so Steve picks Bucky up from work and they go to Steve’s apartment to get changed into some exercise gear, then hit the gym for an hour. 

Whilst there was no way that Bucky would be able to keep up with Steve, let alone with only one arm, Steve liked the workout. He got to show off and then appreciate his boyfriend showing off too. They showered when they got back to Steve’s place, which came with a lot of distractions, got dressed and went to the greasy, well-loved diner around the corner that they went to on their first-ever date night.

They ordered some food and got a strawberry milkshake to share, talking shit like they usually do. It wasn’t until the food arrived that Steve broached the subject of his work.

“So, Tony called me yesterday and we spoke.”

“Oh!” Bucky’s eyes lit up as he pointed a fork to Steve's face, a piece of waffle dangling at the end. “Pepper sent me the email about his birthday but I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to Becca about possibly sitting Winnie.”

Steve nodded. “Yes, but we can talk about that later. Tony and I actually spoke about work?”

Bucky raised his eyebrows and put the piece of waffle in his mouth, giving Steve his undivided attention. 

“He asked me some questions about the work I was doing and how I was feeling about it. He gave me some advice. He thinks I’m not the type of person to work with SHIELD type people or protocol. He thinks I can find the same type of work I do but in a better place.”

“And what do you think?”

“I think he’s right.”

Bucky gave him a small smile and put down his fork, squeezing Steve’s hand. “I think he’s right too.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

“So, now I have to quit my job.”

Bucky grinned. “Yes, yes, you do.”

***

Steve goes into Maria’s office the next day and one look at his face and she’s sighing, gesturing for him to sit down.

“So, you’re quitting.”

“It just isn’t for me,” Steve confessed, nodding.

“It never has been, Steve,” Maria said softly. “I knew you wouldn’t be here long, but I think you needed this to help you figure out what you actually need. Have you done that?”

“I think so.”

“I’m happy for you,” Maria stood up and came around, giving him a hug, before they both sat down again. “Now, what’s this I’m hearing about Carol being back on Earth next week?”

***

Bucky makes the unprecedented decision to leave Winnie with Steve for an entire night, and instead go out with friends.

Well, technically they’re Steve’s friends, but he’s starting to think that they’ve become his friends too.

Steve eyes him warily when he tells him this but is happy that Bucky’s going out and trying to reclaim his life outside of child and work. Plus, Bucky knows that Steve loves every second he spends with Winnie and a whole night to themselves is gold for Steve. 

It’s the Friday of the usual Avengers catch up, and the day after Steve officially handed in his resignation. He still has a week or two of work whilst they hand his job over to someone else, and Bucky’s nearly officially off for the year, only faculty meetings and such on Monday.

He meets Sam, Nat and Clint at a bar in Brooklyn, a few subway stops from Bucky’s apartment.

It’s not a fancy bar, or a low quality one, but the perfect amount of both that you can smell the booze but feel the memories and laughter in the air. They’re already there when Bucky arrives, sitting in a red-lined booth near the back with the perfect view to all the major exits.

Bucky wouldn’t be surprised if they each had three or more guns on them at any given moment.

Sam gets up and gives Bucky a warm hug, patting him on the back.

“Bucky, man, please tell our friend Natasha here that The Vampire Diaries are better than Twilight.”

Bucky laughs and takes off his jacket, sitting down next to Sam in the booth, Nat and Clint on the other side facing them. “And what does Clint think?”

“Clint doesn’t have an opinion,” Clint says, pushing the straw in his very bright and colourful drink around. “Clint doesn’t want to hurt Sam’s feelings or die a very painful death at the hands of Natasha.”

Bucky grins and shrugs. “Well, Bucky is scared of neither and agrees with Sam.”

Bucky yelped as a foot connected with his shin, a guilty-looking Natasha shrugging at him when he glared at her.

“Want to order?” she says and gestures to the menus of the table.

Bucky huffs but looks at the menu. They catch each other up on their lives as they decide on their food and Bucky decides on a mocktail, Clint following Bucky to the bar to order with large hand gestures and sound effects to accompany his retelling of a mission they went on last week.

Bucky enjoys the story immensely, and whilst Clint makes it much more comedic that it was, he has the very distinct feeling of relief that Steve doesn’t do these types of things anymore. Bucky isn’t sure if he could take that on top of everything else in his life.

They get back into the booth and someone mentions Bucky’s office plant, and they’re swept into a conversation that leads to more conversations filled with cursing, laughing, making fun of each other but always having a good time.

Bucky felt so included in their conversations as they describe their inside jokes or previous stories that he didn’t understand. They listened to him talk, joining in with funny one-liners and giving him their attention. 

They’re great people and Bucky feels great being around them. He’s proud of himself for going out and making connections with these people, and he’s proud of Steve for sticking with these people.

By the time Bucky gets up and goes to the bathroom after their food is finished, his sides ache with laughter and he feels like their friends without Steve in the middle.

He comes back to the table a few minutes later to see all three of them in a serious-looking conversation.

“Interrupting anything important?” Bucky asks, mildly curious and sitting back down. 

“Just guessing on the real reason you wanted to come out tonight,” Nat shrugs, no shame. “I mean, I’m enjoying this and would love to do it again, but we know you have an ulterior motive.”

Bucky held up his hand. “Guilty.”

“Everything okay?” Sam asked, face softening as he pats Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky waves the concern away. “No, things are pretty okay. It’s just that I’m worried about Steve and work. He resigned yesterday.”

Nat nodded. “Yeah, he said so this morning. Is he taking it well? Are you?”

“Yes,” Bucky nodded. “I think it was the right choice for Steve. I’m worried about the next step.”

“Ah, I see,” Clint nodded sagely, before shrugging and taking a large slurp of his cocktail. “Welp, I have no clue.”

“He wants to keep doing good work,” Bucky explains. “I honestly think he could do that with anything. Volunteering or going back to school to become a teacher, or whatever, really, but I think he misses the edge of the fight.”

“Understandable. It’s been in his life for a very long time.” Nat shrugged.

“Yeah. So, he can’t go back to the Avengers and he can’t go back to SHIELD. Where next?”

“Any intelligence agency would be just like SHIELD,” Sam said, listing them off on his fingers. “CIA, FBI, DIA, etcetera.”

“I figured,” Bucky sighed.

Nat eyes him curiously and looked like she was about to say something before a bartender brought over Bucky’s refill of his virgin margarita. 

Bucky thanked him and gladly clinked his glass with Clint’s, popping the bright pink umbrella behind his ear before turning back to Nat.

“We have been thinking about this,” Nat says slowly. “And it’s all come together at the perfect time.”

“Thinking about what?”

“How Steve can come back to Avengers without it ending up with him jumping out of planes without parachutes!” Clint cheered. 

***

Steve and Winnie had a spa night when Bucky decided to go out with friends with full facials and manicures. Steve was so pumped, both for himself because he got to spend more time with Winnie, and for Bucky. It was a big step for his boyfriend, and Steve couldn’t be prouder.

The next Friday they’re packing their overnight bags again and crowding into Bucky’s car, heading to the Compound for Tony’s birthday and then Winnie’s ballet lessons the next day. 

“Okay,” Steve says, as they’re about twenty minutes out from the Compound. “Tonight’s going to be a little louder and busier than last time we were here, okay, Winnie?”

She nodded her head and poked out her tongue at him, which he did back to her through the rearview mirror. 

“My friend Scott is bringing his daughter Cassie, and she’s a little older than you but she’s told me she really wants to play with you. Think you can make a new friend?”

Winnie rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips in her booster seat. “Steve, I’m awesome at making new friends. I did that with you!”

Steve laughed and he could see from the corner of his eye that Bucky was grinning. “That’s right, sunshine. You’re so smart.”

Winnie huffed but turned her attention out the window as they drew closer and closer to the Compound. They got to the security gate, Bucky rolling out the window and sending a charming smile to the security guard.

The man waved them through and Bucky slowly drove down the driveway towards the residential part of the Compound.

“That security guy looks just like our neighbour,” Bucky mused, waiting for the garage door to open to the underground car park.

“Right!” Steve said. “I swear I see that guy everywhere.”

Bucky laughed and parked the car. They got their bags, well Steve got their bags and Bucky got Winnie, who promptly demanded to be held as they got into the elevator, where Friday greeted them and took them to the Common Room. 

Steve braced himself as the doors slid open, revealing dozens of people mid-conversation that all turned as the ding of the elevators sounded out, stopping their conversations before all jumping up and descending on them like a gaggle of geese.

Tony was the first there and quickly wrapped the three of them into a group hug, forcing Steve to drop their bags and squeezing them, declaring that the Rogers-Barnes clan was here. Steve tried not to blush at many eyebrows raised at Tony’s comment.

Next were Nat, Sam, Clint, Wanda, Bruce, Vision, and Thor as well as Pepper, Peter and Rhodey. Then Steve had to start introducing Bucky and Winnie to Maria, Fury, Scott, Hope, Cassie, T’Challa, Stephen, Shuri, Happy, Harley Keener, and May Parker. 

Then Steve saw a flash of blonde hair and a smirk and he quickly pushed Scott to the side who yelled “Hey!” before Steve wrapped his arms around a beaming Carol.

Carol laughed and didn’t protest as Steve picked her up and spun her in a circle. He set her down and pulled back, grinning at a smiling Carol.

“Hey there, Rogers.”

“Hey yourself, Danvers.”

Steve felt Winnie tug on his jeans and he stepped back from Carol, sweeping Winnie up into her arms, where she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her cheek against Steve’s face.

“Who are you? Winnie asked, Bucky coming over to stand next to them.

Steve’s jaw dropped a little at the blunt question but Carol laughed and stuck her hand out for Winnie to shake. “Carol Danvers, ma’am, nice to meet you. And you are?”

“Winnie,” Winnie said, tightening her hold on Steve. “Steve’s best friend.”

Bucky hid his laughter into Steve’s shoulder but Steve couldn’t stop the blush from flaming his cheek as Steve realised that Winnie was jealous of Carol. God, that’s adorable. 

Carol seemed to notice as well if her sparkling eyes were any indication. “Well, you are very lucky, but I bet Steve is even luckier that you’re _his_ best friend.”

That seemed to please Winnie immensely who nodded and wiggled in Steve’s arm until he set her down. 

She smiled up at Carol. “You’re cool and I wanna talk to you but I’m going to go play with my new friend Cassie first. Bye, Dad and Steve!” Then she took Cassie’s hand and they were off flying down the halls to the playroom Tony had set up for them, Scott calling out to Friday to keep them updated on the girls.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said, honestly shocked. “That-that was-”

“So like Winnie?” Bucky asked, bumping his shoulder to Steve’s before sticking out his hand for Carol to shake. “Hi, I’m Bucky Barnes.”

Carol shook Bucky’s hand and watched them with a knowing look on her face. “Carol Danvers, a pleasure to meet you.”

“I think the pleasure is mine,” Bucky said, slipping his arm around Steve’s waist. “Stevie here talks about you all the time so it’s a great honour to meet the person my boyfriend never shuts up about.”

Carol’s eyebrows were raising and her smirk was growing and Steve hated that look. “I’m sorry!” He gushed. “She’s just so cool and I respect her a lot, okay?”

Carol forcibly schooled her features into a flat look, and she nodded at Steve. “Thank you, that means a lot, Stevie.”

Steve blushed and Bucky cackled at his side, removing his arm from Steve and instead wrapped it around Carol’s shoulders as they started to talk a mile a minute about the best ways to make Steve blush, walking over to the drinks table.

Steve watched them go, a warm glow in his chest but a sinking feeling in his stomach, when Sam clapped him on the shoulder. 

Steve turned to face his friend who was watching Bucky and Carol laugh. “That was a mistake, buddy. They’re going to ruin your life.”

Steve pouted and watched the two of them look at him before starting to laugh again. “And I thought Bucky and Nat were going to be bad.”

“I admit,” Nat said, coming out of nowhere and making the two men jump. She was eyeing Carol with an intensity that suggested that she was an enemy to beat. “Carol is on another level.”

“Yeah,” Steve sighed, deflating. “But she’s so cool.”

Nat and Sam laughed and left to sit with Bruce, leaving Steve to trail after his boyfriend and his new best friend. 

The rest of the night was amazing. Steve eventually managed to take their bags to their rooms and then returned with Tony’s present. Winnie had drawn him a series of pictures, Steve had gotten him some really bad dad joke t-shirts and Bucky bought him a book with advice on how to stay sober in fatherhood.

“I know you’ve been sober for close to a decade,” Bucky said quietly to Tony who was gripping the book hard. “But being a dad is so hard and you never know. It might help, it might not, but I thought you would appreciate it.”

“I do,” Tony choked out and wrapped Bucky in a tight hug, kissing his temple. He pulled back and quickly wiped his eyes. “Right, I’m going to go make you a super cool robot arm to work through my emotions, I’ll be back soon.”

And then Tony disappeared for thirty minutes before Pepper had to go and wrangle him out of the lab. 

Bucky and Steve moved from people to people and swapped stories and jokes, telling them how they met and got together, explaining that Winnie doesn’t know yet and everything else under the sun. Sometimes they’d be split up, across the room talking to different people but it didn’t stop Steve’s eyes from finding the other man every minute or so.

Winnie and Cassie came out every now and then to show their dads something but stuck around for cake and the happy birthday song. They played a bit with the older kids like Shuri, Harley and Peter, but eventually, it was time for them to go to sleep. Scott took Cassie around the room first so she could say goodnight to everyone, Bucky following suit a few minutes later with Winnie.

Steve was sitting down on the couch with the majority of the group, some others in the kitchen getting drinks when Bucky walked through with Winnie. Steve made to get up but Bucky shook his head.

“I’ve got her, Stevie. I’ll tell Friday to get you when she’s ready for her goodnight kisses.”

“Okay,” Steve said, relaxing back into the couch, Wanda on one side and May on the other. He blew Winnie a kiss and she giggled. “See you soon, sunshine. Be good for dad, okay?”

“Love you!” Winnie said before rushing off to the elevator.

“Love you too!” Steve called out and then turned back to Bucky, who was leaning closer for a kiss. Steve gave it to him, and the room filled with some quiet wolf whistles and Sam telling them to get a room.

“We do have one, Sam,” Bucky gave Steve a harder kiss and pulled back, smirking. “And you’re very lucky we don’t share a wall with you because you wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.”

The room woo'd and ah'd as Sam flipped him off and Steve fought a blush. Bucky sauntered over to the elevator and took Winnie’s door, shooting Steve a wink before the doors closed. Steve watched them close with a smile before turning back around to see all of his friends looking at him, varying expressions including gigantic smiles, wiggling eyebrows and smirks plastered on their faces. 

“What?” Steve asked, defensive, but a smile still gracing his lips as he took a sip from the Asgardian mead that Thor had brought with him, making him feel a little warmer than normal.

Carol shook her head. “Boy, you are so in love it hurts.”

Steve’s jaw dropped and he shook his head furiously. “What?! No, no, Bucky and I are just dating.”

Nat scoffed. “Just dating, my ass.”

“I’m serious, guys,” Steve said to the group at large. “It’s only been a few months.”

“A few months of you picking Winnie up from school,” Tony chimed in.

“And making dinner and cleaning the apartment,” Sam said.

“And relearning to paint,” Bruce said, and Steve shot him a betrayed look.

“And learning there’s more to life than what you had before,” Clint cried.

“And having lots of vigorous, fantastically satisfying and mind-blowing sex!” Thor bellowed. 

The room erupted into laughter and Steve was red as a tomato as it quietened down.

“And a few months of you falling hopelessly in love with Bucky Barnes,” Carol said, tipping her beer bottle to Steve. “And with him falling hopelessly in love with you.”

Everyone watched him closely as his heart started to beat a little faster and memories of Bucky smiling, laughing, crying, choking on a piece of carrot, looking up at Steve in their bed, holding his hand, reading a book, taking pictures of Steve and Winnie, kissing Steve, all flooded his mind.

Steve choked on air.

“Yeah,” he coughed. “Yeah, I’m hopelessly in love with Bucky Barnes.”

The room erupted into chaos and Steve felt suffocated as everyone rushed to jump on top of him or give him a hug. He laughed, feeling joyous and light as air because _holy fuck,_ he was in love with Bucky Barnes.

Not surprising.

But he was in love. 

A few minutes of Steve trying to wrestle his way out of the pile of his closest family and friends, Friday told him to say goodnight to Winnie. He waved away everyone's cheers and wolf whistles because there was no way in hell that he would be telling Bucky tonight with these clowns around. 

But what surprised Steve the most was when he went into Winnie’s bedroom to find her dozing on the pillow and Bucky getting up to give him a hug, he felt the exact same, but maybe a little happier. That’s all Steve needed to know that he had been in love with Bucky Barnes for a very long time and was now only just realising it. 

He gave Winnie her goodnight kisses and wished her sweet dreams, and then he and Bucky got distracted in the hallway where Steve showed him, without words, just how much he was in love with him. 

They went back to the others who all looked at him with varying expressions of glee, Scott and Clint in the back making lewd gestures with their hands until Hope and Nat slapped them on the back of their heads. 

They played a large game of Cards Against Humanity before Steve started to see Clint, Sam, Tony, Nat and Bucky start exchanging looks. He tapped Bucky’s head from where Bucky was sitting on the floor between Steve’s legs and Bucky leant his head back to look up at Steve.

“What, baby?”

“You okay?” Steve asked, nodding his head to where Clint, Nat, Tony and Sam were all huddled together and looking at them.

“Yeah,” Bucky bit his lip and twisted around so he could look at Steve easier without hurting his neck. “They want to talk to you, though.”

“Is this an intervention?” Steve hissed. “I quit my job and I’m fine.”

Bucky lightly hit Steve on the knee with his hand of cards. “Fucking hell, Steve, just go talk to them and see what they have to say. I promise you’ll like it.”

Steve narrowed his eyes at the love of his life. “You’re keeping secrets from me.”

Bucky grinned cheekily. “Yep. Go, you punk.”

“Jerk,” Steve said, kissing Bucky’s forehead and dropping his white cards into the stack, which the other four did the same and then they were all walking down the hallway to the playroom Tony had set up.

The room was full of toys and a little messy from Cassie and Winnie’s games so Steve straight away started to pick up things and place them back in their rightful spots. The others watched with a variety of expressions.

“What?” Steve said, putting his hands on his hips and raising his eyebrows. “You got something to say?”

“It’s just-” Clint shuddered. “You’re just so _dad_ now.”

Steve frowned.

“It’s a good look on you!” Clint held up his hands.

“Yep,” Tony said, plopping down into a bright pink bean bag. “Really suits your age.”

Everyone rolled their eyes and sat down as well, some in beanbags and others on the floor. It didn't escape Steve’s notice that the four of them sat in a line facing Steve.

“Bucky said this wasn’t an intervention but it really feels like one,” Steve said, gesturing to them. “What the fuck is going on?”

“A job offer,” Nat said. 

“A job offer?” Steve asked, bewildered. “I’m not cleaning your apartments. I love you guys, but you’re all messy as fuck and I’m not going to do that.”

“I’m going to ignore that,” Sam said, rolling his eyes. “But yeah, a job offer with the Avengers.”

Steve stilled and he watched his friends with apprehension. “Did a mission go bad and you all lose your memory? I thought we were in agreement-”

“Oh for fucks sake,” Tony cried and pulled out a yellow file folder from behind his back, throwing onto the floor in front of Steve. “Read that.”

Steve picked up the folder with the large Avengers symbol on the front and bolded letters classifying it as confidential with slightly shaking hands before flipping it open. There were quite a few pages in it, but the first was similar to that of a mission report, the Avengers logo in the corner, but with the title ‘YOUNG AVENGERS INITIATIVE’.

Steve looked at it confused and flipped the page over again, where a profile of Peter Parker sat with his details and a picture of him. He held it up, confused.

“The Young Avengers Initiative? We never got this off the ground.”

“Cause we could never figure it out perfectly,” Nat shrugged. “Now we think we have a solution.”

“Peter Parker?”

Tony huffed. “A little, but mainly you.”

“Bucky said you enjoyed the type of work you did at SHIELD,” Sam said, a smile slowly growing on his lips. “You just didn’t like the people or the organisation. What if you can have all three? You founded the Avengers, you know the work we do here and we’re independent, so why not be the coach of a team here?”

Steve’s brain was slowly shutting down as his eyes widened. 

“You’d train them,” Nat continued. “Teach them all the things you know. Make them Avengers. Lead them through missions.”

“Missions?”

“You’d be at the Compound guiding them through it,” Clint said, waving his hand through the air. “It wouldn’t be the major things, of course, that’s up to us, but baby missions to help them grow and stuff.”

“And you wouldn’t be their leader like you were with us,” Tony grinned. “To use your wise boyfriend’s words, you’d be the coach of the football team.”

Something was building in Steve’s chest, threatening to crush his lungs and fill his windpipe, and with startling realisation, he realised it was hope. This. This felt right. A job he enjoyed with people he liked and a fight for humanity that he believed in so much he created an independent organisation to fight for it. This could be his calling in life. 

“Who would be on the team then?” Steve asked, a smile on his face matching all of their smiles too.

“We’ve got four at the moment, a trial run for the program but that can be easily extended,” Tony said, pointing to the file. “The end goal is for it to be bigger, and with enough people to create a turn over so people can retire when they want without worrying about not enough people on the team. I’ve got two candidates.”

“I’ve got one,” Sam smiled.

“And we’ve got one too,” Clint said, nudging Nat with his elbow.

“So, what do you think?” Nat eyed him suspiciously.

“We’ll need to talk about it more, and I’ll need to speak with Bucky,” Steve shook his head, an immense wave of gratitude and love and rightness nearly knocking him over. “But I think this could really work.”

“We do too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> even tho Bucky isn't canon Bucky here, I feel like him and Carol (two adorable and strong brainwashed soldiers) would be the best of friends (plus my brain would explode/melt from the hotness) 
> 
> thoughts????? one of my hopes for Endgame was that Tony or Steve would not die (HAHAHAH pain) but retire and then become a director/mentor type figure for new avengers but lol that didn't happen (FUCK endgame). i think it would have been nice for steve, so boom, here's a fic with it. i hope you like it too!
> 
> thank you all, and have a brilliant day <3


	12. I'm in love and it's a sunny day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That sounds awesome, baby. Red wine, good books, no kids? Living the life.”
> 
> Bucky threw his head back and laughed, and Steve wondered how his life had come to this. It didn’t matter, because he loved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys your response to this little old fic of mine just continues to blow me away. i was nervous about steve and his work, but i'm so happy you guys are loving it. thank you!!!
> 
> enjoy this late night update cause i can't update till next week :D
> 
> title from The Sunshine Song by Jason Marz

The following Sunday Winnie goes over to her friend Lucy’s house and Steve and Bucky, blessedly, have the day to themselves. Lucy’s parents pick Winnie up and Steve and Bucky collapse back into bed for a much-needed nap.

Steve wakes up with the mid-morning sunlight streaming through Bucky’s bedroom and a soft Bucky tangled with him. He takes the moment to study his boyfriend’s face and bask in the amount of love he feels.

It’s all-consuming and it constricts Steve’s lungs to the point where it’s hard to breathe, but he wouldn’t trade it for the world. Steve breathes Bucky and the life they’ve formed together with their favourite little girl. This life is as bright as sunlight. He kisses Bucky’s cheek tenderly and shushes the other man when he moves, leaving him wrapped in blankets and warmth to make lunch in the kitchen.

Throughout his life with Bucky and Winnie, Steve’s skills in the kitchen have grown exponentially, so he taps into these skills to make a feast for his love. He puts on some gentle happy music and hums softly, moving around the kitchen and letting the domesticity, something he never thought he’d have, sink into his skin.

Steve turns around to check on the bacon on the stove and see’s Bucky leaning against the wall, watching him with a dopey smile on his face a little while later.

“Hi,” Steve says.

“Hi,” Bucky responds, walking over slowly and wrapping his arm around Steve like they hadn’t spent the last few hours in bed already doing that.

Steve melts into his embrace and flips the bacon over Bucky’s back, resting his chin on Bucky’s shoulder.

“Whatcha doin’?” Bucky asks, burrowing further into Steve’s warmth and letting out a cute yarn into Steve’s chest.

“Making your food,” Steve whispers. “Treating my best guy right.”

“You do that all the time,” Bucky kisses Steve’s throat and Steve just about melts even more. “Can I do anything to help?”

Steve shakes his head. “Just sit your cute butt in that chair over there and let me look at you while I cook.”

Bucky pulls back and smirks at him, all sleepy. “I can certainly do that.”

Steve finishes making Bucky waffles with bacon whilst Bucky sits on the kitchen stool and watches him do it. It gives Steve the perfect opportunity to look up at Bucky any time he wants and feel the love burst in his chest. They sit out on the balcony and watch the city pass them by as they eat, and Steve feels home swell in his gut. 

He kisses Bucky for a long time, all syrupy and bacon breath.

Eventually, they clean up the breakfast mess and Bucky migrates over to the couch, watching with a pout as Steve leaves the living space and finds the file that the others had given him, before joining Bucky on the couch, who immediately cuddles up to his side. 

“What’s this?” Bucky poked the file.

Steve huffed. “The intervention.”

Bucky rolled his eyes but took the file when Steve handed it to him. He flipped it open to the outline of the job and the Young Avengers Initiative. Steve watched him as he read.

“Did you know about this?”

“They explained it vaguely when we went out for drinks the other night,” Bucky said, still reading. “I told them I was worried about you and getting a job, and they said they’d been waiting for things to align for this. I knew they were gonna approach you about it.”

“They said so,” Steve kissed Bucky’s temple. “Thank you.”

Bucky turned his head and gave Steve a chaste kiss. “No problem, baby. Okay, so, tell me more. Who will be in the team?”

Steve reached over and turned the page to Peter Parker’s profile. “Four to start off with for a trial based program. Peter Parker,” he turned the page as he said each person’s name so he and Bucky could see their profile. “Harley Keener, Kate Bishop, and America Chavez.”

Bucky raised his eyebrows, his lips twitching at the corners. “Wow, Pete and Harley we know. Who are Kate and America?”

“Nat and Clint know Kate, apparently Clint’s like her brother and got her out of a really hard spot when she was younger. She stays in his apartment building. And Sam knows America through the VA.”

“And why’s Peter a part of the team? Isn’t he already an Avenger?”

“Yeah, but he’s never had concentrated or long training like he’s going to have now. Tony says he actually signed up for it, said it couldn’t hurt to go back to basics.”

“He’s a good kid,” Bucky smiled.

Steve knew he was thinking fondly of the time Peter had babysat Winnie and she hadn’t stopped talking about him for days afterwards.

“And these other kids seem great too,” Steve flipped the pages back to Harley Kenner’s profile. “You met Harley the other day. I’ve known him for a while. He helped Tony out during the whole Mandarin fiasco and they’ve kept in touch. He’s always helped Tony with suit upgrades and stuff, and now he has his own Iron Man suit.”

There was a small photo of Harley, smiling at the camera. He’s young, the same age as Peter at seventeen, with youngish features, curly blonde hair falling onto his forehead and cut short at the sides. His bright blue eyes were a contrast to his fair skin, and his details were included on the page, stating information like his date of birth, location, connections, and abilities which weren’t out of the ordinary. Harley was a human with no superpowers or mutations, just an extremely intelligent brain. 

They flipped over to the next page, a photo of Kate Bishop embedded. Kate had piercing blue eyes, framed by pieces of dark black hair that had fallen out of her high messy ponytail. She was young, like the other two, a small smile stretching her lips. Below her photo was her information.

**NAME: Katherine Elizabeth “Kate” Bishop**

**ALIAS: Hawkeye**

**RELATIVES: Derek Bishop (father), Eleanor Bishop (mother/deceased), Heather Bishop (step-mother), Susan Bishop (sister)**

**CITIZENSHIP: American**

**SPECIES: Human**

**ABILITIES: Skilled athlete, proficient martial artist, master archer and marksman, adept swordswoman**

And other things including weight, height, birth date etc.

Bucky gasped and pointed to the name Susan Bishop. “Susan’s in one of my classes! This must have been where she got the source about you in her essay.”

“That is probably one hundred per cent true,” Steve said. “Kate and Clint are really close. I wouldn’t put it past Clint to tell her random stories about me.”

Bucky chuckled lightly and flipped the page over to the last person joining the initiative. The image showed a young, black woman named America, black curls framing her face, lips twitching into a smirk, and brown eyes looking straight on into the camera. 

**NAME: America Chavez**

**ALIAS: Ms America**

**RELATIVES: Amalia Chavez (mother), Elena Chavez (mother)**

**CITIZENSHIP: American**

**SPECIES: Human (Fuertona empowered by proximity to the Demiurge in the Utopian Parallel)**

**ABILITIES: Self-propelled flight, superhuman speed, superhuman strength, power stomp, invulnerability (bullet-proof, flame retardant, superhuman durability), star portal creation (interdimensional travel)**

Bucky wolf-whistled. “Damn, this is one hell of a woman.”

“Right?” Steve said, smiling, feeling a little excited to be able to train someone so powerful. He pointed to a note in red at the bottom of the page for Bucky to read.

**IMPORTANT: MISS CHAVEZ IS A REFUGEE FROM DIMENSION OUT OF TIME AND SPACE ‘UTOPIAN PARALLEL’ WITH HER PARENTS**

Bucky blinked, pausing, before looking quickly over to Steve. “A _refugee?_ From a _dimension out of time and space?”_

“Yep.”

Bucky’s eyes were as wide as saucers. “Okay, I’m never thinking about that ever again because I will never be able to process that piece of information. Try not to bring it up, please.”

“Sure thing, honey,” Steve kissed Bucky on the temple, who promptly closed the file and dropped it on the coffee table, before turning his head to rest in the crook of Steve’s neck.

“So?” Steve asked, running his fingers through Bucky’s soft hair. “What do you think?”

“They seem like great people,” Bucky murmured. “Who all need someone just as great to train them.”

“Do you think that could be me?”

Bucky pulled away so he and Steve could look at each other's faces. “Definitely,” Bucky said, beaming.

Steve beamed right back. “Awesome, me too. This sounds like what I’ve been looking for, Buck. I know where these kids are headed because I was there myself, I founded it. I never stopped believing in the work we do as Avengers, and I think it’s perfect that I could help the next round of the team.”

“I think it’s perfect too,” Bucky confessed. “The timing, the people, the cause. Of course, when things get up and running we’ll have to juggle Winnie and all her commitments, but I think we can manage it.”

“I’m really excited,” Steve buzzed, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, laughing lightly. “I’m so excited.”

“I’m happy for you,” Bucky said, kissing Steve.

They kissed for a little before going back to cuddling, this time with Bucky’s head in Steve’s lap, facing up towards Steve. 

“There’s actually something else I wanted to talk to you about,” Bucky said slowly. “Think you’re up for another conversation?”

Steve hummed his consent and started to thread his fingers through Bucky’s hair.

“That oldies club. I think you should go.”

Steve paused for a second before resuming his hands, thrown for a second by Bucky’s topic choice. “The Brooklyn’s Brilliant Brunch for Seniors?”

“Yeah, that’s the one. You haven’t gone, but you seemed really interested.”

Steve sighed. “I guess with the SHIELD job I just didn’t have time.”

Bucky squinted at him. “You didn’t _make_ time.”

Steve bit his lip and refrained from commenting.

“I think you should check it out before starting with the Young Avengers. See if it’s your thing, and if it’s not, then you can find something else. You at least gotta try.”

Steve raised his eyebrows. “Well, speaking of trying, let’s make a deal. I’ll check out the Seniors club if you go back to the VA.”

Bucky winced and opened his mouth to protest.

“Nope,” Steve cut him off. “Hear me out. Just one group session. You don’t have to talk in the session, you don’t have to make friends or connections. Just sit there and listen to others' stories and think about whether you need to go back. I think it’s just as important as me finding my groove that you find some help.”

Bucky’s jaw twitched but after a few seconds he held up his hand for Steve to shake, who gladly took it with a smile on his face. “Fine, you’ve got yourself a deal, Rogers.”

***

Steve spent some time the next day going over The Brooklyn’s Brilliant Brunch for Seniors club’s website.

He checks their schedule and sees that tomorrow is Tuesday Bingo, and when he tells Bucky, he laughs.

“Wow, I really am dating an old man.”

Steve pouted. 

“You should go,” Bucky’s face softened and he cupped Steve’s jaw with his hand. “Bingo seems pretty tame and you can make some new friends. Maybe bring back a prize or two.”

“You’ll be okay by yourself at home?”

“Of course, Stevie,” Bucky kissed him chastely. “Carol and I were going to video chat anyway.”

Steve groaned. 

The next day Steve found himself in front of a large brownstone building a few blocks over from their apartments, shifting nervously on his feet and looking up at the cursive writing on a sign identifying the building as the Brooklyn’s Brilliant Brunch for Seniors club. 

He took a deep breath and walked up the few steps to the front door next to the accessibility ramp, and opened the door, closing it softly behind him. 

He found himself in a foyer of sorts, dark wood trimming the large windows letting in warm sunlight, bathing the room in a warm glow. To the left was a staircase leading up to the above floors, with a reception desk to the right, grey marble and tall. In between the stairs and the desk was a large doorway, leading to a short hallway and then a large room.

On both sides, walls were closed, large doors, the same wood as their trimmings, old lamps attached to the walls either side. Steve stepped inside, his shoes making soft sounds against the wooden floor before muted sounds on the plush dark green carpet.

A lady was sitting behind the tall reception desk, tapping away on the computer. She looked to be in her late thirties, maybe, with blonde hair wrapped into a bun on top of her head. She was wearing a light blue uniform and looked up at Steve, giving him a small smile and a gesture indicating she would be a moment.

Steve walked over and rested his hands on top of the desk nervously, taking time to look at the dozens of children's drawings tapped on the desks walls, taking over the grey marble. He didn’t fight the thought that Winnie’s drawings were better, and the thought of her made him smile internally, unintentionally settling his nerves a little.

The woman finished typing what she needed to and looked to Steve with a large smile. “Hi, my name’s Jessie and welcome to Brooklyn’s Brilliant Brunch for Seniors. Are you here to visit a family member?”

 _Ah,_ Steve thought, _this is where things get awkward._

Steve rubbed the back of his neck, giving her a nervous smile. “Ah, no, actually. I’m here to join the bingo game today. I’m checking out the club to see if I want to join?”

Jessie looked at him, clearly confused and a little worried about his mental stability. “I’m so sorry, sir, but participants have to be over the age of seventy. I’m sure there are some bingo clubs around for people your age.”

Steve shifted on his feet. “See the thing is, these people are around my age.”

Jessie froze, blinked, and then tilted her head to the side. “Sir, what year were you born?”

“1918?”

“Is that a question or a fact?”

“A fact,” Steve nodded. “July 4th, 1918, ma’am.”

Jessie’s dark brown eyes scanned Steve quickly and then she turned to her computer, typing something. She pressed enter and Steve leaned forward a little to see her on a Google search for Captain America. Pictures of Sam returned with the search.

“You’ll have to change that to Steve Rogers,” Steve cleared his throat. “Sam’s Cap now.”

Jessie flushed. “Right, yes, of course.”

Jessie changed the search for Steve Rogers and then pulled up a picture of Steve from his press conference announcing that he was retiring. She enlarged the photo and then looked to Steve, who smiled like he was in the photo, before looking back to the photo.

Jessie sighed. “My partner said that they felt something big was going to happen today and I didn’t believe them.”

“Surprise?” Steve held up his hands and waved them like jazz hands, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Alrighty, Steve Rogers,” Jessie laughed, bending down to open a drawer and taking out a few pieces of paper. “I’ll need you to fill out some forms for me so we can keep track of who's coming in and out. I’m guessing you don’t need to fill out forms for any pre-existing conditions, medications, or allergies.”

“Nope,” Steve said, popping the p and taking a form and pen from Jessie. 

As he was filling out the form, Jessie continued talking.

“So this is just a trial today? To see if you want to become a regular?”

“Yeah,” Steve nodded. “I’ve been told I need to make some friends with people my age and this seems like the place to do it.”

Jessie laughed. “Definitely. And you don’t need any care or mobility type lessons?”

“Nah, I’m good for that. Just social things.”

“Awesome. I think you’ll like bingo.”

“Me too,” Steve signed the form and gave it back to Jessie with a smile. “And I would really appreciate it if you could keep this between us and your bosses. If word got out there’d be reporters camping out the front and I really don’t want to disrupt anything.”

“Of course, Steve,” Jessie smiled and stapled something to the form before spinning on her chair and putting it in a filing cabinet. She spun back around and then stood from her chair. “I’ll take you through to the Hall where bingo is.”

She walked around the desk but they both paused when the door to the right opened and an older lady stepped out. She was hunched over in the shoulders a little, wearing a deep red flowy shirt and light blue jeans, a large golden necklace hung around her neck, matching her earrings. Her hair was framing her face, grey with a red tinge suggesting she had been a redhead in her younger years.

Jessie stepped towards the woman, a large smile overtaking her face. “Dolores, are you all good?”

Dolores waved away Jessie’s question. “Perfectly fine, dear,” Dolores’ eyes caught Steve’s and a small mischievous smile overtook her lips. “Well, hello, young man. Who are you?”

Steve chuckled thinking that he was probably older than this woman, but stepped forward and shook her hand. “Steve Rogers, ma’am, a pleasure to meet you.”

Dolores hummed and wrapped her hand around Steve’s arm. “Pleasure’s all mine, Steve. I’m Dottie.”

Jessie gestured to the hallway, so Steve and Dottie followed her, Steve bending down slightly so Dottie could use his arm to help her walk.

“And what’s a fine man like you doing around here?” Dottie asked, pinching his cheek. “Nobody told me they had a handsome son or grandson.”

Steve laughed, a faint blush to his cheeks. “Oh, no, I’m joining you for bingo today.”

Dottie squinted at him then turned to Jessie who was standing at the end of the hallway. 

“This is Steve Rogers, Dot. Ex-Captain America.”

Dottie gasped and squeezed Steve’s bicep. “So, you’re ten years older than me. I do like an older man.”

Steve laughed and Dottie giggled, with Jessie shaking her head with an amused smile. Jessie gestured to the end of the large room where tables were set up for bingo, participants slowly walking around or chatting at the tables. 

The entire back wall of the large Hall had tall windows showing the backyard, where there were tables and chairs, as well as the garden Steve had seen on the website. On the other side of the Hall from the bingo set up was a large screen TV on the wall, a variation of couches and chairs scattered around to create a living space.

“Sanjeev will be taking bingo today,” Jessie explained. “Brunch will be served after the game. I’ll be at the front desk if you need anything, Steve. I’m sure Dottie would be happy to introduce you to people.”

“Thanks so much,” Steve said, a warm smile taking over his face. Jessie had been wonderful and really helped calm his nerves. He was pretty scared he’d be rejected because of the way he looks, but she’s been so nice in welcoming him.

She nodded and walked back to the front desk, and Dottie squeezed his arm again. “Now, come with me, Steve. I believe you’ll know Jack and Stan. They say you are their neighbour, but we never believed him.”

Steve laughed and followed Dottie to a group of older people sitting on the left table. Stan and Jack were sitting there engrossed in a conversation, but jumped up and gave Steve big hugs, clapping him on the back and proudly introducing him to their friends.

Dottie sat down next to a woman named Bonnie with greying hair and a wrinkled face, wearing a pink floral pattern dress and sparkly sandals. She’s loud and gossips with Dottie behind their hands, but she’s warm and welcoming towards Steve.

He sits down in between Jack and Stan and even though he’s the oldest in the room, challenged by two years with Lorraine in the corner Dottie says, he immediately feels a sense of belonging. Someone mentions Hoover and they’re all off, talking about the good old days, as Steve’s younger friends would say.

Sanjeev, a carer who’s taking bingo, comes over and introduces himself to Steve. Jessie must have filled him in because he isn’t at all surprised and just explains all the rules to Steve. He also gives him some guest equipment for the game but tells Steve that he’ll need to buy some for himself if he’s going to return.

Steve arrived thirty minutes early, worried that the explanation for his young looks and being frozen in ice for seventy years would take a while, so people are still trickling in. Dottie and Bonnie help him to identify everyone, giving him gossip and rumours that Nat would have found very annoying in an interrogation, but very funny in a book club.

Some of the people who join are regulars, like Jack and Stan that live elsewhere and come in for the activities, or they're people that live on the residential floors above, like Dottie and Bonnie. All together around two dozen people sat down for bingo, the usual crowd, apparently. 

Steve got a lot of looks, but if Bonnie and Dottie had taught Steve anything, rumours spread quickly around the club so everyone already knew who he was. Steve didn’t mind. Older people tended to have different reactions than younger people to being in the presence of a Captain America. 

In a general way, younger people wanted the picture to post online and the story to tell friends. Typically, older people wanted a connection and laugh. That didn’t apply to everyone, certainly, but no people were coming up to him asking for a perfect picture to post on their Instagrams. 

Bingo started and it was a chaotic affair. There were clearly little friendship groups within the larger group, lots of yelling and banter flying across the room. Inside jokes that Steve didn’t understand but still made him choke on laughter. They had a different way of talking than the modern person, and Steve found himself falling back into his old Brooklyn slang easily and without any weird looks of people who didn’t understand.

Dottie called bingo first and people threw tissues at her as she collected her prize, shouting that she cheated like usual. Stan had to explain that Dottie was notorious for winning nearly everything, and most people suspected she cheated. She sat down with her big bottle of champagne as a prize and shot Steve a smirk so like Natasha he had to think if his best friend had infiltrated the place to spy on him.

No, Nat wouldn’t do that. She’d either bother Steve so much he spilt everything about the day or get Bucky to spill the details to her.

After the round of bingo, the group Steve found himself moved from the tables to the living space across the room after filling their plates full of food from the brunch buffet. Another woman named Gloria joined them as well after her nap.

“So,” Dottie said, leaning forward in her seat towards Steve, gaining the attention of the rest of the group. “You got yourself a nice young lady, Steve?” She then paused and shook her head. “Sorry, I know better. A nice young man, or non-binary partner?”

Steve waved away the question but his red face must have given him away. Stan and Jack were nudging each other with their elbows and Steve knew they’d blurt it out if he didn’t.

“I, yeah, I’ve got a boyfriend.”

They all hooted and giggled, clapping him on the back.

“Do tell!” Bonnie said, squeezing his hand.

Steve fished his phone out from his pocket, balancing his plate of food on his lap, and pulled up a picture of Bucky he had taken on the street after their first date. It’s one of his favourites. 

“This is Bucky,” Steve said, passing the phone around the group. “He lives on the same floor as me and we’ve been dating for the past few months. He’s honestly one of the best things in my life.”

“Love?” Gloria asked.

Steve blushed. “Oh, definitely. I haven’t told him yet, but I fell head over heels for him as soon as I opened my door and he gave me a box of homemade welcome to the building cookies.”

Everyone made cooing noises, which made Steve grin. Dottie had the phone and she swiped across the screen.

“And who is this little one?” She held up the phone to a picture of Winnie holding up one of her paintings, yellow paint on her forehead and in her hair.

Steve melted into the couch and it didn’t escape anyone else’s notice. “That’s Winnie, Bucky’s daughter.”

“Ah,” Bonnie said, raising her eyebrows. “The other best thing in your life?”

Steve nodded. 

“She’s a great kid,” Jack said, smiling at Steve. “Bucky’s done a great job raising her by himself, and you’ve fitted in well into their family. I always worried about them, but now I don’t because of you.”

Steve’s throat was clogged with emotion and he had to swallow hard before thanking Jack.

The rest of Steve’s afternoon at the club consisted of stories of everyone’s children and grandchildren, and Steve found himself injecting stories of Winnie in as well as they ate. Everyone was amazing and lively, funny and so welcoming. Steve found himself not wanting to leave but he promised Bucky he’d pick Winnie up with him.

He gave everyone hugs as he left and stopped by Jessie to tell her he’d definitely be coming back. 

He had a spring in his step all the way to the front of their apartment, where Bucky was sitting waiting for him. Steve didn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around his boyfriend and lift him up into the air, Bucky squeaking in surprise as Steve laughed.

“Well, hello to you too,” Bucky huffed, straightening his shirt. 

Steve grinned and gave him a kiss. “Hello, beautiful.”

“Hi,” Bucky blushed. “I’m assuming you had a good day?”

“The best!” Steve sighed happily, taking Bucky’s hand and heading off in the direction of Winnie’s school. “It was amazing, Buck, truly amazing.”

“Yeah?” Bucky squeezed his hand. “Tell me all about it.”

So Steve did. He told her about the initial awkwardness with Jessie, the gossip from Dottie, the banter with Jack and Stan, the little click he found himself in. He excitedly told Steve how gorgeous the building was and how he wants to put one of Winnie’s paintings up with the other kid’s on the front desk.

They stopped in their usual waiting place and waved to the other parents, a few minutes left until the bell rang and the kids came out. Bucky placed a kiss on Steve’s cheek.

“I’m super proud of you, Stevie. I’m so happy it worked out.”

Steve kissed Bucky’s temple. “Thanks for always encouraging and supporting me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I’d think you’d manage.”

Later, after walking Winnie home, having dinner and then putting her to bed, they were sitting in silence on the couch, quietly dozing off in each other’s arms when Bucky shifted and rested his head in the crook of Steve’s neck.

“I think I’ll go to the VA tomorrow,” he murmured quietly. “After work. We can have a chill date night because I’ll be too exhausted to do anything else.”

“Okay, honey,” Steve muttered back, kissing Bucky’s hair softly. “Whatever you need, okay?”

Steve had to forcibly hold himself back from saying I love you.

***

Steve called Sam the next day and spoke about Bucky going back to the VA. He made sure to ask Sam all the relative questions about making sure he would be the best for Bucky when he got back. It was subjective, Sam said, so Steve had to make some guesses along the way, but he figured Bucky would tell him if he needed anything else. 

Bucky opened Steve’s apartment door a few hours after he’d usually come home. He had changed in between work and the VA and was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. Steve noted his face was red, so he got up from the couch slowly and opened his arms.

Steve knew Bucky didn’t like to be touched after a nightmare, but he also knew the man loved Steve’s hugs, so he wasn’t too surprised when Bucky stumbled into the apartment, kicked the door closed and practically collapsed into Steve’s arms.

He cried softly into Steve’s t-shirt, and Steve gently moved them to his couch so they could sit and huddle together. They stayed like that for a long moment, before eventually Bucky pulled back and croaked that he needed some water.

Steve quickly filled his request and sat down next to Bucky, watching him take the drink and blow his nose a few times.

“Hey,” Bucky smiled softly at him, wiping his nose.

“Hey,” Steve said back quietly.

“I’ll talk about it soon,” Bucky said, looking down at his hand in his lap. “Just give me some time.”

“Of course, Buck,” Steve wiggled a little closer, wanting to take the man in his arms but he wasn’t sure if that would have been welcomed. “What else do you need? I made that mac and cheese recipe that your ma sent me, so that’s keeping warm in the oven for dinner. I also took the bath products from your bathroom and brought them over here if you want a bath, and I got all your favourite snacks in the cupboard if you want to just sit and watch Netflix.”

Bucky was staring at Steve, his mouth hanging open a little. Panic seized Steve’s chest and his eyes widened, thinking he’d missed something or wasn’t doing what Bucky needed.

“Or we can go for a walk? Or a run? Or hit the gym, have sex? Sam said that some people might need an outlet for their emotions so we can do whatever you need-”

Bucky’s lips trembled and he raised a shaky hand to cover Steve’s mouth, cutting him off from his rambling. Steve furrowed his eyebrows.

“Thank you, Steve. I-uh-I haven’t had someone to look after me like this in a long time and I’m very lucky to have you,” Bucky moved his hand to cup Steve’s jaw. “I think a bath sounds really good, and then some mac and cheese, then snacks and Netflix.”

“Okay,” Steve nodded, a little emotional himself with Bucky’s words. “Can I touch you? Or is that just after a nightmare?”

“Just after a nightmare,” Bucky confessed, wrapping his arm around Steve’s neck and tugging him into a hug. “I think I’ll need a lot of your hugs tonight.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.”

Steve bathed Bucky and washed his hair gently, then wrapped his boyfriend in soft clothes and warm blankets. They snuggled on the couch and ate the mac and cheese, watching Mamma Mia because the movie never failed to brighten Bucky’s spirits. Its effect was a little damped today, but Bucky still sang along to the songs underneath his breath and cried when Donna got Sophie ready for her wedding.

“Fuck,” Bucky said after the movie finished, blowing his nose. “Can you imagine what a mess I’ll be on Winnie’s wedding day?”

Steve groaned. “Oh god, just thinking about it makes me want to sob.”

Bucky grinned beneath his tissue and blew his nose. “Alright,” he said, stretching up and then collecting his tissues. “Put the dishes away and grab the snacks, it’s time to talk.”

Steve huffed but did as he was told, putting the dishes in the dishwasher and then grabbing the cartoons of Ben and Jerry’s, as well as the edible cookie dough and Sour Patch Kids. 

He put the spread on the coffee table and let Bucky drape the blanket back over them, grabbing the spoons and then digging into their respective ice creams. They took a few bites before Bucky sighed and started to talk.

“It was pretty emotionally exhausting,” he said, sticking his spoon in the ice cream repeatedly. “There were a dozen or so people there, from all different backgrounds of services. Another amputee, but she was missing her right leg. I sat next to her.”

“Did you speak?”

“No,” Bucky shook his head. “I just listened. It was too overwhelming to talk and I haven’t talked about a lot of the things that happened in detail for a long time.”

“That’s okay, Buck,” Steve reassured. “I’m so proud of you for just going and listening.”

“You know what?” Bucky asked, looking up at Steve with a small smile. “Me too. Sometimes I’ve felt so alone and isolated, so it was really refreshing to hear other people’s struggles and realise that I really am not alone.”

Steve didn’t say anything, but he felt a sharp pain in his chest. He wanted to protest that Bucky wasn’t alone. He had his parents, and Becca and Winnie and Steve, but he knew that that wasn’t what Bucky meant or was trying to say. Steve, too, had felt alone, even when on a team of superheroes with the same experiences and mental health problems as him. 

“And the amputee? Her name was Bridget, and she spoke. She talked a lot about adjusting to life without a leg. It’s been a decade since she last served and she’s got two young boys now, so it was really nice to hear her struggles as a parent and an amputee.”

“Did you talk to her afterwards?”

Bucky frowned. “No, I didn’t. I just had to get out and come see you.”

They lapsed into silence and went back to their ice creams for a few moments.

“Do you think you’ll go back?” Steve asked, quiet, watching Bucky’s face for any expression.

Bucky paused and took another mouthful of ice cream, letting it melt in his mouth before answering.

“I think so,” he nodded. “I don’t think I can go multiple times a week at the moment, maybe just one day for a group session. Maybe next time I see Bridget I’ll ask if she wants to have a chat.”

Steve felt relief flood his system and he didn’t hesitate to squeeze Bucky’s hand wrapped around his spoon. “I’m really glad, Buck. We can figure out when’s the best for you to go, okay? I can look after Winnie for the whole day if you need so you can have some alone time to process and recharge.”

“Thank you, Steve,” Bucky kissed his cheek lightly. “I don’t think you will ever understand how grateful I am for you.”

“If it’s even half of how grateful I am for you, then I understand.”

***

The day after Bucky goes back to the VA and their quiet, soft, date night, Steve goes back to the Senior’s club for a gardening day. 

It’s just as chaotic as the bingo game and just as much fun. Steve falls easily back into the click he found himself in on Tuesday, with the added addition of Helen who only comes on Thursday’s for gardening.

Steve, instead of doing some actual gardening work, mainly moved equipment and helped out the carers as he was fit and able to, unlike most of the oldies. He met Jane and Victor, a married couple who love to garden together, and listened to their story of meeting during the war. 

He also takes time to sit on a bench near the fence line and sketch the chaos around him. He sketches Jack spraying Stan with the hose, and Dottie wiping dirt off her face. He sketches Jane and Victor kissing under the apple tree, arms full of veggies and greens.

Antoni, a man that reminded Steve of Peter Quill with his taste in music and electric personality and a carer at the club, stops by Steve and takes note of his sketches.

“Wow, Steve,” Antoni gushes, sitting down next to Steve who shifts his sketchbook over so Antoni can see it better. “These are fucking brilliant.”

“Thanks, Antoni,” Steve laughed. “They’re just some quick sketches.”

Antoni rolled his eyes. “You’re like my sister-in-law. She’s so talented and is so fucking humble I just want to shake her and scream about how amazing she is.”

Steve’s grin grew at that mental image and the love Antoni must have for his sister-in-law.

“You know, we actually had art lessons on a Wednesday last year but we lost our instructor, so we’ve been filing it with a free day. Maybe I could talk to my bosses and you could take the classes yourself?” Antoni’s eyes widened with the idea. “Oh, everyone would love it! They all like you so much and they can relate with you more than a young hipster.”

Steve hummed, furrowing his eyebrow. “You think I could do it?”

“Definitely!” Antoni waved his hands around, excited. “You could totally teach. You’ve got the talent and the Captain America ‘I believe you can do anything’ voice.”

Steve’s lips twitched. “I suppose so.”

“I’ll talk to Beth and see what I can do!” Antoni stood up and rushed back into the building. 

Before leaving, Steve spent some time with Jessie at the front desk, purchasing himself a full membership to the club. He got a photo taken and a promise that a card will be sent to his home address. Steve was probably more excited than he should be for it.

Steve told Bucky about Antoni’s idea as they cooked dinner.

Bucky laughed. “Well, you didn’t get a chance to go to those art classes, and now you wanna teach?”

Steve shrugged. “Maybe I could do both. Depending on the Young Avenger’s schedule, I might have time to work at YA, teach classes, and go to the club between Winnie and you.”

“Sounds busy,” Bucky mused.

“Sounds perfect,” Steve shot right back.

Bucky grinned. “Speaking of busy, I was thinking maybe I could become busy sometime during the week? Hugo is sick at the moment so Marta was texting me asking for help, which ended up being a phone call, and we were talking about how we don’t have a lot of time to just sit down and read now, and then she suggested that we should start a book club.”

“Oh?” Steve asked, completely caught by surprise. “Your friends with Marta?”

He liked Marta and Sofia, the nurses below them, and their two kids, Hugo and Diego. He would stop and talk to them out the front of the building if they bumped into each other, but Steve didn’t know Bucky was so close with them.

Bucky shrugged sheepishly. “Well, I’ve started talking to her and Sofia more since the fire. You said that I don’t have to do this alone anymore, and I couldn’t get that out of my head. I was sorely lacking in the friends department, but Marta and Sofia are pretty great.”

Steve’s mouth was open and he snapped it shut. “That’s-that’s awesome, Buck. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks,” Bucky’s cheeks turned a little pink. “I don’t know when this book thing will happen, but I’ll keep you updated. Maybe you and Sofia can join too? And we can get a sitter for the three kids. I’m pretty sure Winnie likes Hugo and Diego.”

“That sounds awesome, baby. Red wine, good books, no kids? Living the life.”

Bucky threw his head back and laughed, and Steve wondered how his life had come to this. It didn’t matter, because he loved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter never fails to make me happy so i hope it had the same effect on you!! also, i hope you like the new team (if there are any inaccuracies please tell me. i read both kate and america's wiki pages and tried my best but the comics can be confusing at the best of times).
> 
> love, sunshine and safety to you all!! <3 <3 <3


	13. In the sunshine of your love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you have a good day at work, Stevie?” Winnie asked, taking Steve’s hand and dragging him into the apartment. “Daddy’s been weird so make it better please.”
> 
> Steve laughed and picked Winnie up with one arm, wrapping the other around Bucky and pulling his two favourite people into a warm hug.
> 
> “I had the best day ever,” Steve confessed. “Work was amazing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise update!! i enjoyed the last chapter so much i wanted to keep reading my own work lol and i thought you might be feeling the same so here we are. 
> 
> a big shout out to those amazing humans who have commented on practically every chapter (you know who you are). it means the world to me, so thank you so so much. i wish the best for you xx
> 
> title from Sunshine of Your Love by Cream

Steve was nervous. Like, extremely nervous. So nervous that he felt like he was growing to throw up, or that there would be a pool of sweat around him, or that the butterflies in his stomach would burst out and spray his intestines everywhere.

Okay, that was a bit dramatic, but Steve was _nervous._

It was Monday and the first-ever time he would be meeting the Young Avengers. They were just going to get to know each other today, do some light training so Steve could get a feel for their abilities and team dynamic, as well as allow them to get to know each other and start the important foundation of becoming an unstoppable team. 

Nat greeted him and they walked to the training facility that had been designated for the initiative. It was pretty similar to the main team’s training facility. A massive room, three stories, with obstacle courses, sparring mats, gym equipment and large lockers for weapons. There was also half of the second layer with a lounge room and small kitchenette for team hangouts or debriefs, as well as a large table with holograms and equipment to plan and strategies.

Nat left Steve with a hug and a smile, and he took some time to run around and check everything out before going up the living area where the rest of the team would meet. Everything had been set up as he had asked. He sat down on one of the couches and grabbed his tablet, opening the kid's files to read over them one more time, even though he had an eidetic memory. 

“Gah!” Steve heard in what sounded like Peter Parker’s voice, coming from outside the living area and the hallway that connected the floor to the rest of the building.

The door opened and Peter stepped in, Tony coming in behind him and pushing Peter further into the room.

“Why are we so early?” Peter whined, coming over and flopping down on one of the couches. The kid was right, they were roughly thirty minutes early to when they were all meant to arrive.

Tony sniffed and crossed his arms. “Well, you have a tendency to be late so I wanted to make sure Steve had you before I go and get Harley from the front gate. You know he was with May in the city this morning.”

“I feel like you’re a nervous dad taking me right into Summer Camp instead of dropping me off at the gate,” Peter rolled his eyes and shifted to lie on his back so he could see both Tony and Steve. “It’s fine, Tony. It’s Steve. I know him. I’ve slept on his couch, we’ve been to space together, we both prefer Pepper over you.”

Steve laughed as Tony made a hurt sound. 

“The nerve of you, kid,” Tony shook his finger threateningly at a grinning Peter. “I’m going to go wait for Harley now because he’s my favourite.”

“Bullshit!” Peter called after Tony. “We all know Morgan is your favourite!”

Peter grinned and fell back to the couch, turning his head to face Steve. “Even though she isn’t born yet. How ya doin’, Brooklyn?”

“Good, I’m good,” Steve lied. “How are you feeling about all this? Are you excited?”

“Kinda,” Peter smiled. “I know the first part is going to be a little boring cause I’ve pretty much done it already, but I’m looking forward to when we can step it up a bit. Plus, Harley’s super keen and I’m pumped to meet Kate and America.”

“Me too,” Steve grinned. “We’ve definitely got some powerhouses on this team.”

Peter scoffed. “Understatement of the century.”

“I hope you share some of your experiences and wisdom with the others, Queens,” Steve said, smiling at the kid. “It probably feels a little weird coming from some high stakes missions in the big leagues to the basics, but I want you to still apply everything you’ve learnt. You’ll be extremely valuable to the others, so don’t be afraid to share or to teach them too.”

A tension within Peter’s shoulders that Steve hadn’t even noticed seemed to leave Peter as he melted further into the couch. “Thanks, Steve.”

Steve gave him a warm smile. Peter found the remote in the couch cushions and put on a random episode of New Girl to pass the time until the others arrived, and Steve continued to go over everything on his tablet. 

Just as the episode was about to end the door opened and Tony walked in with an excited Harley Keener coming in behind him. Steve stood up and walked over to them, shaking Harley’s hand.

“Nice to see you again, Harley.”

“You too, Steve,” Harley grinned and flipped Peter off over Steve’s shoulder. Steve sighed internally. The two acted like brothers, so there was sure to be mass amounts of squabbling during training.

“Alrighty, grandpa,” Tony clapped Steve on the shoulder. “Look after my boys, alright? Don’t be afraid to show them the hard stuff.”

Tony kissed Harley on the forehead as Peter muttered behind them. “I’ve been to fucking space.”

Tony walked over and kissed Peter on the head too. “Yep and yet you signed up for this.”

Peter grinned into the cushion. Tony kissed Steve on the temple and then left with a peace sign and the closing of the door. Harley immediately sat down on top of Peter’s legs on the couch and Steve didn’t get a chance to sit down either because the door opened and the two people Steve was most nervous to meet walked in with a beaming Sam. 

America was about half a head taller than Kate, but the same height as Steve. Her dark brown curly hair was tied up into a messy ponytail, and through her athletic top and light jacket, Steve could tell she was strong, even without the superpowers. When she held out her hand for Steve to shake, Steve noticed matching star outline tattoos on the insides of her wrists.

“America,” Steve said, making sure to smile and ooze the American charm people said he had. “It’s great to meet you, I’m Steve.”

America nodded but didn’t smile. “You too, Steve.”

Steve turned towards Kate and held out his hand. “And you must be Kate. Clint’s told me lots about you.”

Kate’s lips twitched, her blue eyes sparkling, and shook Steve’s offered hand. “Only the good things, I hope. Otherwise, I might have to shoot him.”

Steve laughed. “Yes, only good things.”

“Damn,” Kate shook her head. “I’ll still shoot him anyways.”

Sam chuckled. “Please record it for me.”

“Five bucks?” Kate held out her hand.

Sam slapped it. “Hell yeah.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Alright, we better get started. Kate, America, why don’t you go meet Peter and Harley? Pete, can you turn off Netflix for me, pal?”

Kate and America walked around the couch and held out their hands to Peter and Harley and they started to introduce themselves to each other, Peter turning off Netflix as he did so.

Sam slung an arm around Steve’s shoulder as they watched the kids. “Call me after, okay? I wanna hear all about it.”

“Will do.”

Sam squeezed his shoulder. “You’ve got this, Steve. Just be yourself, you can do it.”

“Thanks, Sam,” Steve whispered, bringing his friend in for a short hug. Sam always knew the right thing to say to calm Steve’s nerves down. “I’ll talk to you later.”

Sam nodded and waved to the rest of the group. “Have fun, kids!”

They all waved back and said variations of goodbye before all their eyes turned to Steve. Steve gulped. God, they were all so young and he was now responsible for them. Steve smiled nervously at them, but then a picture of Winnie appeared in his mind’s eye.

Winnie was younger by a lot, but all kids needed the same thing. Support, encouragement, love, guidance. If he could do it for Winnie, he could do it for these four.

“Why don’t you all take a seat?” Steve said, gesturing to the couches as he walked around and stood in front of the TV, and they all did so. Steve noted that they sat a little far apart from each other, except for Peter and Harley. “Today is going to be pretty chill. I’ll go over rules and expectations, and we can have an open discussion about that. Then I’ve set up an obstacle course we’ll make our way through, and we’ll have a debrief. That sound okay?”

“Rules?” Peter whined and draped himself over Harley who tried to push him off and failed. 

“Yes, Peter, rules,” Steve rolled his eyes. “But we’re going to have an open discussion afterwards, so you can feel free to add or change if you need, yeah?”

Peter huffed and when Steve raised an eyebrow, he smiled. “Yes, Steve.”

“Thanks, kid.” Steve took the four files he had made from the coffee table and handed them out to each member of his team. 

They read through the rules that were typed up, consisting of things like being on time and not telling anyone about what they did unless given expressed permission from Steve. There was some legal jargon that they all groaned at which made Steve laugh, but they breezed through it pretty quick.

“Okay, that’s all the official rules. Now for mine,” Steve grinned, resting his hands on his knees. He’d taken a seat with the kids cause he felt weird standing up in front of them. “I want you guys to always feel safe and comfortable here, so I need you to speak up if you don’t. If it’s something we’re doing, something someone else on the team has done or said, or even if it’s me. I promise that nothing bad will happen if you speak up, and I will always listen, okay?”

They all nodded.

“If you’re struggling, I need you to speak up too. Either with the things we’re doing, or if it’s your personal life, I’m here to help in any way. I’m always happy to listen to rants about parents or school, or just the world in general. We’re going to try and build a team here, yes, but also a family and families have each other's backs.”

Steve noticed Harley and Kate’s sad smiles at that and took a mental note to watch out for similar things in the future knowing a little about their family history.

“And my final point, you need to have each other’s backs. It will take a while for you to get to know each other and feel comfortable around each other, but you always need to have each other’s backs. We look out for each other here at the Avengers, and that’s my golden rule. Do you think you can all do that?”

They all nodded, Peter a little more enthusiastically at that.

“Awesome. Does anyone have any problems or issues with anything we’ve discussed so far? This is always an open space, no judgment or put-downs, alright?”

America suggested an edit to a rule in the file and Steve smiled and jotted it down, glad that she was comfortable enough to speak up. 

“Great,” Steve said and stood up. “Let’s head down to the gym floor and start on stretches.”

“C’mon, princess,” America smirked and stood up, holding her hand out for Kate to take, who was blushing slightly but had her eyebrows raised. Interesting, Steve thought. “Let’s show these boys how we do.”

Kate grinned and took America’s hand, Peter and Harley calling and racing after them. Steve grinned and quickly grabbed their files and placed them on a pile, before grabbing five Avenger’s themed water bottles from the fridge and his tablet, following them down.

When he got to the gym floor, they were still bickering but stretching like Steve had asked, so he let them be and placed the water bottles down on the bench. He felt his phone buzz and he pulled it out, a smile spreading over his face once he saw it was from Bucky.

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _Have fun today, Stevie. You’re gonna do great, I believe in you <3_

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _And say hi to Pete and Harley for me!_

Steve typed out a response and pocketed his phone again, grabbing his tablet and walked over to the group. He clicked a few things and watched amused as all their shocked faces as one side of the gym moved to the obstacle course Steve had designed. 

“Pretty cool, tech, huh?” Steve asked.

Kate raised an eyebrow at him. “Are we going to be subjected to talks about the wonders of modern technology from you?”

Steve laughed, surprised at her bluntness, but shook his head. “No. I’ve gotten used to it now.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Last time I saw you we talked about printers for thirty minutes.”

“Because they’re cool!” Steve held up his hands. “How do they know how to print the picture I want? It’s crazy.”

Everyone laughed and Steve joined in. Yeah, maybe this would work out.

An hour later Steve was standing in the same spot, facing four sweaty teenagers, and thought maybe it wouldn’t work out.

They’d just finished the obstacle course that Steve had designed, and Steve was a little disappointed. He designed it as a team exercise, with certain sections dedicated to each team member's abilities which Steve thought would have forced that team member to stop and help their peers, but that didn’t exactly happen.

All four of them had completed the course by themselves and didn’t help each other all that much. They had completed it, Steve had to give them that. Even Harley who was human and had the smallest amount of training out of them all had done well, despite how heavy he was breathing now.

“Oh no,” Peter pouted, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“What?” Harley whined, leaning over and resting his hands on his knees. “Do we have to do it again?”

“I don’t know,” Peter said. “Steve’s giving us his patented eyebrows of disappointment.”

Steve huffed but didn’t change his facial expression.

“Will we be seeing those a lot?” Kate asked.

America smirked and nudged her with her elbow. “Maybe, if you come in third again, princess.”

Kate opened her mouth to protest but Steve held up his hand, halting her movements. “That’s just the thing, America,” Steve said, crossing his arms. “Third place. First place. It doesn’t matter. This was a team exercise.”

“You didn’t tell us that,” Harley said, breathless and waving his arm at Steve. “He didn’t tell us that!” Harley said to Peter.

“I shouldn’t have too,” Steve said. “You are here to improve yourselves, one hundred per cent, of course, but you’re here to become a team too. What was my golden rule?”

They all responded out of time with words similar to ‘we have each other’s backs’ or ‘we look out for each other’. Steve would drill that into them later.

“Exactly,” Steve pointed to America and Peter. “That big jump in the middle of the course. You both could get over it because you both can fly in your own ways,” he pointed to Kate and Harley. “These two are human and can’t fly, yet you both left them to fend for themselves. What should you have done instead?”

“Grabbed a person each,” Peter sighed. “Taken them with us.”

America’s jaw twitched.

“Perfect, Pete.”

Harley held up his hand. “Technically I’ll be able to fly when I get in the suit.”

“And what happens if the suit malfunctions or you take too much fire? Always good to have a backup plan if something goes wrong.”

Harley nodded sadly.

Steve scanned their faces, noticing that they were either sad, disappointed, or frustrated. He sighed and dropped his hands. “It’s okay, guys. I’m really proud of you today, for both coming and being a part of his program, but for also completing that course. No matter what powers you have or don’t, it was difficult, and you all completed it on your own, which is a massive achievement, so well done.”

Peter grinned and clapped Harley on the back, America and Kate looking at each other briefly and smiling.

“We’re gonna keep doing that course until you can all complete it together, and I’ll make it more difficult each time,” Steve said. “That’s our first goal. I understand that today you all probably would have felt like you needed to prove yourselves to me, to each other, and yourself, but you don’t need to do that, okay? You’re here and you’re doing great.”

“Thanks, Steve,” America nodded. 

Steve smiled at her softly. “Of course,” he clapped his hands together. “Alright, let’s cool down and we’ll have another debrief before I let you all go.”

They all nodded and walked over to the bench to grab their water bottles, which Steve had named for them. They all gulped it down and gratefully took towels from Steve, wiping themselves off before dropping to the ground to stretch.

Steve hadn’t done my physical exercise today but he sat down and joined them. Before he could stretch though, his phone buzzed and he pulled it out to see another text from his boyfriend. 

**Bucky Barnes <3: ** _Win and I are waiting for you to get home. I hope it went well. Can’t wait to hear all about it._

A photo came through after the message, a selfie of Winnie and Bucky smiling broadly at the camera in the kitchen. Steve immediately saved the photo.

“Ooo,” America said, and Steve’s head shot up to see her smirking at him. “Someone’s busy on their phone.”

Steve blushed and looked down at the picture again. “Sorry, it’s my boyfriend.”

America and Kate’s eyebrows rose. It wasn’t common knowledge that ex-Captain America had a boyfriend. Peter and Harley, however, continued with their stretches, already having met Bucky.

“Who is he?” Kate asked, leaning her body towards her outstretched foot. “Cute? Kind? Good in bed?”

“All three,” Steve grinned and held out his phone for the girls to see. America took the phone but held it so they could both see. Steve watched amused as Kate’s face flushed red.

“Oh my god,” she squealed. “He is so fucking hot. What the hell?”

Steve laughed, throwing his head back, as the others did too. Kate took the phone from America and zoomed in on the picture, probably to get a closer look at Bucky.

“Who’s the kid?” America asked.

“Bucky’s kid,” Steve answered and at America’s blank look, continued to explain. “Bucky Barnes is my boyfriend, and that’s Winnie, his daughter. She’s six and the best thing ever.”

Kate cooed but handed the phone back, but froze just as Steve took the phone. “Wait, Bucky Barnes? Is he a professor of history?”

“Yep,” Steve smiled happily, pocketing his phone and returning to his stretching. “I believe your sister Susan is in his class.”

Kate flinched at the name of her sister and Steve filed that away for later. “Yeah, she gushes about her history professor all the time.”

“Buck does the same. Susan is one of his favourites, but don’t tell her I said that. I might get in trouble.”

Kate chuckled awkwardly and stood up to keep stretching.

“As if you wouldn’t love to get in trouble with Professor Barnes,” Peter smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Steve threw a towel at him, which Peter caught with his quick reflexes, grinning hard. “Shut up, Queens.”

“Queens?” Kate asked, looking between Peter and Steve.

“Yeah,” Peter stood up and started to stretch his arms. “Just a nickname. I call him Brooklyn and he calls me Queens because that’s where we grew up.”

Harley raised his hand and Steve huffed but pointed to him. “Yes, Harley?”

“I think we need to add a new rule,” he said, confidently and pointing at Steve. “If Peter gets a nickname, we all do. You gotta come up with ones for the rest of us.”

Steve raised his eyebrows as Kate and America voiced their agreement.

Steve laughed. “Okay, okay. Give me some time to think, but I will.”

“Steve needs one too that we all call him then,” America tilted her head towards Steve.

“Well, it can’t be Cap,” Peter mused. “Cause Sam is Cap and Steve isn’t even the captain of the team.”

Steve watched amused as they all thought in silence for a moment before all their faces lit up at the same time and they all shouted, “Coach!”

“Coach?” Steve asked, looking at them curiously, a weird tingly feeling in his chest.

“Yep,” Harley nodded. “Coach. You are Coach now.”

“Coach,” Steve said. “I like it.”

“Like a football coach,” Peter grinned, but his smile dimmed. “I’ve never been on a football team.”

America shot him a rueful smile. “Neither. I tried, but my school said girls weren’t allowed on the football team.”

Peter’s face scrunched up in anger. “That’s stupid.”

America blinked, maybe a little shocked, as she regarded Peter before slowly saying, “Yeah, yeah, it is.”

The rest of the cooldown consisted of them talking about their favourite sports and teams, and then they headed back up the lounge for a final debrief. They all went to the kitchen and grabbed some snacks, so Steve asked Friday to remind him to always have the kitchen stocked. 

“Okay, final debrief,” Steve said, sitting down with them all on the couch as they munched on their fruit and other snacks. “Every training session will start with a briefing and end with a debrief. Again, these are always an open discussion, so feel free to speak.”

None of them responded, mouths full of food. Steve laughed.

“Firstly, this space is always open for you guys to come and train, or just hang out. You have access to this part of the building, but if anyone bothers you, just get Friday to clear it up, or contact me. I had a really great time today, guys, and I hope you did too. I’m looking forward to spending more time with you all.”

Steve continued the debrief and went back over their talk about teamwork, and what would happen during the next session. He made sure to grab everyone’s phone numbers and put them all into a group chat, sending a message so then they had each other’s numbers as well.

“Thanks, Steve,” Kate said, as they stood up, ready to leave. “Today was great and you’re an awesome coach.”

“Thank you, Kate,” Steve said, squeezing her shoulder. “I’ll see you soon. Get home safe everyone!” 

Steve waved to them all as they left the lounge, and then fell back on the couch with a sigh.

“Are you okay, Captain Rogers?” Friday’s voice filled the room.

Steve grinned up at the ceiling. “More than okay, Friday.”

“I’m glad to hear that, sir.”

“Me too.”

*** 

Before Steve opened the door a few hours later to Bucky’s apartment, he quickly fished out his phone to see messages already in the Young Avengers group chat. He had stayed at the Compound for a little bit to have a drink with his friends but made sure to get back in time to have dinner with Bucky and Winnie.

**Peter Parker:** _What are everyone’s call names going to be again? I wanna put them as our nicknames on here._

***Peter Parker has changed their nickname to Spider-Man***

***Spider-Man has changed Harley Keener’s nickname to Iron-Lad***

***Spider-Man has changed to Steve Rogers’ nickname to Coach***

**Kate Bishop:** _Pretty sure mine will be Hawkeye._

***Spider-Man has changed Kate Bishop’s nickname to Hawkeye***

**America Chavez:** _Ms America for me._

***Spider-Man has changed American Chavez’s nickname to Ms America***

**Spider-Man:** _Oh my god are you going to be the next Captain America?_

**Ms America:** _Well, the plan is to become the next Ms America, but having the Captain in front wouldn’t be too bad._

Steve got a private message from Peter.

**Peter Parker:** _Oh my god, did you see that? She’s so fucking cool._

Steve chuckled and responded before going to open the door, but it was flung open before he could open it himself. Bucky and Winnie were standing there, matching nervous smiles on their faces, but bouncing on the balls of their feet.

“So?” Bucky asked.

“Did you have a good day at work, Stevie?” Winnie asked, taking Steve’s hand and dragging him into the apartment. “Daddy’s been weird so make it better please.”

Steve laughed and picked Winnie up with one arm, wrapping the other around Bucky and pulling his two favourite people into a warm hug.

“I had the best day ever, sunshine,” Steve confessed. “Work was amazing.”

Bucky and Winnie cheered. Steve laughed and kissed them both on the cheek before detangling them all. Bucky had cooked dinner, so it was ready to eat. They sat down on the dining table and talked about their days, Winnie asking a million questions about Steve’s day, and although Steve had to withhold some information from her, he was able to get across that he, so far, loved his new job.

After dinner, they watched a few episodes of Miraculous Ladybug and Cat Noir before they got Winnie ready for bed. They kissed her goodnight and then spent some time kissing each other on the couch before Bucky sighed and pulled away to get them a drink from the kitchen.

“So, it was a really good day?” Bucky asked, probably wondering if Steve was just acting that way in front of Winnie.

“It really was,” Steve confessed, getting up to take the glass of water Bucky put on the kitchen bench for him. “The kids are amazing. They have a lot of work to do, and I was a little disappointed at their lack of teamwork, but I guess I can’t fault them. Tony and I tried to rip each other’s heads off right before the Battle of New York. It will come in time.”

Bucky hummed and took a sip from his glass, smiling at Steve as he put it down. “You got along with all of them too?”

Steve nodded, leaning against the counter. “Yeah. America and Kate are both standoffish, but that’s okay. I’m sure they’ll let me in soon. America was flirting with Kate the whole time, though. Kept calling her princess.”

Bucky laughed. “How did Kate respond?”

“Lot’s of blushing and raising her eyebrows. But when you texted me that picture, they all wanted to see and you should have seen her face when she saw you. She thinks you’re very attractive.”

Bucky smiled, amused. “And how do you feel about me?”

Steve’s heart started to beat faster, but he ignored it and placed a smirk on his face, rounding the counter to press his boyfriend against it. “Oh, I think you know how I feel about you.”

Bucky tilted his head up for a kiss. “Do I? I don’t remember. Maybe you gotta show me.”

Steve closed the distance between them, and they spent some time kissing with heat and slowness. Eventually, Steve pulled away breathing a lot harder than before. 

“Come on,” Bucky said, tracing Steve’s lip with his finger. “I want you to tell me everything about your day from start to finish so I can brag to Sam that you told me first.”

“Whatever you want, baby.”

Steve did tell Bucky everything, in great detail, but Bucky didn’t seem bored or uninterested. His eyes did start to droop later, so Steve decided it was time to go to bed. He went back to his place next door to have a quick shower and get changed, before coming back to Bucky’s place and locking the door behind him.

Bucky was in bed but held up the covers so Steve could wiggle his way into the bed with him. They kissed sweetly before wishing each other goodnight, and Steve fell asleep with a smile on his face.

***

Steve woke to a little person’s hand on his cheek and someone's breath on his face. He blinked groggily, slightly startled and saw Winnie peering at him, clutching a blanket and tears in her eyes. He quickly became on high alert, sleep leaving his brain as panic flooded his chest. 

“Winnie?” he asked, quietly, sitting up and scooping her up in his arms. She clutched onto his shoulder as he stroked the hair out of his face. “What’s up, sunshine?”

“Nightmare,” Winnie said, her lower lip trembling.

“Oh, honey,” Steve’s heart melted and he wrapped her closer in his arms. With his foot, he gently kicked Bucky in the leg who woke with a start, making Winnie giggle, and looked around warily.

“‘eve?” Bucky asked, sleepy, rubbing his eyes as he turned out. His eyes went wide once he saw Winnie and he leant forward, wrapping his arm around her tightly.

“Winnie? What happened? You okay, bub?”

“Nightmare,” Steve answered for her as she sniffed.

Bucky frowned, his brow furrowing. “Oh, that sucks so much. Do you want to tell us about it?”

Winnie nodded and wiggled until she was sitting between the two men, facing them as they sat up resting their backs against the headboard of the bed. “There was a chicken.”

Steve held back his laugh because it was completely inappropriate. “A chicken, sunshine?”

“Yeah. A ginormous chicken was chasing me on the road. I took one of its eggs from its nest because it was bullying Lucy!”

Bucky shot Steve a look towards Steve as if telling him it was his fault that Winnie stood up to bullies, but Steve just raised his eyebrows back to say, ‘well you raised her’.

“That’s very scary,” Bucky said, rubbing Winnie’s back gently. “That chicken was very mean.”

“So mean,” Winnie agreed.

“But there are no chickens here,” Steve assured her. “A chicken won’t hurt you.”

“Cause you’ll protect me?” Winnie asked with her big blue puppy dog eyes.

“Of course, sunshine. Dad and I will protect you.”

Winnie nodded, satisfied, and moved around the bed until she was under the covers in between Steve and Bucky. The two men looked at each other, surprised, before shrugging and moving so they were under the covers too. 

Winnie turned to kiss Bucky. “I love you, Daddy,” she turned and kissed Steve too. “I love you, Stevie.”

She then closed her eyes, holding her blanket close to her chest. Steve blinked, surprised at the sudden threat of tears building behind his eyes. That was such a cute domestic moment, Steve was momentarily swept away in the bliss of it. He felt like he was drowning but in a good way. 

Steve came back to reality when he felt Bucky’s finger softly brush through his hair. He smiled at Bucky, an automatic reaction whenever seeing the face of the love of his life. 

“Well it ain’t hard,” Bucky said, quietly, eyes flickering across Steve's face.

Steve looked at him confused and Bucky’s lips twitched.

“It ain’t hard loving you, Steve Rogers. I would know.”

A small gasp left Steve’s mouth, the tide of emotion coming back and knocking him off his feet. Bucky grinned fully then, and with his messy bed hair, sleep in his eyes, face squished on the pillow, Steve thought that he had never looked so beautiful.

“I love you,” Bucky confessed, so quiet. “I love you.”

“I-” Steve started, and shifted a little, sitting up on his elbows to place a tender kiss on Bucky’s forehead, then rested his own forehead against Bucky’s, Winnie below and in between them. “I love you too, Bucky Barnes.”

Bucky grinned hard, smashing his lips against Steve’s quickly before pulling back, his eyes sparkling and his grin softening to a dopey smile that probably matched the one on Steve’s face. The room felt alive with sunlight dancing through the air, weaving Steve and Bucky's hearts together. It was beautiful and monumental and Steve had never felt so warm. _Bucky Barnes loved him._ He had reached a peak in his life, and he knew that as long as they loved each other he would never fall through the clouds back to the cold, harsh ground. 

“I love you three!” Winnie cried, patting Steve and Bucky on the neck. “Now let’s go to bed, please.”

Steve howled in laughter as Bucky gasped and tickled Winnie’s stomach with his hand. She wiggled and writhed on the bed, trying to escape her dad’s hand, shifting towards Steve, who wrapped his arms around her and held her away from Bucky.

Bucky watched them fondly, eyes flickering across the two of them as if he was trying to memorise everything to keep forever. Steve felt much the same.

“Okay, sweetie, you’re right. Bedtime.”

Steve kissed Winnie loudly on the head and placed her down in the bed, resting his arm across her stomach to hold Bucky’s hand.

He fell asleep to Bucky and Winnie’s voices in his head, softly saying that they loved him. He had never slept so peacefully. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH i just realised how close we are to the end!! this is the second last chapter, and then the epilogue, and then done!!
> 
> i hope you liked it? were the kids okay? did you like the declaration of love?
> 
> also do you have any nickname ideas for the kids? is there anything from the comics? i have some ideas but wouldn't mind some input from y'all.
> 
> love you <3


	14. I'm on sunshine, baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
> 
> “Yeah, together,” Bucky whispered, turning his body slightly to see Winnie waving at them from the balcony, smock on and paint already all over her hands.
> 
> Steve had never wanted to stick around for a sex talk so badly in all his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh gosh, this is the last chapter. I can’t believe it’s nearly done!! 
> 
> there's lots of little things I love about this chapter, so I hope you feel the same!!! 
> 
> title from Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves

Steve woke to Winnie kicking him in the stomach.

“Oof,” Steve said, cradling his stomach as Winnie scrambled out the bed yelling about school. “I swear she is the only kid excited about going to school.” He grumbled, rolling over to face Bucky mid-yawn. 

Bucky rolled his eyes and got out of bed, stretching his arm above his head and revealing a line of his stomach that Steve’s eyes immediately found. “Yeah, well, we’ll just have to wait and pray that it continues into her teenage years.”

God. Teenage year. With Steve still present.

“Hey,” Steve caught Bucky’s hand as he passed him, about to head out and help Winnie get ready for school. “I love you so much.”

Steve felt life and love flood his lungs and veins at the casual intimacy of telling someone you love them. Steve can say that now, any time he wants, and he knows Bucky feels the same way. It's liberating and warm, and perfect. The Steve Rogers of six months ago would have been gawking at the Steve Rogers of now. He's come a long way. 

Bucky’s face softened, his hair all sticking up on one side, and he dropped to his knees so he could kiss Steve better. “I love you so much, too. Good morning, sweetheart.”

“Morning,” Steve hummed, kissing Bucky again.

Bucky pulled back so abruptly that he fell on his butt. “Oh my god,” he squeaked. “Winnie slept here with us last night and heard us confess our undying love to each other.”

Steve’s heart fluttered at the thought of undying love, but his eyes quickly widened when he realised what Bucky meant.

“Fuck,” Steve said, getting out of bed and helping Bucky up. “ _Fuck!”_

Bucky ran a shaky head through his hair, making it even worse. “We’ve fucked up majorly. All the websites I’ve read said that we should have told her about us in a controlled environment with a fucking plan!”

They’d talk about talking to Winnie about them in passing, but Steve was letting Bucky set the pace on that front. They’d done some research but hadn’t had any major discussions past that. This was definitely not the way they wanted it to go though.

“What do we do?” Bucky stressed, gripping Steve’s shoulder roughly. “I need to tell her that I love her and that she’s still the most important thing in my life and that you would never come in the way of that and ask her is she’s okay with us dating and, oh God, what if this fucks her up emotionally development, oh no-"

“Bucky,” Steve said, cupping both sides of Bucky’s face with his hands, effectively cutting off his rambling. “Breathe, honey, breathe. We’ll figure this out, okay? How about you check on Winnie now, make sure she’s okay, and we can talk to her after school? We’ll spend all day planning it.”

“Yep,” Bucky nodded, closing his eyes and letting out a slow breath. “Okay, that’s good. Sounds like a plan.”

Bucky kissed him quickly before running out the door to find his daughter.

“Fuck,” Steve hung his head, rubbing his forehead. “Okay, Rogers. Damage control, plan of attack, loves of your life. You’ve got this.”

They got Winnie ready for school quickly and Bucky ushered her out the door with a quick goodbye to Steve. Steve packed away the clothes Winnie had thrown everywhere and cleaned up the mess in the kitchen from breakfast, before having a shower and getting changed. He was just making a coffee for Bucky when Bucky walked through the door, resting his back against it.

“All good?” Steve asked.

Bucky shrugged. “Give me coffee, a laptop and your undivided attention and then we’ll see.”

So that’s what happened. They had a coffee together before grabbing their laptops and doing more extensive research about kids and parents relationships and then had a lengthy discussion on how to go about it. 

Steve mentally patted himself on the back. Although the circumstances weren’t ideal, he and Bucky were communicating in an honest way, and it was healthy. 

Steve picked Winnie up from school and listened to her chat her heart out, looking for any signs of distress or confusion at the blatant display of Steve and Bucky’s relationship last night. There was none, but Steve didn’t let out a sigh of relief because all of the parent blogs said that things could turn south quickly.

Bucky had made some snacks up before they’d gotten home, so they sat at the kitchen bench and watched Winnie scoff them down. 

“Hey, Winnie?” Bucky said like they had agreed upon as she ate the last of the crackers. “Do you think that Steve and I could please have a talk with you? You aren’t in trouble, and nothing is wrong, we just want to chat.”

Winnie swallowed the crackers and reached for her water bottle, which Steve gladly handed over. “Okie dokie. Is it about me going to space?”

Bucky and Steve looked at each other quickly before turning back to Winnie. “No. Why would you be going to space?”

Winnie rolled her eyes and jumped off the kitchen stool, Bucky and Steve following her to the couch. “We watched this super cool video in school today and this lady was saying that going to space will happen soon. She showed us these awesome drawings of schools and cars and cities on planets that she said humans will make, so I want to go to space school!”

Bucky looked at Steve obviously wondering if his boyfriend had any top secrets about humans colonising other planets. Steve shrugged helplessly and sat down next to Bucky on the coffee table, Winnie on the couch in front of them.

“Well, that sounds super awesome,” Bucky smiled at her. “But I don’t think you’ll go to space school. I’d miss you too much!”

Winnie crossed her arms and looked at her dad like he was an idiot. “You would come with me, duh. And Steve too.”

Steve couldn’t stop the soft smile from spreading across his lips at being included in Winnie’s future space plans. He’d move to another planet for Winnie, no hesitation.

“Alright, baby,” Bucky held out his hand and Winnie slipped hers through his to tangle their fingers together. Bucky kissed her hand softly. “I love you so so so much. So much I could fill a super-duper big pool with all my love for you,” Winnie giggled. “You are the most important thing in my life and I promise that will never change, okay?”

Winnie nodded. “I love you too, Daddy,” she let go of Bucky’s hand and held her arms out as wide as she could. “This much!”

Bucky laughed softly. “Wow, that’s so much. Thank you, Winnie.”

Steve gently poked Winnie’s barefoot, and she giggled and tried to squirm out of the way. “I love you too, sunshine. So much. I always want you to be happy and safe.”

“And you know how there are different types of love?” Bucky asked Winnie, taking back her hand. “Like, there’s the way that I love you and you love me. And the way you love to paint. Or the way that Grandma and Pa love each other?”

Winnie nodded.

“Well, I have something important to tell you,” Bucky bumped his shoulder gently with Steve’s, who smiled as a reflex. “I love Steve like Grandma and Pa love each other. And Steve loves me the same way.”

Winnie tilted her head to the side. “Like you said last night?”

“Exactly like that,” Steve agreed. “You know how some people have boyfriends and girlfriends and partners? Well, your dad is my boyfriend and partner. We’re in a relationship.”

“Like in the movies?”

“Yeah, like in the movies.”

Winnie’s face scrunched up in disgust. Steve and Bucky immediately sat up straighter, waiting for her reaction. She mimed vomiting. “Does that mean you try and make babies like in the movies?”

Steve couldn’t stop the bark of laughter coming from his mouth and he clutched his stomach, trying to keep it in as Bucky leapt forward in shock, grabbing Winnie’s arm. “Oh my god, that is a conversation we are going to have in a decade, Jesus Christ. What kind of movies are you watching?”

Winnie shrugged her dad’s hand off of her. “The ones you put on the TV.”

Steve laughed again but abruptly stopped when Bucky shot him a glare. He quickly sobered up as Bucky continued to talk.

“We want you to know that you can ask us any questions at any time,” Bucky brushed the hair away from Winnie’s eyes. “We want to be honest with you and-”

“Steve, have you ever gotten my dad flowers?” Winnie asked, raising her eyebrows at Steve who suddenly felt like he was in an interrogation.

“Uh, yes, I have.” Steve nodded.

Winnie leaned towards her dad, putting a hand up in front of her mouth as if she was telling a secret, but she spoke too loudly for the full effect. “He’s a keeper, Dad.”

Bucky chuckled and quickly kissed Winnie on the check. “He definitely is. But I need you to come to me if you have any questions or concerns, okay? You’re the most important thing in our lives and we always want you to be happy.”

“How are you feeling about this, sunshine?” Steve asked, taking Bucky’s hand to hold and show Winnie. “Are you okay?”

Winnie’s eyebrows scrunched together and her eyes roamed over Bucky and Steve, both men holding their breath at this make or break moment. “I’m okay,” Winnie beamed.

Bucky let out a sigh of relief and dropped Steve’s hand to scoop Winnie into their laps and Steve enveloped them in a group hug. Winnie giggled and shifted closer to them, Bucky kissed her forehead then Steve’s. “I love you both.”

“We love you too!” Winnie and Steve parroted back, and they all dissolved into giggles.

When Winnie detangled herself from them stating she wanted to do a painting of them, Bucky pressed his forehead against Steve’s. “That went okay, didn’t it?”

“Yeah it did, Barnes. Not too bad, apart from the sex thing.”

Bucky groaned and dropped his head to Steve’s shoulder, whose hand immediately came up to cradle the back of Bucky’s head. “ _Sex._ I didn’t think we were there yet.”

Steve moved his lips to Bucky’s ear. “I’m pretty sure we’ve been there for _weeks_ , honey.”

Bucky shivered but slapped Steve’s shoulder as he pulled back. “You know what I mean.”

Steve nodded and kissed Bucky quickly, loving the feeling of being able to kiss Bucky whenever he wanted. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

“Yeah, together,” Bucky whispered, turning his body slightly to see Winnie waving at them from the balcony, smock on and paint already all over her hands.

Steve had never wanted to stick around for a sex talk so badly in all his life. 

***

The next day Steve heads back up to the Compound for the second Young Avengers training. They’d decided that for now, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays worked best for everyone, which would be subjected to change once their summer holidays were over and they all went back to their respective educations. 

It worked out perfectly for Steve too. Even though he had missed out on bingo yesterday at the Senior’s Club because he and Bucky had to talk about Winnie, having Young Avengers training on those three days meant he could still have date nights with Bucky, pick Winnie up from school, and go to the Senior’s club for bingo and gardening on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Things were starting to look sunny side up. 

They start with the obstacle course, which Steve had made more difficult just like he had promised, and the team actually helped each other out a little more. It wasn’t perfect by a long shot. Harley was always at the back and that would have left him vulnerable to attack. 

Steve told them as much but they had worked together in some parts, so he also made sure to tell them he was proud of them. They all beamed at him with varying intensities of happiness. 

After the course they spent some time sparring, Steve walking around them and pointing out flaws or perfections. They’d all had some degree of training before this, Peter and Kate especially, but they all took the feedback in stride because there was still room for improvement.

“So,” Peter said, wiping his face of sweat during their cool down. Steve was sitting down with the others to stretch. “Date night tonight, Coach. What are you two doing?”

“Going out for dinner and then seeing a show at a local theatre,” Steve grinned, cheeks a little pink as he thought about another date night with Bucky and a warm feeling in his stomach at being called Coach.

“Oh my god,” Kate covered her face with her hands. “You guys have date nights?”

Steve grinned. “Every Wednesday.”

America mimed gagging. “That’s so domestic.”

“That’s the point,” Steve shrugged. “In our line of work we can sometimes not get a lot of downtime and you can easily lose yourself, so it’s important to find the things, or people, that can help you. Bucky’s my person.”

America gagged again but she couldn’t hide the small smile on her face from Steve. 

Date night was perfect, as it always was. They went to a really nice restaurant and got to drink delicious wine before strolling a few blocks to a local theatre to see a small play. They laughed and they cried a little, and then went back to Bucky’s place to relieve Becca of her babysitting duties.

“You know,” Becca said, grabbing her handbag and raising her eyebrows at the two men. “She asked me a million questions about you guys. Nothing bad,” she said, holding her hand up when both of them opened their mouth to ask _her_ a million questions. “Just stuff about you three moving to space and living together on Mars? And if I’d visit?”

Bucky rolled his eyes and slumped into Steve’s side. “She watched this space video in school and now she thinks we’re moving to space.”

Becca patted Bucky and Steve on the cheeks. “Well, I think you already are. She was packing a bag.”

Steve and Bucky groaned, but Becca’s laughter was louder as she left the apartment and closed the door behind her.

Bucky turned his body towards Steve and slipped his hand around Steve’s neck. He looked at Steve with large blue eyes, a slow smile curling his lips. With his dark jeans and sharp blazer, Steve wanted to rip him apart. “Wanna move to space to live with a six-year-old with a hyperactive imagination and her amputee dad?”

“ _Yes,”_ Steve said, crushing his lips to Bucky as the other man laughed.

The next day was Thursday, and with Thursday comes gardening at the Senior’s Club. He spent a lot more time with Jane and Victor as they were much calmer than the gang he had found himself with who were on the other side of the garden heckling each other and throwing dirt.

“And how’s your life coming along, Steve?” Victor asked, wiping his forehead and then leaving a smudge of dirt across it. Jane sighed and pulled out a handkerchief from her pocket, smiling fondly at her husband as she held his jaw and wiped away the dirt.

“Really good,” Steve said, digging a hole at his feet with the little spade he had been given. “I just started a new job doing what I love with really great people that I can see myself becoming close with. I’m here and making new friends, my boyfriend’s daughter wants me to move to space with her which means that she doesn’t care that her dad and I are dating, and the sex with my boyfriend it great,” Steve shrugged, grinning hard at Victor’s eye roll and Jane’s wink. 

“Well, I’m for one really happy that you’re happy, Steve,” Jane patted Steve on the shoulder with her delicate hand. “You’ve lived one hell of a life, and you deserve this.”

“Thank you, Jane.”

Pretty soon he was harassed enough that he had to join his friends for brunch at their table inside. They updated Steve on what had happened over the past week since his last visit, Dottie, Bonnie, and Jack all gossiping. He filled them in on his life too, and they all congratulated him on Bucky and his coming out to Winnie.

The next night was the monthly Avengers catch up, but Bucky decided not to join Winnie or Steve for the journey.

“Oh,” Steve said, tilting his head to the side, utterly confused as to why Bucky wouldn’t want to join them. “But the kids are coming too. You can meet America and Kate.”

“And I really want to, believe me,” Bucky said, taking Steve’s hand with his. “But if you’re staying for training tomorrow and Winnie’s staying for ballet, I won’t be able to make it back in time for the group session at the VA I was looking at.”

“Ah,” Steve nodded his head in understanding.

“And I’m going to Marta and Sofia’s place tomorrow night too,” Bucky’s thumb brushed over Steve’s knuckles. “I think that a massive family catch up, then going to the VA, and _then_ a book club trial might be too much for me.”

Steve kissed Bucky tenderly on the forehead, trying to force away the wrinkles that had formed because of his boyfriend’s frown. “Honey, that’s okay. You can have a quiet, relaxing night alone, okay? You deserve it, and you’ll need it for tomorrow. I’ll take care of Winnie and tell the kids that you couldn’t make it, but wish you were there.”

“I’ll meet them soon,” Bucky said softly, resting his forehead on Steve’s shoulder. “I want to meet them because I know how important they are becoming to you, but you’re right. I need this.”

Both Steve and Winnie gave Bucky big kisses and cuddles before getting in the car together and going to the Compound.

The meeting of Winnie, America, and Kate could not have gone better in Steve’s head. Both of the girls responded so well to Winnie’s excitement and were happy to entertain her for a little bit so Steve could grab a drink. When he got back, Winnie was on America’s hip and holding Kate’s hand as they told the story of Steve tripping over during training earlier that week.

“Okay, sunshine,” Steve said, taking Winnie away from America and putting her on the ground. “That’s enough talking to Kate and America, yeah? They’re going to have heaps of super embarrassing stories about me as we keep working together and I don’t want those getting back to you,” Steve gently poked Winnie on the nose, making her giggle. “Why don’t you go find Aunty Nat?”

Winnie quickly poked Steve on the nose and then darted off to find Natasha. Steve turned to America and Kate.

“So, girls,” Steve said, smiling. “Have you met everyone yet?” 

“Nope,” Kate said, looking around the room with a little awe and terror. “Lots of people here we have to impress.”

“Hey,” Steve said, shaking his head and throwing an arm around their shoulders, turning them to look out across the Common Room at the bunch of losers gathered there. “You’re here because you deserve it and are meant to be here. Yeah, you gotta be nice to them because they’re gonna be your family and colleagues, but if they don’t like you I’m happy to take a swing at them.”

America laughed and shrugged Steve’s arm off her shoulder, patting his bicep. “I think we can take our own swings, Coach.”

“That you can.” Steve grinned and then led them over to Maria Hill for introductions.

He stayed with them for most of the night, Winnie filtering between people. He noticed that they were nervous and he didn’t want to leave them in a situation they didn’t feel comfortable with. They noticed because of course they did, but they gave him each a small smile and let him boast about the work they were doing and their abilities to anyone who would listen.

The night ended with Winnie sleeping in Steve’s bed because they both missed Bucky. 

For the training session the next day, Steve had planned to spend some one on one time with everyone because they’d had more time together. He got them to demonstrate all their abilities, both natural, enhanced and technological, so he could see what he needed to work with. 

He gave them homework, much to their disappointment and cries stating that he was their coach, not their teacher, but they all left exhausted and happy. Steve counted it as a win.

Winnie’s ballet was a success as usual, but they spent the drive back to the apartment talking about Bucky going back to the VA and how Winnie needed to be gentle and quiet with Bucky when they got back home.

When Steve opened the door, Winnie slowly walked in and over to her dad on the couch, crawling into his lap to give him a big cuddle. Bucky looked at Steve over Winnie’s shoulder, eyes watering a little, and mouthed the words thank you. Steve nodded and got the snacks out that he had prepared last time, and the three of them spent the rest of the day watching Christmas movies in June.

Right before dinner was ready there was a knock at the door. Bucky had recharged, mostly, and gotten changed into some more presentable clothes, and opened the door. Hugo and Diego came barrelling into the apartment, a bag full of their toys with them.

Marta sighed and banged her head against the doorframe. “I don’t know about you, _hermoso,_ but I’m really looking forward to this.”

“I hear you,” Bucky said, grabbing his phone from the kitchen bench. “Let’s go before they get even rowdier.”

“Wow,” Steve flipped the tea towel over his shoulder and walked over to the front door, the sounds of Hugo, Diego and Winnie bickering in the background. “I love you too, babe.”

Bucky smiled softly and kissed him. “I do love you. Like a lot, but not as much as I love drinking wine with Marta and Sofia.”

Steve's heart nearly exploded. Marta laughed behind Bucky and Steve glared at her. “Are you and your wife planning to steal my boyfriend?”

“Of course,” Marta shrugged, taking Bucky’s hand and tugging him closer to her. Bucky went willing which made Steve mock glare harder. “With a face and butt like that, why wouldn’t we?”

“You’re both gay?” Bucky said, raising his eyebrows.

Marta waved him away. “So? You are too and yet you keep Sofia around for her face and butt.”

“You caught me there,” Bucky laughed, kissing Steve softly one more time as a goodbye, the door closing behind him. 

Steve sighed and turned around seeing all three children standing there, dead quiet, and looking at him like they wanted to eat him alive and bury him six feet under. Steve sighed and opened his mouth, about to suggest they eat dinner before they all cried his name and charged at him, climbing him like a tree as they tried and pinned him to the ground.

Steve rolled his eyes and walked to the kitchen, two kids wrapped around his legs and one hanging off his arm.

If this was what was going to happen every Saturday, then Steve really needed to find a babysitter and get into that book club. 

The next week they followed their new routine. Steve trained with the new team on Monday and Wednesday and went to bingo and gardening on Tuesday and Thursday. It was busy and he was exhausted by the time he crawled into bed with Bucky, but damn it, he was happy.

On Friday he went to the Senior’s Club, not as a member, but as an instructor. Antonio had organised for him to teach an art class, and if it was successful, then he’d be offered the job every Friday.

Steve was excited but nervous. But as he looked out at the group that had come for the class, all sitting in chairs pulled out into the back yard, Dottie smirking at him, Jack and Stan grinning at him, Jane and Victor with soft smiles, he suddenly didn’t feel so nervous.

It was a basic lesson. He wasn’t there to teach technique or skill, more just to guide them through a painting and let them express themselves. He had decided they’d draw or paint, depending on the person’s preference, some of the veggies they had dug up the day before.

He probably spent more time in stitches of laughter than actually doing any artwork himself. The group were an absolute hoot and with creative and sometimes very dark humour. Steve didn’t have this much fun making art with anyone besides Winnie, and it seemed like the others had enjoyed it too.

The next day, after training, he got a text from Beth, the boss at the Senior’s Club, offering him the position permanently which he gladly accepted. 

The next day, training went great just like it always does. The kids beat their time on the obstacle course by a whole thirty seconds and Steve declared they’d finish training the following Monday early and get ice cream as a treat. He basked in the chorus of “Thanks, Coach!”. 

When he said goodbye to all the kids, feeling a deep sense of accomplishment, he headed to the Common Room to see who was around as Winnie still had a little bit of her ballet lesson with Nat to go.

When he walked into the Common Room it was empty, all except for Sam sitting at the kitchen bench, laptop open, phone to his ear, cold tea next to him and the TV on the news muted in the background.

Steve walked over and smiled at Sam as he rounded the bench, grabbing himself a glass of water as Sam spoke to someone on the phone.

“I understand, sir,” a beat. “Thank you, sir, you too,” Sam nearly slammed the phone down on the bench, making Steve jump, as he swore loudly. “ _Fucking asshole.”_

“Woah,” Steve said, setting down his glass, noticing Sam’s eye twitching as his face twisted into rage. He had never seen Sam this angry before. “What’s up, Sam?”

“Racist assholes,” Sam spat, typing something fast onto his laptop. “That’s what’s up.”

Steve’s fists clenched. “Who are they and where are they?”

“They’re congress people and the media in general,” Sam sighed, pinching his nose. “I appreciate you wanting to punch them, but even that’s too many people for you to punch.”

Steve cocked an eyebrow in a challenge which made Sam laugh.

“Are they being general racist assholes?” Steve asked, slowly. “Or racist directly to you?”

Sam dropped his hand and looked at Steve closely, his eyes roaming over Steve’s face before he sighed and waved his hand through the air. “It’s Captain America stuff, you don’t need to worry. I’m fine.”

Steve frowned. He hasn’t been oblivious and not paying attention to the news. He had seen people question Sam’s ability to be the symbol of America purely based on the colour of his skin, but he had honestly thought that those people were in the minority. Judging by Sam’s reaction, it seemed they weren’t and Steve internally cursed himself for his privilege. It didn’t matter that those racist assholes were in the minority, they shouldn’t even exist, and no matter how large a group, they have obviously been affecting Sam.

“You know, Sam,” Steve said, taking his glass and sitting down next to Sam on a kitchen stool. “You don’t have to avoid Captain America with me. If you need to talk about anything, I’m here for you. You know that, right?”

Sam sighed and gave him a small smile of appreciation, hiding the gap in the front of his teeth. “I know, man. And I appreciate it, but I’m trying to give you a little time and space from that life.”

Steve rolled his eyes but reached out to squeeze Sam’s hand. “Fuck time and space. I’ve had so much of it. You’re my best friend, so I’m here if you fucking need me, okay?”

Sam’s shoulders slumped. “Okay.”

“Now, what’s up?”

They spent the next hour talking about all the backlash and questioning Sam’s received lately for being black and being Captain America. Steve nearly broke his glass multiple times from clenching it so hard, so fucking angry with the world. Sam is more than capable of taking on the shield, and the colour of his skin has nothing to do with it. In fact, the colour of his skin would help inspire so much more people than Steve ever could.

Sam’s black and proud, and he shouldn’t have to hide the fact. He confesses to Steve that the government has a new candidate for the shield, someone named John Walker, who’s the ‘perfect American ideal’. Steve offers to call some people and put them in their place, but Sam asks him to hold off on that for now.

They also spend some time talking about all the support from the black and colour community that Sam’s received, which makes him tear up. Sam showed Steve a folder of photos he has saved onto his phone. He’s saved every photo he’s come across that people had sent or tagged him in of them dressed up Captain America. His favourite are the little black kids with the shield, which makes Steve burst with happiness.

That is what the shield is for.

The next day, Steve and Bucky decide to make the half-hour drive to Brighton Beach in Brooklyn with Winnie to have a family beach day. They head out after lunch, sunscreen covering every inch of visible skin.

They take some photos before they chase Winnie to the water’s edge, then spend hours rotating between sunbaking and playing in the sand to splashing and swimming in the water. Steve gets a picture of Winnie sitting on top of a sandcastle she made, wet hair plastered to her face, smiling broadly but her teeth are hidden by the green of the end of a watermelon piece giving herself a watermelon smile.

They get fish and chips for dinner and sit on the beach, watching the sun turn from blue to purple to pink to orange to black. Winnie falls asleep as soon as she’s in the car, and Steve hold’s Bucky’s hand as Steve drives them home. 

Steve follows through with his ice cream promise with the Young Avengers the next day. They finish an hour and a half early because Steve’s so proud he could burst. They beat their Saturday record by another ten seconds today.

He had made sure that Friday had ordered tubs of everyone’s favourite ice cream flavours, and they sit in the lounge of the second floor of their training facility, a playlist they had created playing from Friday’s speakers.

Steve can see the friendships forming before his eyes and it’s beautiful. He already knew that Harley and Peter were thick as thieves, and it’s good to see them working together so well despite the bickering and calling each other names. America has only increased flirting with Kate as they get to know each other, and Steve notes with a smirk that Kate’s been flirting right back.

Kate’s also gotten close with Harley as the only two on the team without any superpowers. She’s been spending time with him outside their schedule training to help him with his hand to hand combat, and Steve makes sure to thank and praise her. 

Steve’s a little concerned about the relationship between America and Peter. Both are very strong and capable, especially with their enhancements. They’ve also suffered a great deal of trauma in their short lives, and Steve thinks they could really bond with that, but somethings holding them back.

Steve suspects it’s because they’re both natural leaders and are having difficulties trying to find their dynamics with each other and within the team. They’re a little like him and Tony when the Avengers first started, but with a lot less fighting. America’s cold and Peter’s too polite, but Steve thinks they’ll be able to get over it eventually, with time. 

Kate gets up to grab them some of the sugary snacks from the cupboard, and Steve hold’s out his empty glass of water to her.

“Can you please refill this with water for me, Knight?” He asks.

Kate stops short, her lips twitching. “Sorry, what did you just call me?”

A blinding smile splits across Steve’s face as the four of them look at him, amusement clear on their faces. “Knight with a K. Your nickname.”

“Um, Coach,” Harley says. “What the hell does that mean?”

Peter laughs. “Well, I’m Queens and she’s Knight. He’s probably going with chess pieces like the nerd he is.”

Steve points to Peter in agreement. “Exactly. See? Makes sense, Rook.”

Everyone laughed as Harley rolled his eyes. “Rook as in the chess piece but also as in rookie because I’m the newest to the game?”

Steve grinned and nodded. 

“And what’s mine?” America asked, a smirk playing on her lips.

“King.”

She nodded, her smirk turning into a smile as he held up her hand for a high five, which Steve gladly accepted. “Nice, thanks, Coach.”

“Anytime, King.”

Steve goes to bingo the next day and is accosted to return the next day for the Wednesday dance class because this week is the salsa.

“And bring your handsome boyfriend!” Dottie says, clutching his arms. “I want to meet him.”

Steve chuckled. “I’ll talk to him about it.”

Steve does and Bucky smiles, shrugging. “Well, it is the four-month anniversary of our first date on Friday. Let’s celebrate it with learning to salsa.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Bucky kisses him on the cheek lightly. “Plus, I want to meet your friends.”

He and Bucky dress up a little in nice jeans and button-down shirts, taking the painting of the three of them Winnie had done the previous week to the Senior’s Club with them. It’s one of Steve’s favourites, with Winnie holding the hands of each of them, standing in the middle of them. She’s drawn a large sun in the corner of the portrait, and drawn arrows and written their names above their heads.

It’s a family painting and Steve sticks it on the front desk of the club. He takes a picture, and he and Bucky whisper to themselves about how Winnie’s is by far the best one up there. 

They walk out into the Hall hand in hand and are quickly swarmed by Steve’s friends, who all take turns hugging them and taking pieces of Bucky. Steve introduces them all and Bucky charms the pants off all of them, Steve standing next to him with a proud smile on his face.

Soon the instructors, a woman and man by the names of Ritha and Alejandro, from an outside company ask everyone to grab a partner and find a spot on the dance floor, which was the same space as where they play bingo except the tables had been removed.

Dottie takes Bucky’s hand and Steve’s eyes widen in shock before she laughs and gently pushes Bucky back to Steve.

Steve possessively grabs Bucky’s hand and they find a spot on the dance floor, listening to the instructor’s voice as they guide them through the steps slowly. It’s a little weird at first because Bucky only has one hand, but that means they just have to stand closer, and Steve's okay with that.

“You know,” Steve whispers to Bucky once the instructors give them a chance to do the dance themselves. Steve is terrible, but it makes Bucky laugh and smile, so he thinks it’s okay. “Right before I crashed the plane, Peggy and I were planning to go dancing.”

“Yeah?” Bucky whispers back softly, their foot moving in time below them. Steve wonders for a second if the tape of that conversation is out in public, but brushes the thought away. Peggy would have never let that happen.

“Yeah,” Steve smiles sadly. “A week,” he recites, putting on a terrible English accent. “Next Saturday at the Stork Club. Eight o’clock on the dot. Don’t you dare be late. Understood?”

They’re silent for a moment and then Steve keeps talking.

“She told me that she went to the Stork Club that Saturday afterwards, stayed until eight-thirty and went home crying. But when I woke up and found her again, we went dancing.”

“Really long rain check, huh, Stevie?” Bucky laughs.

Steve’s heart clenches. “That’s exactly what she said.”

Bucky grins and kisses his cheek quickly. 

“The point of this,” Steve stops their feet from moving, looking Bucky in the eye. “Is because I want to say that I’m so very happy and grateful that I get to dance with you.”

Bucky’s face softens. “Me too, Steve, me too.”

As they start to move again, Steve steps on Bucky’s feet.

“Even if you keep stepping on my feet!”

The next night, the night before their four-month anniversary, Bucky wakes up in the middle of the night with a nightmare. 

It’s just as terrifying for Steve as the last one, but at least now he knows what to do. He vocally encourages Bucky out of the nightmare and grabs him a glass of water when he says it’s okay for Steve to leave the room. He makes sure that Bucky feels safe and knows where he is, and once Bucky gives the go-ahead, he wraps the love of his life in his arms tightly and presses a kiss to every inch of skin he can find.

They have a quiet talk about the nightmare and Steve’s heart clenches as Bucky cries.

“It was bound to happen,” Bucky confesses shakily. “I was thinking of talking to Bridget, the other amputee parents, this Sunday so that’s probably what triggered it. I thought it was meant to get better,” Bucky’s voice broke and Steve couldn’t stop the small noise of hurt from leaving his throat.

“With time and patience, honey, time and patience.”

They spend their anniversary at home. They hadn’t planned anything anyways, and Bucky was still a little too shaken from the nightmare to actually leave the apartment for more than dropping Winnie off to school.

Instead, they spend the day having mind-blowing sex, and they both seem pretty happy with that.

The next day is Saturday and Saturday was quickly turning into one of their busiest days. Steve and Winnie hug Bucky goodbye and head off for the Compound, and Bucky heads off to the VA. 

On the way back from the Compound, Bucky sends a text that he spoke to Bridget and is going to need lots of ice cream, so Steve and Winnie stop to fulfil the man’s request. They have a quiet afternoon watching movies before Bucky makes himself presentable and heads down the few flights of stairs to Sofia and Marta’s apartment, Diego and Hugo running up to theirs.

Steve had decided not to join the book club. He felt like Bucky needed his own friends without Steve there because Steve had the Senior’s Club and Bucky didn’t. Bucky understood and thanked Steve, and it didn’t hurt that Steve had started to warm up to Diego and Hugo, two very rowdy, yes, but curious kids.

The following Monday during debriefing after training, they talk about the Avenger’s organisation as a whole.

“Personally,” America cleared her throat, her voice and body taking on a new tinge of vulnerability that the team hadn’t seen before. “The Avengers have always given me a sense of belonging. They’ve shown that people like me can have a place in the world.”

Peter smiled softly at her, squeezing her shoulder. “I think that’s amazing, and now you’re a part of that for other people who are exactly like you. We’re the Third Generation of Avengers.”

“Third Generation?” Steve asked curiously.

Peter shrugged. “Well, the First Generation were the six of you. The Second started when Sam, Wanda, Vision, T’Challa and the others joined. Now we’re the Third.”

The kids continue on their conversation, but Steve gets stuck in his head, Peter’s words repeating themselves over and over, so much so that Bucky notices that he’s a little distant when they lay down next to each other in his bed.

“What’s wrong, Steve?” Bucky asks, pressing his face into his pillow.

“Just something the kids were talking about today,” Steve confesses, his hand brushing up and down Bucky’s bare arm. “They called themselves the Third Generation of Avengers.”

“Third Gen?”

“Yeah. Peter explained it as the six of us as the First, then the Second with Sam, Wanda, Vision, etcetera, which makes them the Third.”

Bucky grins quietly. “How does that make you feel?”

Steve struggled to find the words because he felt like his emotions were too big and great for the simple use of words and because his throat was clogged with emotion. “I feel-I feel _awe._ Proud. It feels so right.”

The awe that Steve was feeling pressed against his heart so much it hurt. This initiative that he had joined out of necessity and continued to be a part of, even though secretly believing that it was doomed from the start for a while there, had blossomed into this living and thriving group of people doing good in the world, was inspiring.

He had done that. He had helped to create a force for good that made people like America feel like they belonged, encouraged scientific and other discoveries as they explored their own worlds and others, and made people feel safe and cared for. And it was going to continue to be that force of good because he was training the next generation of good people.

“I think you’ve found right where you need to be,” Bucky said softly, brushing his fingers through Steve’s hair gently.

Steve cupped Bucky’s jaw, his thumb caressing his cheek as he drowned in Bucky’s eyes. “Yeah,” Steve said, feeling the love and awe and rightness. “I think I have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been my baby since November 2019 and its survived so many things. I can’t express my gratitude for your continued love and support, it’s just too much. I hope ‘sunshine’ can repay some of the joy you have given me.
> 
> and I hope you liked the last chapter??? epilogue should be up in the next few hours, and it's pretty short but super fluffy. see you there!!


	15. I make my own sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you want ice cream too, Steve?”
> 
> “Sounds perfect, sunshine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from I Make My Own Sunshine by Alyssa Bonagura, John Fields Remix.
> 
> i hope this is a fluffy and satisfying conclusion <3
> 
> enjoy :D

_Five months later._

Steve placed the big potted plant in the corner of his living room and stepped back, smiling as he brushed his hands off. “There. Done.”

He turned around to look at the rest of his apartment, feeling something small inside of himself shift into place. His apartment was officially unpacked and _his._

A few weeks after their four-month anniversary in late June Steve had come to the conclusion that he needed to finally unpack his belongings and make the apartment his own, much to the relief of everyone in his life. Steve felt like life was good. He had a rewarding and exciting job, a warm and healthy relationship, and a joyous kid. The only thing missing was a home.

Since then he’s been unpacking his apartment, slowly turning the space from a cold storage facility to his home. With help from Bucky he printed and framed pictures, and Winnie created some paintings that are hanging up around in all the rooms, it started to finally feel like his.

The potted plant was the last of it, taking up the corner near the door in all of its healthy green glory.

Even if he had practically moved into the apartment next door, both Sam and Bucky felt like it was important for Steve to still have his own space that he had created for himself. Steve had agreed. It was actually a little cathartic, he thought, stepping onto the plush navy rug in his living room.

It felt like the final piece of the puzzle cementing Steve’s new life in Brooklyn with the two loves of his lives, a job he adores, and happiness seeping out of every pore. 

Steve’s wistful thoughts were interrupted by a voice from his open front door. He turned to find his boyfriend of seven months leaning against the door frame, sporting a small smile on his tantalizing lips.

Bucky’s eyes sweep around the room noticing the collage of photos, the half-full coffee mug, Winnie’s hairbrush on the coffee table, the herbs on the balcony. His sweet blue eyes fall on Steve and Steve is reminded to breathe.

Bucky looks good, like always. He’s wearing Steve’s red Iron Man hoodie because the November chill has settled into the air and the light blue jeans on his legs make them look lean and beautiful. 

“All done?” Bucky asks softly and at Steve’s nod, he walks over to the pot plant and inspects it. “Jeez, this is bigger than my office plant.”

Steve rolls his eyes, annoyed because neither Sam nor Bucky will spill the beans about the office plant.

“Yep, all unpacked. This is officially Steve Rogers’ apartment.”

Bucky takes the few steps over to Steve and places his hand on Steve’s waist, tugging him closer until their lips meet hard. God, Steve’s been with Bucky for over seven months now but kissing him still feels like the first time. It makes Steve’s toes curl and his body tingle all over. It’s addictive and breath-taking and home.

Bucky pulls back first and rests his forehead against Steve’s. “I’m really proud of you, Stevie.”

“Thank you, honey,” Steve murmurs, his hands going from Bucky’s face to wrapping around his neck. 

Steve can feel the outline of Bucky’s dog tags with his fingers and he feels a burst of pride in his own chest for his boyfriend. Two months ago Bucky had confessed he felt like he was ready to try wearing the dog tags again, thanks to attending weekly sessions at the VA and keeping in contact with Bridget, another parent amputee.

Bucky had only worn them for a short periods in the first few weeks, and never without Steve being there, but after gaining confidence due to the lack of horrible reaction to wearing them, he’d started to wear them more often.

“I’m proud of you too,” Steve takes one hand from the back of Bucky’s neck and traces the dog tag through the hoodie with his finger. 

Bucky hums and kisses him some more. Eventually, they pull both from each other and Steve takes a moment to fold the left arm of the hoodie up to stop it from flopping around.

“Tony talked to you any more about the arm?” Steve asks.

Bucky bites his lip, watching Steve roll the sleeve up. “He thinks that they’re nearly done. Shuri reckons I could be having surgery within the month.”

Steve’s eyebrows scrunched together. From the little information he’s received about Bucky’s possible surgery to attach a metal prosthetic to his arm designed and made by Tony and Shuri, it would take time to recover. If he was going to do it within December, he could miss Winnie’s birthday and Christmas.

Plus, Steve suspected that George and Freddie would be making the trip to Brooklyn in December for Winnie’s birthday and Christmas. He’d have to talk to Bucky later about it but he already knew Bucky’s reservations about it. He doubted Bucky would be having the surgery this year.

“I know,” Bucky whispers in response to Steve’s face, placing a gentle kiss on the furrow of his brow. “We’ll talk later, but for now, are you ready?”

Steve nods and takes his boyfriend's hand before grabbing the essentials, locking the apartment behind him.

They make their way to Winnie’s school, walking lazily in the rare warm sun of Brooklyn in near Winter. It’s Wednesday, which is date night, but this week Becca had a really important thing at work that could lead to a promotion, so Steve and Bucky decide to have their date night with their favourite kid.

They wait in their usual spot, talking about the latest schoolyard gossip they had both heard as parents move around them. They hold hands the entire time and Steve marvels at how far he’s come. Not too long ago he was standing right here, shitting his pants with nerves about looking after a little girl for her really hot dad.

Now he’s dating said hot dad and loves that little girl more than anything. 

Steve notices that his phone has been going off with notifications. He reaches into his pocket and pulls it out to see messages on the Young Avengers group chat.

**Hawkeye:** _Are we still on for Saturday night?_

**Spider-Man:** _We better be. We deserve it._

**Iron-Lad:** _Coach wouldn’t cancel on us. I thought he was going to explode with pride._

**Ms America:** _I think he did, honestly._

**Coach:** _Yes, we are still on for dinner Saturday night. No way was I not going to celebrate you completing the obstacle course as a team!!! I’m so proud <3_

**Hawkeye:** _Oh, God, I’m going to throw up._

**Ms America:** _Make sure you brush your teeth afterwards. I don’t want to kiss you when you taste like vomit._

**Iron-Lad:** _How romantic!_

**Spider-Man:** _We love you too, Coach!!_

“Kids excited for Saturday night?” Bucky asks.

Steve nods, smiling down at his phone before turning it off and putting it in his pocket. “Ecstatic.”

Steve was ecstatic too. Last week during training the Young Avengers had completed the obstacle course, at Steve’s highest difficulty rate, within twenty minutes. Steve had watched the whole time practically biting his nails, eyes flickering from the timer on his tablet to America picking Kate up by the wrist to fly her across, to Peter knocking Harley out of the way when an unexpected bougie came flying, to all of them finishing it at the same time, huge smiles on their faces.

Steve had run up to them and scooped them into a huge group hug because for five months they had been working on this course and for five months Steve had been building this team. They had created bonds through game nights and trust through exercises. It showed in their teamwork.

They still had a long way to go. Kate and America had started to date, which brought its own problems, and Harley was still insecure about being surrounded by non-humans, including Kate because she was practically too skilled to be human. There was still tension between America and Peter, but Steve knew that would fade with time as they started to trust each other more and more. They were nowhere near Avengers level ready, but Steve was starting to consider small time missions in the city, or doing patrols like Peter’s Spider-Man patrols.

Bucky smiles softly at him and bumps their shoulders together. “Me too. I haven’t read any of the book I was meant to, and neither have Sofia or Marta, so guess who’s going to have heaps of wine?”

Steve pretends to think about it for a moment before turning his head to Bucky in shock. “You!”

Bucky laughs and rests his head against Steve’s shoulder. “God, I love you so much.”

Steve will never, ever, in a million years and across thousands of galaxies and multiverses, get tired of hearing Bucky say that.

“I love you too.”

That’s another area of improvement for Bucky of the past few months. He’s started to have more wine at Book Club nights with Sofia and Marta which is attributed to his visit to the VA as well. He never gets drunk because he doesn’t want to lose control of himself, and plus, he’s getting too old for that now, but getting tipsy on a Saturday night once or twice over a couple of months isn’t too bad.

He’s always got Steve to tuck him in. 

“Oh,” Bucky says, suddenly remembering something as he squeezes Steve’s hand. “How’s Dottie after her surgery? She called today, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, she did. She’s doing pretty good and she’s ready for bingo next week. The others said they aren’t looking forward to her coming back,” Steve laughs. “Because they finally started winning when she was gone.”

Bucky laughs too and shakes his head slightly.

Steve has still been a member of Brooklyn's Brilliant Brunch for Senior’s Club. He’s an active member of Tuesday Bingo and Thursday Gardening, and his Friday Art Classes have been a massive hit.

Spending dedicated time to his art, not necessarily improving his skills but just creating, has improved his mental health exponentially. Until meeting Winnie, he had no idea just how much his lack of a creative outlet was impacting him. He loves cultivating it and then sharing it with others. He always laughs so hard he cries, and he always comes home with a work he’s proud of to show Bucky and Winnie.

He’s really connected with his friends there and will sometimes even see them out of the Club on other days to catch up. Just last Sunday they had a round of lawn bowls with all of their families and it was spectacular.

His friends sometimes make fun of him for it, but he loves spending time with people closer to his age and he thanks his lucky stars that he found them. They don’t alienate him but welcome him as if he’s as wrinkly and arthritis ridden as them.

The bell rings and the loud crowd of children spill from the building. Steve immediately spots Winnie walking towards them in her Black Widow costume, a decision made for today’s dress-up day. 

Steve bends down and holds his hand up in front of his face. “Black Widow!” He says, grinning at Winnie who’s shoved the book she was holding into Bucky’s hand so she can copy Steve’s fighting stance.

“Stevie!” She punches the air quickly. “Are you ready to be defeated?”

“Good question. Are _you?”_

She giggles but charges, punching him lighting in the shoulder. He wraps an arm around her waist and swings her up into the air, her squeals loud, before she presses her fist into his arm and starts to make the sound of electricity, which tells him he’s been hit by her Widow Bites.

Steve grunts loudly and starts to shake, slowly bringing Winnie back to her feet and himself to his knees, hanging his head down as his body convulses. He looks up to see Winnie grinning at him, one knee down on the ground with one fist in the ground, the other pointed to the sky as she imitates Natasha’s famous pose.

Bucky claps his hand and both Winnie and Steve turn towards him, grinning. “Bravo! Black Widow has defeated the terrible Stevie. I think this deserves some ice cream, don’t you?”

Winnie jumps up from her position, adjusting her backpack, nodding happily. “I think so too, Daddy!” She holds her hand out which Steve gratefully takes and she hauls him up to stand on his feet.

Steve takes the book from Bucky’s hand so Winnie can hold it as they walk from the school towards their ice cream shop. She walks between them, holding their hands.

“Do you want ice cream too, Steve?”

“Sounds perfect, sunshine.”

They do get ice cream and Winnie nearly gets it on her black suit, but Steve catches the ice cream just in time. After they finish, they walk back to their apartment building slowly, still holding hands as Winnie recounts her day and jumps over the cracks in the pavement.

They go into Bucky’s apartment first so Winnie could get out of her Black Widow costume and unpack her bag. They put the costume into the wash with promises that it will be ready for her to wear to the Compound on Saturday for her ballet lesson with Nat, who had promised to wear hers too.

Steve couldn’t wait to take photos. He was almost excited as Winnie, which Bucky took great amusement in.

They moved over to Steve’s apartment once Winnie was ready so she could check out the pot plant and the finished space. She hadn’t seen her paintings up before, so she hugged Steve tightly when she saw them all.

“You’re the bestest ever, Stevie!”

“I think you’re the best, sunshine, but thank you.”

“Hey!” Bucky cries and pries Winnie from Steve’s arms, dumping her on the couch. “What about me?”

Winnie giggles and shakes her head. Bucky gasps and tackles her as her screams fill the air. She tries to worm her way out from under her dad but she can’t.

Steve watches with fond amusement but rushes into the fold when Winnie holds her hand out towards him, “Steve! I need your help!’

“Coming, sunshine!” Steve cries back and jumps on top of Bucky.

They all giggle and laugh together until eventually, Winnie manages to stand on top of them, flexing her arms to show her muscles as she cries her victory. They settle back onto the couch, Winnie’s head in Bucky’s lap and her feet in Steve’s, their chests heaving with the exertion

Pretty soon Winnie huffs and starts to wiggle.

“You alright there?” Bucky checks on her.

Winnie smiles at him. “I want to go and paint with Steve, please!”

Bucky looks from his daughter to Steve and grins at him.

Sometimes Steve can’t believe what it means when Bucky smiles at him. There’s light shining out of Bucky, his eyes twinkling and cheeks pink. It warms Steve’s heart, starting a domino effect in Steve’s body leading to sweaty palms and his heart fluttering in his chest.

He can’t comprehend Bucky’s love for him, but if it’s anything like the love Steve feels for Bucky, then he can understand. They’ve both helped each other fix themselves and their lives. They’ve found a new rhythm together, a new wavelength and lifestyle. They found happiness together, helping the other to find themselves after their traumas.

Steve will be forever grateful to have Bucky and Winnie in his life. As he looks at both of him smiling at him, same beautiful, memorising blue eyes, Steve thinks about how he used to believe that they were his sunshine.

They brought hope, love and warmth in a grey time of Steve’s life, bursting through his windows and blinding him, finding dark spaces within himself he never realised were in the dark, but now he realises they were never his sunshine.

They just helped Steve find his, and now he’s burning just as bright. 

**The end.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all folks :D
> 
> Thank you so much for being here, for reading/commenting/kudoing/bookmarking. I really hope you enjoyed the ride and felt some sunshine. I'm happy with the conclusion (Steve found his sunshine and it was him all along YESSS) and I hope you are too. I tried to tie all the loose ends together in a nice bow, and set some things up for the future???
> 
> I have some ideas for short future one shots, but I’m about to start my first semester of my course so I have no promises on posting anything. However, is there anything you’d like to see with these three in this verse? If it inspires me I’ll try my best to write it. Make sure to subscribe to the series or me to keep up to date!
> 
> I hope the sun shines brightly on you today. Thank you. <3


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